(michael) we are making a commercial for dunder mifflin today. our first ad ever.time in local markets to spread the word about dunder mifflin infinity, and they are even sending up a professional ad company to help us make it later, so it's, uh, not too shabby. best ad ever? ♪ gimme a break ♪ gimme a break ♪ break me off a piece of that-- ♪ i am totally blanking. what is the thing? nobody tell him! what? no--why? you got it. you're so close. ♪ break me off a piece of that ♪ ♪ duh duh duh ♪ bre--apple sauce break me off a piece of that apple sauce. i don't think that's-- ♪ piece of that chrysler car nope. ♪ football cream (michael) okay. grr! it's football cream. it's football cream. all right, so anybody else? i'm taking a computer animation class, so i could try to do a logo. look at that. even the receptionist is getting in on the creativity. very good. very good. hello, hello. hey, how you doing? michael scott. hey, michael. regional manager. hi, michael. nice to meet you. excited to talk ideas. us too, man. you know what? i want this to be cutting edge. i want

group (on tv): dunder mifflin! andy bernard presents "summer softball, epic fails."

[phone rings] dunder mifflin. this is pam. i'm sorry. he's not in yet.ing] yeah! yeah, okay! 12 miles an hour. eat that, carl lewis! angela made several 9-1-1 calls about cars going too fast in front of the building, so the police put up a radar gun. it's actually caused a bit of a traffic hazard. [dwight yelling] aah! wow, 13! no, no. no, there was wind. i was just jogging. dwight, there was wind. i want a do-over. no, no, no. it's not your turn. all right, 13 is the new number. oscar, go ahead. i want another try. here we go! 31! 31! there was a car. i was ahead of the car. 31 is my new number. 31 is humanly impossible. go, oscar. 31's my number. that's impossible. beat it. [cheerful music] ♪ (michael) today's a big day. my presence has been requested by [authoritative voice] chief financial officer david wallace. he says that he wants to talk about big picture stuff. and i'll be honest, i have little or no idea what that means, so... probably bad. quick announcement. new year, new candy. whoo-hoo! okay, be careful, kevin. they're kind of spicy. hot ta

/h0h1h2h3h4hj [piano rock] ♪ tonight is the dundies, the annual employee awards night here at dunder mifflins everybody's favorite day. everybody looks forward to it. because, you know, a lot of the people here don't get trophies very often. like, meredith or kevin. i mean, who's gonna give kevin an award, dunkin' donuts? plus, bonus, it's really, really funny. so i--you know, an employee will go home, and he'll tell his neighbor, "hey, did you get an award?" and the neighbor'll say, "no, man." i mean, i slave all day. nobody notices me. next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from the neighbor's house. neighbor's hanged himself. due to lack of recognition. so... so you ready for the dundies? ugh. you know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful, you can't look away? the dundies are like a car wreck that, you wanna look away, but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you. hey-hey-hey! it's fat halpert! what? fat halpert! jim halpert. so why don't i take you on a tour of past dundie winners? we got fat jim halpert here. jim, why don't you show