so one antidote is schroeder and epley call perspect of getting where you is. take the time to ask people good questions like what are you going through? tell me more. what would you me to know? and that is very helpful because for two reasons. first, we have nothing to do it. these studies say about talk about, you know, they kind of reveal what we're failing to do in the in the control group. we're often failing. ask people what their perspective is. schroeder and epley show in a lot of studies that we are we overestimate our ability. imagine the perspective of others. we fail to get it, ask questions. so one of my favorite examples of perspective getting is from a study jason account of food and greg walton and others beautiful study. i'm going to make a long story short there. they're looking at children who have been in a juvenile detention center and are trying to reintegrate back into high school. and they do a lot things, including values, affirmations for the kids and social belonging, sharing about the difficulty of this transition. but the other thin