. ♪ sube y baja tú nunca lo dudes ♪. ♪ no lo dudes, que aunque tú subes ♪. ♪ todo lo que sube y sube,, down . ♪ todo lo que sube y baja, todo lo que sube ♪. ♪ one, two, three . ♪. ♪ lo e sube ha de bajar . ♪ mucho más cuao es hecho . ♪ con maldad planificando lastimar ♪. ♪ tú mupronto aprendes . ♪ que algún día llegará . ♪ tu tiempo yo veraz . ♪todo lo que sube . ♪ y sube, y baja . ♪ la lluvia en las nubes . ♪ sube y baja tu nunca lo dudes ♪. ♪ no lo dudes, que aunque tu subes ♪. ♪ todo lo que sube y sube, y baja ♪. ♪ la lluvia en las nubes . ♪sube y baja . ♪ tu nunca lo dudes . ♪ que aunque subes . ♪ pronto caerás al suelo . ♪ al suelo . ♪ todo lo que sube . ♪ y como due . (aplausos). >> todo lo que sube, baja, ese aplauses para olga tañón. (aplausos). >> como les comentabantes, hay oportunidad para alguien que le quiera decir algo a su mamá, ¿a alguien que le quiera decirle algo a su mamá? que, a ver, póngase de pie, usted quiere seguramente, decirle a su mamá algo por toda la protección que le ha dado. >> sí, don francisco, esta noche yo qere saludar a mi madre y decirle pues, que

. >> dude what the [ bleep ]. are you serious? who opened them, dude?now meet the pranker and the prankee. >> i lost it there. i didn't know i was on video. >>> beth, you're going to need two hankies for this because this is a two-hankies father return homes video. >> bailey paige, 6 years old describing the things she loves on the poster board including a pick chesh of her daddy. >> and who's this, bailey? >> that's daddy. >> and do you love your daddy? guess what, bailey? turn around. >> dad! >> aren't you glad i gave yous hankies? >> it's the dad's reaction that's so cute. he just can't let her go. >> i missed you. >> i missed you, too. >> how did you make it here, dad? how did you of make it? >> i had to. happy birthday. >> ah. that's my only birthday present i wanted is you. >> oh. >> he's been in the army for seven years, and most recently he was in afghanistan, and this will be the first time since bailey was born that he'll be able to live with his family. >> wow. >> yeah. so, adam paige, thank you for your service, and how cute was that? just r

dude, you are the sun.shades. [ light laughter ] doesn't make any sense. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: he's a good dude. >> steve: he's a cool guy. like a raisin, california raisin. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, ikea on the weekends, or as i like to call you, the husband and wife fighting store. [ laughter ] honey, i don't care if you get the floogin' or the gloogin', i don't care. well then get two blurrs, i don't give a damn. thank you, people who make a wish by throwing coins into the fountain. i hope your wish was for the malls janitor to have plenty of beer money. [ laughter ] i think i might go for an import tonight. >> steve: hold on man, i'm going to go by an orange julius at the food court and spike it with some vodka. >> jimmy: wait, i'm sorry man, i over heard you. i was over here by the fountain. you going to orange julius? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: you want to spike it with some "v"? >> steve: yep. some big "v." can i get you one? >> jimmy: i'd love to get one. can you stop by aunt annie pretzels and get

if you killed him, what are you going to get, dude? >> life. >> a life bit. you're stupid, dude.ur head, you're going to lose the rest of your life right here. you're still a kid, dude. but you turn around and be my age and not even know it. look at me. 43 now, man. what are you doing? i've done done. i've been through it. done it. lockup, stabbings, fightings, being tough. you don't have to be tough, man. i'm about to get ahold of you, boy. i'd whip you just for that reason and i'd try to knock your teeth out just because i care about you, boy. just to wake you up. not to hurt you. you got a head. you can't really tell you me you're stupid, you know, because you're not. you know how i do it. i don't know about you, boy. you hurt my feelings. i can tell you that. you let me down. of all the people, i thought you were going to come through. you better wake up, josh. no matter how much i care about you, if you got to learn the hard way, you're going to do that on your own, man. if you get into this anymore, i'm for real done, man. >> you got anything down there? >> what do you need

the other little dude grabbed on to me again. kind of shrugged him off. >> a new arrival raises serious concerns. >> he is a predatory inmate. he has the a history of that outside of prison and inside of prison. >> we can all get through this. we have not lost anybody yet. >> young cadets experience the burn as each one takes a pepper spray shot in the eye. >> is it that bad? >> hell yes. >> you can do it. you can do it! >>> just east of pensacola, in the florida panhandle, is 84 acres of some of the most dangerous land in the state. this is the santa rosa correctional institution, a maximum security prison with more than 2,800 inmates. >> roll out. i have over 200 inmates that are serving life sentences, and i have over 200 inmates that are serving 25-year mandatory senses. our population here at santa rosa consists of inmates that are violation of probation to drug charges to burglary to rape or murder. just coming to work, the correctional officers in an institution put themselves in danger every day. >> back out, kneel down.

the cop is in jeans, a leather jacket and band and a weird dude in a polar suit comes out of the car. no way. >> usually these videos go on and on and on. >> what more do you want, fabian, a guy in a polar bear suit slammed against a car. >> i want to see him booked. >> there's no audio but you've got to believe the cop said, "freeze." >> he could be on his way to a furry convention. >> his birthday party. >> you think you know what's going on in this video, let us know at facebook.com/"right this minute." >>> what i'm about to show you is difficult and hard to wash. this is dardo, a stray dog in argentina. he has been injured after a firework exploded in his mouth. >> oh, no. >> did somebody put it in his mouth or did he run and grab it thinking it was a toy or something? >> that is the controversy around this case. this happened during an event for middle school students there because it was the end of the year. two girls lit a firework and that's where the controversy is. whether the dog took the firework after they had thrown it or whether they actually put it in his mouth, a judg

to another and dude is dead in the woods, stabbed 21 times.lowski says he is not guilty of murder but admits to violence behind bars. he was brought to santa rosa's close management unit after he assaulted an inmate another pris prison. >> my biggest challenge is dealing with inmates as well as officers that run their mouth a lot. it gets me angry. but i don't like to show my anger the i have been trying to work on it. through meditation and, seeking other things. but it is hard. kind of hard. can't be a sheep among wolves, you know what i'm saying. >> kozlowski decided instead to be a wolf in sheep's clothing especially when it comes to new inmates. >> you get new people in prison, they're kind of scared. so send your home boy, to step down on him. what you do is you intervene. and he is all right. leave him alone. so now he owes you. he feels gratitude towards you. so suddenly you put him in debt to you. so when he gets money, at the can teen window, initially if you do it right you don't ask nothing. >> kozlowski says the inmate will volunt

damsel's a dude. >> we dare you to look away from this one. >> it's a train wreck. right? and you're just glued. >> remember venus angelic? a lot's happened since she debuted on our show. >> have you gotten additional offers for maybe your own tv show? >> yes. >> how life as living doll is paying off. >> and -- >> this guy find an interesting vise one day while working from home. >> see what that noise at the window was all about. >> i wanted to go check what it was, and it's -- >> oh! [ laughter ] >> oh. >>> we begin our countdown with our number ten video and steven has it. >> when adventurers climb mount everest they're dealing with quite a bit of elements, but how about chest pains and difficulty breathing? look at this individual grow "national geographic" magazine. that's exactly what happened to climber and photographer cory richards, on assignment for "national geographic" magazine near the west shoulder of mount everest with his expedition crew when he started having chest pains. >> i'm really, like, overtly concerned about -- >> shortness of breath. >> i can't br

they supported that dude, and we support dave matthews. everybody is like, dave matthews is rocking. i'm like, yeah, he is rocking all right. >> sherrod, as always thank you for your psa against stereo types. >> i don't pick black people. there are three. >> and they are all on stage. >> come on, this is america. >> not dave matthews. >> isn't dave matthews south african or something? >> most of his band is. he is probably from jersey. like everybody else. >> he is south african. >> you have to let by gones be by gones. >> i didn't mean that, he 1* not american. >> andy is fully supportive of aparteid. >> i am studying the situation. >> he is evolving. >> i am studying your pamphlets. >> shy bladder syndrome. you said this is a person with disabilities. you don't under. >> maybe i don't. 7% of the population deals with this. >> i don't have it anymore. thank you, alcohol. >> we are doing some great psa work. >> it is true. all you have to do is prescribe alcohol. >> drinking problem from any other problem. >> sherrod, you said you get this

>> last video -- dude on motorcycle versus deer. >> oh, man. >> oh! >> oh, man!>> looks like he's in shorts and a short sleeve shirt. >> that really shows you the impact of a hit like that. >> his foot i think is broken. >> help! help! help me! please! >> i think he needs help. >> panic and shock. too real. >> it just got re fast. >> before you cut me off, i want to give props to the cameraman. >> check it out! >> later, dude. >>> you've probably had a trainer that pushed you really, really hard. i think none of them have been quite like boxing trainer eric kelly. >> just like all the nerves just had a convention on your body. all the nerve in the world saying, i know when to go. >> eric was a four-time u.s. amateur boxing champion, but suffered an injury when he took a pool cue to the left eye, ended his boxing career. now he is training people at church street boxing gym in new york, new york. this video is from animalnewnew york.com. >> he needs to go to the church on church street and worry about his potty mouth. >> [ bleep ]. >> this is frustrating. these gu

and -- >> they say that dude threatened my young brother, and i got upset.ne thing led to another, and the dude's dead in the woods, stabbed 21 times. >> a convicted murderer breaks ⌜ )93g >>> only the strong survive. survival of the fittest. that's why i work out physically and mentally. says survivor, the act of remaining alive. that's the definition from webster. survival, to me, is much more than simply trying to sustain this life through breathing and thinking. one must fight every day not to be forced by social pressures to live under false pretenses. survival is the act of keeping one's identity alive, not being conformed to what your environment wants you to be. >> i want that ball, i want that ball! >> back, back. >> florida's santa rosa correctional institution is a maximum security prison housing many of state's most violent inmates. >> come here and cuff up! >> inmates considered a threat to security are housed in a special confinement unit called close management. >> basically, the worst of the worst offenders we have here at santa rosa, t

." >> one guy is jumped by three dudes who take turns beating and -- >> just stomping on the guy's head. >> why did this even begin? >> turns out there is a twist to who started it. >>> a race car driver loses control but -- what almost killed him may surprise you. >> see what knocked the driver unconscious and why rescuers couldn't get him out. >>> the family pet is out on the family boat. >> having a good, old, jolly time. >> not for long. >> why. >> old tess might go -- >>> the arm wresting video to make you go -- >> ouch, ouch, ouch. >> pretty clear why when you see and here it. >> i don't even want to look at it. >>> steven is starting things off for us today with our first video and the story behind it. >> an altercation on the street in san diego got really scary really fast. we found this video on youtube after a recent padres and dodgers game. you see a man shirtless wearing what looks like trunks or maybe his underwear getting into it with a group of three guys. these three men are trying to walk away. things take an ugly turn. >> the man in the shorts persists and eventually

. >> because now she's adding dudes. calling them butlers. >> find out what a topless man could do around your house. >>> what's it like inside the new formula 1 car? a driver reveals the secret seating position. >> so his feet are up by his shoulders. >> imagine going 200 miles an hour like that. >>> and a parking garage becomes home to a fox and her kits. look how many. see the mama with a lot of mouths to feed. >> it's like a clown car. they just keep coming out of the woodwork here. >>> a traffic cam in aurora, colorado. we got this footage from "the denver post." this traffic cam is at a busy intersection. and pay close attention to the color of the light. at the top of your screen. >> red. >> watch what happens. >> everybody sees it. >> that's what i'm afraid of on my motorcycle. >> i knew that this would particularly have an impact on you. let's watch this again. >> he had no chance. >> according to police, they say the light was red for at least nine seconds before this driver plowed through it. the driver of thi

and -- >> they say that dude threatened my young brother, and i got upset.ne thing led to another, and the dude's dead in the woods, stabbed 21 times. >> a convicted murderer breaks down a prison extortion scheme. ...and support they need? schools flourish and students blossom. that's why programs like... ...the mickelson exxonmobil teachers academy... ...and astronaut sally ride's science academy are helping our educators improve student success in math and science. let's shoot for the stars. let's invest in our teachers and inspire our students. let's solve this. olaf's pizza palace gets the most rewards of any small business credit card! pizza!!!!! [ garth ] olaf's small business earns 2% cash back on every purchase, every day! put it on my spark card! [ high-pitched ] nice doin' business with you! [ garth ] why settle for less? great businesses deserve the most rewards! awesome!!! [ male announcer ] the spark business card from capital one. choose unlimited rewards with 2% cash back or double miles on every purchase, every day! what's in your wallet? or

it's just a dude hanging out. >> steve: just a dude mellowing out. >> jimmy: he's just mellowed out.he's about to put on a cd, listen to his 5.1 stereo surround sound. >> steve: right. with accu track. >> jimmy: with -- what's that? >> steve: accu track. >> jimmy: he's got accu track forecast. and he's on his -- rug. and he's got his electronic fireplace in the background. >> steve: and he turned it on with one hand. >> jimmy: he clicked it on with his remote. tv starts playing. ♪ no, fred, fred, no. [ laughter ] tv starts playing. pants get blown off. [ laughter ] that's what happens. poor guy. >> steve: that's 'cause he's listening to the album. he's listening to that album. >> jimmy: it is so good. i told, everybody, paul mccartney is on the darn thing. [ cheers and applause ] it's all remixed and re-mastered for the audio. you can preordered right now on itunes or at blowyourpantsoff.com. [ cheers and applause ] that's not a joke. like you haven't been on that website. [ applause ] you guys, tonight we have some of my favorite people. he is just the best. he's a manly man. this d

dude you don't understand, this is my dad's car. look at the car! my dad's gonna kill me dude... [ male announcer ] the security of a 2012 iihs top safety pick. the volkswagen passat. that's the power of german engineering. right now lease the 2012 passat for $209 a month. with the bankamericard cash rewards credit card, we earn more cash back for the things we buy most. 1% cash back everywhere, every time. 2% on groceries. 3% on gas. automatically. no hoops to jump through. no annual fee. that's 1% back on... wow! 2% on my homemade lasagna. 3% back on [ friends ] road trip!!!!!!!!!!!! [ male announcer ] get 1-2-3 percent cash back. apply online or at a bank of america near you. ♪ >> margaret just said she loved this song. it's from dr. sanjay gupta's playlist. he introduces us to one who has never given up even under the most difficult circumstances. >> in 2004, they couldn't have been more proud. he was coming to america to purdue university to complete his degree in computer engineering. just a month from graduation, however, his life changed for

dude you don't understand, this is my dad's car. look at the car! my dad's gonna kill me dude... [ male announcer ] the security of a 2012 iihs top safety pick. the volkswagen passat. that's the power of german engineering. right now lease the 2012 passat for $209 a month. >>> the interview tonight, coming up, michael moore. standby. [ female announcer ] letting her home be turned into a training facility? ♪ this olympian's mom has been doing it for years. she's got bounty. in this lab demo, one sheet of new bounty leaves this surface cleaner than two sheets of the leading ordinary brand. bounty has trap and lock technology to soak up big spills and lock them in. let the spills begin. p&g. proud sponsor of the olympic games. [ male announcer ] american innovation. 29 years ago, it helped us invent the minivan. ♪ today dodge grand caravan is the most awarded minivan ever. ♪ who knows where innovation can take us next? ♪ directions to the moon. ♪ >>> happy friday. i'm so glad it's friday. i'm pretty sure this that been the gayest week in mitt romney's

dude, lupa in hong kong. come on. you're global, my man. >> what do you think? >> jimmy: couldn't happen to a better dude. >> here, does this smell good? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: come on. that's that new cologne you're wearing, right? >> it is. it's the -- >> jimmy: the axe effect. >> it's the essence of fallon. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, how's everything over on "the chew"? >> "the chew"'s rocking. >> jimmy: say hi to all my friends over there. >> they're very happy. they know you're here -- they know i'm here tonight. and they're just wishing you'll come back more quickly than -- >> jimmy: yeah, i'll be back. i'll be back. >> you're a busy guy. >> jimmy: dude, i got to say, by the way, you're both on twitter. you are fantastic on twitter. mario batali. do you follow mario? >> i haven't. >> jimmy: yeah, you're going to freak out. he is one of the best people on twitter, @mariobatali. you actually answer people's questions, which is awesome. a lot of people don't do that. they're like, "hey, what can i put in my salad besides chicken?" you're like, "bacon." and the

and -- >> they say that dude threatened my young brother, and i got upset.ne thing led to another, and the dude's dead in the woods, stabbed 21 times. >> a convicted murderer breaks down a prison extortion scheme. you're doing it again, sweetheart. hmm? the thumb thing. ♪ -mine. -mine. -mine. ♪ mine! [ female announcer ] glidden brilliance collection paint and primer in one. available only at walmart. got a day? get some color. ♪ glidden paint makes it easy to add color to your life. glidden gets you going. glidden paint makes it easy to add color to your life. lastin florida we hadulf's best tomore sun tans...years. in alabama we had more beautiful blooms... in mississippi we had more good times... in louisiana we had more fun on the water. last season we broke all kinds of records down here on the gulf. more people more good times. this year we're out to do even better... and now's a great time to start. the sun's out and the beaches are even more relaxing. you can go deep sea fishing or enjoy our world-class restaurants... our hotels and rentals have spec

and his reaction to that was to get a perm. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: dude, don johnson didn't have a perm. >> he didn't have a perm! no one had a perm! [ laughter ] we were, like -- we were expecting for him to get, like, the white -- you know, the no socks or blazer rolled up. but his reaction was to get a perm. and so, we didn't see it until we got in the car to go on a summer trip from oklahoma to miami, 'cause we're huge fans of "miami vice." >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> and we get in the car, and there is my dad. he looked like a giant little orphan annie -- [ laughter ] -- in a hawaiian shirt. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> we're like, "no. no, dad, no, no, no." >> jimmy: yeah, your mom's like, "not cool." >> and he's like, "right? like don johnson, right? [ laughter ] right?" >> jimmy: not at all. >> no, not at all like don johnson. >> jimmy: congrats on a great "snl" season, my friend. >> oh, thanks, man! >> jimmy: you had a great season finale last week. [ cheers and applause ] you're a good man.

and -- >> they say that dude threatened my young brother, and i got upset.ne thing led to another, and the dude's dead in the woods, stabbed 21 times. >> a convicted murderer breaks down a prison extortion scheme. good morning! wow. want to start the day with something heart healthy and delicious? you're a talking bee... honey nut cheerios has whole grain oats that can help lower cholesterol. and it tastes good? sure does! right... ♪ wow. delicious, right? yeah. it's the honey, it makes it taste so... ♪ well, would you look at the time... what's the rush? be happy. be healthy. >>> only the strong survive. survival of the fittest. that's why i work out physically and mentally. says survivor, the act of remaining alive. that's the definition from webster. survival, to me, is much more than simply trying to sustain this life through breathing and thinking. one must fight every day not to be forced by social pressures to live under false pretenses. survival is the act of keeping one's identity alive, not being conformed to what your environment wants you to be.

and i'd be like, "dude, i just want to go home. you're on my stoop." and he's like, "you're on my stoop." and then we started talking. i didn't know who he was, and he was just a cool guy on my stoop every night. and then, one night, i come home. he's like, "you're so tired." and pulls out a plate of bruschetta and a glass of red wine. and i was in love from then on. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. that's the way to do it, yeah. he's always had, like, stoop parties out there with a lot of wine. >> he won -- won me over. >> jimmy: oh, he's a great, great guy. >> so sweet. so supportive. >> jimmy: are you from los angeles? no. >> born and raised. >> jimmy: is that right? >> born and raised. >> jimmy: what part? >> l.a. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ light laughter ] the l.a. part of los angeles. >> l.a. part. not los angeles, l.a. well, you know, i mean, what street did i live on? >> jimmy: well, what area? there's different areas. >> sort of the beverly hills, west hollywood area. my street sort of separated beverly hills and west hollywood. >> jimmy: be

dude, your dog is weird. don't listen to him, benny. you're not weird, you're an innovator. no, he's weird. [ female announcer ] starburst. it's a juicy contradiction. want to hop in the back and get weird? no. family vacation... vegas. ♪ no. no. give it a big yank! really? yeah! [ knock on window ] no! no. ♪ ugh, no! [ sighs ] we can have hotdogs for dinner?! yes. [ male announcer ] in a world filled with "no," it's nice to finally say "yes." new oscar mayer selects hotdogs. made with 100% beef and no artificial preservatives. it's yes food. aren't just a "show." [ sizzling ] there's a reason that sound instantly starts up the waterworks in your mouth. [ sizzling ] it's the sound of flavor erupting, as freshly prepared ingredients sear, simmer, and caramelize, right there at your table. but, hey...it is a pretty good show. i'll have that. [ male announcer ] try our new sizzling entrees! like the double barrel whisky sirloin, the new sizzling n'awlins skillet, and more. starting at just $9.99. only at applebee's. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight --

dude you don't understand, this is my dad's car. look at the car!dad's gonna kill me dude... [ male announcer ] the security of a 2012 iihs top safety pick. the volkswagen passat. that's the power of german engineering. right now lease the 2012 passat for $209 a month. >>> i still look at him as the boy that i met in high school when he was playing all the jokes and really just being crazy, pretty crazy. so, there is a wild and crazy man inside of here. >> [ laughter ] >> we now know that that comment about romney in high school which seemed to come out of no where was actually ann romney very, very deliberately pre-spinning the washington post story that came out today about mitt romney's high school days. it was nine days ago that ann romney said that. the washington post has been working on this story for weeks and the romney campaign has known that. ann romney's wild and crazy line was meant to excuse mitt romney's reported today in the washington post. romney taunted a male classmate with the phrase at a girl and harassed a soft spoken boy with

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do you think shannon knows the real dude? >> absolutely.t she wasn't even born when you had your biggest hits. do you think that is a good thing? >> i think it's totally irrelevant. >> you sing to her? >> yeah. >> do you? that right, shannon? i'm very pleased for you. it's a happy ending that i didn't know existed. i feel excited for you, gregg. it's a fascinating book. it's a riveting read. you've had a hell of a life. and the fact you're going to end up with shannon, wife number seven, is a great testament to your staying power. how would you like to be remembered? >> i would like to be remembered as a -- somebody who could rock your soul or make your cry with a song. and somebody who's kind, who loved to laugh, and loved his god. >> good for you. that's a pretty good thing. it's been a real pleasure. keep on rocking. and loving. gregg allman. fascinating chap. >>> next, a former abc news president speaks out on keeping america great. dude you don't understand, this is my dad's car. look at the car! my dad's gonna kill me dude... [ male a