and here he is -- jimmy fallon!or by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody! feeling good. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. hey, this is -- this is exciting. on saturday, mark zuckerberg and his girlfriend got married, one day after facebook raised $16 billion on the stock market. [ laughter ] pretty sweet. zuckerberg listed the ten things he loves about her, while she listed the 16 billion things she loves about him. [ laughter ] it's just -- it's sweet. >> steve: sweet. >> jimmy: that's right. mark zuckerberg got married. their reception was annoying, though. right when everyone got used to the seating arrangement, zuckerberg changed the layout for no reason. [ laughter ] no reason. just -- didn't make it easier. [ cheers and applause ] no reason at all. no one liked it. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: did you see this today? president obama tossed around a football at soldier field, home of the chicago bears.

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!heers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you very, very much, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. hey, did you guys see this? during a speech yesterday, president obama said he's not very good at fixing things around the house. yeah. obama is all right with a hammer, but usually he leaves the screwing to the secret service. get it? [ laughter ] >> steve: oh no you didn't. oh no you didn't. >> jimmy: here's an election update. today mitt romney visited a firehouse here in new york city. of course, he was disappointed when he learned that the firehouse is not where you get the fire people. he's like, "what?" some tech news. today, facebook founder mark zuckerberg announced a new tool that lets users show that they are donors. you know, in case there's a plow accident in farmville. [ laughter ] you got to know these things. [ ap

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, how you doing, everybody? thank you very much! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. welcome. it's going to be a big show tonight. oh, my god. it's gonna be fun. [ cheers ] good tv. speaking of tv, did you guys see this last night? "american idol" was won by 21-year-old philip phillips. [ cheers and applause ] when asked if he was excited, he was like, "definitely, definitely." [ laughter ] philip phillips. some celebrity news. britney spears is planning to launch a new fragrance called fantasy twist. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: fantasy twist? doesn't sound like a fragrance. that sounds like something john travolta gets at the end of a massage. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] oh, you know you like it. come on. that's -- a decent joke. >> steve: oh, boy. [ as travolta ] >> jimmy: "can i get a fantasy twist --" [ laughter ] ♪ sorry. [ as travolta ] sandy -- sandy, give me a fantasy twist --" [ la

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, everybody! thank you so much! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. tonight's a hot show. oh, my gosh. >> i love you, jimmy. >> jimmy: i love you, too. how you doing? [ light laughter ] you guys, here's some political news. during a speech yesterday in ohio, joe biden criticized republicans for not understanding the middle class. in response, mitt romney was like, "that's ridiculous. some of my best friend's gardeners are middle class. that is --" [ laughter ] did you see this? a spokesperson for president obama's campaign says that a new republican attack ad is, quote, "b.s." yeah. then biden was like, "ugh, i hate when you spell out words so i can't understand you." [ laughter ] then an aide said, "i think it's time for somebody to go to b-e-d." [ laughter ] "i don't want to go to sleep." "joe -- [ light laughter ] put on your footy pajamas." [ light lau

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! that's the type of new york city love. [ cheers and applause ] how you feeling tonight? welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. oh, i'm so psyched. it's going to be a great show. [ cheers ] very exciting show tonight. hey, did you guys hear about this? last week, the brakes on president obama's limousine were apparently damaged while he was in georgia. yeah, obama tried to call aaa, while biden tried to call the geico gecko. [ laughter ] speaking of president obama, today he hosted an early cinco de mayo party at the white house. i thought it was weird when he made the guests climb over the fence to get in. [ laughter ] he didn't have to do that. just a weird thing. a weird way to kick off a party. weird. i was just reading about this. qantas airlines will start attaching electronic tags to luggage to keep it from ge

jimmy fallon, jimmy fallon, has so many amazing experiences. you know what?ry thankful. >> he should be! >> what is your problem? >> this is the best show on tv. besides late night. you guys are having so much fun because you're so -- first of all, are you on the hot list this year? because you should be. you should both be on the hot list this year. you guys look gorgeous this morning. >> you're sweet. >> right at twitter? people out there? am i wrong? >> groveling does not -- you do not have to -- >> what is your problem? >> you know what i love? i love those commercials with the little girl. i love her. i don't want her to grow up. because she's going to become like the e-trade baby. pretty soon it is not going to be cute. >> i was thinking maybe you just have the older she gets now she can talk she still says she doesn't want it. she steals the whole commercial. she does. you're supposed to say no. whatever. >> a question about president obama on your show. when you approached the whole idea and you said, hey, we want to slow jam the news. we'd like to yo

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!y vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you for having us. thank you, everyone. thank you for having us. how are you guys doing? unc chapel hill, how you doing? [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." holy crap edition. [ cheers and applause ] i am so excited. this is unbelievable. tonight on the show, we have the president of the united states, barack obama. [ cheers and applause ] unfortunately, though, a lot of people weren't able to get tickets, and that includes students, professors, joe biden. [ laughter ] a lot of people couldn't get in. a very hot ticket. we also have dave matthews performing tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and he -- he wasn't originally the musical guest but we had a last minute cancellation by the 2pac hologram, so -- [ laughter ] hey, this is pretty awesome. i saw that graduation here at unc chapel hill is 19 days away. [ cheers and applause ] so it might be time to pick a major. you

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> jimmy: hey, how are you doing? that's what i'm talking about! [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] tonight is going to be fun. we've got some fun, fun, fun stuff tonight. here's some election news. this week mitt romney started giving speeches while standing in front of a giant u.s. debt clock. [ light laughter ] when asked what it was like campaigning with a large electronic object, the debt clock was like, "not bad. [ laughter ] he's very nice. personable." some tv news. after last night, "american idol" is down to its final two contestants. [ cheers ] that's right, yes. the losing contestant will fade away into obscurity while the winning contestant won't have that happen until around june. [ laughter ] [ applause ] speaking of "american idol," there are reports that jennifer lopez might leave the show after

with a booktv on c-span2 including governor mary fallon's must read for reliable and oklahoma university present and former senator david boren on his letter to america. where books from galileo, copernicus and others from the history of science, action. sunday at 5:00 eastern oklahoma history of american history tv on c-span2. for the oklahoma city bombing memorial with code designer tory blitz sir and a look at african-american life in 1920s oklahoma and american artifacts from special collections at the oklahoma history center. once a month c-span local content vehicles for history and literary life of cities across america. this weekend from oklahoma city on c-span2 and 3. >> now on c-span2 harriet washington once a corporate presence in the medical industry ones buyer issues for patients if drug research is initiated on a for profit basis. this is just over an hour.

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, how are you? thank you so much. it's going to be fun. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. happy friday! [ cheers and applause ] hope you have a great weekend. this sunday is mother's day. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, my mom's the best for years. she fed me, washed my clothes, read me bedtime stories. yeah, but then last year i got my own place. [ light laughter ] so we're going to go out to dinner. hey, i was reading about this, hooter's is offering customers ten free chicken wings on mother's day. [ scattered cheers ] and 45 really uncomfortable minutes with your mom. [ laughter ] you enjoying this. mom? happy mother's day. here's some tv news from the show "cougarton." [ laughter ] >> steve: i don't think that's how you say that. i think it's "cougar town." >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> steve: try it again. >> jimmy: the show

saturday at noon eastern, check in on literary life with book tv on c-span2, including governor mary fallon's must read book. former senator david boren on his letter to america, if also rare books from gail lay low, coperson cuss and others from the history of science collection at ou, and sunday at 5:00 p.m. eastern, oklahoma history on american history tv on c-span3. tour the oklahoma city bombing material with codesigner torre booster. plus a look at african-american life and native american artifacts from the special collections at the oklahoma "history center." once a month, local content vehicles explore sfe cities across america. this many weekend everybody oklahoma city on c-span2 and 3. >> a discussion now on the role of courts in a democracy. a panel of legal scholars examine whether it's possible

jimmy fallon will stop by. >> plus our guys tell all panel is back. and young the giant. >>> i'm jim cramer and welcome to my world. you need to get in the game. firms are going to go out of business, and he's nuts! they're nuts! they know nothing. i always like to say there is a bull market somewhere. "mad money," you can't afford to miss it. hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." welcome to cramerica. other people want to make friends. i'm just trying to save you some money. my job is not just to entertain you, but i'm trying to educate and teach. so call me at 1-800-743-cnbc. the individual investor has seen the enemy, and it isn't herself. it's endless financial engineering and the arrogance associated with it. time and again that's the real issue behind the woes we get so frequently. and while the averages were perfectly copacetic today, dow

you know, don't you love jimmy fallon? going to happen when he's here. >> we'll find out in just a little while. also ahead, "today's" professionals are in the house. star, donny and dr. nancy going to tackle some of the hot topics today, including this one. a woman who texted her boyfriend while she knew he was driving a car. he eventually ended up getting in an accident. should she be held liable because she knew he was driving at the time? they'll talk about that. >> all right. also coming up, we're going to have a very rare and some might say raw interview with two-time academy award winner sean penn. we talked with him in cannes and he had a lot to say not only about his work in haiti, actually in tears at one point but also talked about his work and why he loves making movies and some of his most famous roles. he even talked about his temper. all of that coming up. >> and later on we've got paula deen coming by. she's got some recipes to share. >> davina guthrie is filling in at the news desk while natalie is on assi

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!plause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> jimmy: we have a great show tonight. it's going to be fun. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. it's going to be a fun night. thank you for coming. thank you for watching. hey guys, some news -- some news out of washington. today members of the secret service told the senate that there's an unwritten rule amongst agents that what happens on the road stays on the road. [ laughter ] not to be confused with that written rule that they shouldn't have sex with prostitutes. [ laughter ] >> steve: that's actually written down. >> jimmy: not to be confused with that. >> steve: law, rule. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: check this out you guys, airports here in new york city will start using a hologram to greet passengers. [ laughter ] so if you thought it was -- going through security was weird before, wait 'til you get patted down by tupac. [ laughter ]

jimmy fallon.e ] and they were thinking, why not do a week of shows in new orleans -- have all the former kings of bacchus come on as guests? and then end it with the mardi gras parade. boom. [ cheers and applause ] right? >> jimmy: i will talk to them. >> and i will come and be a guest. >> jimmy: you will? >> assuming i'm available. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: more with will ferrell when we get back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the new taurus is going to blow people away... starting with the guys who built it. i haven't driven it yet. i'm going to try take it easy and warm up slowly. hi. do you get car sick or anything? no, is that a challenge? no, no. so with the 2013 taurus i can pretty much voice command anything. pretty much. you're going to be able to change your radio station, make a phone call. all that you can do with just the sound of your voice. all of it? all of it. never have to take your hands off the wheel. never have to take your hands off the wheel... which is good when you're d

you can't be on entertainment shows doing the slow jam on jimmy fallon, this is the wrong thing. are we to believe that mitt romney wouldn't do stuff like this occasionally? >> i don't think he'd be on "rolling stone" because i think it would burst into flames. >> is it legitimate -- >> i don't think that's quite it. i think he has every right to do it. i don't know if anybody who says he can't do it. at the same time i do think some of that act is wearing thin. you can only be cool so long in american life. >> i watched the correspondents' dinner.

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!l television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody! thank you so much for coming tonight. how you guys feeling? feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] oh, my gosh. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. this is a big, big show tonight. tonight's audience is made up entirely of members of the armed forces, right there. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm a little worried, though, they said every time a joke bombs, i have to drop and give 'em 20. [ light laughter ] so that's going to be tough. guys, here's some election news. next week, mitt romney will campaign in las vegas with donald trump and newt gingrich. [ laughter ] did somebody say "hangover: part iii." that's right, mitt romney will appear in vegas with donald trump and newt gingrich, or as one audience member put it, "worst chippendale's show ever." [ laughter ] "put your hands together for mittens, man boobs and the toup." you guys see this? in a new interview, first la

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hey, everybody. how you doing? thank you! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. going to be a fun show tonight. [ cheers ] >> audience member: i love you jimmy! >> jimmy: i saw that -- i love you too. [ laughter ] i saw that president obama and mitt romney both gave commencement speeches over the last few days. obama was like, "you can be whatever you want to be." while romney was like, "i can be whatever you want me to be." [ laughter ] but, actually, during his commencement speech at liberty university, mitt romney revealed that his campaign staff loves ick-fil-a. [ cheers and applause ] the other thing that he revealed is that he doesn't know what to say in a commencement speech. [ laughter ] you guys, we have chef gordon ramsay on the show tonight! [ cheers and applause ] my man! i thought he burned something backstage. i saw smoke backstage. then i remembered we also have willie nelson on the show tonig

i mean, look at me. [ laughter ] jimmy fallon calls me. be interviewing president barack obama." he says to me. and this was very complimentary of you to say. "i consider you to be one of the best interviewers on the planet. i was wondering if you have any thoughts." and i never would have brought this up. you're bringing it up. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it shows you i've matured. normally i would bring this right up on the air. [ laughter ] but i thought it was very nice of you to contact me. said, "do you have any thoughts on what i could say to president obama. i'm looking for a moment, and you've had many moments through the years as an interviewer." so, you know, i hang up the phone. you e-mailed me first. >> jimmy: yes. >> and i'm reading this e-mail. and i said, you know -- listen, i'm a narcissist and you know me. i'm a competitive guy. i'm somewhat evil. i go, "why should i help him?" i mean, who the hell wants to help jimmy fallon? and what's he worried about? nobody is going to watch the stupid interview anyway? [ laughter ] who the he