♪que no dudes. ♪yo lo siento en el alma. ♪lo siento en mi corazón.mpre está llena de amor♪. ♪que no dudes que te amo sólo a ti♪. >> tuve que dar ese paso, y yo, nunca han estado mejores que ahora. >> pero, no sabes el gusto que

i like that dude there.i don't know that guy. >> my stalker. >> jimmy: yeah, your stalker. you're dad -- your dad -- he loves going to the premieres and stuff? he looks like a good dude. >> yeah, he's been my date to a couple of premieres. >> jimmy: and he's from texas all the time as well? >> yes, he is. born and raised. >> jimmy: born and raised. real deal. >> like a real texan. yeah. >> jimmy: what's his name? >> david heard. >> jimmy: david heard. absolutely, you heard? you heard? >> he hunts and wrangles horses and the whole nine. >> jason: it's a good name for that job. >> yeah, right. >> jason: yeah. herd. >> jimmy: yeah. i don't get it. >> he's the marlboro man. >> jason: herd, you know. >> jimmy: i'm joking. i'm joking. >> jason: go herd. >> jimmy: i got it. >> jason: it's a funny word. >> jimmy: "drive angry 3-d." >> yes. >> jimmy: oh man. i'm excited about this one. this is like one of those grinder movies or -- >> it's insane. it's stupid insane. it's a lot of fun though. >> jimmy: stupid -- yeah

>> he's a weird dude. >> jimmy: he's a weird dude. what great friends. is he single?ch of a lady -- a lady friend? >> it's to be determined. >> jimmy: a boyfriend? a boyfriend? a guy friend? >> pretty vague. >> jimmy: vague, okay, very good. sounds like an interesting person. [ laughter ] i can't wait to meet this guy. i'm not sure he's going to be excited about watching this. you are his friends, right? are you? okay, guys. just making sure we didn't pick random strangers. [ laughter ] we have four of mark's enemies here. all right, now don't remove the blindfolds until i tell you guys, okay? >> all right. >> jimmy: you guys, is everyone here ready to meet the new mark? [ cheers and applause ] all right. here he is before. and here he is now. mark, come on up! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: mark -- [ laughter ] mark, you -- man, you look fantastic. you look very, very stylish. very -- very now. this has been some transformation here. it really has. the facial hair department as well. yeah. >> oh, yeah! >> jimmy: they're psyched about that. friends and family, ar

dude, what is going down?'s gone. >> yeah, thank god -- i mean, yes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now angelina -- >> jimmy: but she's gone, out of the house. >> yeah, she's gone. >> jimmy: not invited back. >> no. >> jimmy: nobody wants to -- the reunion, she didn't show up. we didn't want her anyway. >> right. >> jimmy: now in walks a new friend of snooki's. >> yes. >> jimmy: dina. >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah. this girl is like, she's ready to go! >> dina's awesome. >> jimmy: dude, dina comes drunk. >> yeah, she's awesome. [ laughter ] she's funny. >> jimmy: she arrives drunk. >> she has a good time. >> jimmy: she arrives wasted. >> exactly. that's how you've got to come, into the house -- >> jimmy: oh, that's not true? >> not knowing anybody, not caring. all she cares about is having a good time. and what's better than that? no, she working for them. >> jimmy: yeah. >> jimmy: last year you had g.t.l., gym tan laundry. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you had, "it's t-shirt time"? how do you do it? [ cheers ] >> it's t-

. >> steve: he's a good dude. >> jimmy: here -- there are these two people here.nice, older couple. >> steve: oh, no. [ laughter ] oh, no. >> jimmy: she's thinking, "this is fun." [ laughter ] and he's thinking, "i wish we could afford an actual wheelchair." [ laughter ] >> steve: it's the economy. >> jimmy: two different opinions. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: let's look at another one here. here's a nice couple out for dinner. she's thinking, "i hope he's not allergic to fish." and he's thinking, "i hope she's not allergic to crabs." [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] very, very interesting. >> steve: they're going to a crab house afterwards, right? >> jimmy: that's right. she might have an allergy. >> steve: exactly. shellfish is a very popular allergy. [ laughter ] peanuts, shellfish, things like that. >> jimmy: exactly. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look at these guys here. they're doing some unpacking. he's thinking, "just got to stuff one last box." and she's thinking, "that's what she said." [ laughter ] what does that mean? [ applause ] why would she say

some dude left it in the office.an the fun's done, son. you love money? you love cash? then bend over like rover and let russell stover take over. jimmy. >> jimmy: wow, that is nice. thank you higgins. higgins, did you do anything special for valentine's day? >> you know what? we did, actually. grandma came out of her coma. the whole family was around her. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, a couple of things before we start, you guys. at no time can you touch the hat or the gloves. nor can anything touch them. basically, you'll have to whip your arms and head around as crazy as you can until everything flies off, okay? also, please keep in mind that in an event of a tie, the audience will decide the winner, based on your dancing skills, so bring it. everyone ready? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, contestant number one, go over there and get ready. audience, lets cheer them on. ready? [ cheers and applause ] set. dance. ♪ >> jimmy: come on! ♪ ♪ ♪ [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: man, come on over. come on over. [ audience aws ] come on over.

he would be like, the mall, dude. the mall.e for haircuts and pants all the time. [ laughter ] i've never been a part of that part of making out or seen it. so here's -- >> jimmy: haircuts and pants. >> that's a new store i'm opening. i was at the st. john's dance and i'm with sam ritchiarti and we're introduced to these two girls by our friend tom, he had these girls from his town. and sam says to me one of these phrases, that i think we've all heard but it's very uncomfortable. he goes, you get that one. [ laughter ] which i know it sounds awful, but i'm comfortable saying it, because i know i've been on the negative end of that conversation, where a girl says of me, you get that one and her friend goes, ooh, or even worse, you owe me. [ laughter ] it really hurts, you know. >> jimmy: you owe me. >> based on my appearance, i would hate to hurt someone's credit score. [ laughter ] like, you can see the red of the bottom of my shirt through here. this is so awful. i don't have a weight problem, but i'm the guy who could put the

,,,,,,,,,, mail snail: hey doodle-dudes!

[ audience aws ] >> jimmy: this last one's for the dudes out there. okay?on: circumcision practices and foreskin restoration methods." [ audience groans ] by gary m. griffin, mba. [ light laughter ] he's not even a doctor! he has an mba! that's masters in business administration. [ laughter ] or in gary's case, masters in being awkward. [ light laughter ] i really don't want to know about different circumcision practices. and foreskin restoration methods? makes it sound like a "this old house" episode for your peanie. [ laughter ] [ in a boston accent ] "this is gonna be wicked hard to fix. you gotta pretty large foreskin. [ laughter ] what you think, kevin, you think we can fix this foreskin? we gonna need some caulk. [ laughter ] what's that? [ applause ] gimme your caulking gun. we're gonna need to caulk it. what color caulk?" [ laughter ] >> steve: sand caulk. >> jimmy: sand caulk. [ laughter ] >> steve: hand me those nuts. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe j.c. davies should have handled the caulk for a little while. there you go. [ laughter ] hey, that's a

♪que no dudes. ♪yo lo siento en el alma. ♪lo siento en mi corazón.or de tu tía, su apoyo. esa confianza que teníais y complicidad que teníais antes de que tú te fuera del país. >> sí, eres muy buen amigo de verdad, eres una persona increíble. jorge yo no debería de pedirte esto, pero ahora que marianela va a regresar necesito que emanuel deje de pensar que tú y ella se están separando. mira necesito que él piense que tú y marianela están juntos, dispuestos a resolver sus problemas. >> pues fíjate si te conozco, que te adivino el pensamiento. de hecho esta mañana he hablado con emanuel y le dicho exactamente lo que tú me estás diciendo. >> ¿de verdad? >> así es. >> pues gracias, ahora más que nunca estoy decidida a alejar a emanuel de mi vida. >> puedes estar tranquila, hermosa, siempre vas a contar conmigo, pero, por favor déjame que te cuente una cosa que me ha ocurrido. >> ¿qué? >> mira he topado con fedra curiel en persona y tienes razón, hermosa, ella sospecha. me dijo que yo no era el marido que tú te habías inventado para despistar a todo el mu

♪que no dudes. ♪yo lo siento en el alma. ♪lo siento en mi corazón., pero, claro que con gusto me quedaría con tus ojos. >> emanuel, mi amor, defiéndeme esta es mi casa, no permitas que me la quiten. >> cada mueble, cada objeto, todo lo que hay en esta casa le pertenece a marianela. >> eso mentira, eso lo estás inventando porque lo único que quieres es quitarme lo que es mío. >> mamá, contrólate. >> mire señora, yo lo lamento, pero le repito que esta propiedad ahora le pertenece legalmente a mi esposa. las órdenes son que usted debe irse, así es que si es tan amable. >> emanuel me quieren despojar sin ninguna consideración, no es justo, yo no. >> te recuerdo fedra que hace dos años, tú sacaste sin piedad a marianela de esta casa. >> mire, yo estoy aquí para hacer que se cumpla la orden de un juez, señora. >> ¡qué orden ni qué nada, pitufo, estos papeles son falsos! seguramente compraron al juez con dinero, con qué más, verdad. >> no utilizo tus métodos, reina. >> por favor, por favor, mire, no tiene caso que se resista, me entiende. usted tiene una de

that thanks to the dude.ght back but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's up next. >> jimmy: on the show tonight, josh brolin. camille grammer and musicc c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c

that was a nice kick there. [ laughter ] oh, yeah, you destroyed that dude.b. very, very good. nice kicking form. [ applause ] higgins, how many pinatas did he break? >> steve: two! ♪ >> jimmy: well done. is that right? it looked like three to me. okay. two -- contestant number two, you are up. very, very good. do you have, like, two blindfolds on? what do you got? >> no, just the two. >> jimmy: that's a "smurf" hat, yeah. [ laughter ] just keep walking. don't worry about it. ♪ la, la, la, la, la, la la, la, la, la, la ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma ma, ma, ma, ma, ma ♪ ♪ here we go. remember, you cannot use your hands or your body. let's start the fiesta ring. 20 seconds on the clock. ready, set, kick! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ gong sounds ] >> jimmy: very good. come on over. very, very good. come on over. come on and take your blindfold off. don't walk with your blindfold on. come on over here. you do not have a lot of rage. a very peaceful person. [ laughter ] very innocent, very peaceful, almost hugged one with your foot. it was very nice. [ laughter ] i don't

dude, you scored so hard in this movie.w you're funny in everything you do. but i mean, god in this movie you gotta love nick swardson. he's so good in this. you play, i'm not kidding, your character's name is dolph lundgren. [ laughter ] >> doulf lungren. and so i adopt this austrian strange accent. >> jimmy: you have crazy -- it's an austrian accent. you have crazy coke bottle glasses. >> coke bottle glasses. and i'm just disguised, "like hey what's up?" you know what i mean? it's just like -- >> jimmy: how did you end up getting that? did you just write that in? or did sandler come up with that? >> it was in the script and i was -- i was hanging out one day and i got a call from sandler. and he's like, "hey, man" -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he did not do -- >> he might not have done that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he called you and said -- [ laughter ] and that's what made you get the roll. you go -- >> that was it. >> jimmy: no problem. >> sandler does his little magic. >> jimmy: yeah. >> magic whistle. no. >> jimmy: yeah. >

those dudes are legit."f i had a freaking clone? double biebs, yo. you all better recognize. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> anyway, i'm just a regular kid and those are my reflections. see you guys later. [ scattered applause ]y, [ light laughter ] ♪ look at my reflection [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: some real food for thought there. my thanks to justin bieber for helping us out! "never say never" opens february 11th. go see it. and stick around, everybody. we'll be right back with jennifer aniston. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ uh, i'm in a timeout because apparently riding the dog like it's a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment! luckily though, ya know, i conceal this bad boy underneath my blanket just so i can get on e-trade and check my investment portfolio, research stocks, and set conditional orders. wait, why are you taking... oh, i see. hey max, would it kill you to throw a guy a warning bark? [ dog barks ] you know i wanted a bird. [ male announcer ] e-trade. investing unleashed. ♪

those dudes are legit."n if i had a freaking clone? double biebs, yo. you all better recognize. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> anyway, i'm just a regular kid and those are my reflections. see you guys later. [ scattered applause ] [ light laughter ] ♪ look at my reflection [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: some real food for thought there. my thanks to justin bieber for helping us out! "never say never" opens february 11th. go see it. and stick around, everybody. we'll be right back with jennifer aniston. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ man ] on your mark... [ whistle blows ] [ squishing ] [ male announcer ] pool filled with caramel. not as good as chocolate filled with caramel. introducing milky way simply caramel. life's better the milky way. ♪ $5 ♪ $5 footlong ♪ febru-any any 5 ♪ $5 ♪ $5 footlong ♪ febru-any any 5 ♪ you c-c-can't go wrong [ male announcer ] february's now febru-any. this month, every day, any of your favorite regular footlongs are $5 footlongs! even the melty steak & cheese and the deliciou

love that dude. well, those are the new iphone apps. we'll be right back with ice cube!rbit trumpet ] let's see what they think. cork my canteen! that's one bad mickey fickey! [ laughs ] shut the front door! more dirty mouths cleaned up with orbit. in stylish packs. - you can have it for free.ve. - shut up! [ announcer ] imagine if you could get the best for free. at h&r block, we believe you deserve... the best tax preparation available for free. so for a limited time, we'll prepare simple federal tax returns for free. call 1-800-hrblock. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, todd! thank you so much. you guys, our first guest helped create gangsta rap with his influential group, nwa. he starred in the hit movies "friday" and "barber shop" and now he is the executive producer of the tbs series "are we there yet?" which airs wednesdays at 10:00 p.m. please welcome ice cube! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. >> what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. thanks for being here, my man. >> oh, man, thanks for having me. >> jimmy: you shoot

love that dude. well, those are the new iphone apps. we'll be right back with ice cube!adio. gecko: caller steve, go right ahead. steve: yeah, um, i just got a free rate quote on geico.com, saved a ton, and it only took me 5 minutes and 12 seconds! steve: i was wondering, is that some sort of record? gecko: that's a good question. let's have a look. curtis: mmmm, not quite. someone's got you beat by 8 seconds. gecko: still, i mean, that's... that's quite fast! steve: well, what if i told you i only used one hand? anncr: geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. they're itchy, dry and uncomfortable. i just want to rip 'em out, throw 'em away and never see them again. [ male announcer ] know the feeling? get the contacts you've got to see to believe. acuvue® oasys brand contact lenses. feel how hydraclear® plus keeps your eyes exceptionally comfortable all day long. it feels like it disappeared on my eye. [ male announcer ] discover why it's the #1 doctor-prescribed contact lens in the u.s. and if you're not 100 percent satisfied, you get your money ba

you ended up on dude spoon. steve: well, jimmy, tonight's contestant gets to spend some quality time in a luxurious bed with sebastian. an international man of intrigue known for his cool under pressure, his love of high speed power boats, and his heavy musky scent. don't worry, he won't try anything. he just wants to spoon the hell out of you. a 20-second spoon will get you a total of ten points! jimmy! >> jimmy: arty? >> be the big spoon or the little spoon? >> jimmy: you'll probably be the bigger spoon, i think. >> arty, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you know him? you know sebastian? >> amsterdam '96. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's going on? >> you like jager, right? >> jimmy: sebastian, enough. look, you're just gonna jump in the bed with sebastian, assume the position. and then, if you do it for 20 seconds, you're all good. you can win this. for the game, my man. [ cheers and applause ] there you go. you good? you down? >> i'm down. >> jimmy: all right, go for it, buddy. here we go. get in position. 20 seconds o

new dudes are too soft and soggy. no good. should be nice and firm. slurp.... h hum... disgusting again. to soft a noodles. it's good for my -- it's hard to pick up a noodles without breaking them. ha, ha, do you use a fish cake? yes, really? really? i have been looking for it. [laughter]. but i cannot find any. i got one. oh , no wonder i could not find it it is so thin. i can see through to over there. [laughter]. that's okay. sometimes at the noodle shops you use sponge cake it's terrible. hum, hum, yes. this is real sponge cake. that's okay. that's okay. i am a [inaudible] person anyway. do i have to eat it all? slurp... hum, yuk. slurp, hum... disgusting. i'm almost done. [laughter]. slurp, slurp. i gave up eating noodles. thank you, thank you. >> sometimes notable authors come to main stage and do more than read passages from their work. they sit in a live conversation with a reporter, playwright discusses the relevancy of his work with one of his theatre critics. as part of the yearly 1 city one book event. fields questions from sm scott chauffeur. >> before writ

on craig's list probably that means the dude's not that discerning right so i think yes that's solid advice from from this anonymous woman well as by meeting her dude who was a congress member you don't need to troll around on craigslist you know just to find a girl to date that's what capitol hill is for that's why there are a million cute young staffers running around it anyway i decided i still think that he's absolutely stupid for the way but he did this and i don't appreciate the fact that he's cheating on his wife whom we have a child with but i also want to talk a little bit more about this woman with whom he was corresponding because like i said she is remaining anonymous and she didn't go your typical route where she sold the story where she wanted to become famous so i mean does that make her a good samaritan in this case i mean i kind of want to get a look at her. you know it might make her a good samaritan it might make her a realist i mean she's in upstate new york so i don't think there's a huge market like maybe she could sell some pictures to a paper in albany but i t

pilar nino 1-888-hmo-22-19 24:25 si usted tiene dudas o quiere mas informacion sobre este tema no dudero 1888- hmo-2219 pilar nino telemundo. cu ---y fijese que puede haber una nueva ley migratoria pero no de este lado de la frontera. take vo -- senadores mexicanos presentarn ante la cmara alta, un proyecto para crear una fiscalia especial de proteccion a migrantes en el territorio de mexico. --en el ltimo aÑo se ha generado un debate sobre derechos de los indocumentados, luego de denuncias de violaciones a sus garantas y casos de ataques, incluida una masacre de 72 migrantes centro y sudamericano s en agosto del 2010 en el noreste del pas. cu ---con esto nos vamos a nuestra primera pausa y regresamos en breve... take vo ---conoceremos el caso de una joven campesina que murio trabajando... conoce usted cuales son sus derechos?... ya regresamos. cu --2 aÑos despues de que una joven muriera a consecuencia del intenso calor mientras trabajaba en el campo, el fiscal esta de acuerdo con un trato controversial para con los supervisores de la compaÑia presuntament e responsable y tiene que ve

. >>> qué hizo par que dudes de él?a que las viejas están al lado de él tomándose fotos, que usted está lindo, divino, y cómo me voy a quedar así? >>> y dejas que las mujeres te besen? >>> eso es mentira, mira como vino. >>> tú eres el hombre de mi vida. >>> cuando cantas coqueteas con las mujeres? >>> no. >>> y permites que se tomen fotos? >>> sí. >>> y las abrazas? >>> sí. >>> y las besas? >>> sí. >>> y eso que no trajo su amiguito, porque debe estar feliz porque quiere dejar que se vaya libre. >>> qué piensa nuestra audiencia? >>> esto es amor u obsesión? >>> esto es obsesión, deberías valorarte. (gritos) >>> escucha, vino a pedir una orden de restricción, entiendes que significa? >>> sí. pero no quiero alejarme de él. ¿tienes dignidad? >>> sí. >>> ustedes qué piensan. >>> no. >>> si él quisiera estar contigo no vendría a pedir una orden. >>> y me amenaza y dice que va a llamar a la policía. >>> entonces, qué haces? tratando de evitar una situación de violencia doméstica? >>> no. yo voy y miro con quién está. >>> y q

>> then they sent a dude to my house with, like, 30 seconds of film.leave. >> jimmy: "i'm very sorry, mr. jackson." >> yeah, right. >> jimmy: but it did come out the end and then, boy, did it kill. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, it destroyed in the theater. >> but i had a better job in "iron man 2." so, i get to actually talk and hang out with "iron man" and kick it with scarlett, who's one of my good friends. >> jimmy: i love scarlett johansson. she's great. well, that's the big -- >> "black widow" is like dope. [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. i mean, it's good stuff. but you're going out -- i heard you're going out to read with some actors? >> yeah, i got a screen test, like, five actresses on friday. they have this new character that's, i guess, my sidekick or something that is with me all the time. [ light laughter ] so, they're auditioning girls for it. >> jimmy: some secret good stuff. if we were at comic-con, there would be a riot right now. >> yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] beating doors down. >> jimmy: let's talk about this movie here on hbo, "the sunset li

i thought after the service, i want to meet this dude that he's describing. that will help me get ahead. then he continues on. he said, but i had a chance to visit with this young man, and he forgotten from wince he came. i thought, oh, lord. he then begins to tell the church things that -- he told the church things which i told him about myself that was said not necessarily in confidential, but in private. the only thing cocompare it to is "killing me softly," and he was killing me softly with stories i gave him about my life with my parents who were domestic servants, and then as he said, he quoted this poem from langston hughes. he changed it to be my mother, and then he used the point like so many of you sitting in the audience today know you wouldn't be here other than the fact that somebody worked in somebody's white folk's house in order for you to be a lawyer. as he talks about this, particularly as he began to put my mother within the context of the poem, tears began to come down my face. it was like, you know, it's over. i'm bestirred. as i said, he

. >> do not put me on that tv, dude. >> in the bay section, stanley roberts.u have a comment or story idea for stanley, you can email us at peoplebehavingbadly@kron4.co m >>jacqueline: from our live look at san francisco a mix of clouds and clearer skies. a storm is riding the coastline but we're not acting in a lot of rain out of is it. clearing skies overnight with the cool morning. it details on that coming up the news at 6:00 p.m. is coming up, next. live from the kron 4 news station, this is the kron 4 news. at 6:00 p.m. >>pam: at 6:00 p.m. the latest series of storms lingering around the bay area. you can see the damage cost to the santa cruz county on the left side. and the long line of cars waiting on mt. diablo. let us check-in with a jacqueline what can we can expect. with already sprinkles. >>jacqueline: already that storm offshore. however, it is good to push south. >>pam: a paradea break? >>jacqueline: yes, those clouds of the san mateo coast. however, to the bay iraq could get a break. is- the bay-area could get a break--and this cloud coverage w

he's a funny dude. i love that guy.got some great, great music from raekwon featuring ghostface killah. [ cheers and applause ] come on. all little wu. come on. guys, today is friday. that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. you know, check my inbox, return some e-mails, and, of course, send out thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] i'm running a bit behind today and i thought you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write my weekly thank you notes, right now. is that okay? [ cheers and applause ] hey, roots can i get some thank you note writing music please? ♪ [ light laughter ] oh. what a confident gentleman that guy is. yeah, just confidence. here we go. ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, monday, for being president's day, a day we get off of the work to honor the lives of washington and lincoln by getting wasted sunday night and sleeping till 3:00 in the afternoon. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thank you, this dog from the westminster kennel dog show. [ light laughter ] you didn't win "b

got you heated because i'm done with you and you know i'm on to the next dude. love nobody, trust nobody, and most definitely near fear nobody. it's a cold game. play your part the you ain't even on topic. let's not speak about it. i do what i do and i does it with. i saw your mommas. i got me one and i call them daddy instead of papas. you ain't with it, you in the past. since i guess you have nice things well you whack and because of that aspect i never ever slacked. not the female you used to date. i got a unique type situation. i'm so glad these birds they just bloop me. i speak fluently. she busy with all that blah, blah, blah. hear me out though. i'm going to leave you stern. [applause] >> in an urban high school in the science laboratory lab, two girls are discussing their project. >> you don't even know what you are doing the -- doing. you're dumb. >> you test too much. >> the day has come. the projects are to be returned. >> see, i told you? mine was the best. i told you, dummy. besides, let me see what you guys have. >> you know, i'm leaving. after sch

no single one is ever the same dude. it's truly wonderful. the nearest settlement is far away radio is the only means of communication with human civilization. hey folks you're listening to our movement of radio show us the house once again and you katrina and look at it last term and talked about in the history of the congress is nature reserve the small studio broadcasting the movement show is in the town of scores of kilometers away from the a bug for school children tell locals about the caucuses reserve journalists. oversees the programs the children talk about the reserves animals surviving trees mountaintops and rare plants. they draw on their experiences reporters and engineers working in various protected areas therefore they are always fully prepared for the program when they go on air. then i think when people look at it and they try to imagine what these trees saw a long time ago. as for me i always have this on the county feeling that my agent stature martin significant in front of these or inspiring giant. one of the most famous

very funny dude.from the ceiling on wires like tom cruise in 'mission impossible,' then doing a boner spin for 45 minutes." [ laughter and applause ] applause? i like that guy in the front, just clapping right there. i think that's pretty funny right there. you -- you're -- why -- he was clapping. [ laughter ] that's what you would do too? you would do it that way as well? okay. this one's from @mrpettyjones. he's says his grand entrance ia would be, "danny devito wearing a diaper pushing me in a stroller made of rare dinosaur bones while 'all by myself' plays --" that's weird though. [ laughter ] ♪ all by myself don't wanna be all by myself ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ chariots of fire that should be the theme to "jurassic park." [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: when i was young, i never needed anyone, that's the weird thing. i'm making love just for fun, you know? those days are gone. all by myself. i don't wanna be all by myself. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm gonna let you -- i'm gonna let you eat t

dude, look at those pants. please don't say that. what? don't say that something is gay when you mean that something is dumb or stupid. it's insulting. it's like if i thought this pepper shaker was stupid, and i said, "man, this pepper shaker is so 16-year-old boy with a cheesy mustache." just saying. >> on behalf of the newly designated mayor of san francisco, i welcome each and every one of you. it was just about five minutes ago that david chiu sees it to be the mayor -- ceased to be the mayor. the active mayor for about 27 hours wallace the president of -- was the president of the board of supervisors. we thank you for your service. next to him is the senior member of the board of supervisors, the man who nominated john elsbernd. [applause] then not necessarily in alphabetical order, supervisor john avalos, supervisor david campos, supervisor carmen chiu, supervisor malia cohen, supervisor mirkarimi, supervisor farrell, supervisor kim, and supervisors got wiener -- supervisor scott leonor -- wiener. a number of your friends thought it

dude, look at those pants. please don't say that. what? don't say that something is gay when you mean that something is dumb or stupid. it's insulting. it's like if i thought this pepper shaker was stupid, and i said, "man, this pepper shaker is so 16-year-old boy with a cheesy mustache." just saying. >> i have been a cable car grip for 21 years. i am a third generation. my grand farther and my dad worked over in green division for 27. i guess you could say it's blood. >> come on in. have a seat. hold on. i like it because i am standing up. i am outside without a roof over my head and i see all kinds of people. >> you catch up to people you know from the past. you know. went to school with. people that you work with at other jobs. military or something. kind of weird. it's a small word, you be. like i said, what do people do when they come to san francisco? they ride a cable car. >> california line starts in the financial district. people are coming down knobbhill. the cable car picks people up. takes them to work. >> there still is no oth

. >> thank you, dude. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. but you're gonna be in new york all week?at the blue note on saturday and sunday? >> actually all week long, till through sunday. >> jimmy: there you go, you guys. you gotta go che ue and see what's up. he's awesome. thanks for being here, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, jimmy. i appreciate that, thank you. >> jimmy: we got such an amazing show. added to steve, here, we got the one and only -- i can't believe she's here -- one of my super favorites of all time, candice bergen is here. [ cheers and applause ] love her. from "big love," the one and only ginnifer goodwin is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] that's my old pal, ginnifer goodwin. and we have a very funny stand up making his tv debut tonight, colin jost is here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] he's a very funny man. it's gonna be great. you guys, today's friday, and that's -- [ scattered cheers ] thank you, yeah. that's right. that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. i check my inbox, return some e-mails, and of course, send out thank

anybody who is portrayed on scene will be called the b-word if she is a woman or another term if it is a dude. i cannot imagine anybody plan that character would be embraced or beloved. maybe it is not sexist, i don't know, you tell me. >> i am not sure. i believe there is a lot of sexist mentality in business. i have seen it quite a lot in the past year-and-a-half, dealing with haiti, and i noticed being in certain circumstances, in offices, it is an interesting dynamic. something i'm just starting to look at and explore. tavis: how have you decided, you're just starting to explore, your strategy may change, but how at this point have you personally dealt with being in those environments? >> that is a great way to put it, putting in a patriarchal set of way. it is having as much education as i can, and i am clear on my vision. i set boundaries from the beginning, this is what i want, and also not what a lot of people do, i find, especially artists who are doing business, is giving our power away. i find myself being a really generous person, so i am always giving ideas, connections. them whe

dude, look at those pants. please don't say that. what? don't say that something is gay when you mean that something is dumb or stupid. it's insulting. it's like if i thought this pepper shaker was stupid, and i said, "man, this pepper shaker is so 16-year-old boy with a cheesy mustache." just saying. i was just driving around minding my own business... when it came out of nowhere.

you really are a marshall. >> yeah. >> jimmy: in kentucky. >> one of those kind of old school dudes.phant, being very u.s. marshally in "justified." here we go. it's on fx. >> it's a verb. >> coover, you throw a dead rat in my car -- -- what are you trying to tell me? >> take it any way you want, rayland. as long as you know i'm serious. >> you're telling me you're a mean son of a bitch. do you know how many wanted felons are giving me this look? i'd say a thousand. i know i'm low. some turn ugly as i put on the cuffs. they're too late. there's mothers, i swear. they even try to draw down on me. [cheers and applause ] >> oh, yeah that was good. >> jimmy: that's a good show. that's a good show. >> i mean, i'm on it, so i'm a little bit -- i'll tell you this -- if they broke into song -- it'd be a great show. >> jimmy: you can't sing though. >> oh! >> jimmy: do you want to have a little shoot out? >> this is -- do i want to -- >> jimmy: yeah, have a little shoot out. [ cheers and applause ] there you go. >> you got one, too? >> jimmy: yeah. of course. >> i thought we were -- i asked fo

mark zuckerberg, facebook founder, had to get a restraining order against a dude stalking him on facebooking his safety, threatening his sister. there are the pictures from tmz. had to get a restraining order. 6 creepy stuff, visits to his house, creepy messages on the site. very, very weird stuff here. zuckerberg, facebook guy is not immune -- ebook guy your family? is not immune -- >> that's your family? and if you wake up often in the middle of the night... rest is here, on the wings of lunesta. lunesta helps you fall asleep and stay asleep, so you can wake up feeling rested. when taking lunesta, don't drive or operate machinery until you feel fully awake. walking, eating, driving, or engaging in other activities while asleep, without remembering it the next day, have been reported. abnormal behaviors may include aggressiveness, agitation, hallucinations or confusion. in depressed patients, worsening of depression, including risk of suicide, may occur. alcohol may increase these risks. allergic reactions, such as tongue or throat swelling, occur rarely and may be fatal. side effects ma

. >> oh, look at us, three construction dudes. dad, i'm going to get you workman gloves, blue or camel, what's your preference? >> surprise me. tavis: you are the most diverse head of the household. your family is all over the place. >> yeah. tavis: you are diversity. >> that's right. tavis: what do you make of this character and all the different pieces of his family's puzzle? >> when i first started trying to do it, i was concerned, you know, i thought, i don't know how to play this guy. i didn't know how that relationship would work with my wife, the clomian, i didn't know if anybody would buy that. this is perfect casting. and then again, at this stage, i'm 64. i really don't even know how to play it. i don't know how to be 64. it seems odd to be this old. it's almost i'm out there on my own now. when you are in your 30's, you sort of know what's appropriate. you know how to live. so, that carries over into the world and i don't know what's appropriate half the time. i don't know if that makes sense. tavis: i get it. the quest