>> jimmy: roots, roots, roots. >> jimmy fallone. what's up, fallone?ah, yeah. now, i was going to ask you, how's your animal is doing. >> boy, you act like you never been to the zoo or something. [ laughter ] every time i come on the show, you act like i'm the black jack hanna. [ laughter ] come one, man. they all right. they cool. who doesn't have sharks and snakes and scorpions and -- >> jimmy: yeah, spiders. >> blood-eating tarantulas and stuff? who doesn't have that stuff? i'm from the hood. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it intrigues me because why do you have all those spiders and things and --? >> for protection. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's a spider going to do? >> bite them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: if somebody breaks in your apartment, the spider just crawls up? >> yeah, they don't want no parts of him, that's hank. [ laughter ] hank ain't an ordinary spider. hank can fight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait a second. >> he used to train, yeah, he used to spar with mike tyson. [ laughter ] it's a small world. he fought tony tubbs too. he was a co

and late-night funny man jimmy fallon was in d.c. he spoke to news4 about his days on "snl," and if we can expect to see him back on that show anytime soon. hakem, what gout. >> d.c. trying to deal with the dynamo in houston. the woman's lacrosse team trying to continue their run. and plus could the nationals overcome in blunder by center fielder nyjer morgan? we'll tell you when >>> d.c. aimed are expanding a bike-sharing program. all going to create 15 bike-sharing stations. while updated ten existing stations and adabout 19 more. when completed by this fall nearly 1,100 bikes will be available for riders to drop off on either side of the potomac. officials say the money spent on the bike stations will be recouped. their membership sales, advertising and sponsorships. >>> it was a special ceremony for a local vet today, for a brave act nearly two decades ago. specialist dan keyes was awarded the air medal in manassas today. the army is now honoring his part a combat mission in iraq that happened back in 1991. keyes was a door gunne

jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! that's what i'm talking about. thank you very much. how you guys feeling tonight? you guys feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] monday night right here in new york city. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. so, did you guys catch the big "lost" finale last night? [ cheers ] don't worry, don't worry. i will not tell what you happened. because i have no idea what happened. [ laughter ] it's pretty hard for the fans of "lost" now that it's finally over. if people want to get their fix, they'll have follow that other group that's lost and confused in the middle of the of the ocean, you know, bp. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] actually a lot of good shows are ending this week, "lost," "24" and "law & order," yeah. bad news for fans of drama, but "glee" is still on. if you're a fan of -- [ cheers ] "glee" is on if y

[ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome to "late night" with jimmy fallon," everybody. have you guys been following the whole immigration thing in arizona? [ scattered applause ] well, at a rally in arizona this weekend sarah palin said, "we're all arizonans now." [ light laughter ] at which point every immigrant in arizona was like, "so we can stay? is that -- no, still?" [ laughter ] here's some big tv news. fox has the super bowl this year. and they just announced they're going to air an episode of "glee" right after it. [ cheers and applause ] that'll be fun. so, in one night you can find out which of your friends are rooting for the other team and which one is actually playing for it. [ laughter and applause ] of course, everyone's still talking about this oil disaster. in a new interview, bp's ceo tony heyward said that, "the gulf coast oil spill is relatively tiny compared to the very big ocean." [ laughter ] seriously? that's like telling someone who's just been shot not to worry about the bullet because they're really, really fat. [ laughter ] that's like, no,

welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." how you guys feeling tonight? you feeling good? cheers and applause ] thank you very much. let's go right to the news. welcome. it's rumored that six pages from the script of "the lost" series season finale have leaked online. b.p. executives were like, "oh my god, that's definitely the worst leak of all time, right? anyone? [ laughter ] that's definitely the leak story of the day. yeah, i can't believe." you guys been following the whole oil disaster? >> audience: yeah. >> jimmy: well, scientists are predicting that the oil from the b.p. spill will eventually reach the shores of florida. so if you hated visiting your grandparents before, wait until you're hosing down their oily bodies after a long day at the beach. [ laughter ] hey, we caught a suspect in the failed times square attack. that's right. [ cheers and applause ] the suspect in the failed bombing says he acted alone. yeah, really alone. even his bomb wasn't in on it. [ laughter ] "was i supposed to do something?" speaking of terrorism, two new videos from the pakistani

i have talked numerous times to admiral fallon about this need. this is really just a band-aidd to the larger wound of this bill. the greater and more substantial solution would be for the u.s. army corps of engineers to work with our state to build up and extend the beer made from material dredged from the immediate areas. bp should appropriately pay the bill. to prevent this type of incident from ever happening again, i have also worked with other gulf coast senators toointroduce legislation that introduced -- address is two specific areas. the iability cap for the responsibile party and greater prepared this to address future incidents more rapidly. our assistance pact would establish a new liability cap equal to the last four quarters of the rrsponsible parties profits or double the current limit, whichever is greater. the bill would establish much greater reserve requirements for the amount of boom and would effectively capped the llaks like the one currently gushing in the gulf. that would make a killing safer, smarrer, and more reeiable, bu

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? thank you, roots. thank you very, very much, everybody. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." what a great crowd. welcome to our show. thank you for coming out. let's get right to the news, everybody. let's get right to the news. in a new interview on abc's "nightline," jesse james says he's probably the most hated man in the world, yeah, and the ceo of bp was like, "dude, don't flatter yourself." [ laughter ] yeah. today bp executive doug suttles predicted that his company will survive the gulf coast oil spill. seriously? that's like running over someone's dog and going "don't worry, my car is fine." [ laughter ] who cares? who cares if bp is fine? [ cheers and applause ] you hear what they said? bp said today -- "in worst case scenario, it would take until august to clean up the gulf coast." that's not so bad. i mean who go

welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." you guys are feeling good tonight, i know. i can feel it. [ cheers and applause ] good, let's get right to the news here. after meeting with his deficit commission today, president obama said that it's a lot easier to spend a dollar than it is to save one. [ light laughter ] even the deficit commission was like, "who invited grandpa?" [ laughter ] it's pretty crazy. a dog spa is opening here if new york. a dog spa, yeah. going to offer spa baths, facials and manicures for dogs. [ light laughter ] yeah. male dogs were like, "oh, great, while don't you just cut off my -- oh, my god! when did this happen? when did this happen?" that's right. the dog spa offers facials, pedicures and even a doggy disco. [ light laughter ] would you like to order a spa day for your dog, it is very easy. just text f-u to haiti. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it's very easy. "five dollars, i can do what? yeah, i can spend 150 bucks. my dog wants to dance. right?" [ laughter ] "woo-hoo! see if he wants to dance. oh, no. he just wanted to eat som

admiral fallon. >> thank you very much. this is an unusual turn of events for me. most of my previous appearances up here i was facing the diocese and the committee and the cameras were looking at the back of my head. i hope this is not too frightening to the audience. [laughter] i want to thank senators kerry and lieberman for the honor of being with you today and to salute the efforts of yourselves and your colleagues, senator lindsey graham, for your dedicated work in the most collaborative an inclusive matter to try and address some critical issues that affect not only our country but people throughout the world. these several related issues that are of great import to the american citizens and others are energy, climate, and national security. the energy consumptions in this country continues to increase and relies on fossil fuels, particularly for power generation and for transportation with motor vehicles, it is accelerating climate change and this carbon pollution that is resulting in greenhouse gases and particulates matter, it is causing global warming. a

>> that is a good question, let me just say that admiral fallon, who i've worked with every single day, we are holding british petroleum accountable. that accountability effort that we have under way, we have them by the neck and we will keep them by the neck through everything that we have to do here. we have put into place the command center in the oval office. everything is being done. it is humanly and technologically possible to stop the pollution and make sure that the pollution is cleaned up? those who are affected by this are in fact made whole. >> thank you. >> thank you, mr. secretary. >> thank you very much, mr. chairman. >> thank you for coming. thank you for coming. this environmental disaster has destroyed untold natural resources. it will have a devastating impact on the economy of the gulf coast four years or decades to come. the most important thing we need to do is to get this spill under control before it does more damage. tough questions might be asked in the weeks ahead. unconcerned that the government has not taken the lead. too much reliance has been placed on br

we're so happy for our friend jimmy fallon, aren't we?he says, this has been a dream -- this has been a dream come true for me ever since they told me i was going to be hosting the emmy's. we love him. we fight over him. >> we do love him. yesterday we showed you some videotape of -- or pictures, actually, still pictures, of a philly's fan who was ram bunk shs, ran on to the field and got tazed. got tazed for his antics. yesterday another philly's fan ran out on the field and all the fans started yelling tase him, tase him. they didn't tase him. they caught him. >> he didn't keep running, hoda. that was the point. >> this guy probably couldn't run as fast. this would have probably up our whole tase thing. kathie lee is in favor of people being taseed. >> i'm all for it. >> it was never more pronounced than when that granny got tased in texas. watch. he's egging -- she's 80. look at her. she drops like a bag of dirt. it was sad. that was sad. i like granny. you wanted her to get tased. >> i just wanted her to obey the law. and she was so b

i am proud to introduce william fallon, with two commands, including the one for the middle east. admiral fallo9n. [applause] >> senator, thank you very much. this is an unusual turn of events for me, because in most of my previous appearances up here, i was facing the dais and the committee, looking at the backed. i want to thank senator john kerry and to lieberman -- joe lieberman. i want to thank you for your dedicated work in a most inclusive manner to try to address the issues that not only affect our country but people throughout the world. the energy consumption in this area continues to increase and relies on fossil fuels, but cheekily for transportation with motor vehicles. there is accelerating climate change, and there is the carbon pollution that is resulting in greenhouse gases and particulates matter. it is causing global warming. this defect is resulting in changes in the atmosphere, not only to the atmosphere but particularly to what to supplies and related aspects of water throughout the world, and this portends a significant challenge, i believe, to national secu