the now i will raise my children, when you integrate children in this whole equasion, things change.children up now i will press education. >> the reality is it's very difficult where people from two different backgrounds come together. it doesn't make it impossible. you have to recreate yourself. you have to believe in your self, if you want you can go and get an education, so you can get a better job. but you have to see what you can contribute in that relationship that is equal to what she does. if you can't put the money in, then can you be there with the child? if you can't have the educati educational attainment --. >> where does the healing begin? >> it starts within. who you choose to hlove means yu have to deal with whatever situation you find yourself in who you choose to be with. the fact the black women say they can't find a man they want to be with, the fact black men say that, that is their truth in that moment according to what they live and feel. the reality is simpler, our emotional selves need the kind of serious, vigorous community work it a collective effort. my p