music from gary clark jr. who is great, one-and-only simon cowell is with us. simon is, i'm told, simon is backstage right now. sewing nipples into his shirt. he's here to promote a new season of "x-factor" and his inspirational new book "absolutely dreadful, why you suck and why there's absolutely nothing you can do about it." simon is going to be a father soon. a father to a child that is going to have an extremely hard time singing "twinkle twinkle little star" to get daddy to kiss him. according to the new world happiness report which is a real report that comes out every year, the united states is the 17th happiest country in the world. the report says the happiest country in the world is denmark. followed by -- oh, really? >> follow by norway, switzerland, netherlands and sweden. way to go super white people, i guess. you'd be happy too if everyone you knew looked like thor and famke jansen. also ranking happier than the u.s. -- canada, sixth. see how happy they are? costa rica at 12th. and mexico, 16th.

music from gary clark jr.ith cleto and the cletones. and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i am glad you are watching. i am happy to have you here. i have to say, i don't usually have fun, but it was kind of a fun day today. a lot of excitement around our office. those who saw the show last night know we pulled a prank on a lot of people. we made a video of a girl twerking and then what appeared to be accidentally setting herself on fire. and we posted that video on to a private account on youtube. and on its own it took off. in less than a week, millions of views. ran on hundreds of news stations, talking about it on the radio, all over, the milli vanilli of youtube videos. but the funny thing, after everybody ran it thinking it was real. after all the news channels embarrassed themselves running a bonus video today, they ran it again to announce it wasn't real. >> announcer: the hoax that fooled everyone. >> the bi

tomorrow night, simon cowell, stacy keibler and music from gary clark jr. tonight on "night line," the war or words is on from president obama -- >> we are confident that we could prepare for and deal with any potential ramifications. >> to syrian president assad both throwing everything they have into a media blitz. reaching a boiling point. tonight diane sawyer asks the president -- >> is this it? >> in the mississippi delta, they grow to over 700 pounds. for ten days a year, the gator hunters get to take population control into their own hands. we join them in their death te fieing mission. >> 53 hours in the water. how did she do it? or did she? diana's non-stop swim from cuba to florida now being questioned. >> from new york city, this is "night line" with dan abram. >> good evening and thanks for joining us. tonight the verbal war between president obama and syria's president reached a fever pitch. assad in his first interview with an american journalist since the incident denied he was responsible and suggested there would be repu purepercussions i a

♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> gary clark jr., "blak and blu is out now.an find it on jimmykimmel.com. i want to thank simon cowell, stacy keibler. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night, tim gunn and music from preservation jazz band. thank you for watching. "nightline" is next. good night. >>> tonight on "nightline" -- tanned, toned and tough. by day, they're dentists and sales women and moms. at night they're the feisty female football players bringing crowds to stadiums for more than their tackles, but that doesn't come without risk. >>> this rising music star on the verge of striking it big. but he was haunted by his past. until he decided to come clean. what made you go back to the station? tonight, an incredible story of crime and punishment. >>> and step inside hollywood. grand theft auto 5 is out. it's causing millions to stay glued to the couch and parents too worried. if you thought sex sells, wait until you hear about blood, sex and war. >> keep it right here, america. "nig >>> from new york city, this is "nightline" with cynthia mcfadden. >>

long around here and i can't live this life again ♪ ♪ no no no ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> gary clark jrt now. i want to thank simon cowell, stacy keibler. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night, tim gunn and music from preservation jazz band. thank you for watching. "nightline" is next. good night. >>> tonight on "nightline." defining moment. president obama makes his plea to a skeptical american public for military action against syria. >> this would be a targeted strike to achieve a clear objective deterring the use of chemical weapons and degrading assad's capabilities. >> but is it too late? >> we can stop children from being gassed to death and thereby make our own children safer over the long run, i believe we should act. >> clean and simple. 19 firefighters perish, did they have to die? there have never been more forest fires or fewer resources to fight them. "nightline" investigates is an aging fleet of tanker planes putting lives at risk. >> honesty policy. an ohio man confesses on youtube he killed a man. that drunk driver was in court today and things did not go as planned.

tonight -- simon cowell, stacy keibler and music from gary clark jr. with cleto and the cletones.ow, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i am glad you are watching. i am happy to have you here. i have to say, i don't usually have fun, but it was kind of a fun day today. a lot of excitement around our office. those who saw the show last night know we pulled a prank on a lot of people. we made a video of a girl twerking and then what appeared to be accidentally setting herself on fire. and we posted that video on to a private account on youtube. and on its own it took off. in less than a week, millions of views. ran on hundreds of news stations, talking about it on the radio, all over, the milli vanilli of youtube videos. but the funny thing, after everybody ran it thinking it was real. after all the news channels embarrassed themselves running a bonus video today, they ran it again to announce it wasn't real. >> announcer: the hoax that fooled everyone. >> the biggest twerking fail ever turned o

tonight -- simon cowell, stacy keibler and music from gary clark jr. with cleto and the cletones.now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for coming. thank you for watching. i am glad you are watching

father-to-be simon cowell will be here, stacey keibler will be here, and we'll have music from gary clark jrnd music from the weekend and preservation hall jazz band. so join us for those shows, too. our first guest tonight is perched charmingly on the list of the world's most beloved greeks. he is an actor and handsome devil in general who joined forces to detail the deflowering of the famous on a new series called losing it. please welcome john stay mouse! [ applause ] >> they're having a stand off. happy birthday. you look -- >> 90? >> you do look great. it's hard to believe that you're 65 years old. 50 years old. >> i'm 50. i had a 50th birthday. and jimmy was camping apparently. >> no, i was fishing. >> same thing. same importance. camping, fishing, and my birthday. was that your honeymoon? >> no. no. >> parents, italy? we're going fishing. >> i will say i did try to take a fishing trip in the middle of my honeymoon and that got nixed. >> where were you? >> i was in italy. >> congratulations. >> i appreciate it. happy birthday to you. i heard it was a big great party. did you plan it yo