you know, and we still have expectatio expectations. i know i always dragged around what i thought his expectations were and i think i referred to them in my mem ors as a brooding om any presence. it was the 25th anniversary of his death. this week is the 40th anniversary of the assassination of dr. king and it's just, there's some things that always are there. that date. is always there. and very poignant. the events of 1968, april of '68, are always there. poignant. the assassination of bobby kennedy is always there. in 1968. the assassination of john f. kennedy is always there. some of these big events like the death of my grandparents and that ones i've mentioned, are always there. there are some others. you never kind of forget them as reference points, so, the person of my grandfather, even to this day, never evaporates. it's always there. that's why when you ask earlier about the early influences, i go right back to that source. because you read mitchy, thomas e qui nas, your philosophy professors, you meet people over the years.