this is the most honest group of dudes i've met in a long time.ive it a shot. >> 90% of the time we strike out. when we do, we walk back with each other and tell stories about the night. but the other 5% is glorious. >> obviously, this isn't my normal scene. i don't typically binge drink or hang out with bros or go outside. but when i thought about the other bros i met today i realized something. i don't want to stab these guys even a little bit. so maybe i'll hang with them and see if they can make me like spring break. >> whoa! whoa! whoa! time to leave the spring breakers and meet the other group of people who think florida is an awesome place to party. retirees. and in florida they're everywhere. ♪ a post-war increase in the birth rate defined the baby boomer generation, those born between 1946 and 1964. in the year 2000 the u.s. had 35 million seniors. by 2010 it was 40 million. by 2030 the senior population is projected to be 72 million. doubling in 30 years. seniors will represent nearly 20% of the total u.s. population. so it's time to sta

he's like, dude, no way, no way, that's yours. i was like -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's funny. you know, i think one of the fun things about being you, and i'm just assuming here, is that you're part owner of the philadelphia 76ers. >> jimmy: your hometown basketball team. [ cheers and applause ] >> listen, there is nothing like in all of entertainment than to walk into the building when it's announced that you're a part owner of your hometown basketball team. >> jimmy: i can't even imagine. >> that is ridiculous. i mean, if the team doesn't win, it sucks later. >> jimmy: right, right. [ laughter ] >> at first it's like, fantastic, like yeah, will! >> jimmy: do people get upset -- the team isn't doing particularly well it? >> yeah, i love in l.a. though, so it's cool. >> jimmy: you're all right. >> yeah, you know. i go home when we winning. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you ever gather the team, give advice -- >> yeah, it was -- you know, to start the season, you know, i went and sat down with the team. and

ahah was a great man, a bad dude but he didn't know when to stop. i can live without that whale on my back. yippee! yahoo! get along, little dodoies, get along. yippee! let her rip! come on, little doggies. i'i'just an old cowhand. let her rip! this is bull, homes. turn the channel. hey, man, shut your face. want to get it on? penhall: it's kind of strange now we get to see what happens to them. penhall: no lockup, man, pleasee i'm, i'm claustrophobic. i can't take it. guard: yeah. right. i'm not faking. please! please don't close the door... ( door slams ) no! no! no! pinky: you got to help me out. please, i'll do anything. hammer, please! morty: head down this hallway, and turn left.t. wait at the end by the yellow light. i'll make a call. you'll be king tonight. slimey: you better get out of here. matty's dogging you. penhall: it's kind of strange looking at all these kids' faces, isn't it? i just want to sit here. let's just sit, okay? what's wrong with you? don't you want to get it on? penhall: what does this place do for them except make them

i know that dude. >> steve: yeah, i know that dude well. that's bill from "guess who." >> jimmy: this is a fun game. >> steve: fun game, so fun. >> jimmy: finally, from the rams, we have tim barnes. he was voted "most likely to be the love child of santa claus and yukon cornelius." there you go. those are your nfl superlatives. we'll be right back with michael fassbender! [ cheers and applause ] holidays at verizon, and the best deals are on the best network. with no surprise overages, you can use your data worry free and even carry over the data you don't use. and right now get four lines and 20 gigs for only $40 per line. you'll even get the samsung galaxy s7, the pixel phone by google, or the motoz droid for only $10 per month. hurry, these offers end soon. get the best deals and the best network, these as well. luke!? amy. it's been years! oh, you smell the same. meet my wife and my kids. oh you guys are so good-looking... and impeccably dressed. thanks. it's all old navy. you sending off some last minute gifts? i miss us. you know? you

dude.>> dude, the reaction to all that being nice sure is bringing a lot of emotion out there. kabc's reporter elex michaelson reports from southern california. >> i gist adore you and wanted to let you know. >> thank you. >> you're welcome. >> agoura high schoolteachers are answering the dude, be nice challenge. >> trying to find a student that inspires us and i chose you as my person. i'm really proud of you. >> makes me really happy. >> reporter: it's emotional when olivia robert is recognized by her teacher miss neighborhouse. >> you're a reason why i get up in the morning. >> it's almost indescribable how happy that made me to see her react. sometimes i think mr. how tough school is now and how sometimes you feel so alone and i just feel it's really helpful to have a teacher there for me. >> reporter: a compilation of these featuring everyone from a special education teacher. >> i give thanks to be able to work with a student like you. >> reporter: to a football coach. >> i appreciate

dude, lando calrissian is the man. he's awesome, dude. >> okay, yeah. >> jimmy: i love it. that's billy dee, isn't it? [ cheers ] >> yes, yeah. it is, yeah. so we have yoda, darth vader, lando calrissian. roots, can you give them a a beat? ?? ? yo uh yeah right rizzy with the roots uh yo yeah ? ? the beat's tricked but like it's wearing a toga the roots do a lot with a little just like yoda ? [ ding ] ? watch me flow bro i'm so sweet like a donut jimmy fallon's smashing up tonight ? ? yeah we'll show enough uh yo ? ? jimmy is quite a player but leia is a heart breaker left him out of breath he was wheezing like darth vader ? [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] ? i heard that donald trump don't want me to say the only place i'm going to galaxy far away ? ? yo ? >> to the "star wars" fans, i hope you're all listening. ?? ? we won't let you down like lando calrissian calrissian i hope y'all listening ? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you! that's right! thank you for doing that. riz ahmed right there! that's how you do it. come on, they love it. thank you for doing that

if you killed him, what are you going to get, dude? >> life. >> a life bit. you're stupid, dude.you don't use your head, you're going to lose the rest of your life right here. you're still a kid, dude. but you turn around and be my age and not even know it. look at me. 43 now, man. what are you doing? i've done done. i've been through it. done it. lockup, stabbing, fighting, being tough. you don't have to be tough, man. if i could get ahold of you, boy, i'd whip you just for that reason. and i'd try to knock your teeth out just because i care about you, boy. just to wake you up. you're ignorant. you can't really tell you me you're stupid, you know, because you're not. you know how i do it. i don't know about you, boy. you hurt my feelings. i can tell you that. you let me down. of all the people, i thought you were going to come through. you better wake up, josh. no matter how much i care about you, if you got to learn the hard way, you're going to do that on your own, man. if you get into this anymore, i'm for real done, man. >> you got anything down there? >> what do you need? >

dude! dude! your credit score must be amazing. my credit score? how do i check? credit karma. it's free. that's great! that's super easy. um hm. that's a credit score. just whip bam boom, it's done. check out credit karma today. credit karma. give yourself some credit. eyes over there, dude. this apartment's hers. mine... thank you. robert: college football. after finishing 3-9 last season the terps are moving in the right direction this year to make it to a bowl game. the quick lane bowl today against boston college. when start second quarter. 16-0 b.c. johnson gets the hasn't quaff and runs it up -- handoff and runs its up the gut. the terps get on the board. down 16-7 the game. check out the tricky. double reverse. back to the quarterback. the terps finish at 6-7. well, there is still a chance the redskins can make the playoffs. but they need help. from none other than the cowboys. if dallas beats the lions tonight the redskins control their own destiny again. if it doesn't happen, they will still have a chance. the lions beat the packers the redskins w

>>> and a dude shows his love for his wife. >> by scaring the snap out of her. >> see why his funny jokexactly scream romance. feel like this. all-in-one cold symptom relief from tylenol®, the #1 doctor recommended pain relief brand. tylenol® when you have a cold, pain from chest congestion can make this... feel like this. all-in-one cold symptom relief from tylenol®, the #1 doctor recommended pain relief brand. tylenol® owith new flavorfilled pairingss freshly filled pastas bursting with indulgent flavors perfectly paired with irresistible chicken, shrimp or steak plus all the salad and breadsticks you want your favorite things come together at the holidays, at olive garden. of reach for far too long:s have health insurance.that's been out how? they enrolled through covered california. it's the health insurance marketplace where you'll find a range of plans from leading health insurance companies that offer you the best combination of quality, rates, and benefits. and, through covered california, you may get financial help to pay for coverage. to have health insurance starting january 1

the dudes that get beat up and the dudes that get stabbed are dudes that rape little kids. >> coming up -- >> i told you it was going to happen and it happened. >> timothy schreiber claims he's been attacked. [ bleep ] [ bleep ] >> but staff are skeptical. >> looks pretty self-inflicted to me. >> oh, yeah, that's self-inflicted. sure, what are you from the planet mars? >>> during his first week at the limon correctional facility, inmate timothy schreiber has made no secret of his status. >> i am a sex offender. >> and his fellow inmates in ad segregation have made no secret of their disdain of sex offenders. >> how bad is it? >> now staff has been informed that schreiber has also been making racial slurs and has apparently paid a price for it. >> what did he say? >> he claims another inmate has sprayed his cell with feces and urine. >> the staff in seg didn't identify anybody as doing it. >> he's going to do everything he can do to stay checked into segregation and not hit gp. >> is that all the stuff right there? >> this is all it. here and on the bed. >> what this guy is doing is g

conrad a real good dude. over and make sure dude get graduated and adopted and everything. >>> coming up -- >> this morning inmate brown was in labor. >> as la'quan brown leaves the jail to have her baby, keith johnson suspects she may have spoken authorities as to the alleged murder. >> she's got a weak body and mind so [ bleep ]. >>> visitations is tuesdays and >>> visitations is tuesdays and wednesdays and commissary is on thursdays. >> all right. >> keith has recently plead not guilty to new charges including murder and carjacking. he's been removed from the detention center's dog program and moved back into general population. curtis conrad says he and the other inmates in operation new hope will have to take over training johnson's dog who's been allowed to remain in the program. >> pretty much what's going to happen is i will pick up the slack for him or someone else does, and we'll keep training him coinciding with other dogs until we get a handle and go back and back-brief them on what's going on. i'

dude! dude! i know! your credit score must be amazing. my credit score? how do i check? credit karma. it's free. that's great! that's super easy. um hm. that's a credit score. just whip bam boom, it's done. credit karma. give yourself some credit. eyes over there, dude. this apartment's hers. mine... thank you. robert: talk about the late christmas gift. redskins nation happy about the cowboys. cowboys had to beat the lions for the redskins to stay alive in the playoffs. looking back, was it awkward rooting for cowboys last night? go to wjla.com/votenow. let us know how you feel. last night complete domination from the cowboys. dak press scott 15-20. including a couple to dez. by the way, who had a touchdown pass. cowboys blew out the lions. now the redskins have to take care of business on sunday against the giants. >> obviously, the cowboys played good football for 14 games and they deserve to be where they are. we're still trying to get in there. if you don't make the playoffs, regardless of the record it's a disappointment. we have a good team and good

hot chick just walking up to dudes on the street and goes -- ?? she doesn't say a thing. she just stares at these guys. >> isn't this like the ultimate male fantasy? she's blond, she's beautiful, and she's not talking. >> well, maybe once they have their fantasy, they don't realize that it's a bad one. because she's ogling them up. she finds these two guys at a park bench, sits down, and stares at them. their conversation is pretty funny. first they're kind of happy that such a pretty woman notices them. the beautiful woman here is known as madeline. she's actually really accomplished artist and does youtube artistic tutorials. it gets even more awkward when working with. ladies, at the beginning we talked about how it's awkward to be stared at. i thought maybe the ladies would handle it better, but they don't. madeline goes up to women, stares at them, doesn't talk. all the women can do to respond is just walk away. time after time, the women are just like, okay, you're we're. >> yeah, we get enough from the dudes. we don't need the ladies also doing this as so bye. >> f

and now they're probably like, "dude, walter white married us. dude, how fun is that?" >> what?"why him?" >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: very, very funny movie. you, james franco, meagan mullally. who else? >> zoey deutch, yeah. keegan-michael key. >> jimmy: keegan-michael key is hilarious. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's hilarious, and both you guys, i know james pretty well -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: he comes on the show and he's just got a great sense of humor. i can just see you guys -- >> it's fun. it's fun. >> jimmy: having fun together. yeah, exactly. >> midwest guy, loves his family. everything going well. the apple of his eye, his young daughter who's attending stanford, and she starts dating james franco. well, not james franco. but, james franco's character. >> jimmy: his character, yeah. it was like, yeah -- >> you know, even if it was james franco -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait a second. hold on a second. >> hold the phone on that. yeah. >> jimmy: it's a great premise. >> and they collide and there's a lot of testosterone and stupidity going on. >> jimmy: yeah, it's very, very f

hot chick just walking up to dudes on the street and goes -- ?? she doesn't say a thing. she just stares at these guys. >> isn't this like the ultimate male fantasy? she's blond, she's beautiful, and she's not talking. >> well, maybe once they have their fantasy, they don't realize that it's a bad one. because she's just eyeing and park bench, sits down, and stares at them. their conversation is pretty funny. first they're kind of happy that such a pretty woman notices them. the beautiful woman here is known as madeline. she's actually really accomplished artist and does youtube artistic tutorials. it gets even more awkward when this guy approaches. that's the prankster she's working with. ladies, at the beginning we talked about how it's awkward to be stared at. i thought maybe the ladies would handle it better, but they don't. madeline goes up to women, stares at them, doesn't talk. all the women can do to respond is just walk away. time after time, the women are just like, okay, you're we're. >> yeah, we get enough from the dudes. we don't need the ladies also doing th

dude, this beard is not a fashion choice.en't had time to shave because i've been binge watching for the past week. >> our weekly show where we give this wheel a spin, whatever fugitive it lands on, we're going to ask our citizens to help find him. let's see what this week's suspect is. that looks like it's going to be joshua roberts smith. is who we're going to look for this week. if you know where to find mr. smith, please contact us by going to crime line. >> yes! this is so much fun! >> trevor: hasan, i don't know how i feel about this. we have to take law enforcement seriously. >> dude, loosen up! tell me you weren't happy when the wheel didn't land on the black guy. ( laughter ) ( applause ). >> trevor: i'm not going to lie, it was gripping. i'm not going to lie. i'm not going to lie. like, if it was spinning, "don't land on the black guy." i can't lie. >> isn't it a relief ton wheels aren't bias gld look i don't understand, i don't understand. why don't the police try to catch all the criminals instead of just picking

the other little dude grabbed on to me again. i kind of shrugged him off. >> a new arrival raises serious concerns. >> he's a predatory inmate. has a history of that outside of prison and inside of prison. >> we can all get through this. we have not lost anybody yet. >> young cadets experience the burn as each one takes a pepper spray shot in the eye. >> was that that bad? >> hell yes. >> you can do it. you can do it! >>> just east of pensacola, in the florida panhandle, is 84 acres of some of the most dangerous land in the state. this is the santa rosa correctional institution, a maximum security prison with more than 2,800 inmates. >> roll out. >> i have over 200 inmates that are serving life sentences, and i have over 200 inmates that are serving 25-year mandatory sentences. our population here at santa rosa consists of inmates that are violation of probation to drug charges to burglary to rape or murder. just coming to work, the correctional officers in an institution put themselves in danger every day. >> back out, kneel dow

dude, this beard is not a fashion choice.ause i've been binge watching for the past week. >> our weekly show where we give this wheel a spin, whatever fugitive it lands on, we're going to ask our citizens to help find him. let's see what this week's suspect is. that looks like it's going to be joshua roberts smith. is who we're going to look for this week. if you know where to find mr. smith, please contact us by going to crime line. >> yes! this is so much fun! >> trevor: hasan, i don't know how i feel about this. we have to take law enforcement seriously. >> dude, loosen up! tell me you weren't happy when the wheel didn't land on the black guy. ( laughter ) ( applause ). >> trevor: i'm not going to lie, it was gripping. i'm not going to lie. i'm not going to lie. like, if it was spinning, "don't land on the black guy." i can't lie. >> isn't it a relief ton wheels aren't bias gld look i don't understand, i don't understand. why don't the police try to catch all the criminals instead of just picking one per week. >> dude! you

i love that dude. >> steve: a delight. >> jimmy: i love him. yeah. plus we love this guy too.anc in the new comedy series "man with a plan." kevin nealon is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] and if you like good music -- you guys enjoy good music? [ cheers ] this guy is one of the -- kirk? he's your favorite? i love this guy. gary clark, jr. is here! [ cheers and applause ] "the story of sonny boy slim." he can jam. oh, my gosh. he's just amazing. i just love how -- he's one of the best guitarists out there. guys, we have exactly 11 shows left before we go on christmas break. [ audience aws ] which means it's time for that beloved "tonight show" tradition. it's time for 12 days of christmas sweaters! here we go! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ twelve days of christmas sweaters eleven shows left ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: that is right. every show between now and christmas, we're giving one lucky audience member a snazzy christmas sweater. [ cheers and applause ] from the countdown to christmas cabinet. since there are 11 shows left, let's open door number 11. [ cheers and applause ] oh. ♪ [

i go, i love this dude. the uncanny ability of making things disappear and reappear, and disappear. >> jimmy: yeah. >> where was he during the election? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i gotta ask him that. what are you doing -- what are you doing with adidas? you're doing a thing called, uh, is it hu? "h.u."? >> yeah, hu. >> jimmy: hu. and -- and what is that? just another collaboration? you're always doing something cool with adidas. >> man, it's -- just a lot -- it's like a platform that allows me to, like, tap into different cultures, so they can tell their stories. and at the same time, we're, like, making apparel that is about performing not just physically, but spiritually, and like emotionally. and "hu" is short for "health ultimatum," you know. it's -- it's honestly, like, i think your leader should be the person you see in the mirror. >> jimmy: that's interesting. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, i've seen -- i see you're a fashionable guy. i can't pull off any of this. [ laughter ] >> well,

see these dudes come in, masked up. here they are, they have the same plan. >> they need to start watching this show, because it doesn't work. >> in this case it wasn't a small fire, it was an explosion. >> hang on, standing right there, get blown through the door? >> he was able to make it out of the door. the person that came back through is someone trying to extinguish the fire. police caught up with these guys, too. >> did he have any eyebrows? >> boohoo for me, i'm so sad, caught in jail. >> head down and he's crying. he said things didn't work out the way he planned. these dudes decided to cry about it. either way, you're not getting into an atm. seen this happen tons of times. can't drag with it a tractor. doesn't matter what you do, leave it alone. >> it was a run of the mill day on the sunshine coast of british columbia. she approached a hair pin, her suv fish tailed and went off the road, fell 40 feet. then over a waterfall and came to a rest in a rushing creek full of icy cold water on the edge of another wat

"i'm going to venture out, dude! ah!"ghter ] finally, here's a crazy story coming out of california. apparently a man there was just arrested -- this is real -- for terrorizing residents in his neighborhood by blasting an air horn in the middle of the night. [ laughter ] this is not, i'm not, i'm not joking. take a look at this guy's mugshot. look. [ laughter ] kind of looks like he might have aimed the air horn backwards. [ laughter ] oh, my goodness. can we see that guy again? forget the air horn. are we sure that he wasn't just making that noise himself? [ air horn ] we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone! before we get started, i want to say congratulations to lorne michaels. today, he was named a recipient of the presidential medal of freedom. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: which is the -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it is the highest civilian honor that you can receive. we're all so excited for -- for him. congratulations, lorne. we

conrad a real good dude.ure dude get graduated and adopted and everything. >>> coming up -- >> this morning inmate brown was in labor. >> as la'quan brown leaves the jail to have her baby, keith johnson suspects she may have spoken to authorities about hiss alleged role in the murder. >> she's got a weak body and mind so [ bleep ]. side-by-sid, so you know you're getting a great deal. saving the moolah. [ chuckles ] as you can see, sometimes progressive isn't the lowest. not always the lowest! jamie. what are you doing? -i'm being your hype man. not right now. you said i was gonna be the hype man. no, we said we wouldn't do it. i'm sorry, we were talking about savings. i liked his way. cha-ching! talking about getting that moneeeey! talking about getting that moneeeey! savings worth the hype. now that's progressive. savings worth the hype. the first rule of is that teamwork is important. remember to do the little things. help each other out. and the second rule of being a viking. there's more than one way to

>>> and a dude shows his love for his wife. >> by scaring the snap out of her. >> see why his funny joke doesn't exactly scream romance. feel like this. all-in-one cold symptom relief from tylenol?, the #1 doctor recommended pain relief brand. pain from chest congestion can make this... feel like this. all-in-one cold symptom relief from tylenol?, the #1 doctor recommended pain relief brand. tylenol? gwith new flavorfilled pairings freshly filled pastas bursting with indulgent flavors perfectly paired with irresistible chicken, shrimp or steak plus all the salad and breadsticks you want your favorite things come together at the holidays, john, we're giving you a raise. that's fantastic! but i'm gonna pass. are you ok? honey, you got another present. no thank you, dad. who says no to more? time warner cable internet gives you more of what you and those little data hoggers want. like ultra-fast speeds up to 50 megs. that's 8x faster than dsl. this internet speed is sick. get 15 meg internet starting at $39.99 a month. call now. and with home wifi, the whole family can be online at once. g

students have started a club called dude be nice. dude. it's all about being nice, obviously, and letting people know they're appreciated. students have been posting videos telling others how they feel. even teachers have gotten in on it sharing kind words with the students who inspire them. >> sometimes i think about how tough school is now and how sometimes you can feel so alone and it's really helpful to have a teacher. ben: the students who founded the club say their mission is to spread happiness and kindness on campus. they say even a small gesture can make someone's day. adrienne: an 11-year-old boy in virginia uses a skill he learned watching tv to save his friend's life. one of wayne norris's friends, a sixth grader, started choking on a slice of pizza during lunch. wayne had seen the heimlich maneuver on tv so he tried to help his friend stop choking. >> the principal saidh amazing. you saved a kid's life. >> he needs to dherish this moment for the rest of his life and be proud of what he did. because i am very proud. >> he doesn

dude! dude! i know! your credit score must be amazing. my credit score? how do i check? great! that's super easy. um hm. that's a credit score. just whip bam boom, it's done. check out credit karma today. credit karma. give yourself some credit. eyes over there, dude. this apartment's hers. mine... thank you.