before i was ready to, forced by circumstances made of finances but that is not for them to decide, gandalf said. all we have to decide is what to do with the time given us. there were many wonderful things about dubai but none of those fit my skill set or had room for me. not even nyu abu dhabi. there was nothing there for me, nothing i can do full-time that would permit me to build a life there or as i preferred, a life there but reaching everywhere. i broke it grew concerned about the fact of having to leave and i searched for other places to live aside america. i tried hard for istanbul, no such luck. i remember standing outside terminal one and being surprised that it felt familiar but the greatest blows were yet to come. my career had just been interrupted, once back, i applied for countless academic positions, hoping i would get something that would allow me to finish my dissertation before the clock ran out but i received no responses, never mind the courtesy of explicit risk rejection. while i wanted to complete my project, the prospectus for which i submitted and defended i could