there's no reason for it (applause) i mean for god's sakes what are you yelling at this guy for. it's not like he insulted his wife, oh, reallying roll that tape. >> embattled new york mayorral candidate anthony weiner in an epic war of words at this brooklyn bakery after he paid for some traditional rosh hashanah baked goods. >> really scum bag. >> very nice. >> weiner begins to leave the bakery but then, listen closely. >> this man saul kessler makes a racial slur about weiner's wife puma abadine. >> jon: ah. well then [bleep] that guy. i didn't know that. (cheers and applause) of course, it does raise an interesting possibility. what if everything anthony weiner has done makes sense if you look at it a larger context. what if there is one piece of information that makes each incident okay. like what if at that west indian phrase he didn't

for god's sake, let us sit upon the ground. and tell sad stories of the death of kings -- how some have been deposed, some slain in war, some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed, some poisoned by their wives, some sleeping killed all murdered. for within the hollow crown. that rounds the mortal temples of a king keeps death his court; and there the antic sits, scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp, allowing him a breath, a little scene, to monarchize, be feared and kill with looks, infusing him with self and vain conceit, as if this flesh which walls about our life were brass impregnable; and humoured thus, comes at the last and with a little pin bores through his castle wall, and farewell, king! cover your heads, and mock not flesh and blood with solemn reverence. throw away respect, tradition, form and ceremonious duty, for you have but mistook me all this while. i live with bread like you... feel want, taste grief, need friends. subjected thus, how can you say to me i am a king? my lord, wise men ne'er sit and wail

[ laughter ] for god sakes. move on. move on. [ laughter ] there's a joke associated with that but i didn't get to it because it moved on. [ laughter ] all right. forget it. let's go. i guess if you really sincerely believe this is a terrible program that americans will hate, i have to respect your principled stand ted cruz. >> its obama administration's plan is simple: to get as many americans addicted to the subsidies, addicted to the sugar because they know that in modern times no major entitlement has gone into effect and then been undone. >> jon: but the sugar in your metaphor is in this case health insurance, something that can literally battle the effects of too much sugar. you know how america is with entitlements it's like crack to us. you give us one small taste of social security suddenly we're sucking the (bleep) of not having our old people freeze to death and not have to live on cat food. that's it. [cheers and applause] you are protecting america from this terrible obamacare plan that once we get a taste o

for god's sake, charlie, this is not about you! i like musical theater.be all these years, i've been pathologically chasing women because i've been overcompensating. you know, i've often thought that. what?! i'm agreeing with you. what do you want to hear? i want you to tell me that there is no chance that either of us will ever have to call a woman i slept with "daddy." jill the slob. gadzooks. morning. morning. morning. morning. so, how was your weekend? fine. ok. nothing exciting happening in your world, charlie? like what? oh, i don't know. go to a fun party? see a great movie? run into an old flame with a new wick? what are the odds, huh? one brother turns 'em gay. the other turns 'em guy. if you don't mind, berta, i'd rather not talk about it. ok. i'll fix you something to eat. how 'bout a sausage link and a couple eggs? evelyn: hello, anybody home? oh, no. oh, no. charlie, i need to talk to you about your friend bill. oh, boy. oh, boy! you know, i-i'd really rather not discuss this in front of the help. uh, berta, could you give us some privacy? he

nagle: for god's sake, will, swim! swim for the wreckage, will! mowett: all right, over she goes. there's another. there you go. ( concerned muttering ) nagle: you can do it, will! davies: swim! come on! nagle: come on, will! swim! ( indistinct yells ) hollar: come on. come on! ( men yelling commands ) ( warley cries out ) ( grunting ) ( grunting ) ( distressed grunting continues ) nagle: oh, god... no, no. ( frantic grunting and gasping ) ( grunting ) ( frantic yelling and gasping ) ( gasping ) ( men cheering and laughing ) ( thunder cracks ) he's been at it again. who's that then? the jonah. what's that? ( thunder cracks ) hollar: keep her head down! the deaths in actu battle are the easiest to bear. for my own part, those who die under my knife or from some... subsequent infection... i have to remind myself that it was the enemy that killed them, not me. that young man was a casualty of war. as you said yourself, you have to choose the lesser of two evils. weevils. the crew will take it badly. warley was popular. have they expressed any feelings on the matter to you? jack, befo

it's 2013, get some beats for gods sakes. (laughter) i mean, there is no tway u.n. can resolve the crisis in syria! and here to tell me how the u.n. can resolve the crisis in syria is blogger and founder of the dish mr. andrew sullivan. andrew, good to see you again. (cheers and applause) andrew, do you believe when it comes to taking military action against bashar al-assad using chemical weapons are you in favor of doing something or doing nothing? >> doing something that does not mean we get involved in someone else's civil war. that's what i'm in favor of and that's what we've got. >> stephen: so doing something that is nothing? >> no. >> stephen: like? you want to get the u.n. involved? >> no, i want russia which is the critical member of the security council involved here and china on the security council who have taken responsibility saying we're going to make sure assad controls and eventually destroys his chemical weapons. >> stephen: you trust russia and china more than you trust the united states of america! your word! that's what you just said! (laughter)

for god's sake! these are railroad spikes! i'll putty over it. that's not plaster board, that's stucco. you can't just putty stucco. i know, i'll fix it. let's just give him some privacy. wait, wait, wait. at least i can take one hammer out of his hand. ♪ men... ♪ alan (on tv): jake, look at daddy. look at daddy. look at daddy. ah, that's my boy. where's daddy? daddy's over here. wasn't he adorable? yeah. hey, could you rewind to judith breast-feeding him? that was really adorable. especially the part where she does the old switcheroo. (baby jake babbling) i miss that little boy. seems like only yesterday i could hold him in one arm. he didn't weigh more than eight or nine pounds. he craps more than that now. where did the time go? his childhood is almost over and there's still so much stuff i want to do with him. like what? you know, father-son stuff. pretty soon, there'll be no more playing catch or riding bikes. do you realize i've never even taken him fishing or camping or hunting? do you know how to fish or camp or hunt? that's not the point

myra: for god's sake, judith, get off his back! judith: no one's talking to you, myra!k, everyone calm down. i'm doing it. oh. hi, charlie. hey, herb. just taking out the trash. yeah, i'm coming from doing the same thing. great. he leaves the door wide op... what the hell are you doing here? that's a good question. see, the thing is i... oh, hey, charlie. hi, myra. no. no. i forbid it. not in my house. what brings you to the cul-de-sac of the damned? just in the neighborhood. that's nice. come on in. thanks. i said no! doesn't anybody listen to me? herb: i'm doing it! look! you know, i really didn't expect to see you again. well, i wasn't doing anything, so... judith: no, alan, listen to me. he's here right now! why would i kid about that? i don't know. maybe his other date didn't work out. ah, the plot thickens. (sighs) ok, ok, i can explain. no, i can't. give it a shot. well, um... i was with this girl, and i suddenly realized that i'd rather be with someone who i, you know, actually enjoy being with. judith: oh, just forget it, alan. you're useless. (hangs up phone)

day, maybe a sunday, leave your phone at home unless you're waiting for a liver transplant for god's sakeave your phone at home. i think it can be very therapeutic. >> one professor at university of maryland, go 24 hours without social media, essentially unplugged. take a look at the effect. >> quite a few students noted for their need for social media had a physical manifestation. students from the united states said they developed physical twitches, twitching of thumbs. many experienced phantom ringing although they tended to call it something different. in short students around the world repeatedly called their level of dependence on media and their friends level of dependence on media as scary. >> dr. hoffman do people actually experience clinical withdrawal stims from social media? >> in principle it's possible, that there's nothing qualitatively terribly different from sort of substances that lead to addiction behaviors or that are associated with addiction. but what we have to be careful, so in this particular study now, you know as soon as you tell people not to use -- not to do s

for god's sake, let me in! henry: what shrill-voiced suppliant makes this eager cry? duchess: a woman. and thy aunt, great king; 'tis i. open the door. i beggar begs that never begged before. our scene is altered from a serious thing, and now changed to "the beggar and the king." [knocking] my dangerous cousin, let your mother in: i know she is come to pray for your foul sin. o king, believe not this hard-hearted man! love loving not itself none other can. york: thou frantic woman, what dost thou make here? shall thy old dugs another traitor rear? sweet york, be patient. hear me, gentle liege. -rise up, good aunt! -duchess: not yet, i thee beseech: for ever will i walk upon my knees, until thou bid me joy, by pardoning my transgressing boy. aumerle: unto my mother's prayers i bend my knee. york: against them both my true joints bended be. i'll mayst thou thrive, if thou grant any grace! duchess: pleads he in earnest? look upon his face; his eyes do drop no tears, his prayers are in jest; his words come from his mouth, ours from our breast. -good aunt, stand up. -nay,

. >> jon: oh, for god's sakes, aasif, that is never-- wow, he's slully-- he's got some moves. >> he isy likable. >> jon: he really is thank you, aasif mandvi, everybody. we'll be righk.ack. (cheers and applause) >> jon: hey, welcome back to the show. you know, all summer long we have kept you up to date on democrats running for mayor of new york. >> danger ♪ ♪ danger ♪. >> jon: all right, one guy. kept you up on one guy. but let's get up to speed on the republican candidates. you got your john-- yeah jonny cats. billionaire grocery store owner and political cartoonist wet dream. what have you got there, buddy? >> david ushery asks cap catsimatidis to explain his remarks supporting stop and frisk. catsimatidis said if his own son was stop ed would ask if he had been walking funny. >> what did you mean by that that you would counsel your son or ask him about that. >> well, you know, if he had his pants half down with his underwear showing, if he had his hat turned backwards. >> jon: really? you think the police should be able to stop people that have their hats turned backwards or are sh

bonnie, for god's sake, stop it. lois, i already told you, i'm in paris to have an affair.i'll even do a muslim if i have to. but i just can't believe you'd throw away all those years with joe just to have some silly fling. i'm not throwing anything away. joe and i have been growing apart for a long time. besides, we've had a good run. we've been married for 80 years. you what? well, that's in married- to-a-handicapped-guy years. go, dallas cowboys, huh? hello. excuse me? you are american, no? i very much admire your garry shandling. look, i know where you're going with this, and we're not interested, okay, so you might as well just keep moving. i'm interested. (laughing lasciviously) bonnie. would you like to sample a warm french baguette? oh, my. my intention is to void myself on you. oh, i'd almost forgotten what it's like to be romanced. come on, bonnie, we are leaving. what? look, i'm doing you a favor. my stool will sleep alone tonight. bonnie, this is insanity. promise me you'll put this whole affair thing out of your head. lois, i'm just having fun. you're playing w

. - for god's sake, when are you going to learn that there's more to life than the singular pursuit of tail, sir? - not anytime soon, i hope. - you're right. your priorities are unimpeachable. - "oh, i'm timmy. i know big words about peaches." - sir... as it turns out, i'm already going somewhere tonight where there are lots of single ladies eager for company. - oh! share the wealth. hook a player up, brother. - all right. won't you join me? - i'm in. if it doesn't work out, we always got plan "b." "hey, look at you." doosh-doosh-doosh. "oh, my hero." - raiding the mini-bar? that's not like you. - i'm in 314. a bottle of vodka's missing from the mini-bar. i didn't want you to charge us for it. - that's like you. - just wetting my whistle. not like i see these animals every day. when we get together, it's crazy. there's nobody in the world i'd rather spend time with than these guys. - huh. always nice for a wife to hear. well, can't you have fun with them sober? - i guess we'll never find out. - [laughs] well, you go have your fun. but when you get back, do not climb on top of me naked.

they named their cats after us, for god's sake! those cats are dead by now. at least carrie is. she got pregnant, like, 30 times. we are not calling neal and marcy, ok? yeah, you're right. [sighs] i'm gonna go to bed. right behind you. i'm just gonna clean up here a little bit. ok. deacon: hello? hello? who is this? hello? what are you doing? just checking the time. 7:08. good job, buddy. you were calling deacon and kelly again. i just wanted to hear what was going on over there. oh, my god, you're pathetic! what was going on over there? i don't know, but it sounded like the best time 4 people ever had. damn it! you know what? screw them! and screw us for being such losers! you know what we gotta do? we gotta get off our butts, get out there and find a replacement couple for deacon and kelly. i don't know. i don't think we're ready yet. of course we're ready. come on! we're nice, we're funny, we're smart. any other couple would be lucky to have us! you know, you're right. who cares what deacon and kelly think? we're a catch! yes, we are. so you know what we're gonna do? we're go

you think you're disappointed, for god's sakes. >> bad news for you. >> he gave his concession speechyone the finger. honest to god. [ laughter ] you have to be careful because that's the kind of thing people will remember. they said to anthony weiner, what are you going to do now? he said, i'm going to take some time off, a couple weeks. spend a couple weeks, probably a month. spend some time with my cell phone. >> the russian president -- he wrote an op-ed piece for "the new york times." he said he wanted to reach the american people directly. that shows you how little putin knows about america, okay? you want to reach the american people, you don't put it in a newspaper. you go on "dancing with the stars." who reads -- >> here's something more lighthearted out of russia. it is cold in russia. that doesn't just affect humans. it affects monkeys, too. like this one. all bundled up. and ready to -- do the most adorable thing that's ever been done. >> would there be attacks against american bases in the middle east if there's an air strike? >> you would expect everything. expect everyt

get some beats, for god's sake. >> jonathan villar was trying to slide into second base.ook at what happened. >> nine-game hitting streak ended last night. gets the hit. >> i think that was -- i'm guessing it was bottom of the second. >> miss america pageant is the annual sequel to "toddlers & tiaras." it's fun to watch 52 women who haven't eaten in a week to answer questions about marijuana. >> "dancing with the stars" premiered the other night. that show is broadcast all over the world. and i think our version is better. i'm biased -- show our version. ♪ >> now, show the bulgarian version. ♪ >> that is so wrong. bulgaria there for leno. >> my eyes are burning. >> that's what's making news here in america. >> stay with us for "good morning america." have a wonderful friday and a great weekend. >>> you're watching the stakes that works for you -- station that works for you. now good morning maryland. >> his name is gregory hudnet we are live with the latest on why he faces serious charges. a couple of driving laws take effect in maryland in two weeks. what you need to kno

colorado, llc 800-775-7838 email: comments@captioncolorado.com ] ,, ,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,, - oh, for god's sake. "planking" is a very stupid and dangerous trend. basically you lie like a plank in weird places. that's it. sometimes you get run over. welcome to the internet. - planking is one of those things where, hey, you either get it or you don't. [giggles] and i don't. but i am so excited to be a part of it.

task force and realize what the deal it is to go through the hearings and get a find and then for god sakes, to get it enforced. in fact, with this body, you can't get it enforced. so what is the point? >> and well the point is, we can come here and beat you over the head, by the fact that every single time you find against a citizen, you are saying that citizens bring specious complaints and complaints that are not valid or worth while and you do so without the hearings and in many cases without actually investigating them and you simply make it up as you go along out of whole cloth and you dismiss, dismiss, dismiss, dismiss and you not only dismiss the cases, you dismiss the citizens of this city. >> mr. hartz. are you before or against adding the word handling? >> i think that it is... >> whether you add it or not. it does not make a... bit of difference because it is not going to change, it is not a subnative change. >> peter war field, the director of the library users association, i oppose, adding the word handling and i have a different word that i propose would be much more realisti

for god sakes, lift with your legs. myso i only trust the shampoo from the color experts. anti-oxidant and uv filters seals the color inside. protects the hair fiber. deeply nourishes to prolong radiance week after week. with color vibrancy... my color doesn't wash away. doesn't lose its luster. 85% of women who purchased it said they prefer color vibrancy from l'oreal's most advanced hair care. change the life of your hair. because you, and your color, are worth it. ♪ it seems today that all you see ♪ ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ ♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ all the things that make us ♪ laugh and cry ♪ he's... a... fam... ily... guy! ♪ (doorbell ringing) oh, hi, bonnie. what's up? hi, lois, um, i hate to bother you, but i'm going out of town for a few days to visit my father in the hospital. was hoping that while i was gone, you could look in on susie and joe. and go have sex with quagmire. quagmire! quagmire! aw, shucks, you can't blam

she must live, for god's sake, relling, just for a moment, long enough for me to ll her how infinitely i loved her all the time. she was hit in the heart. internal hemorrhage. she died instantaneously. and i drove her from me like some animal and in terror she crept into the loft and died for love of me. i shall never be able to make it up to her never be able to tell her-- o god on high, if thou art there, why hast thou done this to me? hjalr, you mustn't say such dreadfuthin. i dasay we didn'deserve to keep her. the chd is not dead, but sleepeth. shut up. rubbish. there es, stiff and still. it's so tight, so tight. ease, relling, you mustn'hurt h fingers let the pistol lie there. she catake iwith her. she mustn't lie out here in front of everybody. she should go into her own little room. help me with her, hjalmar. oh, gina. can you bear this? must help one another. now she's as much yours as mine, isn't she? praised be the lord. earth to earth, earth to earth. shut up, molvik. you're drunk. nobody is ever going to persuade me this was an accident. nobody can say how this dreadful thi

that you needed normal political situation of all it would probably be my ideological enemy for god's sake the guy wanted to outsource police work in the city to private security firms that's in his in his you know in this program that to me that's a complete anathema but anyway the point is this is about the return of competitive politics people voting for and of only are not even the silly voting for him it's not a cult of personality quite yet bang gadd a lot of people are voting for a return to actual street level politics why not give any people that meaning to the polls kind of we saw so much motivation so much political activism well. you know let's remember that this is the kind of outreach that he was mad that he managed to do without access to television and with an unfair disadvantage in terms of you know access to. words as we all know just i'm not saying these are decisive factors just keep them in mind as well what. he was i mean it was all over moscow certainly and also about the time. i have to say i mean here i mean use grassroots methods i mean to be out into wasn't doing

say that you needed normal political situation only would probably be my ideological enemy for god's sake the guy i want to outsource police work in the city to private security firms that's in his in his you know in this program that to me that's a complete anathema but anyway the point is this is about the return of competitive politics people voting for and of only are not even the silly voting for him it's not a cult of personality quite yet bang gadd a lot of people are voting for a return to actual street level politics why not give any people that meaning to the poll we saw so much motivation so much political activism why.

involve mission creep which was not justified by the explicit terms of the men died but don't for god's sake let's argue about the circumstances. for months what you know as a. in syria it's precisely because of the libyan experience because the rest of the there have been tired was misled about the scale of violence that was perpetrated by the cut off in government back then and many countries are now asking where the oldest reports that we are hearing about their trial cities of the syrian government now whether they are accurate and let me just quote something that the international crisis group that i know the e.u. last for a number of years sat on the on the issue of we've been he actually said that from the very beginning the coverage of all of the libyan affair was extremely one sided western coverage was based on the promise of indiscriminate use of force but it got off the army and the fact that protestors were unarmed to reach we know at this point of time wasn't true those protesters were tax relief that is the public. weapons so ultimately our disagree with the position was taken

>> of course with scandals for god's sakes. does it help president owe obama being seen with chris christie? >> this guy is -- oob thoob is, i don't know. i don't know if it meant anything to you. >> they both can serve like this, do you what i mean? chris gets something out of it. he looks like an open minded guy. >> bill: he's running again. okay. >> also, christie when you're north of 400 pounds you've got insecurity issues so maybe he likes being with the popular kids. >> bill: you may know eric holder, miller thinks is really steadman, oprah's boyfriend. do you think they're the same person? >> i don't think they are. >> you're positive? >> bill: he wants to marry oprah. >> is steadman going to resign? >> that point doesn't know whether to admit co 2 to negligenter regions or wind his watch. the fact is that once he did the thing he's -- it's like belly best. he'll go when he wants to go. before then he's going say listen, i did dirty lifting i'll go when i want to go. >> bill: worst tax cheat in american history, mark ric

gaddafi get killed for god sakes because of our bonds.decision when congress was on spring break and he was on a trip to brazil. there was nothing congress could have done. and then when they came back elect the other way. john: for a long time presidents just did what they wanted. very few challenges. i get the feeling now with the tea party, growing libertarian movement, there is more of a chance that people will start looking to this and saying, you know, this matters. >> you and i have been devoting the most recent part of our professional careers to this matters. the constitution is a delegation of authority to the government. it is not an experiment. it is not a game. it is not a test. it's precisely says what freedoms we will give up for the common good. when the government operates outside the constitution it ignores the fundamental rule of law, of the land and tramples our freedoms. that is not what we elected to government for. what will protect us from the government when the government does not abide the constitution? john: it

gaddafi get killed for god sakes because of our bonds.decision when congress was on spring break and he was on a trip to brazil. there was nothing congress could have done. and then when they came back elect the other way. john: for a long time presidents just did what they wanted. very few challenges. i get the feeling now with the tea party, growing libertarian movement, there is more of a chance that people will start looking to this and saying, you know, this matters. >> you and i have been devoting the most recent part of our professional careers to this matters. the constitution is a delegation of authority to the government. it is not an experiment. it is not a game. it is not a test. it's precisely says what freedoms we will give up for the common good. when the government operates outside the constitution it ignores the fundamental rule of law, of the land and tramples our freedoms. that is not what we elected to government for. what will protect us from the government when the government does not abide the constitution? john: it

oh, my god's sakes. >> jimmy: yeah, that was volunteervodka that -- >> did you see tom hank's face, tom -- yeah, there was stefan and the whole thing about jet doing shots of vodka, and i looked at zack, he looked at john stewart. >> jimmy: if you did that on an elevator, i would probably do that. >> oh, good to know. >> jimmy: when we come back, we go from vodka to spitting, to children's movies. bill hader is here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. ask if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain; it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away, if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age of taking action. viagra. talk

oh, my god's sakes. >> jimmy: yeah, that was vodka that -- >> did you see tom hank's face, tom was like here, buddy -- yeah, there was stefan and the whole thing about jet doing shots of vodka, and i looked at zack, he looked at john stewart. he was like no. and i looked at you. and what you said was -- >> jimmy: if you did that on an elevator, i would probably do that. >> oh, good to know. >> jimmy: when we come back, we take a look at your new film from guzzling vodka and spitting it, to a children's film. bill hader is here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. only the best make their 2 for $20 menu, like the new honey pepper grill entrees. let's check out the action! they're flavorin', savorin' and more flavorin'. he could...go... all...the...way! he could...get... out of the way? ♪ help yourself. [ berman ] kick off game day in the neighborhood with applebee's 2 for $20 menu. one app, two entrees. only twenty bucks. see you tomorrow. and see you late night for half-priced apps. and now, there's a plan that l