and i think i proved that today at the dojo. typewriter torture. sensei, help. typewriter torture. no. typewriter. comedy central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody. i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for coming out. wow. wow. ( cheers and applause ) too much! too much! too much! let's do it. let's do it. we have two guests tonight on the show. first up, we're going to be joined by billionaire businessman and owner of the l.a. clippers. steve ballmer is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) and then you know and love him from "curb your enthusiasm," and now he's got a brand-new netflix special. jeff garl sin on the show! also on tonight's episode, bernie sanders gets a makeover. how to make impeachment sexy. and why santa claus has no time for your broke ass. so let's catch up on today's headlines. let's kick it off with the presidential race. this morning, former massachusetts governor deval patrick announced he