freeze right there, dirtball! come on! let's go! up against the wall quick! 10-4! 10-4! up against the wall! we're gonna play a game called hide-and-seek. close your eyes and count to infinity! infinity? that's ridiculous. count! all right! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [ customers laughing ] hey, where'd he go? what are you laughing at? there was no gun. that guy mork had his finger in your back. yeah?! in that case, he just became an endangered species. yah! of lunch on the planet earth. it wasn't? no! for one thing, i don't usually get attacked. see, i don't like getting attacked. why didn't you stop him? i keep forgetting you just don't understand, do you? look, mork, that guy was a stupid creep. somebody should have made him stop. mindy, you don't understand. you see, orkans abolished violence a long time ago. we consider it humiliating. that you needed to protect? oh, yes, it was my girlfriend zundera mae joe bob. girlfriend? i thought orkans had no emotions. we're still assigned someone to go swimming with so we don't drown. how romantic. well, what ever happened to, uh...

from the richest robber barons to the lowliest dirtballs ? ? voting's done in a half a flash ? ? it only takes one's wrist-flick ? ? they make the process speedy >> jon: except for in black districts. >> stephen: that's true! yeah, a little weird the way that happens. it's a grade-a, crackerjack super duper, fun-packed peachy keen, grand slam whizbang, bread-and-jam way to keep america afloat. it's democracy in action, so get yeah! ( cheers and applause ) we've got a great show tonight! don cheadle is here! stevie wonder is here! >> now, now, hold on, now, mr. stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) hold on! toltold on, now! hold on! hold on! >> stephen: you had something to say? >> i did indeed! i have something to say! i say this to all of you -- let the child do as she pleases! >> stephen: oh, my stars! it's friend to children everywhere, the mayor of candy town, jon stewart! >> if the girl doesn't want to vote, she doesn't have to! here, have a toffee. everyone gets a toffee! have a toffee from an old man's pants! ( applause ) i have been heating those up all day. there you