. >> greg: okay.little play on fellow traveler. >> greg: , oh, that's funny. >> thanks. >> greg: took awhile. fellow traveler being a sympathizer of whatever but you not participating actively in communism but a sympathizer. >> i don't know where i am. what am i talking about? >> i don't even get the quote. it should by insat iable and not satialbe. >> they copied it down wrong. >> terry, everybody gets one thing wrong. >> and he got the whole thing wrong. everything else that he came up with was -- >> i so to say i'm a little peeved at you because i was super excited to make the point so i'm not going to you again in this segment. >> i stole from you? >> you did. >> it was time traveler. >> yeah. >> greg, you said with the left it is never the ideology that is at fault and they can use quotes from people like mou. i found other good education quotes. education is a weapon whose effects depends on who holds it in his hand and at whose direction it is aimed. stalin. education must provide the opportuni

>> greg: yes.y, when you were a kid, didn't it confuse you to have a bunny that laid eggs? didn't it trouble you? didn't it once cross your mind this isn't that no, bunnies can't lay eggs? >> bob: i punched out an easter bunny once. >> greg: i think it was a playboy bunny -- >> bob: this gay came jumping in a big furry suit, jumped all over me and put me in an arm lo lock. >> eric: are we going have the white house walk back the easter egg roll? >> dana: i think they are going to go forward with it. i want to ask you about the commercialization. do you know this is a reason why we shouldn't water down easter as a holiday. tell people they can't have the easter egg hunt. >> kimberly: can't afford to. >> dana: the average person celebrating easter will spend approximately $145 on candy, decor, apparel. show the apparel of greg, please. and food. that was about, you know, $15 is spent last $$145 last year. picture of greg. he brought this sweater. that is what you wore on good friday last year. >> bob

greg? >> greg: this blows my mind.f the easter egg hunt because of the sequestration they might not have the easter egg hunt. i have decided, eric out of t goodness of my heart for the kids i'm sponsoring an easter egg hunt in my apartment. i am even going to pay the $20 for the easter egg hunt. so tweet me. #gregroll. you like that? #gregroll. you may be eligible to participate in the apartment easter egg hunt. you have to be over 18. >> andrea: you can dress up as the easter bunny. >> bob: i have done that before. >> greg: downtown, though. >> andrea: a lot of people want to know what happens behind the scenes at fock news. one man makes it work every day. the reason we're number one. he is our boss and ceo, ronaler ale. a great book about him now. called "ronaler ale off camera" but chaffitz. he was on last night with sean hannity to

>> greg: all right. someone to do something and they go "oh, yeah, let me double check." they never singularly check. "let me double check." they never check at the beginning when they say "double check. juice they are liars. >> kimberly: single check. >> greg: don't say "single

greg? >> greg: no, go ahead. >> dana: that's all. >> greg: i argue she is not crazy at all.l mocks and evil laughs, those who operate under the structure of good and evil. that is how it has worked since the beginning of time. to them, this is easy. lying is easy. fabricating, fantasies, because they know that you as a good person have to somehow respond to this under the guise of good and evil. under the guise of good and finding truth. they don't have to. so this is fun for her. she will probably enjoy prison. she is the team equivalent of drew peterson. >> bob: do you think she is unstable? >> greg: no. i think when you are a bad person, you mind, it's like water. you go to the path of least resistance. evil finds its way through. >> eric: do you think we're glorifying it? putting her all over the tv? should we look the other way on this stuff? >> what? >> eric: no, no no. i want to talk about it because i think everyone is talking about it. but in general, courtroom cameras, is this a bad idea or good idea? >> kimberly: it's great idea. court tv. >> dana: i'm not for it.

>> greg: hello, everyone. i'm greg gutfeld with kimberly guilfoyle, bob beckel, eric bolling and she eats rainbows for breakfast, dana perino. 5:00 in new york city. but you get that. ♪ ♪ >> greg: so yesterday i named has-been jim carrey for railing on charlton heston. if you missed jim's video, once again. >> ♪ movies are no longer in demand ♪ ♪ immortals, the old man lay forever ♪ ♪ the angels wouldp take him up to heaven like he planned ♪ ♪ because they couldn't pry that gun from his cold dead hands ♪ ♪ with your cold dead aim you're trying to prove your [bleep] is bigger ♪ ♪ but we know the chariot is swinging low ♪ >> greg: edgy stuff. gun owners compensate for the lack of manhood, so i guess our navy seals are all neutered? for the parody of "hee-haw" it is already a pai parody. but carrey and tools like him made this one. and he show what is they think of fly-over america. they hate you. to them you're white red necks. he mocks a dead and decent man, i get you are a clown but at least hit someone who ca

>> greg: run the tours!ion stuff for military, that is arbitrary shotgun approach obama used with the sequestration. >> bob: that was part of what the military had to do. >> greg: he thought he could get away with it. he didn't think anybody would go for it. he is stuck holding the back. like you said a month ago, don't take hostages if you're not willing to -- >> dana: off them. >> andrea: the trigger. sequestration. >> eric: leave it there. up next, cpac 2013 kicks off near washington. why can't we say in washington? we'll show you the highlights from opening day. marco rubio. rand paul. good friend allen west. you hear all from all of them up next on "the five." ♪ ♪ >> andrea: well, it's opening day at cpac, outside washington, d.c. this is the biggest gathering of conservatives since president obama's re-election. mitt romney and paul ryan will address the crowd tomorrow. who were the big speakers today? marco rubio and rand paul fresh off the filibuster fame. >> there has to be a home and movement in am

>> greg: they need an antisex week.ttle intrigued by up with course which we can mention. called vow chipewwowow. i don't know what it involves but it doesn't sound like you will get a job. freddi >> greg: you have a son, eric, three years away from college. >> eric: given your monologue, no comment. paying attention. i think what they were doing is after they realized the funding would be cut they went after the private donation. they got planned parenthood to put money in. honestly, it seems like we're making hay out of not much. there are things that the people do in college, a lot of things they talk about in college that everyone isn't necessarily going to agree on. this is one. >> greg: this is frivolous and stupid. >> dana: imagine being a mom and dad and saved your life the put your kids through college and what is what they come back with. they graduate and live in your basement. they can be on your healthcare until you're 26 and your cell phone plan and run up your itunes account. beautiful thing, family. >> g

they get all thrown up in the air. >> eric: greg? >> greg: yeah. okay.rough the -- these are all the recent targets, by what i call the new white racist, gawker and daily coast and whatever. ben carson, herman cain, allen west, clarence thomas. who do they have in common other than black and conservative? surgeon, ceo, west is a war hero, and thomas is supreme court. what do they have in common? incredibly successful. the success is proof that their values work. that is the scariest thing for a mod earn, white, left wingrace. they prefer their blacks to be chained to government dependency. all the guys have to find that. it makes them sick. >> eric: can i throw something in here? one of the issues here with dr. carson for me, as a conservative, he is not as conservative as the real conservatives out there would like him to be. issues on the second amendment will be problem mattic if he wants to run for president. end of story. his immigration issues may be a problem as well. he has a tough road. the big question, can the g.o.p. win from the moderate part

the guy, greg greg on fox. his -- gre greg gutfeld. to talk foreign policy than thed bydies on "the view." >> i have ad bydd a biddy for y. come see me. >> greg: i love whoopi. first, chavez, now behar. a bad week for communists. when you are around people who agree with you constantly you say stupid things because no one is saying shut up. maybe she finds new friends. >> andrea: i thought she took a slap at her co-host and the show in general that employed her for 17 years. i want to do an intelligent show and talk about smart things. >> dana: i think it can be read that way but i doubt that is how she meant it. >> she is one of the only original members of the show. >> eric: on the way over here, "us weekly" is reporting that elizabeth hasselbeck is leaving as well. >> andrea: her contract is up. >> eric: who is left? >> andrea: i think she was funny. she was good. in the last couple of years she is too partisan. too bitter for the morning. >> greg: sad day for america. like when mickey dolans left the beatles. "the view" won't be th

greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> dana: so the charmer-in-chief is at it again. president obama wined and dined lawmakers at a restaurant near the white house and today tried to court them on their turf on capitol hill with the first of four meetings in the next three days. the mission to win support for a big budget deal. the president made room on the dance card for another sit down with abc news today. what is the new public campaign really all about? the national journal asked a senior white house official and that perp revealed what is behind it -- person revealed red what is behind it all. it's a joke, waste of the president's time. something only being done for the media. greg, let me ask you. who are you going to believe? your own eyes or a senior administration official from the white house? >> greg: i have never trusted my eyes, dana. they let me down many times, usually around last call. like a good grad student president obama thinks you can talk your way to prosperity. is there

>> greg: i do.the idea of blaming obama for this is outrageous. >> greg: it's fun. >> bob: you want to do it, go ahead and do it. when we took office we -- >> andrea: the unemployment rate is higher than when he took office. >> bob: there are not a lot of good jobs out there. you can't live working at quiznos. >> andrea: i had to waitress and i worked hard to find a job. >> bob: well good for you. >> andrea: they have to do it, too. it stinks be it's life. >> bob: take jobs like that and live at home. they can't get apartments or do all of this. >> it stinks. >> bob: rough economy for people coming out of college. that is the end as a result of it. i don't think it's bad all the way around. you don't have an empty nest syndrome. >> greg: families that stay together are a good thing in other countries. italy has 16 generations in one house. >> eric: look, i don't think there is anything wrong with it. you should live at home. i love my son if he needs to live at home, stay at home. >> greg: he is onl

>> greg: because i'm outside your building. >> dana: 99% of people say they dislike greg. >> andrea: dana: yes. >> andrea: very good. there is money behind this. isn't that the reason they are doing this? buying and selling information like currency. there are a couple of companies, double quick is one that comes to mind. what they do, everything you do online, whether it's liking on facebook or searching something on google. every site you click on it goes in this big, big pile of data. they compile it and they figure out what your likes are and interests are. every time you go to another website, you see the ads that are really tailored to you. big, big money. facebook is looking for way to monetize what you are doing. you spend time on facebook, right? they are trying to figure out a way to make it worth their while. make money off of it. there is no surprise they are probably taking all of that data and selling it to advertisers. >> andrea: isn't it scary when you look in the e-mail to see the adds on the side and wonder -- for prescription medicine or other things. this is what

. >> greg: i was altar boy. replaced by a catholic? i think it's kind of bigoted and it discriminate against muslims. why can't we have an islamic pope. if you disagree with me, you're islamphobe. you're a bigot. little bigot. war criminal. >> kimberly: on an interesting note this is going to be a -- this won't be political but they have to have a two-third majority plus one to be able to agree. conclave will meet and decide and it is going to be received 20 days now after the resignation today. >> eric: listen, total respect. can you pull up the full screen? check out the shoes. these are the papal shoes. for seven year he has had the red loafers. everybody thought they were prada. i will inform you, they are not prada. they are made by a local schumacher. they are awesome. they are awesome. i'm going to get a pair. >> special. with everybody where he was, saying, wishing him a good night. might be the time words we hear from him. directly ahead, it's a moment many parents dread. talking to their kids about dru

: you should. >> bob: i should. >> greg: by the way, you swim every day. >> bob: yes. >> greg: you shouldplash." >> dana: go on a high dive and do like a trick on the way down. >> andrea: sticking by my original decision. millionaire match-maker. we have a bachelor who needs a date. >> eric: leave it there. just ahead, did cbs cross the line taking amazing race andto vietnam and forcing the contestants to chant communist propaganda. was it disrespectful to americans who lost their lives in vietnam? that's next on "the five." ♪ ♪ [ male announcer] surprise -- you're having triplets. [ babies crying ] surprise -- your house was built on an ancient burial ground. [ ghosts moaning ] surprise -- your car needs a new transmission. [ coyote howls ] how about no more surprises? now you can get all the online trading tools you need without any surprise fees. ♪ it's not rocket science. it's just common sense. from td ameritrade. ♪ ♪ >> greg: ho chi min. the show, not albanians had the contestants travel to hanoi, vietnam. they were made to mem mize a communist song, done by a kid in front of a larg

greg? >> greg: she must really be let down. >> dana: why?that can say it's been a great ride if they have been in a chariot or on the matterhorn but don't say it about anything else. >> who said it recently. >> greg: i said it when dennis asked me how was it going and i said it's been a great ride. then i cringed. >> bob: how many do we have. >> 463. >> bob: my vocabulary extends to about 700 words in english. [ laughter ] >> bob: would you please -- i can't use most of those. can you please stop this? >> greg: my goal is to eliminate all language and we communicate by grunts are. >> we can sit around stare and each over. >> greg: so the future is to

sent greg e-mail. on sunday night.-mails. >> dana: "amazing race" has viewers and nobody else picked it up. >> greg: the guy that e-mailed me had the best intention. he didn't say you need to destroy the "amazing race." the maybe they screwed up. can you look into it? a nice do us a favor and check it out. >> dana: as we know, bob doesn't always read the full pact coming on the show. your reaction was authentic and genuine and it took us by surprise and we followed your lead. >> bob: not just with me, but i noticed that people were getting angryer and angryer because they were saying, "no comment." you said last week, equivalent of indictment when you do that. i still can't believe they didn't stop it. i congratulate you, by the hundreds of thousands who contacted cbs. dana is right. you are responsible for that. >> eric: you are yielding so much power, do me a favor. get the white house open? >> eric: i don't know -- >> bob: i don't know i have that reach. >> dana: find out who pushed the video? >> bob: oh, shut up, b

greg, as a woman, how do you react to this story? >> greg: wow!78 "coz mow." can we retire the phrase -- does every media person ask the question: can women have it all? no. neither can men. when men were building bridges and falling off of buildings in world wars, were they having it all? no. women were living 10% longer. women may not have it all but they have more than men. that it was woman running facebook? facebook runs the world. while running the world it's in effect turned men in to giddy school girls constantly checking their status and posting pictures. she won. social networks have turned men in to more like women, more communicative. it's positive. >> dana: interesting. >> dana: i read a lot of reviews this weekend. some tried to be mildly supportive but a lot of women were vicious toward her. are you surprised? >> kimberly: yeah. listen, no, i'm not surprised but i agree with her. choose to be a winner in your life and say you can do it or limit yourself and find ways to defeat yourself before everybody else tries to beat you up. you

you're up, greg. >> greg: banned phrase.how different it was back then and how they were in the center of the activity back then. >> dana: we use it to get bob in the conversation. >> greg: most people say "back in day" weren't involved. like in the '90s, back in day, i was on a couch. >> eric: there is no way you haven't banned that phrase yet. >> greg: i haven't. >> dana: i say it a lot. greg someone tested me and said pumpkinseeds are great for scraping parasites out of your body. >> dana: please forgive me. it's the memphis tigers, not michigan. i looked down and saw a big "m." >> kimberly: i wondered about that. >> dana: here is my one more thing. do you hate to see signs misspelled?

: you should. >> bob: i should. >> greg: by the way, you swim every day. >> bob: yes. >> greg: you should" >> dana: go on a high dive and do like a trick on the way down. >> andrea: sticking by my original decision. millionaire match-maker. we have a bachelor who needs a date. >> eric: leave it there. just ahead, did cbs cross the line taking amazing race andto vietnam and forcing the contestants to chant communist propaganda. was it disrespectful to americans who lost their lives in vietnam? that's next on "the five." ♪ ♪ >>> i'm bret baier in washington. the big story here is threat of mass destruction in the middle east. tonight, on "special report," focus of the president's trip to israel is the danger imposedpy iran and syria. president obama promises to do whatever is necessary to keep iran from developing weapons. there are reports if chemical weapons are being used in syria and it means. are you rights threatened by the use of drones in the u.s.? the chairman of the federal reserve says there will be no changechanges in fed policy. we look at the state of the u.s. economy. our ser

greg has a reality check for them.coming up next on "the five." ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: marm 5, we saw misty eyed left wing hacks pay tribute to dead tyrant. sean penn, oliver stone, jimmy carter. shower hugo chavez with bittering babble. and george galoway who considered chavez modern day part cuss, this is george on a tv show pretending to be a cat. >> would you like me to be the cat? >> yes. delicious. >> greg: and he won re-election! but the dribbling olympics is the that he wrote this. the biggest problem venezuela faced is not that chavez was awe attorneauthoritarian, but ts authoritarian enough. the cliche that affects all lefties, hugo was david to our goliath. though he sold billions of dollars fostering a murder rate that dwarfs chicago. oliver stone and sean penn weep over a man is saying we agree with him. this is like women who fall in love with killer option death row. it's about the desperately low opinion they have of themselves, opinion we all share. the equation seems to be i'm a piece of crap so i have to fal

greg has a reality check for them.s coming up next on "the five." ♪ ♪ hey, our salads. [ bop ] [ bop ] [ bop ] you can do that all you want, i don't like v8 juice. [ male announcer ] how about v8 v-fusion. a full serving of vegetables, a full serving of fruit. but what you taste is the fruit. so even you... could've had a v8. and his new boss told him two things -- cook what you love, and save your money. joe doesn't know it yet, but he'll work his way up from busser to waiter to chef bere opening a restaurant specializing in fish and game from the great northwest. he'll start investing early, he'll find se good people to help guide him, and he'll set money aside from his first day of work to his last, which isn't rocket science. it's just common sense. from td ameritrade. ♪ we saw misty eyed left wing hacks pay tribute to dead tyrant. sean penn, oliver stone, jimmy carter. shower hugo chavez with bittering babble. and george galoway who considered chavez modern day part cuss, this is george on a tv show pretending to

greg, your thoughts?greg: i wish the republican party would stop acting like woody allen and engage in this public self-analysis. how we're all in disarray. just win, baby, the raiders. i don't remember the left airing so much dirty laundry in the bush years about their party being in disarray. they galvanized behind their strongest candidate. and they won. i don't know why the republican party has to help their adversaries. just a comment on what the second sound on tape you used. i do agree. i think he is making, he is sounding the right, he is saying the right stuff. you vo distinguish freedom of opportunity and free stuff. i think people come here for freedom of opportunity. not for free stuff. >> kimberly: they do now. they stay for the free stuff. >> greg: the free stuff is economic slavery and freedom is economic opportunity. the republicans have to distinguish that. they can't mimic obama. >> kimberly: the voters don't seem to care. >> dana: the democrats. the most difficult primary that they have

greg didn't come up with the story op its own.re was a vietnam vet e-mailed him -- what, sunday night? >> greg: he e-mailed me and he was polite. he said i'm watching this. this is kind of weird. >> bob: this is how you found out about it? >> dana: from a viewer. >> greg: i took the e-mail and forwarded it to the producer. this is crazy. he made a point. are there going to be three legged races in gettysburg? he had good humor but it bothered him. >> bob: for sure. what do you think? do you agree because it's fox? how can you be that stupid and insensitive? >> andrea: that this has grown bigger than fox news. this is a lot of viewers that are upset with this. i don't know if they are tone deaf and think it will blow over and ride it out? the first rule when you step in you-know-what, fix it. clarify, apologize and move on. this is getting bigger. they haven't stopped the bleeding. i don't think this is going away. this is getting bigger. freddie i think this is about age. they think the average age of the vietnam vet is over the m

. >> greg: good question. i didn't watch the bible because i know how it ends.to tell you it's great to see a show like the bible beat everything on tv. i doubt anything hollywood as much since the price of cocaine and hookers that much. there is a culture that views religion as competition. there are three agents, campus and government. and aussie religion as former competition, one they don't believe religion should be necessary. therefore, if you believe in god it makes it almost impossible to believe in your marxist professor. >> eric: 37% of america calls themselves christians or at least really to the christian philosophy but the growing sector, the most -- i'm sorry, the sector that is growing the most is called the nuns. atheist people that describe to none of the above. ten years ago there was 15% in america, now it's up to 20%. what is going on. >> andrea: i think the culture has gotten so coarse that people are loan any li in the since they are groping for something outside of themselves. the culture doesn't provide it in this country. all the culture

greg will explain when we come back. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ busy in here. yeah.... [ "everybody have fun tonight" plays ] really catching on! people can do it all! get a quote, buy and manage your policy! -[ music stops ] -it's great! well, what's with the... -[ music resumes ] -music? ♪ have fun tonight dude. getting a car insurance quote. i'll let it go to voicemail. [ clears throat ] ♪ everybody wang chung tonight ♪ putting it on vibrate. [ cell phone vibrates ] -[ loud vibrating ] -it'll pass. [ vibrating continues ] our giant store and your little phone. that's progressive mobile. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >>> so the jim carrey gun control video wasn't about the second amendment. it was jim carrey embracing false intelligence. sort of like america's drone program. we it is fitting car rey ridiculing the late charlton heston. there were three but pope jokes as old as the pope. that is why our country is great because washed up comics have the right to suck. based on that jason and carrey are civil rights pioneers, they are jackie robinsons of sucking. i love the first amendmen

>> greg: i am changing my one more thing. we found out that andrea tantaros has a new radio show in january. debuted at number seven in the country. congratulations to andrea. she is well deserved. there are people in front of her that i think would not be, it wouldn't a great loss. >> greg: how nice of you? are you suggesting that could be killed? >> bob: you could do it that way. >> andrea: don't do anything rash. >> bob: i was one of the first guest on your show, right? >> andrea: the first guest. >> bob: you didn't do too well. >> andrea: you should come back. we have a game show for you. >> bob: you asked me ridiculous questions. >> andrea: we played a game show. played one with eric, too. rock and load with eric. played a country music quiz with dana. >> eric: congratulations. thank you. >> andrea: the work is very, very hard. >> eric: my turn? >> greg: yes, eric. >> eric: full screen breathe. one more time. there is still. open hour white house. hashtag it and trend it. trending on and off all day. if you want to twitt

why are you lasting, greg. >> greg: i ignore bullies especially when they talk about their dog.rica. having a workplace bully means you are at work, you have a job. that is a good thing. a lot of people would like to have this problem. the real bullies is coercive government that tries to take money out of your pocketed. what a bully is somebody that wants something from you. >> bob: or school yard bully, what is the definition? >> dana: it's mean girls that grow up. it's that kind of personality. that is what i was wondering. i could understand how this could cause stress and insomnia and all the things we don't want at work. but are we trying to legislate away something that is human nature. how can we put legislate workplace bullying rules? in this company there are rules against bullying. >> which you violate. somebody blows a whistle. i'm guessing that is where we're headed. you and me, dana. >> dana: it would open up for a lot of possible lawsuits, probably most of them frivolous. if you are the bully and you don't realize it, bob? >> bob: why did you direct that question

greg? >> thanks, andy. >> you becha, greg. >>- q. i bye. >>> let's welcome our guests. she is so hot that hot pockets serve her as an after school snack. i am here with anchor lori rothman. and he is so sharp he is often mistaken for a are cay ofing -- for a carving station. and in texas she considered a belt buckle, my sidekick, bill schulz. everybody is in red today. and if fierce commentary was tuna fish he would come in a tiny n cay. gavin mcguinness. writer for "street carnage" and street carnage.com. >> get ready for the least informative show, america. >> he gets more and more mean every day. >> is it defeat for enemies of sweet? well, a judge has cut michael bloomburg down to size. if that is possible. invalidating the ban on large, sugar redrinks a day before it is supposed to go into affect. the tipping lig -- tingling junior says while a gloomy bloomer said he is totally in error, and that the city will prevail on appeal, here is the mayor speaking to reporters after the ruling. >> sir, you want to do the saming as -- the same as everybody else and identify y

thrill up my leg greg. freddie i disagree. stock stock market a casino people play in no matter how bad the economy is. i have two things. banned phrase, "for the record." you don't to say "for the record." what is the problem? >> kimberly: nothing. >> greg: you don't have to say "for the record." just say what you are going to say. >> kimberly: okay. >> greg: it's not like the good wife. not like ally mcbeal. shut up is what i'm saying. >> kimberly: so rude. >> greg: thoughts go out to mr. bob beckel who is out of today. under the weather. we hope he feels better. hi, bob. we miss you. nothing against juan. juan is a woperful person. great back rubs. >> juan: thank you. keep it personal. >> andrea: you also predicted that chavez was going to die. kate would get pregnant. >> eric: and rodman would visit -- >> andrea: any other predictions? >> eric: no. feel better bob. see you soon. >> kimberly: bye. >>> welcome to" red eye." now to andy levy for a pre our top story tonight, the tsa announcers that will once again allow small

>> greg: i did. san mateo. we have to go. >>> sph by law you mean poppers, let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks, greg. our top story, college graduates are moving back home and evicting their parents? i can say something completely not true if i raise the pitch of my voice at the end. and are women getting fatter because they are doing less housework? even if it is true, you can't say that. and what happens if we send bill schulz to check out grand central terminal's celebration? he is bear looy alive, but conscious though to feel the rats gnawing on his muscles, cartilage, tendons, end trails and bones. >> is that all, andy? >> there could be a lot more. >> see you later. >> let's welcome our guests. she puts the fine this finance. i am here with fox business anchor lori roth man. excuse me. he is funnier than a pile of clown vomit, it is tom shilou. look how edgy he is. he has sunglasses on. that's edgy. good for you. you are like an edgy comic. in your f

tweet me at greg gutfeld, and remember to put the hash tag greg roll.ot sure where i am going -- not sure where i am going, but if you are coming you have to be over 18, but under 19. and you can't have any real connection to society. so in case something happens you won't be missed. i will be having you fill out some post cards which you will be sending out to your relatives. so it looks like are you on a vacation for a period of months when in fact you won't be. you will be with me. >> who are all of those people in the background. it looks like woodstock. >> it is like they are singing along with jimmy hendrix. let's move on. do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us. it is red eye at fox news.com. do you have a video of your animal doing something interesting? fox news.com/red eye. click on submit a video. we might use it. we might not. who knows? still to come, the half time report from andy levy. doesn't like easter either. don't know why. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by parade. they are people celebrating a special occasion and i

>> thanks, greg. our top story, did the irs waste taxpayer money on a star trek parody video it made william sat they are an -- william shatner angry? we will watch them go where they have never gone before, in your wallet. and we will hear why gym carrie says -- jim carrey says his bodyguard thing is a idea idea. and look what the media about to spuds mackenzie. the scandal to rock the 80s. >> i don't remember that scandal at all. what happened? >> i believe they named names and schulz was one of them. >> bill schulz was involved with a lot of dogs. go away you strange little man. she is so cute the cadbury bunny sends death threats and she stabbed him in the face. dana perino, former white house secretary. >> press secretary, not secretary. >> and now she is one of my many co-hosts on "the five." move on. and he just finished his shift at dave and busters where he worked as an arcade machinery pair man and he is a writer and comedian. it is jesse joyce. glad you got dressed up. and in wichita he is

greg? >> wow.hat was thorough. >> it gets more involved each time. >> i would call it fan fiction, but it is more like anti-fan fiction. >> it is the opposite of slash fiction. >> do you though there is a police officer in new york arrested for writing such things. >> is that right? >> yes. >> well, that police officer is not me. >> that is true. >> i like the new set, by the way. >> it is permanent. it will be from now on, viewers at home. >> fantastic. >> go away. let's welcome our guest. she spends all of her time getting dangerous men off. i am here tonight with criminal defense attorney remi spencer. and he is so sharp he is not uh you loued near -- he is not allowed near -- he is not allowed near he mow fill yaks. in stockholm he is a syndrome, bill schulz. and i would stick my head inside of him for safety reasons he is the editor-in-chief. that's a copyright there. >> a block. the lede. and now the longest hour in television. >> must their dialogue be such a slog? rand paul got a haul after