it's very hard, you know, because of the criticism and everhing, but once i p it in my mind i'm goingr who i am, my family, and who accepts me, criticism is always going to be out there and sometimes i feel like i'm the brave one because i have the guts to be who i am. i live my life and i live how i am but it's really, really hard. >> do you want me to make a -- i need a reason to be. >> she's a big girl. >> girl. size 20, honey. >> mod q was also known for its hospitality. charles barber, who was in on multiple charges of fraud and grand theft to what he had pled not guilty offered us one of his homemade commissary snacks. >> this is top ramen. >> it consists of cheetoes, and gorditas. >> you eat this, and this is what you get. >> no. i'm the opposite. i lost like 100 pounds. >> think about the scale. >> 201? >> i'm 279. >> and still growing. >> and they told me to lose some weight, but i don't care. >> in mod q the relations are absolutely different than from other mods because in other mods you've got this high-intensity game politicking atmosphere going on and mod q where it's mo