>> gawande: how are you? >> come on in. >> gawande: take me back to when she's pregnant, she's doing great, 39 weeks, your due date is coming, and? >> the collapsed lung would not allow for a c-section. it was too dangerous to be opening her up with all that fluid build up, so sara had vivian basically pushing with one lung. it was so difficult, but she had the baby. you want to be part of that 15% that survives more than five years. you want to be part of that group so badly. and you say to yourself, why not us, you know? it wasn't about "how can we have good days to the end?" we didn't focus on that enough. we're trying to stabilize the situation and try to become a little... spend a little bit of time as a family. but it was just... it was an impossible situation, impossible summer. i mean it's just excruciating. >> gawande: when i came on the scene was when she got diagnosed with a second cancer. you know, in my mind what i was thinking was i wouldn't offer this surgery because the lung cancer is going to

it's the subject of tonight's frontline, featuring doctor atul gawande, a surgeon and writer who has a recent book on the subject called, "being mortal." the film profiles several personal stories including that of jeff shields, a man who was suffering from a rare form of lymphoma and underwent a bone marrow transplant. his cancer returned and he made a decision to die at home. here's an excerpt about that decision, and how he discussed it with his grandson. ♪ >> as this home time began to unfold, i began to realize how... how difficult it was, partly because our house was not organized or arranged to comfortably do this. suddenly you have a hospital bed in the middle of your living room. >> then i need you to help me bring my feet up. >> here, malcolm. we're going to help pop pop take his slippers off. can you do that? you want it to be as comfortable and happy a place for him as it can be. and at the same time, it's, you know, it's sort of the elephant in the room. >> have i talked to you at all >> have i talked to you at all about my thoughts on dying? >> no. >> is it too hard? ok

. >> now we have a best selling author atul gawande. i have seen you talk and write about the change between the doctor and patient relationship with two things. the rise of the internet and the declining trust that people have in the medical profession. how much of that is driving what we're seeing here in terms of vaccinations? >> i think those are significant. you add to it that these are diseases we don't seem to remember which is ironic. these conditions, people will say measles, is it really that dangerous? and we forget that childhood viral illnesses were major killers not that long ago. and in my own childhood, i developed mumps which has since been something that we have controlled with vaccinations. and i was one of those kids, because there was thousands with mumps, i developed the most severe form, and i was just lucky i survived. you can die from the disease. what we have now, which is the real surprise is a generation who has had this kind of dire illness and range of illnesses that shorten lives eliminated from our memory

. >> based on the best-selling book by atul gawande. >> so many people i see, their death comes as aprise. >> frontline takes you into the difficult conversations between doctors and patients >> i just was wanting something positive to say. so the reason i regret it is because i knew it was a complete lie. >> frontline is made possible by contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. thank you. and by the corporation for public broadcasting. major support for frontline is provided by the john d. and catherine t. macarthur foundation, committed to building a more just, verdant and peaceful world. more information is available at macfound.org. additional support is provided by the park foundation dedicated to heightening public awareness of critical issues. the ford foundation, working with visionaries on the front lines of social change worldwide. at fordfoundation.org. the wyncote foundation. and by the frontline journalism fund, with major support from jon and jo ann hagler. captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> for more on this and other frontline pr