and music from edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros.o and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, in so many words, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, hello, everyone. thank you for coming. thank you for watching and for the clapping. it's -- i tell you something -- and a baba booey to you, too. it's a special day today. it's veterans day. i want to say thank you on behalf of all of us here at the show to our veterans and our men and women in the military right now. [ applause ] that's right. and i also want to salute a very special veteran of the korean war, especially because it happens to be his birthday today, uncle frank. >> oh, jimmy, thank you. thank you, jimmy. [ applause ] >> jimmy: he's 77 years old today. which is four justin biebers and an olsen twin. not including -- i tried to figure it out. he's the fifth oldest person on national television. mike wallace is 91. then andy rooney is next. then barbara waters. then regis. then uncle frank. >> wow! thank you. [ applause ] >> jimm

and music from edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros. fire. uncle frank, did you know you're exactly eight days older than larry king? >> i knew we were the same age because we're from the same part of brooklyn. yeah. >> jimmy: in brooklyn, they try to do birthing in groups, it's -- but happy birthday. later on, we'll run you through the spanking machine -- >> what machine? >> jimmy: never mind. it will be fine. another big birthday yesterday. the 41st birthday of "sesame street." before "sesame street," the only place kids could learn to read was from books. it's meant a lot to many children, and adults, of course, including the rapper lil' john who just recorded a tribute to "sesame street" and prepared to be dazzled. this just might possibly be the greatest song ever recorded. ♪ sunny day ♪ ♪ sweeping the clouds away ♪ ♪ hey ♪ ♪ sesame street [ bleep ] ♪ ♪ sesame street [ bleep ] ♪ ♪ i don't know [ bleep ] ♪ ♪ i don't know [ bleep ] ♪ ♪ [ bleep ] ♪ ♪ sesame street [ bleep ] ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: i -- that's -- that's good stuff. i

music from edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros and "this week in hey, you got groceries! yeah!ey. $200 bucks? that's not saving! [jacks voice] at my place i'm bringing back the bonus jack. two patties, melting cheese and my secret sauce plus fries and a drink for only $3.99. i get it. you can eat lot cheaper atouar placthan y c]n at home. but do have this? i have dessert. what about this? ohhh. ohhhhhh. jack. that's for max.

music from edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros and "this week in ♪ [ female announcer ] there's a wayll without leaving your home. it's called safeway home delivery. visit safeway.com today and you'll save $15 on your first order and get free home delivery. just type in the promo code: fresh. it's everything you need. so you have more time to do what you want. order today. with $15 off and free delivery, now's the time to shop at safeway.com.

music from edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros, and "this week in unnecessary censorship." " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "

music from edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros, and "this week in unnecessary censorship."hem all without leaving your home. it's called safeway home delivery. visit safeway.com today and you'll save $15 on your first order and get free home delivery. just type in the promo code: fresh. it's everything you need. so you have more time to do what you want. order today. with $15 off and free delivery now's the time to shop at safeway.com. look at all the toyota's for sale. let's go with... i'm selling my toyota rav4. do you know anything at all about the escape? it's a nice light blue color. much like my eyes. my goodness, it's true. the mileage is extraordinary. 28 miles per gallon on the highway. it's a voice-activated sync system. all around, it's better than my toyota. get our best deals. 0% financing and, as a holiday bonus, we'll give you $1500 to use toward your first three payments. is it wrong to drive a toyota to ford's year end celebration? not if you leave it behind. >>> time for tonight's closing argument

danica patrick and music from blake shelton, then on thursday, harrison ford, gary dell'abate, and edward sharpeht on "private practice" and now brings scent to the scent-less with a new fragrance called "boyfriend." it launches thursday on the home shopping network. please welcome kate walsh. >> you look great. >> jimmy: thank you. you look better. it's great to see you. you look amazing. ? 1234 why do you say that? >> you just look really fan-freakin'-taftic. 1234i6' been throwing up a lot. >> i had the stomach flu. i admire you, i was thinking, holy cow -- >> jimmy: thanks very much. that's nice of you to say. congratulations -- i understand there's an actual human boyfriend ground up in every bottle. is that true? >> that is my hook. yes. capitalize many. >> jimmy: i'm fascinating by getting a fragrance of your own. i think it's kind of like a big deal to be asked to have this, right? >> you can't just go to the corner and sign up. i tried but it did not work. >> jimmy: this was your idea, this boyfriend thing? >> a while back, i broke up with a boyfriend while in new york. i missed his clon

pine, the latest loser from "dancing with the stars," and we'll have music from blake shelton, edward sharpetic zeros and neil diamond. so please remember us on your tv and in your prayers. our first guest plays resident surgeon meredith grey on "grey's anatomy," but in real life, she's not a doctor, she's a patient because she's injured her foot somehow. from "grey's anatomy" please welcome ellen pompeo. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. you wore your orthopedic shoes. >> well, in case i have to run from what's his name with the air ropes. that's a little scary. >> jimmy: what happened to your foot? >> i -- i don't know. >> jimmy: there was talk we might have to wheel you out here. >> i did pretty well, though. >> jimmy: you did. i would never have known. we could have gotten away with it entirely, but -- [ applause ] might as well milk it for a little bit of sympathy. what the hell? >> i don't know. high heels and two glasses of wine aren't the best combination. though plenty of women seem to do it all the time really well, but me is a different story. >> jimmy: did you feel it? i

tomorrow night, harrison ford will be here, and edward sharp and the magnetic zeros will be with us.w, there's really no reason for you to continue wearing that barbara bush wig. i mean, you can -- >> that's my real hair, jim. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. looks like you have a new curling iron, huh? our first guest tonight is a fine young actor who took command of the star ship enterprise from an angry william shatner. now he attempts to single handedly stop a train in "unstoppable," out friday. please welcome chris pine. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> oh, no. >> jimmy: we're going to go through some things. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: how is it going? >> going very well. >> jimmy: pleasure to have you here. since the last time you were here, which was, i think, right before -- >> what, a year ago. >> jimmy: you've -- you've achieved status that very few celebrities achieve. rarely -- like, your clay aikens, your lady gagas, rarely does a celebrity get a group of fans that name themselves after the celebrity. >> i think it's because my last name is maybe -- it makes for

still to come, danica patrick, music from blake shelton, and edward sharp and the magnetic zeros.this week. our first guest is the number one podcaster in, i think the world, unless the chinese are up to something again. he has defied all reason and written a book, with words in it and everything, it's called "in 50 years, we'll all be chicks." pease welcome literary sensation adam carolla! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for coming. >> thank you. >> jimmy: should i say shalom, thank you for being here, rabbi? >> no, i brought it out because -- i don't know if you are experiencing this, but i'm getting hot flashes. i think i'm experiencing manopause. i do. i'm irritable. i'm bloated. i no longer when i have sex with myself -- >> jimmy: really? that concerns me. really worries me. >> it's what you call a marker. >> jimmy: i have to say, you're up to all sorts of unexpected things like writing a book. i believe it was you who called the library the devil's works p workshop, wasn't it? >> well, i just thank that words poison the mind, jimmy. >> jimmy: i really -- i don't

edward wycoff williams, contributor to the grio. the post looked midterm elections and found a sharp slip between the republican midwest and coastal democratswhat's your take on that? >> you know, i think when the chins are down and the economy in such bad shape, unemployment is so high, people really can't afford the luxury of letting the left coast be the political leaders. i guess folks want to get back to basics and want their politician and elected leaders to pay attention to the things that matter them, which is jobs, which is the economy. we saw that with the tea party movement, voters electing republican governors all through the midwest and the rust belt. i think it has to do with middle america getting real and make sure the rest of the country and their leaders get real as well and i thank you is a trend that will continue a while. >> edward, which party do you think this report should concern more, republicans or democrats? >> i think it should concern both. i disagree with sherry, i think she is reiterating republican talking point buys saying this mild america is trying to correct what's going on on the coast. i think the trut