you loved 'em.ld picnic table was wobbly, and i took a bunch of those cards and stuck 'em under the leg. i remember that. they got destroyed in the rain. you're not gonna cry, are you, raymond? no. that's the thing. he didn't cry. he just looked... betrayed. it tore my heart out. i can't forget that look. stop it! i can't forget twhat?ook. that look! there it is! stop it! i'm not doing anything! don't lie! it's subtle, but it's there! hey, i'm sorry about your cards already! it's the one thing i did wrong. the one thing. how about when i was 10 years old, and you backed your car over my big toe? doesn't ring a bell. frank... i'm sick of this. go clean your whiskers out of the sink. after you. wait a second, dad. the batman thing is not the same, ok? 'cause you ruined my cards. i saved ally's cards. she wanted to get rid of all her cards for one. which is what she wanted to do. will you stop, please? it's over. what kind of cards? nothin', ma. just this korean thing the kids are into now.

including 25 em-puh-guh's highway. what? em-pe-juh, muhpuhguh? muh-puh-guh's? muh -- em-puh-guh's?em-pe-guh, em-puh-guh's. i'm saying it right, but it just doesn't sound familiar. hmm. ♪ for the same old same old or are you making it the original? at pizza hut we brought you the original pan pizza... and our great thin 'n crispy® and hand tossed which made us america's number-one choice. and now we're helping you put your spin on it and create your own original with the $10 any pizza deal. any pizza, any size, any toppings delivery, dine in or carry out. just ask for or use promo code ten any. we all have a choice. pizza hut make it great® ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ of providing a free world-class education for anyone, anywhere. if you look at a khan academy video, they cover everything from basic arithmetic to calculus, trigonometry, finance. you can really just get what you need at your own pace. and so, bank of america came and reached out to us and said, "we are really interested in making sure that everyone really understands personal finance." we're like, "well, we're already doing that." and s

including 25 em-puh-guh's highway. what? em-pe-juh, muhpuhguh? muh-puh-guh's? muh -- em-puh-guh's? em-pee-gee's? 25 em-pe-guh, em-puh-guh's. i'm saying it right, but it just doesn't sound familiar. hmm. ♪ whoa! (sneezes) homer: hmm? our first anniversary. and we're more in love than ever. in your face, people who said it wouldn't last a year!

including 25 em-puh-guh's highway. what? em-pe-juh, muhpuhguh? muh-puh-guh's? muh -- em-puh-guh's? em-pee-gee's? 25 em-pe-guh, em-puh-guh's. i'm saying it right, but it just doesn't sound familiar. hmm. ♪ chauncey can't lather like this, man. you can't, either. look, you just jealous because i got a legend in my chair. barry sanders. this man ran for 99 career touchdowns. 99. and then you just disappeared from the game. why? well, guys, the real reason i retired is because i -- [ crash ] [ male announcer ] uncap pepsi max to unlock a legend like barry sanders in madden nfl 25. ♪ nah, dawg. we closed now. mm. yeah. try our new bacon avocado chicken sandwich or the southwestern blt. both served on buttered toasted pretzel rolls with a side of fries. enjoy a new pretzel roll sandwich today. chili's. more life happens here. >> joe: tonight on "fox sports live," complete highlights and analysis from this game, the nlcs, plus everything else in the world of sports and whatever crosses their minds tonight. don't miss f"fox sports live" every night on fox sports 1. to find it on your provi

that's-- that's one of 'em. right, listen, when i go-- when i go there, i should be thinkin' about god, right? but instead i'm thinkin' about some column i'm workin' on... uh, "what's up with this guy's scalp? oh, that lady sneezed. i'm not shakin' her hand." i'm not focused. i feel like i'm just goin' through the motions, and that's, uh... that's not respectful, right? yeah, you're right. i mean, you shouldn't go if you're just goin' through the motions. what are you doin'? what? i'm agreeing with you. no. you're trying to make me feel guilty. no, i'm not. yechh...you're just like my mother. why do you have to insult me? we're talking. and, besides, you're the one that had to eat a whole pint of ice cream. if you're feeling guilty, it's not because of me. let me tell you something. i practice being a good person every day, ok? i'm a decent fellow. i--i do good things. i always leave a big tip, if a squirrel runs in front of the car, do i not swerve? i'm considerate of people's feelings. remember the plumber who

including 25 em-puh-guh's highway. what? em-pe-juh, muhpuhguh? muh-puh-guh's? muh -- em-puh-guh's?-guh's. i'm saying it right, but it just doesn't sound familiar. hmm. ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, music from "fuse" on the sony outdoor stage, keith urban is with us. tomorrow night, lisa kudrow will be here, as will the fascinating malcolm gladwell, and we'll have music from kings of leon too. join us tomorrow. >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is an entrepreneur and entertainer. he's an entrepre-tainer, really. his brand new tv network, revolt just went on the air this week please welcome the relentless sean "diddy" combs. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. >> whoo! >> jimmy: that was an enthusiastic entrance. hey, who are you rooting for in the world series, anybody? >> um -- >> jimmy: red sox the cardinals. are you a yankees' fan? >> yes, definitely a yankees fan. >> jimmy: can't root for the red sox. >> definitely not. >> jimmy: or the cardinals either. >> jimmy, i just came from the bar down the street. they have an after hours thing down the block since i moved into the nei

i held 'em off as long as i could to let you sleep. (sue) we made all your favorites-- eggs, sausage, waffles... and a mini-doughnut dad with bacon arms. well, i'll eat him first. thanks. this looks great. you kids really know how to cook. yo, pops! h.f.d.! how about a game of hoops later? you got it. bring your "a" game. it's gonna be epic! (clicks tongue) i made you a remote control caddy. mom got all the supplies from the store and then stayed up late last night to put it all together. but it was your idea. wow. okay. let's let your father enjoy his breakfast and read his paper in peace. it's his day. (both) we love you, dad. my mother's day was right on course. i had choked down some runny eggs, burnt waffle, and old fried bologna. (clicks remote) (tv playing indistinctly) who would've thought old bologna would be the star of that show? oh, this is torture! turn it down! ♪ mom, do you like your breakfast? you haven't eaten very much. yes, i did. when you weren't looking. and you know, grandma's coming later for our lunch at neptune

." >> that's their style of ball-- hit 'em, hit 'em, hit 'em, hit 'em. they're going to hit you in the mouth, and they're going to keep hitting you in the mouth until you say "uncle," so... so, it's a beautiful thing to be on their side, you know. >> we've been taught from, you know, fourth grade on that to be physical is the only way to play football. >> our goal isn't to just win the game. coaches talk about, you know, playing so hard that your opponent loses their next game, as well. ( shouting ) ( crowd moans ) >> we expect it, we... we demand it, for them to be that way. football is violent. it's a violent sport, and i don't know that it can be too violent. >> get him! ( whistle blows ) >> our brand is a physical brand of football, you know. it... it's got to be that way. >> we're back at cowboys stadium here in arlington, texas. vic river here, along with eric vaughn, welcome you to the kirk herbstreit national kickoff classic. >> narrator: as the game between shiloh and trinity began, some were worried about the safety of shiloh's athletes. >> thi

come on ♪ ♪ let your colors burst make 'em go ♪ ♪ "oh, oh, oh" you're gonna leave 'em ♪ ♪ falling downe a firework ♪ ♪ come on show 'em what you're worth ♪ ♪ make 'em go "oh, oh, oh" ♪ ♪ as you shoot across the sky ♪ ♪ baby, you're a firework come on ♪ ♪ let your colors burst make 'em go ♪ ♪ "oh, oh, oh" you're gonna leave 'em ♪ ♪ falling down down, down ♪ ♪ boom, boom, boom even brighter than the ♪ ♪ moon, moon, moon it's always been inside ♪ ♪ of you, you, you and now ♪ ♪ it's time to let it through, through, through ♪ ♪ 'cause, baby you're a firework ♪ ♪ come on show 'em what you're worth ♪ ♪ make 'em go "oh, oh, oh" ♪ ♪ as you shoot across the sky ♪ ♪ baby, you're a firework come on ♪ ♪ let your colors burst make 'em go ♪ ♪ "oh, oh, oh" you're gonna leave 'em ♪ ♪ falling down down, down ♪ ♪ boom, boom, boom even brighter than the ♪ ♪ moon, moon, moon boom, boom, boom ♪ ♪ even brighter than the moon, moon, moon ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i got the eye of the tiger >>> big thanks to katy perry and all the high schools across the country that participated in this magnificent event. s

you loved it when i scared 'em.ing to you, and you could hug and cuddle and slobber all over them. hey, that was nice. that's an actual good memory i have. she'd calm us down. yeah. she used to scratch my head. that helped. i didn't like seeing my boys scared. hey, remember the butter cookies? oh, yeah. hey, you got any of those, ma? oh, sure, honey, let me get them. i like the, uh, the pretzel-lookin' ones. ah, remember then we'd go upstairs to our room to get away from him, and then we'd talk about the mets till we fell asleep, huh? yeah. yeah. i'm glad you were there, cubby. yeah. yeah, me, too. it was good. yeah. personally, i like leprechauns. what? leprechauns. cute, harmless little irish guys. and whenever i'd tell you guys a story, i'd throw in a couple of leprechauns and scare the bejesus outta you. hey, ray, how did i know that little raymond was afraid of leprechauns? i don't know. any ideas... robert? dad, don't start pointin' fingers, ok? that's not gonna work, right, ray? that's right. how did he know

one loan hold 'em on amazon. from steve grasso.he rest of the folks on the desk they are all folds. >> i like how you look over your shoulder. guy and b.k. >> tim is looking right at you. >> i'm looking right at you. tim is straight on. >> let's move on here. let's talk fed ex and grasso kick it off. >> fed ex is the same thing on the back of amazon if you think retailers have a tough time you think ecommerce is not going to have a tough time or it's going to be the shining spot in retail, then you want to be a buyer of ups, a buyer of fed ex i'd be a holder of it. remember, you have cyber monday that's the biggest day for them of the holiday season. >> all right. i'll cut to the chase here. three people on this desk guy, grasso and tim are holding fed ex. b.k. is a lone fold. >> love it. >> tell these three guys why they are wrong. >> they are wrong, because the economy is slowing down. and fed ex is tied to the economy. look at what we had this morning, durable goods orders capital goods orders it's slowing down globally. so this

you ever notice 'em? nope. oh. hmm. do you? a little bit. yeah, well, so what?tice them a little. so what? that's normal. then why don't you? all right. i notice a little. like i noticed your knickknacks. it's... it's something in the room, that's all. doesn't mean i got a thing for knickknacks. so you never wondered if you were? every guy wonders if he is at some point. you sure? yeah. yeah. you wonder, and then you see some breasts, you walk into a wall, and there you go. so... when did you think about it? i don't know. i don't know. i don't remember. you don't remember 'cse you never thought about it. i thought about it! when? tenth grade! go ahead. it was nothing. it's... patrick lopez wrote "you're a gay" in my yearbook. and i thought... maybe i was. just because he wrote that? no. because... patrick lopez was gay, and i thought he would know. what if i don't know? well, you-- you're not! wh...even if you were, well... it wouldn't be the end of the world. you'd still be my brother. my big, homosexual brother. that means a lot to me, raymond. yeah. yeah, yea

including 25 em-puh-guh's highway. what? em-pe-juh, muhpuhguh? muh-puh-guh's? muh -- em-puh-guh's?em-puh-guh's. i'm saying it right, but it just doesn't sound familiar. hmm. ♪ peppejalapeÑos, bacon,shrooms, tomato and avocado. i call it, "the avocado da vinci". create your om'lart with denny's build your own omelette menu. >> jimmy: tonight, music from "fuse" on the sony outdoor stage, keith urban is with us. tomorrow night, lisa kudrow will be here, as will the fascinating malcolm gladwell, and we'll have music from kings of leon too. join us tomorrow. >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is an entrepreneur and entertainer. he's an entrepre-tainer, really. his brand new tv network, revolt just went on the air this week please welcome the relentless sean "diddy" combs. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. >> whoo! >> jimmy: that was an enthusiastic entrance. hey, who are you rooting for in the world series, anybody? >> um -- >> jimmy: red sox the cardinals. are you a yankees' fan? >> yes, definitely a yankees fan. >> jimmy: can't root for the red sox. >> definitely not. >> j

it's our job to mold 'em. mold 'em! heh heh! just don't mold them too much.e for that! because the mind is a terrible thing to waste-- will you shut up? yes, i will. [bell rings] [students chattering] good morning, class. good morning. could everybody please find a seat? find a seat, thank you very much. ok, everybody find a seat. well, good morning. i am mr... heffernan. ok? alrighty. so, uh, if you feel comfortable enough with me, you can call me mr. h. [stapler goes off] ok, uh, well, mr. briley has left an assignment for you. uh, in your textbooks... "america: from colony to country, a dream realized." he wants you guys to, uh, read chapters 3 and 4 about the first continental congress and summarize. now, if there are no questions, everybody can please begin. heh heh! ahem! uh, yes, boy raising his hand? we did that assignment yesterday. y-you did? yeah. uh... mr. briley has it down here for today. well, we did it. i mean, you can test us on it if you want to. uh, no, that, uh, that won't be necessary. ok. so what do we do? um...ok, got it! uh-- everybody

keep 'em where we can see 'em! jane, you all right? oh, never better. i'm just fine. dandy. ooh!anks to us. you were foolish to come here alone. (clicking) (exhales) (tie clatters) you taking pleasure in this? (snip, tie clatters) don't get me wrong. you are a pain in the ass. well, thank you. but i wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you, especially when it would be my fault. well, i'm sure your conscience is clear now. it is. now leave me alone. next time i hear from you, you better be telling me red john is dead. deal. that is a deal. thank you, madeleine. (kisses) you're welcome, patrick. good luck. lisbon... you good here? yeah. you can call for that backup now. ahh! (police radio chatter) you'll pay for this! i won't forget! this is on you! aah! aah! aah! you sure you're all right? the list is down to five names. that is a very manageable number. somehow that doesn't reassure me. we're in the home stretch, lisbon. so, uh, looks like i got it wrong about you. yeah. looks like you did. ah, it's all right. we all make mistakes. i mean, a... a homeland security agent? who w

including 25 em-puh-guh's highway. what? em-pe-juh, muhpuhguh? muh-puh-guh's? muh -- em-puh-guh's? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, i'm here with edward norton and -- [ cheers and applause ] we're going head-to-head in egg russian roulette. higgins, would you like to explain how this works? >> steve: certainly, james. in my hands, i have one dozen eggs. >> jimmy: what's wrong with your voice? [ laughter ] >> steve: eight of -- thank you. >> jimmy: yeah, no problem. >> steve: eight of them have been hard boiled. >> jimmy: oh. >> steve: four of them are still raw. you and edward will take turns selecting one egg at a time, smashing it upon the top of your heads. you won't know which eggs are raw -- [ laughter ] -- and which are hard boiled. once you do that -- >> jimmy: this is a long intro. >> steve: you must smash that egg on top of your head. no one. none. the first to smash two eggs on the top of their head loses. >> jimmy: two raw eggs loses. >> steve: edward harrison norton, as a guest of the show, you will choose the first egg. [ light laughter ] >> it's like

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she touched 'em. debra: come on! that's right!that's rig!ve no reasont why not? because i never nursed them. what the hellare you ta? when they're babies,if you breas they're gonna grow up to beobse. that's why you didn'tbr? that andthe twou were almostthe . we were getting looks. oh, debra, dear,i'm curious. what were they like? uch! they were totally fake. well, well, go on.i mean, t. they were real.they do exis. they'd make a sound.a fores, to make themselves bigger.ny marie did itthe nat. pound cake. a totally stupid procedure.a bos but fantasticwhen d. ohh! whoo-boy. i didn't thinkthat was gonna han after that lookyou gave me down. well, a rule is a rule. you're going on the roa, you gotta getthe proper. young lady.per aboutwhat you ju, mmm... so, ray... do you?'t thinki ne, no. not if you thinkit's stupid. what's that supposedto ? what? nothing. really? hey, you know i like them. yeah. ok, ray, ok. come on! you know i lovebarnes & noble. come on! come on. that's fine, ray. just fine. i love them. don't worry about it. i always loved th

. >> i guess i'll just thank my friends and then you can zing 'em from there. it's nice seeing you here, red. uh, dean. >> okay. red's the only man i know who ever went to the salvation army and never got a dinner. >> you see how good it is when your hitman's an italian? >> we only roasted the ones we love. >> it's unusual to have the guy sitting there while you're crucifying him. >> i don't think there were any comedians at the time who were anyone who were not on these roasts. >> to think that all these lovely people flew all the way to las vegas and got all dressed up and came down here just to insult me. >> grab a seat on the dais for the hottest, mt hilarious party in town. introducing the dean martin celebrity roasts from starvista entertainment and time life. when dean called, the biggest stars in hollywood put on their tuxedos, caught the next flight to vegas, and left their egos at home. >> don rickles always reminds me of a blindfolded massage lady. >> a blindfolded massage lady? >> you never know where she's gonna strike next. >> i would like to say

(normal voice) if he goes for my face, don't let 'em rebuild it with that putty. it never looks natural. (man over p.a.) frankie, you have a call on line 1. axl can't find his jeans. said it's your fault. you were supposed to wash them. why are you trying to ruin his life? tell him to look in the basket on the-- never mind. he found 'em. hey, how is axl doing? is he still dating that cheerleader girl? no, thank god. (frankie) the past few months had been a roller coaster of pain. axl's first love, morgan, had broken up with him, leaving him heartbroken. and then just when he'd finally bounced back... morgan and i are back together! she broke up with me. she loves me! she loves me too much. she's willing to take me back if i can change. i think i can. she doesn't like the person that i've become... (sniffling) so i totally broke up with her. no matter what anyone tells you, it was me, my decision, and i feel so good about it. (bag thuds) (sobbing) anyway, i'm just glad it's finally over. i have had it with her. you don't know what it's like to watch your kid get hu

. >>> es demÓcrata dice quex 2e7b der el lÍmite de la deu por manas, es muy poco em >>>lÍmitee la deudaia sÍan graves que estados unidos pase a r a naciÓn morosa con su deuda >>> muchos demÓcratas dijeron que no van a negociar hasta que el gobierno no regrese a sus funciones normales. bien, hay reportes que dicen que el presidente no rechazÓ y no aceptÓ tampoco la oferta republicana. lo mÁs probable es ea la casa blanca estÉ haciendo lmadas, al liderazgo demÓcrata, para ver como van a proceder. mary, regres ntigo. >>> muchÍmas aciasori los agentes deduana y precciÓn fronteriza en arizona, estÁn la mira acusados de cometer abusos, muchas veces muy lejos de la frontera. a decenade millase la frontera. laniÓn amerina de libertades civiles dio una queja normal a las agencias federale detalle yanked incidentes. esto lleva Écadas pasando. carl botifoll tiene todo a ntinuaciÓn en ee reportaje. como parte de su estrategia para capturar a indocumentados y traficantes de drogas agentes derales l departamento aduanas yrotecciÓn fronteriza, montan retenes y concen patrullajes, a vec mÁs de 60 milla

kill 'em. all right, cora simmons!onic feedback] >> ♪ why should i feel discouraged ♪ ♪ and why should the shadows come? ♪ ♪ why should my heart feel lonely ♪ ♪ long for heaven and home ♪ when jesus is my portion? ♪ a constant friend is he >> we're running out of time. >> ♪ his eyes are on the sparrow ♪ ♪ and i know he watches me >> come on. >> ♪ i sing because i'm happy ♪ i sing because i'm free >> ♪ because i'm free >> ♪ oh, his eyes are on the sparrow ♪ ♪ and i know he watches me >> yeah. cora simmons! >> it's my song! it's my song! >> cora simmons. all right! cora simmons! y'all, give it up! phone lines are blowing up! yes! yes! lookit there! >> stay tuned, folks. we are swiftly closing in on achieving our goal--$100,000! >> whoo! >> whoo-hoo! >> whoo! >> and when we come back... >> yes! >> ...none other than mack tight is gonna come out here and put us over the top! >> yes! >> whoo-hoo! >> about that, about that. [whispering indistinctly] >> what the [bleep]?! >> sasha. >> after these messages... >> ♪ we'll be rig

no sign of 'em here. shh. [footsteps] clear. check the next room. (shaw) i got eyes on two tangos, finch. i'm taking 'em out. absolutely not! if anything happened to you, ms. zhirova would be defenseless. let mr. reese worry about the kidnappers. you just get the girl out of there. now. shh. we can handle it. all right. come on. there they are! run! let's move! this way. it's okay. i'm in here all the time. (gen) my listening station. we should be safe here. you did all this? told you i was a spy. but i didn't do this. finch. i think i might know what this is all about. gen has this whole building wired, and it looks like someone found out what she was up to. any idea who? did any of the people you ever recorded talk about committing any crimes? lots of them. i bugged anyone who looked suspicious. did it ever occur to you that that might have been a really bad idea? i was just trying to get the drug dealers out of my building. did you give the tapes to anyone? not yet. new york's just like russia-- you can't trust the cops. i was waiting till i had

. >> sÍ, es un prototipo em, no se supone que deberÍa existir. >> ¿quÉ es em? se gastaron millones, y luego dijeron que era fÍsicamente imposible. >> me pareciÓ, muy reales. tal vez cyrez, encontrÓ un mejor postor. >> tienen contactos por todas partes, defensa, la cia, nsa, tal vez estÁ dentro de su propia Área. (sonido ambiente). >> ¿aÚn quiere eliminarlos? (sonido ambiente). >> sÍ. >> mm, la ocultarÉ hasta la >> mm, la ocultarÉ hasta la audiencia, nadie sabrÁ dÓnde, ni mi jefe, ni protes, ni nadie. >> ¿puede hacerl >> sabÍan que esta iba a ser una sentencia de muerte para usted, y la dejaron ir directa a ella. >> mm, fui muy estÚpida. >> usted confiÓ en ellos, es todo. ahora confÍe en mi. ♪

so once they dry, they just eat 'em right off? yes. now, what is this?h, that's about a week's supply of red chili for a common new mexican family. a week's supply? this would last me a lifetime. oh, yes, well, i eat chili with every meal, as do many of my fellow new mexicans. let me take you to a new mexican restaurant. we can try some of the dishes. sounds great. so what do you recommend? well, they're famous for their carne adovada. sounds good. what else should we order? we should try the enchilada plate. bring it on, let's try that. that was delicious, but now it's time to go to work. nice backyard. i like the patio. hey, nick. hi, roger. thanks for coming to albuquerque. i'd like you to meet stephanie walker from the chile pepper institute. hi, nick, nice to meet you. nice to meet you too, stephanie. so, you want to grow some chili peppers. we do. we love chilies, we eat 'em all the time, so we've been thinking about a home chili garden, but we just don't know how to grow them. well, let's take a look at what we have here. this is a beautiful area

just separate, add hot dogs, cheese, roll 'em up, and bake. lookin' hot, c-dog.e. he loves me not. he loves me. he loves me not. ♪ he loves me! that's right. [ mom ] warm and flaky in 15, everyone loves pillsbury grands! [ girl ] make dinner pop! to those who've been denied eewelcome to covered california. now, you can no longer be denied coverage because of a pre-existing condition. enroll today at coveredca.com. >> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by sony >> jimmy: i'd like to thank dax shepard, kelly rowland. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next, but first, the song is called "dreaming" from their self-titled ep - "smallpools" [ applause ] ♪ i see the place that we've been locked together ♪ ♪ together like we were something more ♪ ♪ and it felt like maybe we could last forever ♪ forever but you led 'em to our ♪ ♪ hideout ♪ forced their way inside now they want us to surrender ♪ ♪ us to surrender but i could go all night ♪ ♪ right here between their crossfire we'll send em up a message ♪ ♪ i'll send a message sayi

once you shake 'em, you can't shake 'em. [ female announcer ] only aveeno daily moisturizing lotion hasn active naturals oat formula that creates a moisture reserve so skin can replenish itself. aveeno® naturally beautiful results. aveeno® - is it true that you're making dwight the manager? - no. why would you think that? - well, he and kelly said, then they pre-fired me. - okay. okay, guys, just so you all know, no decision has been made. and dwight is definitely not the boss. - that is correct. actually, dwight is not the manager yet. - no, no, no, not--not ever, 'cause that's not gonna happen. - well, it's not entirely up to you, is it? seems to me like someone is getting a little power mad. - am i the only one who remembers what he did when he was in charge? i feel like i'm going a little bit crazy. - tuna... you're completely sane. - thank you. - who do you like for the job? is there anyone who maybe was a little underwhelming at first but now seems like a safe... if not slightly unexciting choice? - okay. it seems like everybody has an opinion, so who else? anybody? - do you mean

had 'em. and the littleeclairs were-- had 'em.'m amazedat how much i can get done in the morningwi. i played bridge,i jazzercized, and, look, origami. mr. sassa thinks i havenatural . what's thismade? paper. oh. and tomorrow we're makinglotus . you should come. no, i don't know, ma. some scuttlebuttabo. ooh! and bingo starts at 4:00. myself at 3:00. hang come on. it'll be fun. at least you could sitwith me f. nah. marie, marie! here's mein my we. oh, isn't that beautiful! dear, this is mary beth yarosh from jazzercise.

this is just one of 'em.zel roll, our new bacon avocado chicken sandwich comes with fries and your choice of soup or salad. it's just one of chili's delicious lunch break combos. more life happens here. okay, just summarize. okay, fire-able offenses include workplace violence and sexual harassment. that's it. that's it, perfect. we will get him to hit on somebody, and then we'll catch him in the act. i love catching people in the act. mm. that's why i always whip open doors. me too. okay, let's get this started. okay. what are you doing? i am the bait. for what? menind me desirable. no, no, no. oh, it's a good day too. i'm wearing my mustard shirt. you're the bait for toby? mm-hmm. no. for one thing, he's not gay. and if somebody were to be bait, it would be jim or ryan, or me. men find me desirable. yes. sure they do, dwight. when it comes down to it, it's a health issue. i should've written that. mm-hmm, yeah. why aren't you as mad or interested in this as me? oh, totally. sorry, are we talking about the mi

and my rock 'em sock 'em robots.you blowtorched with a cigarette lighter and mom's aqua net. oh, yeah, the "fire"-bird. anyway, i loved that model, and now i'm gonna have it again. i am gonna have it again, right? relax. if i destroy any of your cars, it'll be that oil-dripping piece of crap ♪ here in my car ♪ i can only receive ♪ i can listen to you ♪ it keeps me stable for days ♪ ♪ in cars... i'm worried about my brother. why? well, he's either so lonely, he's trying to recapture his childhood, which was not that good in the first place, or he's created an elaborate ruse to hide the fact that he's become a degenerate glue-sniffer. to be honest, i'm rootin' for the glue. you know, i've been meaning to talk to you about him. you want him gone, he's gone. that's how much i love you. no, no, he's a wonderful guy. i actually have a friend that i think might be a good match for him. oh, no, you're wrong. listen... ♪ ...started to think ♪ about leaving tonight ♪ although nothing seemed... ♪ you don't want to do that to a

if you're looking for the best videos from the web, we got 'em, "right this minute." >> cops almost have the suspect conered, but then, the crazy chase leading to one wiemd ending. >> a free free skier goes down in an avalanche. >> did he have any equipment? >> the answer to that saves his life. >> and an arson fire. >> how cameras blew the whole case open. >> and how his dad is a -- >> -- life long cincinnati fan. >> now meet the guys behind the surprise. >> in michigan, it's all caught on camera. and that's the guy we're looking for. you see a white bmw just ahead of this police cruiser and he is on the run. according to reports, the driver is 36-year-old brian lackston and he was allegedly just involved in a shoplifting incident at a local walmart. when police were called in and approached him, he skidadled. eventu eventually you see him start to slow down. that's because officers have put down stop sticks. pulls a u-y. and then he starts going in residential areas. watch, he pulls right past them. one officers tries to back up. he almost hits that guy but he keeps going. cops continu

. >>> es demÓcrata dice quex 2e7b der el lÍmite de la deu por manas, es muy poco em >>>lÍmitee la deudapasado 47 veces en el pasadoin condiciÓ >>> las consecucia sÍan graves que estados unidos pase a r a naciÓn morosa con su deuda >>> muchos demÓcratas dijeron que no van a negociar hasta que el gobierno no regrese a sus funciones normales. bien, hay reportes que dicen que el presidente no rechazÓ y no aceptÓ tampoco la oferta republicana. lo mÁs probable es ea la casa blanca estÉ haciendo lmadas, al liderazgo demÓcrata, para ver como van a proceder. mary, regres ntigo. >>> muchÍmas aciasori los agentes deduana y precciÓn fronteriza en arizona, estÁn la mira acusados de cometer abusos, muchas veces muy lejos de la frontera. a decenade millase la frontera. laniÓn amerina de libertades civiles dio una queja normal a las agencias federale detalle yanked incidentes. esto lleva Écadas pasando. carl botifoll tiene todo a ntinuaciÓn en ee reportaje. como parte de su estrategia para capturar a indocumentados y traficantes de drogas agentes derales l departamento aduanas yrotecciÓn fronteriza, mo

for just $1 million you can enjoy the colbert u-pick-'em blood diamond experience. ( laughter ) complauz it begins with being whisked away-- ( cheers ) whisked away in the defend night to our exclusive mine in an undisclosed location in the congalese bush where you get the most immersive gem stone experience money can buy. you'll spend all day and night surround by gems. you'll be practically buried in diamonds. plus you'll receive round-the-clock hands-on guidance from our quality assurance team. and your kids can join in the fun, too, by exploring our diamond adventure play shafts. there's always more fun down there, kids. just keep digging for it. make no mistake, the colbert u-pick-'em blood diamond experience is so unique, you'll never want to leave-- which is good. we'll be right back. ( applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my guest tonight is sitting over there. i should go talk to him. please welcome a. scott berg! ( cheers and applause ) whooo! i'm sorry. i didn't mean to psyche you out there. sometimes they deserve double dips over there. this is a great crowd tonigh

dreaming ♪ ♪ then give it up give it up ♪ ♪ oh whoa-oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ oh whoa-oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ but you led 'emsurrender ♪ ♪ us to surrender but i could go all night ♪ ♪ right here between their crossfire ♪ m we'll send 'em up a message i'll send a message ♪ ♪ sayin' give it up give it up ♪ ♪ we've got no place to go caught up in the rodeo ♪ ♪ oh no, please god tell me we're dreaming ♪ ♪ ve got nowhere to run they've all got loaded guns ♪ ♪ oh no, please god tell me we're dreaming ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ah ah ah ♪ ♪ please god tell me we're dreaming ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ah ah ah ♪ ♪ please god tell me we're dreaming ♪ [ applause ] >>> tonight on night line, did he know or didn't he? for the first time, president obama responds to questions about the controversial spy scandal. we caught up with the president in an abc news fusion exclusive. it's already been a rough week. >> and that's why i'm initiating a review to be sure that what they're able to do is not necessarily what they should be doing. >> chris brown charged with assault, again. accused of punching a man in the nose. but that didn't stop his fans from s

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break 'em up!enty for cole who struck out matt holliday in the fourth with a 97-mile-per-hour fastball. john jay goes down swinging in the 5th. swinging. two hits, one run, five strikeouts for the ucla product. pirates win 7-1 to even that series at 1. >>> boston has been strong this season going from worst to first. the rays had all sorts of trouble in the outfield at fenway. will meyers let's a david ortiz flyball bounce over the short wall in right. this play would be costly. next batter jonny gomes banged one off the monster in left. ortiz and pedroia scored to tie the game at 2. 5-2 boston if the 5th. saltalamacchia another shot off the wall. sean rodriguez with a misplay. two runs score 7-2 boston and they win 12-2! 1-0 series lead for boston. >>> magic johnson dodgers trying to take a 2-0 lead against the braves. but in the 7th, atlanta already up a run. jason hayward off rodriguez two runs score on the single. and the braves win. >>> we go from that switch it over to a little football for y

she used to be a forc rebbe em. em-- rebel.he was given a shotgun and sent into combat at 11. >> the first time was very hard i started to cry. even if i was strained i panicked when i heard gunshots everywhere. you need to understand you need to fight or die. it's your life or theres. >> she escaped five years later after being injured and left for dead. she is one of 50,000 former leftist rebels and paramilitaries that are trying to enter seat. society. they are given training and psychological support and financial aid. if the ongoing peace talks are successful the government expects they'll have a thousand more rebels to rehabilitate. they have opened offices all over the country with over 800 workers. >> many who arrive are il illiterate. >> we feed to teach them the basic aspects of living in society. how to cross the street or how a street light works or how to stay in line at the bank. most have some trauma. ex-combacombatants spend time ie program finding acceptance in a job is a different story. every day on average f

just separate, add hot dogs, cheese, roll 'em up, and bake. lookin' hot, c-dog. pillsbury crescents. make dinner pop. but press them flat, add sauce... and some pepperoni and cheese... and school nights turn into grands mini pizza nights. pillsbury grands biscuits. make dinner pop! >>> american scott carpenter has died. seen here was the fourth american astronaut to fly in space and the second to orbit. earth. he died this morning in denver. he was 88 years old. >>> president obama met with a group at the white house to discuss the government shut down and a new plan to raise the debt ceiling. wall street soared higher. the dow rose 323 points more than 2%. it's the biggest this year. nasdaq up 82 points. we get coverage from karen in washington. >> i meeting between president obama, vice president and the house leadership to would soon be reached to but john left the white house and returned to the capital without speaking to reporters. described the meeting as positive. >> we had a very useful meeting it was clarifying as to where we are and the take away from

. >>> if you can't beat 'em, cheat 'em.ccinelli is doing in virginia. next. bold has a huge imagination. a playground of innovation, color, and design. showing up where we least expect it. and taking inspiration from our wildest dreams. because kohler doesn't see the world in fixtures and faucets. it reimagines. coloring our lives in ways only bold could do, it's no wonder the world can't wait to see what kohler does next. >>> we're back with some very bad news for ken cuccinelli. remember him? he's the far right attorney general in virginia who's running for governor. one of the most extreme political candidates in the country. but today new signs that voters are rejecting his radical views. in the latest nbc news/maris poll, mccauliffe leads cuccinelli by eight points. now he's trying to do what republicans always try to do when they're losing. change the rules. the state board of elections recently announced plans to purge nearly 60,000 voters from the rolls in virginia. and it was just revealed that 40,000 from that lis

just separate, add hot dogs, cheese, roll 'em up, and bake. lookin' hot, c-dog. pillsbury crescents. make dinner pop. i'm, like, totally not down with change. but i had to change to bounce dryer bars. one bar freshens more loads than these two bottles. i am so gonna tell everyone. [ male announcer ] how do you get your bounce? [ woman ] time for change! >>> firefighters built containment lines sunday to try and stop the wind-whipped wildfire at camp pendleton in california. the fire broke out saturday and has burned nearly foursquare miles and forced an evacuation of part of the military base. the fire damaged vehicles and buildings. the cause is under investigation. >>> and at least eight people are dead including three children in a monster truck accident in mexico. amateur video shows the truck crushing several smaller trucks and then careening into the crowd on saturday. more were hurt. investigators say alcohol was detected on the driver's breath and he's being held on the suspicion of manslaughter. >>> and a multicar wreck on the grand prix of houston fanse

nah lazarus who is a new york -- 'em na emma la. give me your poor your tired your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. that was the spirit of ellis island certainly for the majority of its life, when the majority of people coming through here yearned for a new life. many of them headed through here. >> john terrett, thank you very much. >>> are storms and travel conditions. >> thank you very much del. we have a storm moving through northwest and much cooler air push over the region. more comfortable across the plains you can see motionly clear skies, we do have some clouds pushing in from the northwest later in the day. this colder air is going the culminate with the warmer air pushing from the south and we could see potentially severe thunderstorms. look how chilly in bismarck, only 33°. snow across portions of wyoming and montana actually it is snowing right now in billings all the way to helena. along i-15 you want to use caution. the friction between these two air masses is going to produce some volatile storms capable of p

fire and ems communications put out the first emergency call. it was 2:23 p.m. it all started when the woman tried to drive into the white house security entrance. her car hit a bike rack and then a secret service officer. the suspect fled to the capitol where she jumped from the curve. >> i don't know how she was able to back her car up and get out of that but she was. as soon as she reversed it and tried to get away, that's when police fired at her. >> an officer was injured, the time of the emergency call, 2:28 p.m. >> we have an officer in a vehicle lost control. he's trapped. >> the officer was medevaced from the scene. a short distance away, the suspect was shot and killed. the time of the call, 2:29. >> we have news reports of shots fired near the capitol. all units respond. >> the suspect died on the scene and now the question that needs to be asked is what was her reason for doing this? doreen and jim? the capitol police officer was just released about an hour ago. >> doreen, his actions were called heroic. tonight, that capitol police officer walks awh