. >> for as long as edie geiten could remember, she could not get the sad thoughts out of her head. > say to me, smile, edie, why don't you smile? and i would give something like that, maybe. or just think what is there to smile about? >> at 19, her blank face reflected what would later be diagnosed as severe depression. >> that expression is the best i could do. >> what's it like to look at it now? >> i feel sorry for her. i just -- i feel bad for her that she couldn't smile. that she couldn't talk to people about, you know, what is going on with her that would lead her to cut her wrists several months later. >> it was her sophomore year. academic and social pressures were the trigger. and one night -- >> for reasons that are inexplicable to me, even now, got up and started playing with the raiser. >> and you cut your wrists? >> um-hmm. >> did you cut both of your wrists? >> yeah. >> she went into counseling, but it didn't help. over the next 40 years, she tried everything else, including psychiatric drugs and electroconvulsive shock therapy. >> and then there was a few years that i