. >> reporter: for as long as edie guyton can remember, she could not get the sad thoughts out of herto me, smile, edie. why don't you smile? and i would, you know, give something like that, maybe. or just think, what is there to smile about? >> reporter: at 19, her blank face reflected what would later be diagnosed as severe depression. >> that expression is the best i could -- i could do. >> reporter: what's it like to look at it now? >> i feel sorry for her. you know, i just -- i feel bad for her. that she couldn't smile. that she couldn't talk to people about, you know, what -- what is going on with her that would lead her to cut her wrists several months later. >> reporter: it was her sophomore year. academic and social pressures were the trigger. and one night -- >> for reasons that are inexplicable to me even now, got up and started playing with a razor. and -- >> reporter: you cut your wrists. >> mm-hmm. >> reporter: you cut both your wrists? >> yeah, mm-hmm. >> reporter: she went into counseling. but it didn't help. over the next 40 years she tried everything else, including