(cheers and applause) because when you're done with the fruity pebbles you can just use them... sandbags. because that (bleep), to be honest with you. impervious to moisture. (laughter) made of real colored styrofoam. (laughter) but we are back. (cheers and applause) where did we... let me e ask you a question. where did we leave off? where did we... >> the american people are asking the question whereby the jobs? >> we should be focused on jobs. >> where is the most important issue we face, expanding the economy and creating jobs. >> where ijobs. >> jon: i am so concerned about jobs that i left my job to run for office to create jobs for other... (laughter). i don't know why i did that! now, someone else can take my old job, i'm going to take some other guy's job and that guy can go (bleep) himself. (laughter) good news, though. president obama announced that on the very first day that the government was back in session he would give a speech to both houses of congress on the very pressing topic of jobs. >> there's a republican presidential debate at the same time he wanted to

will just pass a useless, nonbinding resolution declaring disaster rooty tooty, not so fresh and fruity'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight is a legendary magician who i hope can put back together the intern i saw in half. please welcome david copperfield! ( cheers and applause ) hey, good to see you. welcome to show, sir. >> thank you so much. >> stephen: now you're not just any magician. are you an illusionist of over 30 years. you walked through the great wall of china. you flew over grand canyon. you went over niagara in a raft. >> i did. >> stephen: you were declared a living legend by the library of congress. you have been knighted by the french. over 20 emmys. a star on the hollywood walk of fame. >> thank you. >> stephen: and you have just been named the first-ever king of magic and magician of the century by american society of magicians ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you. >> stephen: does a great responsibility come with being king of magicians? >> i suppose. it's very humbling thing. i have

what kind of a fruity name is bode? that cereal has the olympics on it?

will just pass a useless, nonbinding resolution declaring disaster rooty tooty, not so fresh and fruity'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) okay, people, let's get started. pete, did you forget yours? me pete, me use pen! (laughter) sorry i'm late, i was in the 16th century looking for pete's pen. (laughter) guys, guys. take it easy, ok? pete's mom is videochatting me, and she wants her pen back! ok, alright, well. i just got one. so... yeah, you've got a little... yep, i can feel the wet patch. don't look at it. when it's on your mind, it's on ebay. [ kid ] dad? who is honus...wagner? no idea. let me see that. that's a honus wagner autograph... the hall of famer? look at this ball! yeah, found that at a yard sale. i thought pickles would like it. [ dog barks ] that a new car jerry? yeah... sweet, man. [ male announcer ] the audi a8. named best large luxury sedan. ♪ ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight is a legendary magician who i hope can put back together the intern i saw in half. please welcome david copperfield! ( cheers and applause

we we should be mad at that fruity little clubd at th for scrambling his brains.ling s - yeah. - he's right. [applause]lause ) - and in the end, i know that somewhere out there, k there's the good part of chef that's still alive in us all.t - it is working? is it working? worng - yes, we've got a pulse. - it is working? is it working? worng - get him in the i.c.u. suit. hurry! him in that's done it. good, raise him up.good, [mechanical rumbling] [echoing darth vader breathing] chef? can you hear me? say something.say som - darth vader voice: hello there, children. chie how would you like some salisbury steak?somes - yes, go on. - and for dessert, how would you children like to suck ondren my chocolate salty balls? - oh, you mean like a chocolate candy?n like - no, i mean my balls. - yes, yes!. yes ! [cackles] ha haaa captioning by captionmax www.catpionmax.com ed september 13, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show," my na

they have got free -- fruities, fix it up, and i think you -- thank you ♪ president chiu: thank you. there any other speakers in support of the establishment of this district? now, if there are any individuals who wish to speak in opposition of this assessment district, this is the time for you to speak. police stepped up. >> my name is mark, and i am over on the boulevard. i have nothing against this community benefit districts program in its inception, but i do have a problem with the 13- year trial period that it has. i thing -- thing that is entirely too long. i think a 4 or 5-year trial period would be more apropos. there are issues. parking. when people come to shop in west portal, if they do not live by to what to it, they start putting quarters in there, and after about $2, if they are in a shop having something done or eating, they come back and get that, what is it, a $60 ticket? i fortune to have not gotten one and a long time because i do not drive much anymore, but anyway, the only opposition i have is the 13-year trial period. but basically, it is a very good idea. than

kicking back with with some fruity drinks on an island somewhere i mean you know he got out with the wrist slap in the civil suit by the shareholders and there was there was nothing criminal essentially. you know this is this is a larger problem max with with the way the government operates and the way the financial regulatory regime operates is they're they're generally happy to go in. regard lists of how steep the wrongdoing or how clear it is going and settle for a tiny fine which which sadly becomes just the cost of doing business. these companies doesn't really change the modus operandi so that certainly applied to countrywide in spades well it was always there and now you know we see that bank of america has inherited that mess something we warned against when it was going on in two thousand and eight that a potential takeover of course you know i know you know the major bank in the country is going to pay attention so they went and took over this toxic waste dump they thought they were getting it cheap and they you know the joke is on them loftis this junk off to the bank of a

after almost a century, sangria and other fruity alcoholic drinks are back on the menu of colorado bars restaurants. >> so we were talking about this. violators could be find up to $250. yesterday the governor signed bill that reversed this law much to the delight of lawmakers and bartenders. >> how sangria is more dangerous than vodka i don't know. >> i think it was pretty ridiculous. the lay is the law, though. >> by removing the law, it may hope small restaurants and bars who can sometimes make up to $400 a day on infused alcohol drinks. >> think i have had san agree in a bar in california over the years -- sangria in a bar in california over the years. >> me, too. >> it's legal now. >>> nasa satellite on a collision course with earth. where nasa says it won't fall coming up. >>> and almost home. why two hikers released from iran are waiting before they come back to the u.s. >>> plus, police make a big break in a richmond bakery murder. how to led to an officer- involved shooting just a few hours ago. we'll have the latest. >>> and a nurses strike is about to begin in several bay are

fruitis a low hanging grou where we can come to an agreement. host: strange bedfellows.ehrer, walk us through how much money we are talking about. he says it is low hanging fruit. how much money is it? >guest: $380 billion. all of these programs make things worse for people as a whole and worse for our common homeland but natural environment. host: about 1/3 of $1 trillion. the super committee has to come up with about $1.2 trillion in savings. have you presented this to the super committee to say, "here's an area where the two sides can agree and make some cuts"? our real target is the super committee. we want everybody to see this. the super committee is really where we are focused. we're doing events in many super committee districts. various groups have had meetings with super committee staff. there's obviously quite a lot of demand. host: ben schreiber, house republicans want to put forward legislation dealing with streamlining them or delaying them. guest: this is not a report about eliminating regulations or cutting core environmental programs. programs that are h

they will just pass a useless non-binding resolution declaring the disaster not so fresh and fruity.st the hour. time now for the must-read opinion pages. we'll start with paul krugman. entitled "free to die" and in response to what he said at one of the republican debates where it seems people were clapping at inappropriate times. maybe they just really meant it. he writes this. what this means is that modern conservatism is actually a deeply radical movement. one that is hostile to the kind of society we've had for the past three generations, that is a society that acting through government tries to mitigate some of the common hazards of life through such programs as social security, unemployment insurance, medicare, and medicaid. are voters ready to embrace such a radical rejection of the kind of america we've all grown up in? i guess we'll find out next year. want me to move on? >> sure. >> okay. >> i'm not saying a word. >> why not? do you agree? >> what's next? >> washington post, the great ponzi scheme. when franklin roosevelt created social security choosing 65 as the eligibi