and here he is -- jimmy fallon!heers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hey, everybody! thank you. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. happy valentine's day, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] happy valentine's day. oh, yeah. it's so exciting. everyone on the campaign trail is celebrating with their sweetheart. rick santorum and his wife, karen, newt gingrich and his wife, callista, mitt romney and his swiss bank account. [ laughter ] everybody -- today, president obama urged men to go big for valentine's day. [ laughter ] no, he did. he already urged men to go big on valentine's day. in fact, obama bought michelle the nicest bracelet china's money could buy. [ laughter ] he really went all out. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: went all out. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: go for it, yeah. did you see this? one of the awards at this week's westminster dog show went to martha stewart'

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!heers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much! thank you very much! thank you for having me. thank you for having me here, you guys. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. i'm so excited. so excited to be here in indianapolis. [ cheers and applause ] look at all these guys. everyone's been treating us so great all day. people are coming up to me on the streets going, "hey, jimmy fallon, do you know where we can find tom brady or eli manning?" and i go, "no." [ laughter ] security around town has been really tight for the super bowl. i mean, this morning, when i got to the theater, this guy gave me a full-body pat-down. luckily, security was there to stop him and take him away. [ laughter ] it was interesting. i'm sure you guys saw this. today, schools here in indianapolis started late, because of a dense fog. [ laughter ] an

♪ [ cheers and applause ] and to my left is the host of nbc's "late night with jimmy fallon," jimmy fallonrtner, jimmy? >> jimmy: also from the new cast of the "celebrity apprentice" and "real housewives of new jersey," my partner is teresa giudice! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and we're all here to play password! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: and i'm your host, steve higgins. the rules of the game are very simple. we'll give each of you a password. then each of you will give a one word clue -- that's one word only -- to get your partner to guess the password. scoring starts at six. take away one point for each time the clue, and remember, no part or form of the password can be used. if a clue is determined illegal as determined by our judges. you'll hear this -- [ buzzer ] and you'll forfeit your turn. team with the most points wins. any questions? do you have any questions? okay, great. first clue -- [ laughter ] goes to donald and jimmy, donald you're gonna go first. >> the password is -- [ laughter ] >> who's going first? >> steve: you, you go first. >> building. >> block. >> tall.

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," you guys. we've got a fun show tonight. it's going to be good. welcome. hey, guys, let's get to the news here. some major, major business news. apple is facing a $38 million fine in china, because the word ipad is trademarked by a chinese company. apple is nervous about owing money to china, but then obama was like, "ah, you get used to it." [ laughter ] this is cool. arnold schwarzenegger and sylvester stallone are teaming up to star in a new action movie. yeah, it will be the first movie where the closed captioning just says, "no idea, bro." [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ imitates stallone ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] how long is this movie? [ imitates stallone ] [ laughter ] [ imitates schwarzenegger ] [ laughter ] get down now! [ imitates gunfire ] [ imitates stallone ] [ laughter ]

-- ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and the peabody award-ward, goes to-to-to -- jimmy fallon-fallon-falloncheers and applause ] >> jimmy: finally you guys, finally, just weeks after announcing she's pregnant, snooki tweeted a picture showing off her new engagement ring. yeah, her fiancee even got it engraved with a romantic phrase, "we had to." [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight, give it up for the roots, right there! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh boy, oh boy. [ cheers and applause ] we have a fantastic show tonight. we have a sexy, sexy show. probably the sexiest show we've ever had. >> steve: i think so. i think -- >> jimmy: can you feel it? [ cheers and applause ] sexy -- we got the fantastic susan sarandon is here! [ cheers and applause ] oh la la. we have victoria secret supermodel adriana lima is here. [ cheers and applause ] and music by patrizio. [ cheers and applause ] patrizio. >> steve: and right said fred. >> jimmy: patrizio. >> steve: and right said fred too, right? >> jimmy: no, right said fred -- they couldn't make it. they were too sexy. they were too sexy.

and now, here he is -- jimmy fallon!heers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! thank you very much! i appreciate it! that's the loudest one yet. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, guys. welcome to "late night," everybody. thank you very much. welcome, everybody. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." you guys, i am so -- [ cheers and applause ] -- excited. feeling good. i'm so excited for super bowl sunday. i'm having the best time here in indianapolis. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. this is nice. i read that 8,000 unpaid volunteers are helping with the super bowl this week. [ cheers and applause ] and these are all people who have free time -- high school kids, retired people, the baltimore ravens. people with nothing -- [ cheers and applause ] people with nothing to do. they have nothing to do. [ cheers and applause ] it's been crazy. more than 500,000 people are here in downtown indianapolis for the super bo

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!ers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice! hey, everybody! thanks for coming out tonight. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon!" oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] gonna have fun. gonna have fun tonight, you guys. hey -- >> audience member: jimmy! >> jimmy: everyone -- nice to see you, sir. [ laughter ] "jimmy!" welcome, my friend. everybody in new york city is still talking about tim tebow coming to the jets. [ cheers and applause ] and listen to this. apparently tebow's looking for a house in the same neighborhood where jets quarterback mark sanchez lives. yeah, it's right at the intersection of "awkward" and "yikes." [ laughter ] speaking of tim tebow, a strip club here in new york is -- [ laughter and applause ] ♪ true story. >> steve: oh, wait, what? >> jimmy: a strip club, here in new york -- >> steve: right. >> jimmy: is offering to give tebow his first lap danc

jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that sounds great. you guys sound great. welcome to the show. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. it's going to be fun tonight. big show. hey, last night, the republicans had their 20th debate. and did you see this? rick perry was actually in the audience. [ laughter ] he was sitting in the audience. it got awkward when he stood up and he was, like, "i just remembered the third department i'd cut! [ laughter ] energy! energy! you guys go back to -- it was energy. that's what i --" the debate got pretty tense. at one point ron paul said that rick santorum is a fake, and santorum responded by saying, "i'm real." [ laughter ] and then romney was, like, "yeah, i'm a real human, too, ha ha ha. let's change the subject. [ laughter ] let's change the subject." did anyone see this? paris hilton just released a music video for her new

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody! nice to see you. thank you for being here. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. welcome. welcome, you guys. i'm so excited for tonight's show. but if it doesn't go well, don't worry. we'll just shake it up and start over like an etch-a-sketch. [ laughter ] >> love you, jimmy! >> jimmy: i love you, too. [ cheers ] did you hear about that thing though? mitt romney's adviser actually compared him to an etch-a-sketch and because of that etch-a-sketch's sales jumped 1500%. [ laughter ] true. or as disney put it, any way you can compare romney to a ticket to "john carter?" [ laughter ] please. hey -- i want to see that movie. it's about a civil war soldier that goes to mars. >> very true. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is -- [ laughter ] this is interesting. a new study found that a growing number of parents regret the na

admiral william fallon on my right former commander of u.s. central command has served as commander in the u.s. pacific command, the u.s. elite forces command in the in and the u.s. atlantic command and down here general david sanger. who knows a whole lot about everything. use the chief washington correspondent for "the new york times," one of the newspapers senior writers and for those who have tweeted he really is a general. [laughter] i forget in this day of the internet there are no jokes. [laughter] in more than 25 years he has reported from new york tokyo and washington and also has a book the inheritance, the world obama confronts and the challenges of american power. we haven't seen his byline a lot lately because in the process of writing another book. let's just start off, what is the new book going to be about? >> the new book is a look at obama administration's national security policies that deals a lot with afghanistan and pakistan. deals a lot with iran as you would imagine and with arab spring and china but mostly as an effort

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you! what a great crowd already! we're off to a great start. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. man, oh, man. it's a big, big, big, big weekend for sports, you guys. big weekend. [ cheers ] this sunday -- this sunday's nfl games will decide which teams are going to the super bowl. yeah. and i haven't been -- [ cheers ] i haven't been following football that closely here, but from what i understand, it will most likely be the new england patriots -- [ cheers ] playing against mitt romney. [ laughter ] and i think -- i don't know if i -- this is cool. if the ravens and the 49ers win this weekend, it could make john and jim harbaugh the first brothers to ever coach against each other in the super bowl. yeah. the winner gets a very prestigious prize -- the top bunk. [ laughter ] yeah, the brothers coaching against each other

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, everybody. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. we have a fun night tonight. it's gonna be awesome. we got big election news, you guys. last night mitt romney came in first place in the michigan primary. although he barely won. incidentally, barely one is also the total number of votes ron paul received. [ laughter ] in yesterday's michigan primary, newt gingrich actually came in fourth place. or as the ice cream in his freezer put it, it's gonna be a long night. [ laughter ] speaking of newt gingrich, yesterday he said that mitt romney is so closed-minded that he would have fired christopher columbus. [ light laughter ] romney denied it, saying, "are you kidding me? a man with three boats, that's my kind of guy. i like that guy. he's got three -- nina, pinta, i don't care which one. which one we barbecuing

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh. wow. thank you so much. thank you. please -- thank you very much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. we're going to have fun tonight. oh, man, it was a -- it was a tough game for the new york knicks last night. jeremy lin went just 1 for 11 in their loss to miami. yeah, only one success out of 11 attempts. or, as newt gingrich calls that, primary season. [ laughter ] i don't know if you guys saw this -- during vice president biden's speech in north carolina today a man onstage kept falling asleep. [ laughter ] the worst part? it was actually joe biden. [ laughter ] and it was like, "wait a sec, this is -- we're here -- we're here for you." [ applause ] some tv news. last night on "jersey shore," the group went crabbing. [ laughter ] and jwoww seemed to be the best at catching them. [ laughter ] even the crabs were like,

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> jimmy: thank you very much, everyone. it feels good to be here. thank you. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. that's me. welcome. we have a great show tonight. but everybody is talking about new york knicks point guard jeremy lin. [ cheers and applause ] pump it, pump it. last night, he led the knicks to their 7th straight win. yep. soon he's going to be getting all the benefits of being an nba star. he's going to get a salary bump, an endorsement deal, a kardashian. he's just going to -- [ laughter ] -- all come rolling in. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: hey, you guys, some political news. during a speech yesterday, president obama said, "ask what you can do to bring jobs back to your country, and your country will do everything we can to help you succeed." then, he added, "speaking of jobs, anyone know of a good speechwriter because

and like admiral fallon said, we're not in their head, we don't know how they're looking at these problems. it's difficult to say, this is what i'm going to do, and this is what they're going to do. >> this is a different situation for israel. that's i'm sure why this thing is super heated or seems to be getting that way. they can't range -- best intelligence i've seen, they had those weapons. >> it's interesting in the past two weeks you've seen two israeli officials, one a senior israeli official both make the claim that the iranians would have the ability to reach the united states with a missile within five years or so. maybe they're right, maybe they're not. usually these things take longer than one would think. it was interesting the israelis felt it necessary to say this publicly. i read that as trying to get iran moved in categories in the obama administration from a general threat to one specific to the united states. perhaps in hopes that would change the way the u.s. dealt with the issue. i don't think that will succeed, but it is interesting. and i think general cartwright said

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!ers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you! wow! gorgeous. thank you very much. thank you very, very much. i appreciate it. how are you doing, buddy? you look fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] you look fantastic. thank you, guys. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." i'm so excited. thank you, again, indianapolis, for having us here. [ cheers and applause ] that feels good. you know, i've been here in indianapolis since saturday. but all the attention has been on the football players. so basically it's like i'm back in high school. and -- [ laughter ] it's been great hanging in indianapolis. i promised myself that i wouldn't pander to our indianapolis crowd with a bunch of local references. and i made that promise while hanging at larry bird's house drinking a root beer from mug 'n' buns, to wash down my shrimp cocktail from st. elmo's steakhouse. [ cheers and applause ] that

how far away are the iranians, admiral fallon had it right when he said that ambiguity is really the iranian's big friend right now. in many ways, having a capability or a near capability is as useful to them or perhaps more useful to them than actually having a weapon. if you think that they actually had a weapon they know what would happen if they used it in an explicit way against israel, the united states, other targets. i think that's unlikely, what they're -- i think if they are interested in a weapon, they would be interested in the influence it gives them in the region. and they would get that influence -- or almost as much of that influence by having the world know they had a capability of building a weapon in a matter of weeks or months. and it keeps them within the nuclear nonproliferation treaty. and it keeps the u.s. intelligence agencies able to say, there's no evidence that iranians have made a political decision to go ahead with a weapon. why would you make a political decision to go ahead with a weapon when you could get many of the same benefits and be just short of