. >> steve: very nice dude. >> jimmy: very nice dude. a great actor, but super talented. is unbelievable, and he becomes his character, childish gambino. yeah. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: that's his whole thing. and if you don't know who childish gambino is, write it down. because you'll know who it is after you see him tonight. and you go -- yeah. and take a picture. a mental picture. i mean, like, this guy is going to blow -- he's going to blow. he's already -- he sold out, like, some crazy show last night. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: like 800 million people last night. [ laughter ] >> steve: i think it's 1800 -- yeah, 1800 million. >> jimmy: yeah, whatever. 1800 million. i didn't read the e-mail. [ light laughter ] but anyways -- but today is friday, and that's usually when i do catch up my stuff. you know, i check my inbox. you know, i -- i like to send out some thank you notes. so, i was wondering if you guys don't mind -- [ cheers and applause ] -- i'd like to write out a few thank you notes. is that okay? can i write out a few thank you notes? [ cheers and applause ] th

>> i don't know. >> come on, dude. guess. give me your best educated guess. >> they didn't want me to see the game? >> that wasn't a good guess. that wasn't a good guess. >> no? >> no. >> you're here for threats on another inmate, or actual assault on another inmate. how much did you have to do with that? or did you have anything to do with him? >> i had a little bit to do with him. i just told him, hey, put that in your house and everything's going to be good. >> so you told him to hold the hooch? >> yeah. >> you didn't threaten him, beat him up? >> no, he was all for it. he was like, i'm going to get to drink? i was like, yeah, and he was good to go. i didn't have to threaten him at all. that old dude, i'm not going to hit him. >> why did he get so scared? >> i'm not sure. >> well, you know what, we've had pretty good salmon out here with these s.o.s and haven't had a lot of trouble out of you guys. i don't want it to start. >> i didn't know he was an s.o. until he brought it up. because everybody was kicking it with him. e

we love this dude.now him from "saturday night live" and "30 rock" and a bunch of funny movies. he's a talented, hilarious guy. tracy morgan is in the house. [ cheers and applause ] plus, we have stand up comedy from one of my favorite comedians out there, in the world. pablo francisco will be on here! [ cheers and applause ] that dude is so funny, man. and check this out, you guys, the great mario batali is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is backstage, right now, prepping dinner. let's say hello. mario batali, everybody. what are we doing? what's up, my man? what's happening, my man? what's happening, my dude? ♪ mario, we're having a dinner party. everything you're making is from the cookbook, here, "molto batali." it's a fantastic cookbook. what are we doing tonight? >> today we're making four courses, for you and the band. >> jimmy: yeah, that's what i'm talking about. >> we are doing a little spaghetti with crab. we're talking about what seasonal deliciousness is and the simplest way to pre

will be dudes.ch is why i know you're going to love this video and i'm not sure what you guys are going to think about it a couple of guys from the youth marketing firm, arch rival which is based in lincoln, nebraska this guy says, hey, i'll let you drop that exacto knife above my hand with my spread fingers out. >> you place your hand down, spread like this we'll drop it at the desired height. >> this guy goes, cool. i'll pay you $2 for every foot thaw let me drop this exacto knife from. >> i feel confident, i feel pretty good. for $6. >> that's din gibson. he confident. >> this man who is dropping the exacto knife is a marketing guy? he's not like some circus knife-thrower? >> he's going to pay him $2, duh? >> three, two, one, go. >> oh! >> that almost sliced his webbing. >> almost, but it didn't. >> i think it's cool. i know what you're thinking in your head right now is just why. why, why, why? so we have dan and kyle from arch rival joining us via skype. i got to first ask all this for $6? >> y

"dude, i need to change my pants."can i sit? 'cause my knees are shaking." [ as eastwood ] >> jimmy: "sit wherever you want." >> yes. so he comes into the room and he's like -- and he never planned out anything. never rehearsed anything. but for the fight scene, specifically, he was there and his buddy -- buddy van horn was there, who he's been with since "rawhide," like back in, like, the '50s. >> jimmy: wow. >> so, he's got these two like, octogenarians, and clint walks in and we're like, "well, what do you want?" he's like, "well, you know, i was thinking you two would, you know, sort of come to the middle of the room and then, buddy, and then, you know, just stand there and then you -- wham! wham! wham!" [ laughter ] and like, he starts beating the crap out of buddy van horn. [ laughter ] and these two guys are rolling around on the ground. there's broken glass everywhere. [ laughter ] then clint stands up, like off the ground, dusts himself off and just goes -- [ as eastwood ] "something like that." [ laughter ]

the dudes that get beat up and the dudes that get stabbed are dudes that rape little kids. >> comingp -- >> i told you it was going to happen, and it happened. >> timothy schreiber claims he's been attacked. but staff are skeptical. >> looks pretty self-inflicted to me. >> self-inflicted, yeah. what are you, from the planet mars? on small business saturday. one purchase. one purchase is all it takes. so, pick your favorite local business... and join the movement. i pledge to shop small at big top candy shop. allen's boots... at juno baby store. make the pledge to shop small. please. shop small on small business saturday. and these come together, one thing you can depend on is that these will come together. delicious and wholesome. some combinations were just meant to be. tomato soup from campbell's. it's amazing what soup can do. haou ofeisier ] f ovupmyat tomato soup from campbell's. ue ar [ ] r ne brngal somebody didn't book with travelocity, with 24/7 customer support to help move them to the pool daddy promised! look at me, i'm swimming! somebody, get her a pony! [ female announc

he's a funny dude.my favorite young actresses out there right now, she's starring in the new 3-d movie "hugo." chloe grace moretz is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] she's talented. she's a goodie. plus, b.o.b will be performing for us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] oh, yeah. it's a big show. thanks for tuning in. you guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ [ applause ] tonight, we'll be taking a looking at the pros and cons of thanksgiving. it's two days away, everyone's going to be getting together at the table with their family, eating, drinking, talking to each other. that always ends well. [ laughter ] so let's take a look at the pros and cons of thanksgiving. here we go. pro -- before the meal is a time to give thanks. con -- after the meal is a time to wear spanx. [ laughter ] you got to do what you got to do. >> steve: that could be a new mne

he is a smart dude, a handsome dude, but he is a dark. he is a dork and show it. i don't know what is going on in massachusetts, but -- >> what is wrong with being square. obama was elected because he was hip, right 1234* look where that got us. >> we need a man of the people, who knows anger and knows the taste of whisky and the foul odor of a -- i don't know, dead body? >> the foul odor of a dead body. so what you are saying is you want trump to run? i don't even know what that means. bill, you have never had a drink of anything nonalcoholic. >> obama is not admitting to do anything short of heroin. talk about a candidate americans can identify with. seriously talk about it because we are not doing it now. >>> do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at red eye at fox news .com. and to leave a voicemail it is 212-dash we haven't theyked those in ages. i guess i should start listening to them. i was busy with the other show jie. oh, the other show. >> i made new friends, pab. >> we do all sorts of things. we are going to dinner. >> i wish i could afford dinne

i saw someone wearing a dress so high i could see the dude's penis. -- >> jimmy: thank you. >> so good with that. >> jimmy: tim allen, everybody. "last man standing," tuesdays at 8:00 here on abc. we'll be right back with jackson rathbone. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] house party. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] temptation. [ female announcer ] i'll have the yellow tail, i'll have the yellow tail. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] joker's wild. [ female announcer ] i just love that kangaroo. go-to... [ male announcer ] girl's night in. [ female announcer ] never the wrong time, for the right wine. [ male announcer ] yellow tail. the go-to. it's here! it's here! tittering nervously] cool! get 5% cash back... at department stores now high five!! alright! activate your 5% cash back at chase.com/freedom ogps's, dolls, dvd's. i'm soe excited i haven't slept in days. literally days! starts friday morning at midnight. affect over one million homes each year. without regular maintenance, septic tanks c

before that, he was with the dude who got whacked.. yeah. a latino dude, a young guy. came to the club all the time with two friends. that day he was wearing a soccer jersey and a lot of jewelry. and a lot of jewelry. so ignacio. he played both of his friends and philbrick and marius? and if he's killing witnesses... ...he's got one left. philbrick's heading towards his car. i've got philbrick. suspect's acquired. he's moving in. where is he? he's on the other side of the car. he's tracking philbrick. i got him. mr. philbrick? if you have a second, can i talk to you on my calculus grade? this is not a good time, karen. but i really need... karen, please walk away now! you guys, move, move! keep your hands where i can see 'em. make a move for that gun and you're dead. you set me up. colby: yeah, just like you set up your friends. and then you were going to kill him. up to your knees. put your hands behind your head slow. why? why? why not? you told us the money was there, remember? all we had to do was take it. if yuri and jason hadn't

. >> that frustrates these dudes. there is not a man that i know that wakes up and don't have an erection in the morning time. that's what happens. we are dealing with reality. when a man wakes up. first thing that comes to the man's mind, damn, i miss my wife. >> but behind bars, sex can be a combustible concoction of desperation, homophobia and predatory behavior. especially at prisons as notorious as california's pelican bay. >> this is the last place they need to be sending a flam buoyant homosexual, is pelican bay. >> adolph green was on the pelican bay yard when our producer noticed him and asked for an impromptu interview. >> i'm a flamboyant homosexual. and we call each other girls. you understand. some of the dudes call you girl, call me girl this and that. then you have those that smile in your face and laugh at you behind your back. you walk around the track, somebody say look at that punk, that [ bleep ], a bunch of disrespect day in and day out. >> green told us that those who are open about their sexuali

i would have them sit in mediation, and those dudes already look mean. the parents would say who is the mean-looking dude. that is someone the d.a. sent up because they are going to start prosecuting. by putting the infrared spotlight of our public safety and law enforcement on that issue, we were then able to find out exactly what was going on. we then learned, for example, of a woman who was by herself, raising her three children, holding down two jobs and homeless. true story. so by asking the question and bringing her in, we then put access and helped her ack services that already exist. and that was the point of the initiative. to this day not one parent has been jailed. but we have prosecuted a couple of the cases, which means basically it is an infraction. but hundreds and hundreds of students have benefited. so i would suggest there are many different ways at which we can focus on this issue that you are meeting about today. what we can do to focus on gang crime at its worst is by rolling it back and looking at predictors and how we can intervene

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i saw someone wearing a dress so high i could see the dude's penis.jimmy: tim allen, everybody. "last man standing," tuesdays at 8:00 here on abc. we'll be right back with jackson rathbone. 's's's's's's's's's's'ss new stuffed rigatonis, starting at just $9.95. hearty pasta, stuffed with a blend of italian cheeses. for just $9.95, try them with grilled sausage in tomato alfredo. or for just $11.95, try them with chicken in a garlic alfredo. at olive garden. and it's your fault. instead of blaming me try advil congestion relief. often the real problem is swelling, not mucus. advil congestion relief reduces swelling due to nasal inflammation. so i can breathe. [ mucus ] advil congestion relief. take toast. spread with i can't believe it's not butter! add jacques. he's french. oui. ♪ mmmm. oui like. [ male announcer ] i can't believe it's not butter! has irresistible fresh butter taste with 70% less saturated fat than butter. [ kim ] you can have it all. [ male announcer ] i can't believe it's not butter! ♪ ♪ it's just how i want to do it ♪ ♪ changing of

mike white is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] he's a funny dude. talented dude.lso the president of nintendo america, reggie fils-aime is here! [ cheers and applause ] we'll take a sneak peek at "legend of zelda: skyward sword." oh, my god! [ cheers and applause ] so excited about that. >> steve: you love that game. >> jimmy: that's my favorite video game of all time, "legend of zelda." >> steve: you love it. >> jimmy: and this is the new one. i might weep when i play this one. [ light laughter ] >> steve: i know. >> jimmy: i might cry tonight. >> steve: i think you're going to cry as you're playing it. i'm going to get towels on the floor just in case. >> jimmy: i might cry when r-patz gets out here. >> steve: well, no. i know that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love him so much! this guy -- we got some great music for you guys. this guy is, like -- i would say he's like the justin bieber of country music. i'm just saying it. i don't know. you got to see him. he's, like, a young kid, super talented, all the girls love him, and he plays all the instruments

i don't even know the dude. i don't care about him. you know?re about somebody that don't be there for you. i'll holler at you tomorrow. >> all right. i love you, man. >> i love you, too, dog. >>> up next, how solitary confinement may assure one inmate his freedom. >> i don't want nobody else on the yard that's not going home this decade to screw my time up. look, every day we're using more and more energy. . where's it going to come from? ♪ that's why right here, in australia, chevron is building one of the biggest natural gas projects in the world. enough power for a city the size of singapore for 50 years. what's it going to do to the planet? natural gas is the cleanest conventional fuel there is. we've got to be smart about this. it's a smart way to go. ♪ congratulations. congratulations. today, the city of charlotte can use verizon technology to inspire businesses to conserve energy and monitor costs. making communities greener... congratulations. ... and buildings as valuable to the bottom line... whoa ! ... as the people inside them. cong

. >> it's a young dude thing to say if you've got a kid, i can't date you.a dragon, pitbulls, it's going to be a dude coming to check on you because you're in the house and lonely. >> your baby is 5 months old. right now she needs to focus on being the mother of a young child. someone not responsible to handle you being with a child. >> when did you grow up? >> look at rick. >> what do you think, joe? >> i think she is 25. she is not going to find a 25-year-old guy right now who will take on that responsibility. she can find a good guy who is a little older, a little more confident in himself and more ready to move on with his life and take on a family. >> i have friends that have gotten together because somebody fell in love with the child. >> remember the renee zellweger movie with tom cruise? >> i'm with melissa from charlotte, north carolina. she has a question about having dude friends. >> i was wondering if men can truly be comfortable with their women having platonic male friends and if it was before or after their relationship? >> we can be comfortab

two black dudes and two white chicks. you know?ght, well, i'll keep waiting here till they come back. there was a mound of dirt there, so i was concealed, tall grass and everything, you know? >> salt lake city had been used to dealing with a number of very violent crimes. there was tremendous experience in the department, but this was a very different kind of offender. >> although franklin has killed his intended targets, the crime is sloppy. >> we did find some tire tread marks in the field where the shell casings were found. they were a prototype tire and they were only sold in a limited amount of states but every one of those states were east of the mississippi river. they had to be from somewhere back east. >> it's not long before witnesses come forward and describe seeing a dark-colored camaro parked in the field near the sniper's position. >> we found a man who was walking by about a week later and he actually saw the camaro and he gave us a very good description of the car. >> soon, a local prostitute confirms she's done bus

and these dudes -- air supply -- come backstage.heard it's your birthday" and gave me an awesome cd player, like a boom box. [ laughter ] i don't know these guys. i mean, i know them but i don't know them like -- i almost started crying. i'm like i'm a struggling comedian. i have no money. i'm like, "this is like buying me a house." i mean, it's like -- [ laughter ] "what? i can't believe air supply just came and gave me a birthday present." >> steve: aww. >> jimmy: so, i never forgot that. i love these guys. pick up all their records. air supply, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] they're on the show tonight. love them. never forgot that story. the nicest guys in the world. and this is going to hit some home runs tonight. guys -- are you psyched to be here? i mean, this is awesome. [ cheers and applause ] do you feel the vibe? it's the vibes in the building. as many of you know, we do our show from the historic studio 6b, here in 30 rockefeller plaza. and over the years, this studio has been used for tons of different shows. everyth

the other dude, the dude that actually threatened him with a knife, he bolted. >> we want normalcy in our life. we want to have a house and kids and jobs and like normal day-to-day things and i feel like that can never happen now. that can never happen now. that's gone. and we had so many chances to make it right and we didn't. i really hate myself for that. like i hate myself. i hate who i am. i love him so much and like, this whole time i've been preparing myself for if he did go to prison, i could wait three years, i could wait five years, i could do that, you know? >> but if they're convicted, styx will still to have deal with her own prison sentence. a reality kelly mcnaughton is quick to point out. >> i'm the legal defender for everybody. i'm telling her exactly what she's looking at. your first time is a felony two? >> yeah. felony two. presumptive is five years. minimum is four, maxes ten. you'll to five years. >> i'm not doing five years. i'm not doing none of that. >> okay. well -- >> i've never been in trouble before! >> doesn't matter. >> i got no priors! >> no? i thought

. >> well, i just want everybody to know i don't think you look like a nas nascar dude. you look like a stock boy dude at office depot. joe, the nascar people are closed minded. i agree with you that it wasn't about a military -- it wasn't a big military comment that was being made there. it was divided politics going on. what is it that jill biden has done that is so offensive to these people? that's like yelling at the guy who runs the white house gift shop, right? >> you lost me halfway through the explanation. i have been waiting to call you lou castello tie all this time, and now is my chance to do it. >> it is 3:00 a.m. in the morning eastern time. we are a little tired. >> are you really not surprised -- courtney, are you surprised they had such hate for both -- or at least anger toward these two women? >> are we still on occupy wall street? >> do you want to go home now? did anybody tell you there was a full show that didn't end after the b block? >> let me jump in here. again, if you listen to the video, it is clearly 75,000 people there. that was nowhere near 7

happy halloween, dude. and how much does texas governor rick perry love him some maple syrup? a lot much, that's how much. and finally, the tsa employee who left a note saying, get your freak on, girl, in the lug -- luggage gets a note of their own saying, get your things and leave on. >> thank you, andy. >> happy phaim. it is a magical inter grail when time and space are suspended and the thin veil on the world is lifted. >> sounds stupid. >> it is not stupid. it marks the end of the final harvest. >> who cares? >> it is a night of magic and chaos. >> i do like magic and chaos. >> you can build huge, sacred bonfires and they sacrifices animals to celebrate in the festival. >> i do like bonfires and food and sacrificing animals i would eat with friends and family. >> and it is a night when the wee folk like you became active. >> now you are being a jerk. >> i hope you don't make it back here. >>> let's welcome our guests. i am here with gavin mcginnis. he is a writer and a magician. and she is so hot her chair is a trivet. ann coulter. her latest book is called "demonic" a boo

that is one handsome dude. >> i know. i know exactly what you're talking about.mber four. >> i had a five-hour energy drink six hours before the debate. >> oh, no. number two. >> yeah. i wanted to help take the heat off my buddy herman cain. >> okay. and the number one rick perry excuse -- >> i just learned justin bieber is my father. >> oh, my god! >> i guess you just have to laugh about it. >>> well, this morning on "the early show," why more baby boomers are still working by choice. i'm betty nguyen. this is "the cbs morning news." this is "the cbs morning news." ♪ [ female announcer ] find yourself sometimes cleaning up after your dishcloth? bounty extra soft can help. it's super durable, and in this lab test bounty extra soft leaves this surface three times cleaner than a dishcloth. even with just one sheet. super clean. super soft. have you tried this yet? save on bounty extra soft and other products at pgtryit.com. me to stock up! extra soft and other products sears big veterans day sale is this friday and saturday. get a samsung washer or dryer just $799

you have a vein popping out, dude. your brain. he's gone. you ready? >> i've been ready. >> don't depend on others. that's how i made it 26 years. i don't depend on nobody. a lot of these cats might seem cool but they ain't cool. >> there's a lot of jomos and homos too. and you peepee men on here. peter predators. if you have questions or someone wants to run his mouth don't jump out there like a fool and end up with your ass on lockup. let us know and we'll take it to them ourselves. do it the hard way or the easy way. they'll go the easy way. >> i appreciate it. >> on one condition, quit beating my ass in handball. let a [ bleep ] win sometimes. >> ball. >> supposed to being the master teaching the grasshopper and now i'm the larva now. what is the hell with that? >> it's easy to fall into trouble. people will say something smart. on the street i would be so messed up there would be no thinking about it. i would just blow and someone would get hurt. you can't do that. that's not normal. you have to control himself. >> he's young. he's got a long ways

>> he can't enjoy the ride. >>> the dudes from dude perfect, trick shot masters are back.his time taking it to a pond. they're getting things ready by building a basketball hoop on some little floating dock this time they brought some friends along. ♪ >> oh! >> yeah. they're the originators of the basketball trick shot. >> this time, they've hooked up the basketball to a gigantic fishing pole. >> a super-long fishing pole shot. >> whoa! he nails that! thee points. >> oh! >> totally nailed it. here's the guy trying to reel the ball back in. he had to go back up through the hoop again. i have to say the harlem globeto theers involvement in the video is a bit much. the one guy is standing there spinning the ball. >> the super-long fishing pole shot. >> do they shoot the basket? >> they give it a try. >> see ya! >> oh! >> he cleared it. >> i heard something snap. >> he didn't do a back-cast straightforward. he did the flyfishing sidecast. >> see ya! >> he's just so much bigger than the rest of the guys and way stronger. they probably didn't take that into account. >>> don't be