greg? >> greg: when you talk, i believe it was 21 women.e talking about, you know, all sort of things here we have to group them. 21 hookers is known as a beckel. am i right? this is not going to be a scandal. a real scandal until the other stiletto drops. that means when the women talk. if you look at clinton. the clinton scandal didn't explode until there was lewinsky. john edwards didn't explode until hunter. there is 21 women involved. there will be money -- >> bob: can i just, can i clarify one thing if you don't mind? let's keep this scandal to the obama administration going. this had nothing to do with the obama administration. it's secret service. nobody that is not political is the secret service. >> andrea: it doesn't make us look good. he is supposed to be managing everything. >> bob: not managing the secret service. >> andrea: he should be managing people managing the secret service. is middleton a problem child? there i is new developments in the gun controversy in france. stay tuned. we'll tell you all about it. >> greg: got e

greg? >> greg: for today's greg word been a, the word is -- -- ward ban, the word is "narrative."he narrative, narrative for the primary. narrative means just a storyline. no more narrative. tired of it. >> dana: okay, good, right. that is interesting. it won't say "narrative" anymore. we have a fun show tomorrow. we have five pictures of us five when we were five, tomorrow at 5:00. >>> welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld, host of the new pbs show. it is where i restore aging house boys in mint conditi

>> greg: i'm the wee wordsmith greg gutfeld. the cute in prosecute. kikimberly guilfoyle. juan williams. sleek greek, anderso greek, and. and the world's lady bug. dana perino. this show is packed tight, so let's do this. in a speech tuesday, president obama hit the g.o.p. budget plan. i bet he thinks the congressional budget is something different altogethe altogether. perhaps a trojan horse. >> this congressional republican budget is something different altogether. it is a trojan horse. disguiseed as deficit reduction plans. it's really an attempt to impose the radical vision on our country. it's thinly veiled social darwinism. >> greg: the official cocktail party phrase for libs. even ryan wrote the voters must choose between social darwinism and free society. wonder what he is for. that confuses me. i thought the left was pro-science against darwin. does obama against evolution? maybe he is a flat earther, too. >> they must have been founding members of the flat earth society. >> charter members of the flat earth society. >> charter members of the flat earth society. >

>> greg: they were artistic. nudity is superficial. >> bob: this is a referendum on obama but the a terntive has to be accept to believe people. i'm not sure that romney is not foining to have enough gas. the problem with romney, he has no personality. >> greg: that is the best thing about him. hollywood is over. i mean, america is over hollywood. they are over the celebrity telling them how cool obama is. republicans just point out what obama accomplished. he said belgium, well, we're belgium. >> andrea: the promises were so big. >> bob: that's right. >> eric: you are trying to paint romney being fa nil la an plain. but most people are going you know what? maybe we should try vanilla or plain. >> kimberly: that is my favorite ice cream. i love vanilla. >> bob: race for mayor in new york, the line was tyler, if mayor. having said that, you have to vet some personality. >> andrea: i think first, romney would be an excellent debateer the, too. i take issue with you saying the campaign had gas. i think romney's camp

. >> eric: greg?> greg: i mean, what he nails is something we talk about before, which environmentalism uses fear to control people. they started back with rachel carson with the silent spring. you had the dude with the population bomb. i think paul ehrlich that predicted the dire circumstances. why are they predicting dire circumstances to scare to us acquiescing to more government control. that's the whole point. they benefited by the media. i call it hip welfare. because environmentis environmee hip. people are less likely to check the facts. they could say anything as long as it doesn't get in way of a good story to get a free pass. >> kimberly: sure. they need fear tactics, et cetera, to authorize funding for problems like solyndra and waste taxpayers' money on things that are not feasible. as we discussed before and solar and everything operating as ultimate highest potential, which it's not. we don't need to account for 16%. >> greg: we could harness the steam from bob's head. >> kimberly: he's

>> greg: hello, i'm the dainty defender greg gutfeld. she puts the va-va-voom in the courtroom, birdie kim. more tails than a kite factory, bob beckel. traded fat calls for margin calls, eric bolling. if america were a box of cracker jacks, she would be the prize. dana perino. it's 5:00 in new york city. 4:00 a.m. in the underground shrine. this show is tighter than bob's little black book. so let's do this america. ♪ ♪ >> greg: so outrage is like bouncing betty. one minute, rush limbaugh is cornered and the next you're running for corner which hillary rosen just found out. >> mitt romney is running around the country saying my wife tells me what women really care about is economic issues. when i listen to my wife, that's what i'm hearing. his wife has never worked a day in her life. >> greg: oops. what is next for hillary, the so-called p.r. expert, condemned to salvation army for ringing bells too loudly? criticizing nurses for only wearing white? shame puppies for being too adorable? what a disaster for the white house. i bet a stay-a

greg? >> greg: for today's greg word been a, the word is -- -- ward ban, the word is "narrative."tive, narrative for the primary. narrative means just a storyline. no more narrative. tired of it. >> dana: okay,

greg? >> greg: for today's greg word been a, the word is -- -- ward ban, the word is "narrative."rative, narrative for the primary. narrative means just a storyline. no more narrative. tired of it. >> dana: okay, good, right. that is interesting. it won't say "narrative" anymore. we have a fun show tomorrow. we have five pictures of us five when we were five, tomorrow at 5:00. there is a great point about it. hope to see you tomorrow. >> bret: a one-time incident or the tip of the iceberg? new questions tonight in washington. this is "special report." ♪

greg, it's not true that i asked to buy a vowel. >> greg: she did great.

go ahead. >> greg: eeverybody got a personal. that is me. >> eric: that's greg. published my first book entitled "do you smell like poop"? >> bob: one of my hobbies is serial killer. that is a picture of a serial killer in the making right there. >> greg: thank you. >> dana: bob. you to see yours. your sister sent it. i haven't seen it yet. >> bob: well, it's just a sweet young guy. that was a terrorist. good, did we lose it? i hope so. because i really prefer not to -- >> dana: did your sister take care of the family photographs? >> bob: there he is. look at that. >> dana: that's five? >> greg: that is not five. >> bob: it is. >> greg: you have a beard. >> bob: if you notice that was taken near a cemetery. and i was wearing -- where do you get this stuff from? >> dana: look at the slippe slippers. >> bob: i mentioned this in the last segment, shortly after this, that my brother and i really did burn down the neighbor's garage. we weren't seven. we were five. >> andrea: you were a bad kid. >> dana: you played with matches at five? >> bob: we went to burn the garb

>> greg: he has seen it.s gotten large. >> eric: tell people what it means. >> greg: he realizes that he could see the weakness in his, i guess his adventure. >> eric: let's talk about this. >> dana: i got a roundup. >> eric: i have to ask you. $2.9 million is what mitt romney will spend in pennsylvania to fight the other guys off! wouldn't it be easier to save the money and use it against the war chest coming out? >> dana: we could have said that in july and saved us a lot of heartache and headache. the money we spend, this will get me in trouble, the money we spend in politics relative to the level of economy and what we're doing is fine, it's on par. and a super-pac issue is not that bad. the money and jobs it creates. can i mention a couple other things? newt gingrich came in fourth behind someone that is nobody is talking about, or republican party don't talk about enough. that is ron paul. and what his supports are going to do. the messaging as kimberly said was excellent from newt. one line we didn't h

what does greg say in >> greg: is it taxpayer money? >> kimberly: you paid for the room.h advance on the room, you pay for. that i know you'd probably rather see it go to that than solyndra but other than that, not a good idea. >> greg: as an expert in sexual rejection syndrome, i must point out they do a tough job. as eric pointed out. you need to relieve stress from a tough job. i consider this is a health treat some why isn't it covered by obamacare? >> kimberly: they got confused. >> greg: where is hillary rosen? this is clearly war on women, war on international women and more important, war on working women just trying to make a living. >> dana: when you have a top secret clearance you don't get the choice to decide when you're on or offdutty. you get top secret clearance, and you went through it and the reason you got yours is you didn't lie about anything. >> bob: correct. >> dana: are they open about this? do they go home and talk about this to their friends? when we go to countries where prostitution is legal, it's okay? the top secret clearance thing is problem

we kick it off with greg gutfeld. >> greg: thank, edith.ese has the lieutenant dan band. and was supposed to perform this month in brooklyn where all the money goes to wounded warriors. he builds homes for wounded warriors but he got in a serious car accident. they had to cancel performances and he's recovering nicely. if you can go to this website, the gary sinese foundation.org get tickets for the upcoming shows which are in april 27 and april 28. in brooklyn. he is playing in upstate new york. catch him all over the country. if you go there, find links for the tickets or donate to the, for the military for veterans. first responders andtary families. a good cause. he is a great dude. >> bob: one of the nicest conservatives i know. good friend of my brother. good man. >> dana: amazing guy. eric? >> eric: one thing i don't do, i did in a past life, i keep my finger on it. i do stock trading and i have done tok trading in the past. i'm not allowed to trade. i'm allowed to invest now. a company i watch for the better part of seven years, put

>> greg: we have to.and they can't control themselves. >> dana: are you mocking me? >> greg: yes. >> kimberly: didn't we have a show "happy hour"? it was banned already. >> eric: if the idea is problem drinkers to buy the drinks or alcoholics, for every hour is happy houren if an alcoholic. this won't stop people who want to use the booze to use it and use it badly or become alcoholics. >> kimberly: how about the people looking for love out there and dates that go to happy hour. two for one cocktail, long island iced tea and pigs in the blanket up here? >> eric: the last i check, drinking was still legal in new york. pot is still illegal. though they look the other way. >> kimberly: bloomberg's office is saying it's not core, they are not asking for i. >> bob: bloomberg says he doesn't want it. i was forced, i mean forced to attend the white house correspondents dinner. miss perina stayed away. you thinked'd like it a room full of democrats. it was too much even for me. however, i did see my friend kim ka

greg? andrea?an club for letting me m.c. the awards dinner. ray kelly is with me. rumored to be the next mayor. this is a great night. pretty dress. thank you, everybody for letting me. >> greg: i didn't have one. that's why i said skip me. reiley has a new word a day thing. i started been a a word. today it's apoplectic. i never want to hear the word again. it's somehow gained favor in the last month. i'm tired of it. >> andrea: obama's favorite word. >> bob: i'm apoplectic for you being ablow plek tick ablow. that's it for "the five." >> bret: i'm bret baier. this is a fox news alert. minutes ago we learned of new fallout from the

greg? andrea?an club for letting me m.c. the awards dinner. ray kelly is with me. rumored to be the next mayor. this is a great night. pretty dress. thank you, everybody for letting me. >> greg: i didn't have one. that's why i said skip me. reiley has a new word a day thing. i started been a a word. today it's apoplectic. i never want to hear the word again. it's somehow gained favor in the last month. i'm tired of it. >> andrea: obama's

field hockey and soccer. >> greg: fantastic. >> bob: perfect for you. >> greg: it would.ome. >> bob: no, no. you'd come home. you might come home wounded but you'd come home. i took an a.a. meeting there once. >> kimberly: is this segment called the stream of consciousness or something? i don't know what to do about it. >> bob: graduation date. sorry. >> kimberly: i have a story. before we head to the green room we have one last one more thing. this is a nice story. little boy who is 13 years old. quick thinking on a bus ride, the driver went in to a medical distress situation, was like passed out, eyes bulging. 13-year-old boy on the bus jeremy jumped in. took ahold of the wheel. eventually pulled the key out of the ignition to get the bus to come to a stop. 13 other middle school students on there. from milton, washington. >> greg: do you know how fast they were going? the faces were blurred. >> kimberly: all right. that is a wrap for us. we want to end on a positive note. god bless him. he's a hero. that's it. thank you for watching. see you tomorrow right here on "the

>> greg: what? hey, bob -- >> kimberly: you're not well behaved. >> greg: it's thursday.thursday move. thursday is like my friday. so the polls, cbs, "new york times" poll finds obama and romney in a dead heat. i want to ask you, if you were involved in obama's campaign, what kind of advice would you give to president obama, would you tell him to hold tight in things might get better. or new game plan. >> bob: i think -- he was in ohio yesterday. ohio is going to be as it usually is, critical to the outcome of the presidential race. here is the thing i find most interesting about all the polls. number of undecided voters are very small. persuadable voters. polarization on both sides is really, i mean they are both sitting around 46% if you ample it all out. normally in a presidential race, it's 40/40. that is the base. 20% persuadable vote. i think that that, what if i were obama i'd focus on that. here is the problem with romney and obama. they do not attract blue collar white, noncollege men. neither one of them. and that is a problem. whoever gets there first will win

i'm greg gutfeld or