oh, dude, what a nightmare! [ telephone rings ] hello? dude, i just had the weirdest dream. really? all trapped on a bus, and then he dreamt that we were talking about things that had happened, only they were all wrong, and then he and his mother ate beetles. dude! that's a pretty [bleep]-up dream. yeah, i be having some real emotl proble. me aartman a kenny are going down to happy burger. you want to come? sure. i definitely don't want to sleep anymore -- see you later. [ croaks ] i want to thank you for making me feel alive again, marcus. ms. crabtree... what is it? what's wrong? you realize i can't stay. none ois is real. it's all been a little 8-yold's dream. oh, i know. i know, marcus. but let me just pretend as long as i can. sure.

which means, in the style of the coal dudes wife. >> jimmy: excuse me?t, because of the flecks of black pepper. it's like imagining her hair, or their kitchen, or their house. >> jimmy: is that what that means? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you learn something new every day. when we come back, mario batali and i will be cooking some carbonara. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ so many of your favorite... subway footlongs... are just $5. [ male announcer ] score big with the $5 footlong sub made just the way you love it. throw on some mustard... a little bit of mayo... black olives... maybe a couple jalapenos. i like a little kick. subway. where winners eat. ( music stops, gasping ) mother nature's no match for tampax pearl compak. with a 40% smaller applicator, it's full-size protection... only cuter. ( click ) ♪ [ male announcer ] it's luxury with fire in its veins. bold. daring. capable of moving your soul. ♪ and that's even before you drop your foot on the pedal. ♪ the new 2011 cts coupe from cadillac. the new standard of the world. but what were the results? fact: brow

not the same, dude., she says, "she overheard me talking about nelson mandella and said, 'he's so funny.'" she got him and howie mandell confused." [ laughter ] they are a little bit different. nelson mandella and howie mandell. yeah, they're pretty close. nelson mandella is pretty funny. @stevengramza, he says, "my roommate used to enter marathons to try to meet women." that's a great time to meet a girl, i think. running, sweaty, with diarrhea running down your leg. "hey, i'm brian. how are you? you come here often?" @courtney r smith, she says, "old roomie used to try to convince me that the condoms in the toilet must have come up the pipes from the apartment below." [ laughter and applause ] [ audience groans ] must have come from down there. it's a common occurrence. "those sluts living downstairs keep putting condoms and it just happens. can't believe this." @hdoom, he says, "my roommate used to smile while he slept." [ laughter ] wait, but you are watching him sleep. [ laughter ] so, who is the we

and then he kicked the dude -- but he kicked the dude through a glass window.e -- oh, he's on fire. i forgot to mention that. [ laughter ] landed on a kerosene tank and the tank exploded. i was like, "that is the way to kill someone on television." [ light laughter ] >> i saw barney do the exact same thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i wanted to tell you -- because i know you're on the twitter. >> yes. >> jimmy: you tweet out a lot of fun stuff. >> i tweet. >> jimmy: yeah, and i know that you got lasik. >> i did. i call it laser eyes. >> jimmy: you have the same side effect i got. >> i got the same side effect. >> jimmy: i can shoot lasers out of my eyeballs. >> they shot a laser into my eyeball and it worked. i want to you to know, it worked. i look like kirk rambis or an ugly buddy holly and now that isn't the case. >> jimmy: like the gary busey buddy holly, from the movie? >> yeah, totally. the angry one. the weird one. but now the side effect is that my eyes shoot lasers. >> jimmy: so do mine. >> what? >> jimmy: do you want to challenge me? >> yes. >> jimmy: lo

[ laughter ] poor dude., you're going to see is from a hog calling contest in illinois. this is kyle barton, who won the competition with this hog call. >> i've actually, grew up in the city. we'll see how well i do today. here pig pig pig pig. here pig pig pig pig pig pig piggy! [ snorting ] [ laughter ] [ snorting continues ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "thank you. thank you, there." like you didn't just snort into the microphone for 30 seconds imitating a pig like it was so normal. "nailed it. thank -- thank you." [ laughter ] you just had a momentary lapse of reason. you were shaking and snot was flying out of your noise. [ light laughter ] "yeah, thank you. thank you very much." our last clip comes from cleveland, ohio's, fox affiliate wjw. a reporter -- here's the deal. a reporter was told to cover a bear sighting, a black bear sighting. but the bear wasn't there. so he improvised. [ light laughter ] check it out. >> sunday morning, right here along miles road. a jogger sa

let's go dude. what? dude, that's sara. who's sara? the girl in the pink shirt. that's the girl i was telling you about. oh, that's sara. theater two on your left. hey sara, whatolor underwear toda hey sara. so, whenou gonna post something new? announcer: anything you post onanneanee. milyfriends... e ya later, sara. even not-so-friendly people. >>> the federal reserve is growing more concerned about the pace of the nation's recovery. the fed on tuesday did signal that it is ready to act, hinting that it will pump more money into the economy if necessary. the fed is now more concerned about prices falling than rising, which could lead to a drop both in wages and in the value of homes. >>> the fed's announcement is not having a huge impact on stocks, though. overseas markets are pretty mixed this morning. tokyo's nikkei average fell 0.4%. hong kong's hang seng is higher. in london, the ftse opened slightly lower. on wall street, the dow added seven points yesterday. meanwhile, the nasdaq slipped six points. >>> twitter says it has fixed a flaw that caused havoc on

what a great dude. i'm a fan of her, too.the new movie "jack goes boating," the lovely amy ryan is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] she's a treat, too. funny, funny person. and as broadway week continues here at "late night," it's broadway week, we've got a performance from the brand new musical, "bloody bloody andrew jackson." [ cheers and applause ] that's tonight. getting a lot of buzz. got a lot of buzz on that play. and it's gonna be good. you've got to check that one out. you guys, it's thursday. that means it's time to "remix the clips." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ now, this is where we take stuff we found on the internet and tv stuff that's funny, weird or interesting, and have our very own questlove remix it. he does it live and it's always entertaining. we love this. did you guys watch the season premiere of "oprah" this week? [ applause ] [ scattered cheers ] yeah. it's the final season of her show. so oprah decided to give everyone in her audience a pretty amazing gift. but what i love is, people in her audience

wow. [ cheers and applause ] that was great. >> jimmy: it felt good. >> dude, that was great.ne out. all right. good. >> oh, i get it. dial. you know what, come on, man. >> jimmy: here you go, buddy. >> i'm a righty but i'm going to go lefty. >> jimmmy: that's the way you hold it? >> yeah. this is how you do it. [ laughter ] when you've got to go the opposite way, okay? going opposite way -- golf channel. eat your [ bleep ] damn heart out. pretty good. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's fantastic. when your going the opposite way -- all right, your way here. >> okay. >> jimmy: get on the green. i think i get relieved from this grandstand and -- >> jimmy: you get one club length. it's true. one club length there. >> i didn't put that there. yeah, i mean, it's not -- you know. oh, sorry, the rules of golf, i know them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look at this pin on the hole. looks like it is windy. >> it is windy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: looks like it's going to fall down. [ laughter and applause ] here we go. >> we're playing at drunken hills. okay. [ laughter ] a little

but there had to have been a dude on the grassy knoll.y came from. okay, whatever, yo. [ laughter ] ♪ [ phone ringing ] [ laughter ] and so i'm not saying it had to be, like, a conspiracy or whatever. i'm just saying that, like, maybe we still don't know the whole truth. like, maybe it was the cubans or something. ♪ [ phone ringing ] [ laughter ] and, like, jimmy hoffa, i know where that dude is, too, yo. meadowlands! straight up fact, yo. everybody knows that. and i'm going to find out who took my xbox, too. anyway, i'm just a regular kid, and those are my reflections. i'll see you guys later. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ my reflections >> jimmy: some real food for thought there. my congrats to justin for a great job on "csi." [ cheers and applause ] stick around, everybody. we'll be right back with more "late night!" come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ where is the device? no... wait. the release is on my watch. [ male announcer ] it's movie time. with a wii twist. netflix now delivers unlimited movies insta

dude, you are a hero. you rule, dude.reporter: he works at a pizza shop and aspires to hospital a cooking show. >> jake make cheese steak, let's go. >> reporter: jacob went to the burn a koran event in texas to protest it. demonstrators chant the at the guy threatening to burn the muslim holy book. protesters put their hands on the grill to prevent the burning and jacob pretended he was one of the burners, standing behind their leader. >> what if someone burned the bible? >> let them do it. it's a free country. >> reporter: seconds later, jacob snatched the koran, which had already been doused with lighter fluid. watch again, behind the organizer's back. >> it's called the stolen koran! >> so i'm not afraid of them. >> reporter: jacob gave the book to a muslim. >> some brave young gentleman on a skateboard. >> reporter: jacob describes himself as agnostic. some described him as a thief. >> somebody's going to purchase all the material to make a bomb and i'm going to steal it from them before they put their bomb together a

dude, you are a hero. you rule, dude.ie. >> they make fun of my hair and stuff that cracks me up. >> reporter: jacob works in a pizza shop. jacob went to the "burn a koran" event in amarillo, texas, to protest it. demonstrators chanted at the guy threatening to burn the muslim holy book. protesters put their hands on the grill to prevent the burning and jacob pretended he was one of the burners standing behind their leader. >> what if someone burned the bible. >> let them do it. it's a free section. >> reporter: seconds later, jacob snatched the koran which had been doused with lighter fluid watch again behind the organizer's back. >> i'm not afraid of that. >> reporter: jacob gave the book to a muslim. >> some brave young gentleman on a skateboard. >> reporter: jacob describes himself as agnostic. some described him as a thief to which jacob says -- >> somebody is going to like purchase all the materials to make a bomb and i'm going to steal it from them before they put their bomb together and blow it up, does that make

[ laughter ] poor dude. our next clip, you're going to see is from a hog calling contest in illinois. this is kyle barton, who won the competition with this hog call. >> i've actually, grew up in the city. we'll see how well i do today. here pig pig pig pig. here pig pig pig pig pig pig piggy! [ snorting ] [ laughter ] [ snorting continues ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "thank you. thank you, there." like you didn't just snort into the microphone for 30 seconds imitating a pig like it was so normal. "nailed it. thank -- thank you." [ laughter ] you just had a momentary lapse of reason.

but then here's the other two -- where were these two guys, who are the two more dudes in here. "the situation" out. you know, "the situation" you might have abs, but i have crabs. [ laughter ] so, i'm -- [ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: did you get that looked at -- did you get that looked at before you start this thing? yeah. who was your partner with -- before in the other shows? your dance partner. >> did -- >> jimmy: "dancing with the stars," who is it? louie? >> it's louis van amstel now. >> jimmy: yeah, okay, good. and who did he work with before? >> he worked with kelly osbourne before and niecy nash before. and they killed it. they did great. >> jimmy: how are you gonna be rooting for on here? we'll all be texting and calling for margret cho -- >> me. >> jimmy: -- our pal. [ cheers and applause ] go knock on that show, dance your butt off. you're gonna be so great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much for coming on. "cho dependent" is in stores now. "dancing with the stars" starts september 20th. margaret cho everybody! robert randolph and the family band perform n

, he's one of the funniest dudes ever. >> i love him.dance floor. [ laughter ] it was weird. >> well somehow i managed to get wasted at your party. >> jimmy: we had in-n-out burgers, that was good. >> oh, good, i should have eaten one. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah, that's probably why i couldn't, but yeah i was -- it was so fun. >> i was so excited to celebrate you. >> jimmy: it was a fun couple weeks. >> yeah, it has been a crazy couple of weeks. >> jimmy: the premiere was -- sudeikis i keep forgetting jason sudeikis is in the movie, too, with a mustache. >> yeah, he has this whole, like, mustache -- >> jimmy: a really thick tom selleck mustache. >> and they have all this, like, funny dialogue. and then, they ended up writing a scene about the mustaches. >> jimmy: yeah, why did he grow it? >> as a time machine for sex, to bring women back into a different era. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a time where guys had mustaches? >> yeah. and so that, you know, i'll let him say it, 'cause he says it better in the movie. but, and then me and christina applegat

this is [ bleep ] crazy. >> dude! oh, my god! >> dude -- >> look at that. look at the tree.! look at the tree! look at the tree! holy [ bleep ]! oh my god. >> jimmy: i would have went inside, but that's -- that's me. i would have been in the basement in about an eighth of a second. i don't know why they didn't do it. so they got the whole thing on tape. listen closely to this one, to the reactions here. >> double rainbow, oh, my god! it's a double rainbow, all the way. whoa! oh my god, oh my god! oh my god! woo! oh my god! oh god. what does it mean? >> jimmy: i don't know what it means. it's the deadly double rainbow. one other thing. i've always said that if you're a naturally funny person you can make anyone laugh. you can make adults, teenagers, meter maids, even babies laugh. you should be able to make a baby laugh. so, i went out on the street today with a wager. i put myself to the test, and, well, here's how that went. >> bet you five bucks i can make your baby laugh! >> jimmy: i'll bet you five bucks i can make your babies laugh. all right? all right. i'll start with

i love that dude. he's going to be out here soon.you guys watch our showyou know that i use twitter a lot. and a lot of times on twitter, these weird lists get started. it's like a topic with a pound sign in front of it. on twitter, they call it a hashtag. now, on last night's show, i went on twitter and i started a hashtag called "if i had one wish," and i asked you guys at home to tweet out something werd that you would ask for if you had one wish. thousands of tweets came in. i was looking at them all night. it was great. but tonight, i thought i'd share some of my favore "if i had one wish" tweets from you guys. it's time for "late night hashtags." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hashtag, hashtag hashtag, hashtag ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. this first one is from @danvan3. i guess there was twother danvans. [ light laughter ] he really wanted that name. okay, @danvan3, he says, "i'd wish for one hand to be smaller so i could eat pringles without any problems." [ laughter ] "this is ridiculous, man!" what don't you just ask for pringles to

what's up, dude? how is it going? all good?t was wide. >> terrible. >> jimmy: far. here, go like this. this is what you are supposed to do. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ oh, yeah! [ vuvuzela sounds ] that's my vuvuzela. i got my own vuvuzela. 1-1. 1-1. [ audience ohs ] oh, my gosh. denied. >> oh, no, i can't lose. >> jimmy: here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ vuvuzela sounds ] [ audience ohs ] you were going to kick him while he was down. oh, man, here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ fifa 11 from ea sports is out september 28th. thanks to the great landon donovan. j.p., chrissie and the fairground boys perform next. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] when meg whitman arrived at ebay, they had 30 people and an idea. meg's job was to make it happen. it took leadership. focus. and the ability to bring people together. meg whitman delivered. named one of america's best ceo's by harvard business review, she grew ebay 15,000 strong and made small business dreams come true. now meg has a plan to create jobs. f

new dudes are too soft and soggy. no good. should be nice and firm. slurp.... h hum... disgusting again. to soft a noodles. it's good for my -- it's hard to pick up a noodles without breaking them. ha, ha, do you use a fish cake? yes, really? really? i have been looking for it. [laughter]. but i cannot find any. i got one. oh , no wonder i could not find it it is so thin. i can see through to over there. [laughter]. that's okay. sometimes at the noodle shops you use sponge cake it's terrible. hum, hum, yes. this is real sponge cake. that's okay. that's okay. i am a [inaudible] person anyway. do i have to eat it all? slurp... hum, yuk. slurp, hum... disgusting. i'm almost done. [laughter]. slurp, slurp. i gave up eating noodles. thank you, thank you. >> sometimes notable authors come to main stage and do more than read passages from their work. they sit in a live conversation with a reporter, playwright discusses the relevancy of his work with one of his theatre critics. as part of the yearly 1 city one book event. fields questions from sm scott chauffeur. >> before writ

dude, fish have ears, you know. announcer: lipton--drink on the bright side.and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to our show, everybody. and thank you so much for watching. we are doing something cool on "late night" next week. it's going to be broadway week. we will have performances from some of the hottest shows on broadway right now. "memphis," "promises, promises," "american idiot," "bloody, bloody andrew jackson" and much more. so check out the shows all next week. [ cheers and applause ] it's gonna be cool. you want to buy tickets when you come back at christmastime. we couldn't do brought way week without our first guest to kick it off. he's a two-time tony award-winner who is currently playing to packed houses "the addams family" musical. please welcome the king of broadway, nathan lane, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nathan lane! finally, you are here. >> jimmy, jimmy, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm so happy you're here. >> before we go into the phony show business banter, let me say to you, congratulations on the great success, the trem

dude, dude, you have got to turn on behind the music.really tough time and i think they may break up. hey, let's go watch that at your place. monica's watching some cooking show. come on, i don't want to miss when they were skinny. uh, hey-hey, chandler, chandler you know what we should do? you and i should go out and get some new sunglasses. what? no. i want to watch this. did your cable go out? no, no. that's vh1. yeah. i got to tell you, the music these kids listen to today it's like a lot of noise to me. i don't know. joey, why is your cable out? uh... oh, because i haven't really paid the bill. look, if you need money would you please, please just let me loan you some money? no, chandler. look, forget about it, okay? look, i know things have been a little tight since janine moved out-- god, was she hot. whoa-ho. i know. but look, i can handle it, all right? i can... listen to the radio, huh? and, uh, hey, ross gave me this great book. okay, fine. you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place? sure. yeah

. >> yeah and that was little -- little dude. >> jimmy: i miss it. that it will. >> jimmy: such a funny show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's such a good show and, actually, yeah, give it up. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. appreciate it. >> jimmy: it's a coincidence. it just so happened that we have your co-star, rashida jones on our show -- >> i know. >> jimmy: who is -- yeah, is in "parks and rec." and she's in "social network." but isn't it fun? >> oh, my god. you have -- you probably know. it is the best to be able to work with someone so talented and also someone that you love so much, like -- >> jimmy: oh, totally, i mean, i love -- i love the roots. i love questlove. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> and i love rashida. she's such a great person, and i love her so much, jimmy. i -- i'd love to sing a song about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sure, go ahead. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ light laughter ] ♪ ♪ tonight i celebrate my love for you ♪ ♪ it seems the natural thing to do ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tonight no one's gonna find

very now he is being duded to death. dude, you are a hero. you rule, dude. way to go and make fun of my hair cut. >> reporter: jacob works at a pizza shop and aaspires to host a tv show. he went to the burn a koran event in amarillo, texas, to protest it and demonstrators chanted at the guy threatening to burn it. jacob pretended he was one of the burners standing behind the leader. >> what if somebody burned the bible? >> reporter: seconds later, he snatched the koran which already was dowsed with lighter fluid. >> it's called a stolen koran. very jacob gave the back to a muslim. he describes himself as agnostic. some describe him as a thief to which he says -- >> somebody is going to purchase all of the materials to make a bomb and i am going to steal it from them before the put the bomb together and blow it up, does that make me a thief. >> reporter: as for the skateboard, guess where that ended up? where else, ebay. we don't know if he uttered the exact words plastered on a t-shirt. sounds more like it's ca

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you have a sweet land deal with the dude in jail. you are very good friends with a guy who is an american terrorist. you went to a itch church for 20 years -- you went to a church for 20 years with baggage. >> even biden has baggage. >> but at least they don't care what i am doing to myself when i am watching cinemax. >> you know who cares? your neighbor because you never shut your blinds. >> i am a mowner -- when i mow my lawn. >>> a massachusetts school district has had to apologize after a parent videotaped kids participating in midday muslim prayers during a field trip to a nearby mosque. roll tape, tape rollers. >> all the women chaperons, female teachers and girls were asked to leave the prayer area. the boys were asked to stay. because we were sitting far away, i didn't notice it at first, but i was shocked to look up and see some of the middle schoolboys praying with the men at the mosque following the movements of the faithful, their fore heads on the ground. apparently while we weren't looking, the boys were asked to join i

but dude, i got to say, you were like so good.it's a really hard name to remember. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know why he's incrusted in my head. but sean parker, who's the dude that started napster, or one of the heads -- on of the creators of napster. >> yes. >> jimmy: and then he gets on. he meets zuckerberg. you come on -- i think -- here's why i think you did such a great job. because you are very likable at the beginning when we first meet you. and then, man, you play a creep. [ audience ohs ] >> well -- >> jimmy: yeah, that's the way i took it. >> kind of -- that's objective. >> jimmy: that's the way i took it as. [ laughter ] no way, man. it is so good. it's so good to see you playing that. >> sort of a backhanded compliment on national television. >> jimmy: no, it's a great a compliment. >> that i played a great creep. that's what you were saying. >> jimmy: that's a stretch for you 'cause you're such a nice guy. but, i mean -- i made the compliment to david fincher as well. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: every actor in this m

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this dude takes a hit, tacks a swig, another drag and then slugs on a mini bottle.rty breaks up at 11:22 and by 11:25 everybody is back at the factory on time. wouldn't want to be written up for being late and remember, we saw this day after day after day. in fact, every day we went to the park during lunch, people were there partying. finally, last friday, we had seen enough. >> hey, guys. aid heat to be a buzz kill but shouldn't you guys be building cars? don't you work out at the chrysler factory? you know, the government spent a lot of money bailing you guys out and you coming out hear on your lunch break drinking like this. where you guys going, man? you going to go build some cars now after you had a few beers? >> chrysler is responding. the senior vice president for manufacturing says, quote, i'm very, very disturbed and i want to make it clear that we at chrysler take it very seriously. for us, this behavior is totally unacceptable and will be dealt with swiftly, end quote. the united auto workers union issued its statement saying in part the uaw strongly op

>> yeah, he said "dude." >> perfect laufrz. >> we love you, man.the moving target. >> just another -- >> nothing stops them. >> the power of the internet, two of these guys have now graduated college and are making this "dude perfect" thing their job, it's their business and they are apparently very successful at it. >> a couple of guys are in graduate school now and, you know, talk about finding something you love and figuring out a way to make money out of it, right? >> don't forget that "dude perfect" latest shot which we can't tell you anything about. we won to. the only thing we will say is that it's worth seeing to believe tomorrow on "the early show." they're going to unveil it here exclusively. it took them three hours -- >> isn't this the longest one they've done yet? >> yes. yes emplsts it was taken from atop a 150-foot tall texas church tower. that's all. >> up on a steeple. we won't tell you what they, were you know, trying to shoot into. >> that's it. >> and it's not on twitter. >> it is not on twitter. do you tweet? >> i used to but c

he gets pithy, paraphrasing, if you haven't been a good dude. best way to serve him is serve him and your fellow man missouri one has to talk to me about healthcare. it's my job because of individual salvation to be charitable. that will serve god. that's the key. i don't think the progressives, they look at god as something they can use. again, here she is talking to a group of spiritual leaders about her -- i love this. about her favorite word. >> my favorite word is the word. is the word. and that is everything. and you know the biblical reference, you know the gospel reference of the word. it's -- we have to give voice to what that means in terms of public policy that would be in keeping with values. of the word. >> glenn: her favorite word -- not two words, her favorite word is the word. i love that. nancy, you have a different word than i do, i guess. one of the president spiritual advisors jim wallis is also saying that marxism is what jesus was. watch. >> are you then calling for the redistribution of wealth in society? >> absolutely. wi

dude, it is "sesame street." >> and it is not cleavage. that's my point.next to carrie which is the first time i have done this show with a [bleep] by the way. >> first of all, you lie. >> by the way, before we have to edit this, he brought a picture of woody harrelson and he stairs at it. >> the last time it was woody hayes. you know, he owns a station wagon with wooden panels they call a woody. >> and woody from "toy story" is my favorite. >> chris christie defends meg whitman. he is never in his life been in a gym. >> look though. he is do doing laundry and tanning slightly of the. >> he is full on tl. >> this is jersey. this is guido to the max. >> i don't think he is tan. he is red from anger. >> i love him. he is red-faced. >> the way chris matthews is to obama. i am that to chris christie. i have a tingle doing -- going down both legs. i am also incot nent. -- incontinent. >> why don't we go to a break and you can deal with that incontinence. we are going to a break. plenty more crap when we return. >> oh my god!  >>> we're back d

>> yeah then we moved into a two-bedroom. >> and there was a dude that was obsessed with you that was hot tub? not weird at all. >> jimmy: so you guys don't live together anymore. >> no, she ended up going to berkeley and graduated. she got smart. i stayed. >> jimmy: you must be too young to really have watched the original "90210," right? >> i watched a little. >> jimmy: were you alive when it was on? >> i was alive. i was near baby but, no, i -- i watched -- it was my parents were too strict to let me watch it so i'd sneak out and go to my friend's house and watch it if it was ever on. it was a little too controversial for my family. >> jimmy: i could see that. especially when you were like 4 when it was on. >> i think i was actually 4. >> jimmy: were you really 4 years old. now you're on the new version. occasion fally the older -- the stars from the previous series will come back. >> they do. >> jimmy: then is it sad when that happens or -- >> no. i think it's great. they're wonderful. they he don't really -- they're the same. they haven't really come back this year. they came bac

fellows put on cortizole levels, those more chill, were rated a is more attractive than high strung dudes. so what does it mean? high cortosol can suppress reproductive functions and women may prefer chill dudes because they are better breeding partners. sort of like this catch. [screaming] >> bill, you do it all the time, but never on a roller coaster. >> if you paned down you would have seen me. that didn't happen, mom. >> if you were to look up the definition of chill in the duckary it would read opposite of nick de paulo. >> do you really want something opposite of me? but it always comes from europe these anti-male studies. they always have the socialist dump over there. >> why anti-male? >> because they say they may lose their temper 1k3* yell at their wives. >> getting upset there, buddy? >> a little. they say they prefer a french man. the aggressive guys get more work done, right? >> yeah. they build things. they build bridges. >> it is all about -- it is not anti-men as much as anti-science. this is not even women. >> what they are not women? >> they are not fully -- they are not