if this tape wasn't leaked, and suppose there was no gawker trial, you think you'd be using that word today, when you got angry? so tell me what this is. dying to see. well, this is the legal pad that i had in court with me during the gawker trial, and what i did all day long was write. i just wrote all day long. were you following the trial with this? no, i wasn't following the trial. these are just, like, affirmations, you know? "i am only victory." "perfect health." - in the middle of the trial? - "god fights and wins all battles." "still and stay centered." if you read all the stuff, i was praying the whole time. this is all "god, god, god, god, god." yeah, i mean... when i would go in there, i would walk in-- i would walk in with light, with this high vibration. i'd write-- you know, i'd pray for these very talented lawyers of gawker to see the error of their ways and become great lawyers and help people. why did you sue in the first place? i sued basically because i never wanted anything like this to happen to anybody else. when they first put the tape up we were very kind and a