"dude, dude, dude, those are socks." [ baby sounds ] "nope, just socks." baby say anything more?baby sounds ] "dude!" [ baby sounds ] [ vomit sounds ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? i threw up on the baby? >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] [ talking over one another ] >> steve: "payback's a bitch." >> jimmy: you're ridiculous. payback's a bitch? [ laughter ] that's not what you say when you throw up on a baby? >> steve: "dude --" >> jimmy: who is this guy? >> steve: "just wearin' socks, man." >> jimmy: this guy should not be a babysitter at all. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, lady gaga, for stopping by google headquarters for an interview. gaga, google. google, gaga. goo, ga, ga, goo. ♪ ga, ga, google, ga goo, ga, google, ga ♪ ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ] there you have it. those are my thank you notes, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with "put it in reverse." come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] there's a place where everyone feels at home. where the company, the conversation, and the food make all who enter feel welcome. a place that fe

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: dude. >> hey. >> yeah. >> awesome town. >> jimmy: the dudes are hereo say "i just had sex with akon." well done. >> thank you. >> jimmy: well played. do you have one where you were doing something with elton john this weekend? >> elton john is involved in the digital short. >> jimmy: that's all you'll say, very good. we'll wait. >> we're still shooting. >> jimmy: are you a winker? >> i hate winking and i did it because you told me to, then i was like, oh, i biebered. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> he winks all the time. he was on the show. we hung out. but he winks a lot. >> jimmy: he is winker. yeah, yeah, yeah. but you don't wink. i'm not a winker. >> i don't like winking, it creeps me out. >> you did it just there, we're going to make a gif out of it and pass it around. >> i think once you're over 18 it turns to pervy. when you're younger you can get away with it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, so you're saying kids are allowed to wink to a certain age? >> yeah, you're allowed to wink -- it's like a reverse drinking. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when you'r

♪ ♪ ♪ dude dude ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: questlove right there!t," everybody. stick around, it's fun. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ a, b, c, d ♪ can i bring my friend to tea? ♪ ♪ pink, brown, yellow, orange, and blue ♪ ♪ i love you ♪ buhm, buhm, buhm, buhm, buhm, buhm-buhm ♪ ♪ buhm, buhm-buhm, look at me ♪ all together now [ male announcer ] unlimited is good. and thanks to sprint, you can talk, text, and post as much as you want for no extra cost. so go ahead, world as much as you want for no extra cost. unlimit yourself. trouble hearing on the phone? visit sprintrelay.com. sprint. america's favorite 4g network. his family knows what to expect. but what mike rowe doesn't know is that his parents have armed themselves with unquilted viva® towels. wow, for me? [ male announcer ] if viva can handle mike rowe's mess, just think what it can do in your home. grab a roll for yourself and grasp the unquilted difference. a lot. you've had the escape for a week. i was a honda guy for a long time. the escape actually has great gas mileage. i need something fu

♪ ♪ ♪ dude dude ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: questlove right there!t," everybody. stick around, it's fun. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] our next generation of powr comes with care. ♪ ♪ discover the next generation of deodorant. new dove men + care. combines the power of 48 hour protection plus our caring 1/4 moisturizer technology. introducing a deodorant that is tough on sweat, not on skin. new dove men + care deodorant. the morning after the big move starts with back pain... and a choice. take advil now... and maybe up to 4 in a day. or, choose aleve and 2 pills for a day free of pain. smart move. ♪ smart move. welcome back to geico radio, hello uh george and linda! george: hello mr. gecko! linda: so, we're such huge fans - george: of yours...and would be really honored... linda: ...if you would marry us. me? linda: yea! you just seem so smart...so - george: british sounding. i'm not really qualified to speak on matters of the heart. look i'll tell you this: when you insure more than one car geico you could save even more with our mul

[ cheers and applause ] i love this dude.great. [ applause ] and we got some great music from dispatch, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] it's gonna be great. it's a party! all right. it's time for "late night" hashtags. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: these are lists on twitter where we give you the topic and you send in the tweet. so yesterday i went on twitter and started a hashtag called "don't judge me." i asked you guys at home to tweet up some crazy or weird thing that you do, or something that makes you want to say, "hey, don't judge me." okay? we got thousands of tweets. i was watching them come in all night. it was great. i thought i'd share some of my favorite "don't judge me tweets" from you guys. here we go. this first one is from @p.m.murphy. he says, "i hold out a hand at automatic doors and pretend they're opening because of the force." [ light laughter ] i've done that. you feel like yoda. "open you will. this is from @pinkbutta. [ laughter ] >> steve: pinkbutta? >> ji

. >> that wasn't funny, dude. >> reporter: not exactly what aflac executives learned in business school. more than 11,000 people auditioned online. >> aflac. >> reporter: hundreds more in person doing their duck in a variety of moves. you got one where you're crying through it? >> aflac! >> reporter: laugh if you want. for aflac, getting it right is no joke. >> aflac. >> reporter: by month's end the company will pick a new voice. >> you want me to say aflac in spanish? >> reporter: the job pays low six figures just to quack one word well. >> aflac! >> reporter: is this a great country or what? >> never dreamt i would be quacking for my living. >> reporter: mark strassmann, cbs news, atlanta. >> aflac.

the first person in the audience let out a book, sheen replied, quote, "i already got your money, dude." sheen's tour is set to arrive in san francisco in about 29 days, april 30th. by the way, tickets for it run from about $100 to almost $400. so apparently not winning for charlie sheen there. >> well, it's expensive. that is expensive. >> $400. >>> a lot of excitement tonight in indianapolis. the women's tournaments, stanford is there looking for a spot in the championship. time winding down. the cardinal trying to take out thing a for the right to play uconn or notre dame who are up next. we bring you the latest. plus, a big day for hideki matsui, reaching a major career milestone. the masters is this week. but you can take to augusta national now with the latest tiger woods video game.

>> no, he's a good dude, man. >> jimmy: you like him? >> yeah.aces cars? he's nuts. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: i mean who races -- that's a crazy sport. >> he's actually number one ranked new zealand driver. >> jimmy: is that right? is there anything you don't like about him? >> ohh, i'm not saying it on air. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, very smart, very smart. we should talk quickly about the tiger woods foundation, too. it's going, 15 years you're doing this? >> 15 years and we've helped over 10 million kids now. so it's going really well. >> jimmy: that's wild. and you get to see them grow up? [ cheers and applause ] is that weird, meeting -- feeding childs 15 years ago? >> what we're doing is, we have these programs in which these kids are able to learn and grow but also go to college and a lot of those it's the first person of their entire family to ever go to college. and what they do, is once they go to college, we want them as ambassadors and mentors to come back and they end up teaching the next generation of kids. so it's a perpetual whee

>> jimmy: dude, wait, what are you doing? >> pop these in there. pop them in.at's happening? >> so, this is -- we're actually. >> jimmy: stop dancing. stop dancing like that. why are we dancing leprechauns? >> it's the day after st. patrick's day. all right, so what we're going to do now is just go ahead and take these bad boys and finish it with a little cocoa nut milk powder for fun and -- you just want to go ahead and pop it in your mouth. bottoms up, buttercup. [ laughter ] cheers. [ laughter and applause ] [ mumbles ] >> that's a great late night snack. >> jimmy: marcel vingeron. check out "marcel's quantum kitchen" this tuesday at 10:00 p.m. on syfy. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to robert de niro, bradley cooper, pauley perrette, chef marcel vigneron, and the greatest band in "late night," the roots! [ cheers and applause ] [ mumbles ] --hope to see you next week! bye-bye! [ cheers and app

generous dude.i'm actually going to go ahead and double that. [ light laughter ] i'm going to put $86 more to the [ laughter ] so put that in your pipe and smoke it, stephen colbert. [ cheers ] if you smoke a pipe. if you don't smoke it, then forget what i said. i tell you what else i'm going to do here. generous dude. since we raised $43 extra, i'm actually going to go ahead and double that. [ light laughter ] i'm going to put $86 more to the pot. 20, 40, 60, 1, 62 -- [ light laughter ] as i said, $62 more to the pot. ♪ that is a total -- [ applause ] that is a total of $26,000 -- 43 -- $105 raised. [ scattered applause ] all of us did it. you guys, we're helping over 12,000 kids. i'm so excited. it's a great organization. thanks to everyone who donated. thank you so much for all of your help. you guys are awesome. [ cheers and applause ] i really, really appreciate it. it's a good thing. and the best part is that stephen colbert will be here on friday to sing the song "friday" with the roots. so s

dude spoon, higgins, tell him what he's got to do. >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's contestants getsants to do is spoon the hell out of you for 20 seconds. >> jimmy: it's the dude spoon. >> steve: and it's worth 15 points. yeah man! >> jimmy: here you go. you can be tonight's big winner. all you have to do let sebastian here spoon you for 20 seconds. >> 20? >> jimmy: 20 beautiful seconds. you up for the challenge? >> i can do it. >> jimmy: sebastian, you up for that? >> oh. i was born up. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. tell your parents to turn off the channel right now. why don't you jump in bed with sebastian and assume the position. it's all good. let him have his way and get it over with. >> yeah. >> jimmy: 20 seconds on the clock. let's go -- spoon! ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's ridiculous. he's sweating like crazy. and since you completed the dude spoon which means you won 15 points, which means, you are the winner! [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: thank you very much, sebastian. as a big winner, you'll receive a check for $100. you earned it, buddy. guy

and now he's like -- [ in deeper voice ] "dude, seriously, are we there yet? [ laughter ] i want to get out of the car and shave." this is a major science story, you guys. major science story. researchers in the u.s. have discovered a new particle smaller than the atom. it's unbelievable. we actually have a photograph. [ light laughter ] it's hard to tell what it is. can we widen out? [ laughter and applause ] this is big, you guys. fox news announced today that glenn beck will leave his show later this year. [ audience aws ] [ scattered cheers ] it's nothing -- it's nothing personal, he just wants to spend more time with the voices in his head. [ light laughter ] and so, just let him do it. and finally, a company in chicago has started selling a cologne that smells like bacon. [ scattered cheers ] yeah, my dog started wearing it. now he gets all the bitches. here we go. ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey! [ cheers and applause ] we got a good show. i tell ya, you guys know "the

i love that dude.oul surfer," lorraine nicholson will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] plus, music from a legendary punk band from the u.k., wire is with us tonight! [ cheers and applause ] they're awesome. the real deal. ladies and gentlemen, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight's topic -- charlie sheen's "my violent torpedo of truth" tour. [ laughter ] [ scattered cheers ] everyone is talking about this. >> steve: everyone. >> jimmy: charlie sheen's live tour kicked off this past weekend. so far the reviews have been mixed, but it's exciting either way. yeah. so, let's take a look at the "pros and cons" of charlie sheen's "my violent torpedo of truth" tour. here we go. pro, opening night sold out in 18 minutes. con, it cleared out in 14 minutes. [ laughter ] it happened. it happened. pro, you can expect a little bit of everything. c

dude, you're 45 with five kids.sit in your little chair in your big house with your bean bags, laugh and sit back and enjoy the ride. and buckle up, 'cause it's gonna be a long one. it's gonna be bumpy. and at one point you're gonna want to put your hands up. it's not legal. but you are taking a picture, digital photo. $25 when you get off the ride. you can buy a picture of you enjoying the whole charlie sheen ride. do i know chucks real name? chaim levine, that's his real name. what's that? what's my real name? carlos estevez. [ speaks foreign language ] winning? [ laughter ] you know that computer watson on "jeopardy?" well, he's a pussy. well, he's a -- [ laughter ] i'm living with two goddesses. what's that computer watson living with? i feast on the bones of trolls. winning. again, another great example of how i'm winning and the computer watson is losing. [ whispers ] winning. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: some big tech news, you guys. the ipad 2 was unveiled today, and it features two cameras. yeah, it's

you might have to fight four or five dudes, you understand me?don't do it before we had all this mess that went down in colorado. and if i can recite the lyrics-- please, please. it says, ♪ kids, kids, don't do it. ♪ kids, kids, don't do it. ♪ i can't be your mama; i can't be your dad. ♪ ♪ but what you kids doin' is makin' me mad. ♪ ♪ you runnin' in the streets, and you runnin' loose. ♪ ♪ i wonder if there's something old diddley could do. ♪ ♪ you runnin' after something that you think is a rabbit. ♪ ♪ start to foolin' with drugs and end up with a habit. ♪ ♪ kids, kids, don't do it. don't do it. ♪ ♪ don't, don't, don't do it. ♪ last night somebody called on the phone, ♪ ♪ said little willie junior, he ain't coming home, ♪ ♪ he dead. say what? ♪ ♪ with a bullet in his head. ♪ now, if he had listened what his mama said, ♪ ♪ maybe he wouldn't have that bullet in his head. ♪ ♪ he's gone. ♪ he was doin' wrong when he should have been home. ♪ ♪ kids, kids, don't do it. don't do it. ♪ ♪ don't, don't, don't do it. ♪ somebody said willie doin' his thing.

generous dude.i'm actually going to go ahead and double that. [ light laughter ] i'm going to put $86 more to the pot. 20, 40, 60, 1, 62 -- [ light laughter ] as i said, $62 more to the pot. ♪ that is a total -- [ applause ] that is a total of $26,000 -- 43 -- $105 raised. [ scattered applause ] all of us did it. you guys, we're helping over 12,000 kids. i'm so excited. it's a great organization. thanks to everyone who donated. thank you so much for all of your help. you guys are awesome. [ cheers and applause ] i really, really appreciate it. it's a good thing. and the best part is that stephen colbert will be here on friday to sing the song "friday" with the roots. so set your tivos, you guys. this is going to be insane. [ applause ] so excited. have you guys been watching "american idol" this season? it's such a great show. it's really good this year. i love all of the contestants. there's one guy in particular that who's pretty interesting. his name is casey abrams. he's the guy who sang "smells

i'm a huge fan of this dude. very excited.the type of place where you go and you can really relax and, it's like, you can sing. they have a little band, a little bar area, piano bar. very, very relaxed. so, i would sing sinatra tunes, that type of thing. just on a whim. >> jimmy: live karaoke kind of thing? >> sort of. well, look, i probably sound r karao karaoke, but it's definitely just a nice very relaxing vibe. so i heard this guy was coming. he shows up and, you know, i gave him a tour of the place, walked him around. i was there for a long time. i was a little bit of a resid t resident. and he, i -- he gave me a tour of his boat, i was thrilled. i figured, yeah, very nice boat and i was thrilled. i thought, this is enough. i'm good. i went back to the beach, i chilled. i went to dinner at the one restaurant they have at this place in the evening and i sent them over a bottle of wine, you know, just to say thank you for the day and then he came over to say thank you for the wine and i had a cigar and i gave him the extra

i'll be looking at pictures of dudes. because they have celebrity look-alikes for sperm.ey don't, thank god. >> jimmy: oh well that would be perfect if you could get one that looks like you. >> yeah what i think -- i think i look like ben affleck a little bit so if i get his sperm donor. we'll do whatever it takes. i was paying $300 a month for some kind of storage in a lab. didn't know what it was. it was my sperm from 15 years ago. and it was still alive. and so we're using that. we're using that. >> jimmy: oh, you are? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you can do that 15 years? >> 15 years, it's still solid. >> jimmy: and somebody was -- it's frozen? >> frozen in a lab. >> jimmy: wow. so the baby will come out shivering? >> yes. >> jimmy: well, that's great news. >> that was a miracle, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah no kidding around. >> at this time next year we'll have a little baby. >> jimmy: well, i hope so. >> i'm very excited. >> jimmy: you can always adopt -- >> of course absolutely we'll adopt. whatever it takes. >> jimmy: yeah, oh yeah. and you don't have any kids right? >> no, it wil

new dudes are too soft and soggy. no good. should be nice and firm. slurp.... h hum... disgusting again. to soft a noodles. it's good for my -- it's hard to pick up a noodles without breaking them. ha, ha, do you use a fish cake? yes, really? really? i have been looking for it. [laughter]. but i cannot find any. i got one. oh , no wonder i could not find it it is so thin. i can see through to over there. [laughter]. that's okay. sometimes at the noodle shops you use sponge cake it's terrible. hum, hum, yes. this is real sponge cake. that's okay. that's okay. i am a [inaudible] person anyway. do i have to eat it all? slurp... hum, yuk. slurp, hum... disgusting. i'm almost done. [laughter]. slurp, slurp. i gave up eating noodles. thank you, thank you. >> sometimes notable authors come to main stage and do more than read passages from their work. they sit in a live conversation with a reporter, playwright discusses the relevancy of his work with one of his theatre critics. as part of the yearly 1 city one book event. fields questions from sm scott chauffeur. >> before writ

and others, spooky dude, and show you also another entirely new piece to the puzzle i think explainson. and shockingly, the journalists refuse to investigate. remember, the story line being sold to you right now is that after 40 years of dictatorial power, freedom fever, just burst out in the scene in egypt. everywhere else in the region. like libya. but let's go back and rewind the clock a little bit and see if we can put puzzle pieces together. we start in 2003. this young lady here. a little known journalist with u.s. news and world report, samantha power she writes a book. and many people called this anti-israel. she immediately wins a pulitzer prize. why is it called anti-israel? well, because she made statements that kind of sound that way. listen. >> investing in the new state of palestine, investing billions of dollars that would probably take also to support i think what will have to be a mammoth protection force. >> glenn: mammoth protection force, for the people in gaza and the palestinians against israel. but she wins her pulitzer and her career takes off and she lands a

awesome. [ cheers and applause ] he's a good dude. he's a funny guy. saw him backstage, i was like daaaaaamon wayans jr. we also have the one and only paul simon on the show! [ cheers and applause ] i saw him backstage i was like, hey, paul simon. [ laughter ] you're awesome. hey, did you guys see this? in a speech yesterday, president obama revealed that up until a few years ago, he was still paying off his student loans. yeah. in response, china was like, oh, so you do know how to repay loans. interesting. [ applause ] check this out. in an interview this week, star jones said that her last year on "the view" was miserable. star added, it wasn't because of any one person. the daily grind was just becoming too much of a hasselbeck. [ laughter ] hey, this is interesting. a new study found that families with two daughters are the happiest. [ cheers ] unless, of course, their dad currently has a 42% approval rating. so -- [ laughter ] this story is crazy. this -- this is amazing. archaeologists found evidence of a 5,000-year-old gay caveman. [ laughter ]

i saw him making out with a dude, yeah. yes, it's happening again. clemente jumped off a bring into the hudson river. >> his bullying of tyler led to tyler committing suicide. this indictment was the right thing. the indictment alleges robbie tried to cover up his action charging him with evidence tampering threating a twitter post and replacing it with a false one. in a statement clemente's parents said the indictment spells out cold and calculated acts. if robbie is convicted on the most serious bias charge he could face five to 10 years in prison. >>> something needed to be done. somebody had to step in. who's in financial control of the dodgers? >>> his function is to grow and sell. it's being recognized for something different. what happens when pot goes porsche. >>> they nearly lost everything in a landslide. now the city is offering to step in. why people are hesitant the sign on the dotted line. >>> showers on the way. it's taking over control of the l-a dodgers. old team >> major league baseball took a extraordinary step today. taking over c

something like that. >> jimmy: what's up, dude? >> and then you'd reverse him and end up like this.u. vanilla fudge performs next. stick around while i choke jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that's going to go right in your glove. ohhh. oh. see that? great job. ok, now let's get ready for the ball... here it comes... here you go. good catch. perfect! alright now for the best part. let's see your pour. ohhh...let's get those in the bowl. these are way too good to waste, right? oh, yea. let's go for it... around the bowl and... [ male announcer ] share what you love... with who you love. mmmmm. kellogg's frosted flakes... they're g-r-r-reat! good catch dad. [ laughs ] automatic dishwashing detergents and they rated finish quantum number one, beating the competition. and now take the finish challenge for yourself. if you don't see a difference, it's free. ♪ build your better breakfast at subway ♪ [ male announcer ] only subway lets you build your better breakfast with all the flavors you choose. start off with an irresistible steak, egg & cheese, then make it your own! try it wi

the one and only matt lauer is here. [ cheers and applause ] love that dude.m the hit show "icarly," the talented miranda cosgrove is joining us! [ cheers and applause ] my main man, host of bravo's "watch what happens live," andy cohen is here. [ cheers and applause ] love him. and since we started the show, i've been trying to book this band. they're one of my favorite bands of all time. i grew up listening to them. i love them. i can't get enough of them. the one and only, get your -- get your -- get your metal out, and get your -- get your heavy metal hair. get your -- put -- hold on to your pants because your pants are going to be blown completely off. [ laughter ] twisted sister is on tonight! [ cheers and applause ] they have the logo. they are the coolest. ah, just the greatest. ladies and gentlemen, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's topic, "a donald trump presidency." [ laughter ] that's right. he's lea

dude, look at those pants. please don't say that. what? don't say that something is gay when you mean that something is dumb or stupid. it's insulting. it's like if i thought this pepper shaker was stupid, and i said, "man, this pepper shaker is so 16-year-old boy with a cheesy mustache." just saying. >> i have 2 job titles. i'm manager of the tour program as well as i am the historyian of city hall. this building is multifaceted to say the very least it's a municipal building that operates the city and county of san francisco. this building was a dream that became a reality of a man by the name of james junior elected mayor of san francisco in 1912. he didn't have a city hall because it was destroyed in the earth wake of 1906. construction began in april of 1913. in december 1915, the building was complete. it opened it's doors in january 1916. >> it's a wonderful experience to come to a building built like this. the building is built as a palace. not for a king or queen. it's built for all people. this building is beautiful art. those ar

dude! i dropped my phone. oh, the road! whoa. yeah. you know what i'm saying. would you like to save your life from an ugly reckless driving death? don't answer yet, there's more! act now by slowing down and we'll guarantee you complete satisfaction! kids: that's awesome! announcer: in the real world... passenger: whoa, andy, slow down!

[ cheers and applause ] he's a good dude.from her "access hollywood" and the "today" show works. she also has a new book out called "the everygirl's guide to life," maria menounos is here! [ cheers and applause ] i love her too. and, as i said, a performance from the one, the only, booker t. jones. it's gonna be great. [ cheers and applause ] i cannot wait. it's gonna be fun. hey, a quick show of hands. who here is either a man or a woman? [ laughter ] very, very good. you know, a fascinating thing about men and women is that they don't always see eye to eye. in fact, sometimes they can be in the exact same situation and be thinking two totally different things. what kind of things are men and women thinking? let's find out together in a segment called "he said, she said." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: now, you guys may not realize this, but i have a real knack for telling what's on people's minds. i don't like to brag about it but i'm kind of psychic that way. like, for example, take a look at this. looks like this cou

dude, look at those pants. please don't say that. what? don't say that something is gay when you mean that something is dumb or stupid. it's insulting. it's like if i thought this pepper shaker was stupid, and i said, "man, this pepper shaker is

don't you just want to say, dude, don't do that? was, like, dude, don't that. but now -- david's so funny. he's a showman. he knows what he's doing. he's having fun. he loves doing the show. i'm a big howard fan. you know, he's got such a big heart. even if he says things like, wow. really? you told the whole world? it's all right. i don't know why. i just don't have any problem with it. >> because there's real love in his heart, and your heart, and the love for your daughter. to see you guys vacationing together and everything like that, it gives us a little glimpse. going, you know what? you're in a good place, in an odd way. >> we're in a really good place. we're the best we've ever been because we're being honest with each other. we have such huge amounts of affection for each other. we have cocoa. and we have memories. 15 years of memories. there's no point in spoiling that because we're kind of looking at ourselves. i think this is an important time. and he will always be my guy. you know? >> i know. he's your best friend, too

got you heated because i'm done with you and you know i'm on to the next dude.ove nobody, trust nobody, and most definitely near fear nobody. it's a cold game. play your part the you ain't even on topic. let's not speak about it. i do what i do and i does it with. i saw your mommas. i got me one and i call them daddy instead of papas. you ain't with it, you in the past. since i guess you have nice things well you whack and because of that aspect i never ever slacked. not the female you used to date. i got a unique type situation. i'm so glad these birds they just bloop me. i speak fluently. she busy with all that blah, blah, blah. hear me out though. i'm going to leave you stern. [applause] >> in an urban high school in the science laboratory lab, two girls are discussing their project. >> you don't even know what you are doing the -- doing. you're dumb. >> you test too much. >> the day has come. the projects are to be returned. >> see, i told you? mine was the best. i told you, dummy. besides, let me see what you guys have. >> you know, i'm leaving. after schoo

. >> and i also think people had say some things, like i saw this dude do such and such and i think we can solve some of the crimes. >> reporter: for the second time in two days oakland officials returned to the area this time for a town hall meeting to discuss violence. >> i brought out my deputy chiefs because i want them to hear from the residents. just like i come out andity t the mayor and i come out -- come out and the mayor and i come out, i wanted them to hear from the people. >> reporter: statistics showed things are improving. >> despite this high-profile crimes and despite the fact that i've had more murders this year, violent crime in down 4%. >> reporter: some are not convinced. >> crime is going down in some areas, but the reality is the armed robberies and the assaults on merchants and the robberies have kind of increased. >> reporter: the brother of the victim says the loss is devastating for his family. . >> painfully sad not only for the family but those who benefitted from campos' hard work. it's hope the reward will generate some calls to police. the tip lines were

. >> that wasn't funny, dude. >> not exactly what aflac executives learned in business school. more than 11,000 people auditioned online. hundreds more in person. doing their duck in a variety of moves. >> like you are crying through it. >> aflac. >> laugh if you want. for aflac, getting it right is no joke. >> by month's end, the company will pick a new voice. >> you want me to say aflac in figures. is this is great country or what? >> never dreamed i would be cracking for my living room. >> cbs news, atlanta. >>> you think the padres are ready for a rematch against the giants who stole the crown from them and went into a world series title? well they got their start tonight. start the clock. watch a ball game. all part of the san diego experience. madison had an early one-run lead, but struggled in the third. bases loaded, two outs. chase utley, three runs in three innings giants lose 3-1. josh willingham gone and taken the lead in the 10th inning, but it would end this way. with a runner on, escobar snapped a home run off of grant small. it's not really fall for, but 7- 6 to

. >> you see a dude like this, super hot?rter: the pair have joined forces not for the still in discussion "arrested development" movie but partners in a marketing company, where they and their dream think of the script and perform mini movies for the web that reinforce the brand's qualities. >> that's what you're going to end uppy. >> reporter: today, they are prepping a series of shorts they're doing for dennies. >> they said, we would like to feature the fact that we're always open in here and you can always have kind of a good conversation and a good meal. so, we thought, well, why don't we make a talk show? >> this is always open with dave. >> reporter: they're bringing in a host of special guests, from amy pohler -- >> you don't have a problem being touched? >>> didn't until you asked. >> reporter: to sarah silverman. all part of a talk show hosted by david keckner. >> do you have personal space issues? >> that's a violation right there. >> reporter: there are times, though, when edgy comedy and main stream business are

[ cheers and applause ] he's a great dude. [ applause ] such a nice guy. and talented actress, paula patton is dropping by! [ cheers and applause ] and if you like good music, you guys, we've got tim mcgraw is going to be here! [ cheers and applause ] tim mcgraw. he's a legend. hey guys, before we get started, i want to send a quick shout-out. i'm very lucky to be doing this again this year. this saturday, put it on your calendars, i'll be one of the hosts for the revlon run/walk for women right here in new york city. it starts in times square. [ applause ] we'll have thousands of people there to raise money for women's cancer research. you can still register online. it's not too late. so go to revlonrunwalk.org. donate some money or sign up and come meet us on saturday for a great cause. [ cheers and applause ] >> questlove: jimmy, jimmy. i didn't know you were doing shout outs. yo, can i do one? >> jimmy: yeah, you want to do a shout out? go ahead quest. >> questlove: absolutely. yeah. let me get some shout out music, please. ♪ all right. i want to get a