, so i interviewed absolutely brilliant and, wonderful woman who's a professor of uc irvine, elizabeth loftus, who is one of the greatest living psychology s and it was just a delight to interview her. but one of the things she told me was that very often in group therapy sessions and we know group therapy often comes with iatrogenic effects like people sadder, like making them more worried, like making them worse about the loss of a loved one, she said. it's like a little bit of memory of sort of memory poker on or sadness where you think about, oh, you just shared a memory that's sad. well, if i say something minor, it's going to it's going to bore everyone. so i'm going to one up that and this is just a natural human response to sharing our pain, right? you don't want to say something like, gosh, now i'm embarrassed to share mine because it was so minor. you naturally kind of one up. and we were doing this with kids effectively in school. where's your courage from in our world today to describe what what really examined it and presented requires courage in both your books you've demonstrat