>> greg: you know, -- >> jesse: seriously, greg?uld kill the most bad guys. >> greg: my fellow americans... that puts all of us in a bad position. >> dana: it does. that's why i chose it. >> greg: kimberly is scaring me right now. i can't say -- i was going to say dana because she is the most conscientious. it >> kimberly: that's the obvious good answer. [laughter] >> greg: kimberly would pretty much scare the crap out of everyone. >> dana: i would go with kimberly. >> kimberly: >> kimberly: kim jn first. >> dana: jesse? will you nominate yourself? >> jesse: everyone knows i would nominate myself. i probably go with k.g. >> kimberly: guy could at least of the minimum be your vp and i would do all the work. >> juan: i got to tell you, i think whoever you make president, i don't think that's an easy job. >> dana: that is why we are giving it to her. >> juan: it is almost like you're putting your friend under a ton of pressure and you think about facebook, the criticism you're going to get -- >> dana: she doesn't worry about it. she do

the greg gutfeld show is next. see you next week. >> he will insult anybody. >> he's doing it to allies. greg: that is what is going on in your head right now. you are the worst couple to be stuck without a wedding reception. [laughter] you stink. it has been a tough week. rb from around too long and heard way too many people in texas. we've seen the images of houses produced two piles of lumber. both were waiting through intersections, people waiting at waist high in water carrying what few possessions they can keeping the kids in the pats. we have watched on her tv is safe and dry in our homes, counted our blessings and donated a few bucks. we watched rescue after rescue and saw the heroes at work, the coast guard, the national guard and my favorite just mark the cajun navy. they are all the opposite of me. resourceful, helpful and as we watch the stories of heroism and bravery we started to unite a little bit as a nation. all of the divisiveness we have seen all year else will. just as the heroes took over the s

greg: my goodness.had the strongest were possible for neo-nazis. >> call me a racist, because i'm not pc and thank you have to remind me that black lives matter. nazis [bleep] and i would [bleep] the kkk. stay the hell away. greg: he ended with suggesting he may be running for president one day. >> if it's kid rock for senate, got some folks in disarray, way to lay here kid rock for the president of the usa. wouldn't be a sight to see president kid rock in washington dc? standing on the oval office like a g. greg: i'm sorry. how is it even possible to compete with that? good luck, democrats. although they have already started looking for their candidates. [inaudible] greg: martin o'malley. and we all have forgotten you. jason, is trumpet changed the way future politicians will -- that could work. i couldn't think of anyone that could be that. >> that is the real moment for me was during the mitt romney campaign and kid rock did a lot for mitt romney and to see them talking about policy was blowing my mi

means it. >> greg: yes. first of all, we have to talk about him calling kim jong un "rocket man." he should continue this. he should refer to benjamin netanyahu as benny and the jets and emmanuel as tiny dancer. attitudes about the u.n. -- we have all figured this out -- especially around this horrible place, epcot without the amazing food court. finally we have a president that says we are going to reform it in for the longest time come at the u.n. has always pointed fingers at us. passing judgments on us while they double parked their limos and don't pay their parking tickets, they harass our call girls. they close down department stores so can buy their mistress a stuffed boar. >> dana: that happened? >> greg: i made that up. they take advantage of this country, a free ride. it's nice of the president is saying the word reform. reform means we are now looking at you. we are looking at you. you have to change your ways. enough about us. >> jesse: i take issue with something that i got the outside. i've bee

greg: to move on. the north korean minister hurled some insults and threats to present it up on saturday. that is my name is jeff sheldon, and i'm the founder of ugmonk. before shipstation it was crazy. it's great when you see a hundred orders come in, a hundred orders come in, but then you realize i've got a hundred orders i have to ship out. shipstation streamlined that wh the order data, the weights of , everything is seamlessly put into shipstation, so when we print the shipping ll everything's pretty much done. it's so much easier so now, we're ready, bring on t. shipstation. the number one ch of online sellers. go to shipstation.com/tv and get two months free. did you know slow internet can actually hold your business back? say goodbye to slow downloads, slow backups, slow everything. comcast business offers blazing fast and reliable internet that's 10 times faster than slow internet from the phone company. say hello to faster downloads with internet speeds up to 150 megabits per second. get fa

greg: to move on. the north korean minister hurled some insults and threats to present it up on saturday. that is day 13. if only this were as easy as saving $600 when you switch to progressive. winds stirring. too treacherous for a selfie. [ camera shutter clicks ] sure, i've taken discounts to new heights with safe driver and paperless billing. but the prize at the top is worth every last breath. here we go. [ grunts ] got 'em. ahh. wait a minute. whole wheat waffles? [ crying ] why! live-streat the airport.e sport binge dvr'd shows while painting your toes. on demand laughs during long bubble baths. tv on every screen is awesome. the xfinity stream app. all your tv at home. the most on demand your entire dvr. top networks. and live sports on the go. included with xfinity tv. xfinity, the future of awesome. greg: more stuff happening. north korea's foreign minister spoke before the un general assembly. that is fun. here is what he said. >> he has tried to turn the un arena to a where money is respect

greg: to move on. the north korean minister hurled some insults and threats to present it up on saturday. that is next. ugh. heartburn. sorry ma'am. no burning here. try alka-seltzer heartburn relief gummies. they don't taste chalky and work fast. mmmm. incredible. can i try? she doesn't have heartburn. alka-seltzer heartburn relief gummies. enjoy the relief. are made with smarttrack®igners material to precisely move your teeth to your best smile. see how invisalign® treatment can shape your smile up to 50% faster today at invisalign.com ♪ hungry eyes ♪ one look at you and i can't disguise ♪ ♪ i've got hungry eyes ♪ applebee's 2 for $20. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. ♪ applebee's 2 for $20. hey grandpa. hey, kid. really good to see you. you too. you tell grandma you were going fishing again? maybe. (vo) the best things in life keep going. that's why i got a subaru, too. introducing the all-new crosstrek. love is out there. find it in a subaru crosstrek. did you hear directv's latest deal?

. >> greg: welcome back, america. i am greg gutfeld with kimberly guilfoyle, juan williams, jesse watters, dana perino. "the five" at 5:00. what the hell, nfl? what is next? some players kneeled for the anthem in england but stood for "god save the queen." the british empire sent three millions of africans into slavery. the players stood for the most imperialist empire of all time. i am officially outraged. i now protest the protesters. see how easy that was? some redskins took a knee. they are fine with what is on their helmet but not the flag. this issue has one extra ingredient: trump. how about the raiders? their emblem is a pirate. i bet pirates weren't community organizers. kneeling is a protest against racism. others say disrespects the flag. others see it as a time to stretch their quads. that is lesean mccoy. he got 21 yards on 14 carries. keep stretching, champ. this all started with colin. nancy, can you help me with his name? >> colin kaepernick doing what he did. >> greg: he took a knee. he also wore sock

greg. >> greg: well done. greg's vacuum news. equal part dog and equal part vacuum. golden retriever mix, being massaged. when you are doing this, make sure the dog enjoys it. as you can tell by the dock space, just remember always get the dog's consent. that's enough. >> dana: a good way to make sure you not have for all of your caps. juan. >> juan: walter becker, cofounder of steely dan, died. they cofounded the band in the late '60s. they produced iconic hits such as "do it again" and deacon blues" their lyrics i really love them or about life, love, drugs. i think it's the best soundtrack of the ' 70s aunt '80s and always incorporated jazz. walter becker, steely dan. >> dana: wow, you like songs about drugs? >> jesse: houston, texas, started raising money for harvey. set a goal for $200,000. he has now raised -- you ready? $20 million through all generous support of everybody donating. just an incredible story. hats off to j.j. watt. >> dana: kennedy. >> kennedy: william and duchess of cambridge are expecting their third child. the duchess suffering from what sou

greg. >> greg: my podcast is up right now. i'm interviewing the band dream machine.lightful. i am sure you will like it. now let's go to this. greg's to happiness. sometimes you only need two things in life. a hammock and one single rice snack. take a look at this little fella. the key to happiness is you find a comfortable place to relax and you just take your time and nibble away. don't eat too fast because you are lying on your back and you could choke on that but that's the secret to happiness right there. and if you can enlist the help somebody scratch her head. that would be really nice. there it is. that little guy, he's not sure what that is. he's not saying that the or anything. >> jesse: that's big news. that's not a rice snack. that looks like shredded wheat. >> juan: peggy whitson return to earth from the international space station saturday. it was a historic return. she's the astronaut would spend the most total days in space, male or female and the oldest female asked her not to travel at 57 years old. the thing she missed the most? pizza and flushing

. >> greg: time for one more. >> kimberly: cut you off. >> greg: phobias.uan? >> juan: you know it. if i tell you, you will torture me. i am not going to mention it again. you know i don't like elevators. [laughter] >> greg: it's so odd because you like getting high. kimberly? phobias? you are scared of nothing. >> kimberly: i don't know. i have had snakes on me. and tarantulas. i don't know. >> jesse: squirrels. possums, raccoons, snakes, pigeons. pigeons are dirty. >> gillian: darkness. >> greg: do you sleep with the light on? >> gillian: no but it can't be pitch black. >> kimberly: you don't use blackout curtains. interesting. >> greg: i have a fear. death. >> kimberly: i thought you were afraid of me. >> greg: you are death. you are the grim reaper. i thought it was steve bannon but it's you. >> kimberly: you know it. the show is on tomorrow night. we have jason chaffetz. and tyrus and now it is time for this. gregs corrections; is that not cute? >> all right. and so the lawyers here are telling me i have to say this. last week i did a monologue and the

>> greg: i think i am done.y new book comes out. >> dana: "one more thing" is up next. ...there's something you to smay be missing. a key part of your wellness that you may be... ...overlooking. ♪ it's your eyes. that's why there's ocuvite, from bausch + lomb. as you age your eyes can lose vital nutrients. ocuvite helps replenish those nutrients. ocuvite has lutein, zeaxanthin, and omega-3. nourish your eyes to help them be their healthy best. ocuvite eye vitamins. be good to your eyes. ♪ >> kimberly: it's time for "one more thing." i want to give you an update on puerto rico. we've been covering it. one of the major issues we have discussed is only 11 of the 69 hospitals have fuel and power in addition to the professionals leaving for the mainland during the economic crisis there. thankfully people are stepping up to help these patients and our very own doctor is there to provide medical assistance. geraldo is the reporting and the american rapper known as pitbull lent his private jet to transfer patients from

>> greg: 64.o where we'd dive deeper into the gastrointestinal issues. number two. [laughter] >> kimberly: let's take a field trip to aaa. >> jesse: one of the biggest leakers -- >> greg: i'mst sorry. ♪ p and filed a claim, but, you know how they send you money to cover repairs and - -they took forever to pay you, right? no, i got paid right away, but, at the very end of it all, my agent- -wouldn't even call you back, right? no, she called to see if i was happy, but, if i wasn't happy with my claim experience, for any reason... ...they'd give me my money back, no questions asked. can you believe that? no. the claim satisfaction guarantee, only from allstate. switching to allstate is worth it. you know win control? be this guy. check it out! self-appendectomy! oh, that's really attached. that's why i rent from national. where i get the control to choose any car in the aisle i want, not some car they choose for me. which makes me one smooth operator. ah! still a little tender. (vo) go national. go l

greg, have fun. >> greg: i just realized, dan rather has been right if you than a stopped clock.t think anybody has ever set on the television before and i'm glad i said it. for the democrats and the media, story is there a stress ball. when they can't handle trump, they have to squeeze the russian story, squeeze, squeeze. it's less effective because it builds no muscles. it's so funny to watch the democrats who used to think the ussr were wonderful when theyul could destroy it. they now think they are okay when they are one eighth the size. there are two roads to take. be like dianne feinstein, give the president the chance. or cling to the russian story, you can fantasizeha that he is going to be impeached every day, you are going insane, you are insane. >> kimberly: you are witnessing it live. >> gillian: if you put politics aside for a second and we talk about what actually happened with that, i worry that we can cut and cut and cut, since this all started with president obama expelling 35 russians at the end of 2015 right before he left office in retaliation for election mod

. >> greg: hi, i'm greg gutfeld with juan williams, jesse waters and dana perino, k.g. "the five." >> greg: according to newsbusters, a thing, in the last three months, broadcast news coverage of donald trump was 91% negative. which is shocking. there was 9% positive? i didn't see it. i've seen more favorable coverage of scurvy. according to the media research center, trump's air time in his first days in office than obama did in his last two years on the job. which makes sense. trump is a one man band generating money and outrage or, rather, money for the outraged. like msnbc's joy reid in an interview she stated "i've said to people that this is probably the greatest time to be a journalist. and the worst time to be a human." oh, dear. dear. let's think about that! reid, a journalist said that this is probably the worst time to be a human? where did she go to school? i kind of remember reading about the dark ages. the black death. the mongels, nazi concentration camps, the atrocities of the aztecs, famine in ukraine, the khmer rouge, western front during world war i.

it goes back to greg's point.onder if the fact that this hawkish reaction function was also the function of them having a different reaction function because they are trying to normalize. what we are hearing from every central bank, we are trying to normalize, not tighten. at some point when they want to tighten, i wonder if then they will care about inflation a little bit more. jonathan: i think everyone is trying to understand the reaction function. and have been for quite a while. everyone is sticking with us. we will come back with gregory peters, colin robertson, and priya misra. coming up on the program, the auction block. president donald trump made waves at the u.n. this week with strong talk about north korea. the bond market has been shrugging it off. that is next. this is "bloomberg real yield." ♪ ♪ jonathan: i am jonathan ferro. this is "bloomberg real yield." i want to head to the auction block. last week, we had tajikastan offering eye-opening amand from that country. this week, we had ukraine. the c

. ♪ >> greg: hi, i am greg gutfeld. and dana perino. jesse watters, juan williams and lisa boothe.urricane irma remains an incredibly category 5 hurricane. trudging its way towards florida. expected landfall this weekend. the latest, let's go to adam housley who is in the storm's path. speak of the latest news came in, governor rick scott in florida has ordered all schools, university, elementary, all schools closing in the entire state tomorrow as they prepare for this massive storm basically the size of texas as it heads this way. the storm is so concerning the people in this area have already gotten out. the reason some people left a couple of days ago was the video and pictures that have been coming out of the crib in the last few days -- we've seen them. every time we see the new video, it's unbelievable, the destruction taking place. right now, taking place in turkey and caicos. everyone is worried about that island. basically because there are no mountains there as well. it's very flat. the storm surge, the winds, heading right over it as we speak. very strong concern for so

and greg. >> greg: we need all this information?pecific individuals. >> greg: okay, podcast, you listen to dave rubin, great podcast. i'm on it. go to youtube and put in the report, and there is me putting very strange. it is really good. now it is time for "i hate these people." i have not done these in a while. guide the gym, dude with a man bond that brings in multiple water bottles and puts them at water bottle station, nobody can use it, i'm onto you. i've been watching you, i'm doing stuff with that water pretty better stop. you better stop. we all pay their dues at the gym, it is not just your gym, youte jerk. >> jesse: road rage over here, dana. >> dana: i had one about the hurricane, google it, you will love it. >> jesse: set your dvr, "hannity" is up next. >> sean: thanks to all of our friendspr on "the five," telling congress to do their job. putting work on the reagan tax form that the american people voted for, and they will benefit from. tonight on this program we will offer up solutions and we will explain why this is

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we'll call it hurricane vladimir, the whole russian thing. >> kimberly: greg, have fun. >> greg: i feeldan rather has been right fewer times than a stopped clock. i don't think anybody has ever said that on television before. the russian story is there stressful. they have to squeeze the russian story, squeeze. it builds no muscles. it's so funny to watch the democrats who used to think the ussr were wonderful when they could destroy it. they now think they are okay when they are one eighth the size. be like dianne feinstein, give the president the chance. or cling to the russian story, you're going to go insane, you are insane. >> kimberly: you are witnessing it live. >> jillian: if we put politics aside for a second, we talk about what actually happened with this. i worry that we can cut and cut and cuts, this all started with president obama expelling 35 russians at the end of 2015 right before he left office in retaliation for election meddling. then they cut to 750 americans, now we cut, we can cut until there's no one left on diplomatic channels on either side to be their country.

>> greg: like kale.ng more and more inhumane when it comes to physical attraction because they don't need to go out and meet someone. we don't like talking about it but it's affecting families. it's affecting marriages. if you talk to any priest or parent, they will tell you it's a big problem because the biggest vulnerability to monogamy is novelty. pornography is being trucked into your house all the time. monogamy is strong until you get to that point. that's the biggest challenge. it's a big issue but nobody wants to talk about it. instead they talk about freedom and liberation. we -- there is no way you're going to change this. at least you should acknowledge the reality of what has happened since playboy came out which is we now have something -- we have a faucet of flesh in our house. >> juan: i couldn't agree more. i want to say how he changed what it meant to be a man in america. the emphasis come up putting aside the legitimate point you made about the flood of pornography, the emphasis on the

>> greg: i just see people... >> juan: gregory, gregory -- >> greg: they hated that we moved. >> juanwas going to say. they're going to use this opportunity to tell us how much -- i hope they celebrate. those folks that have been watching at 9:00, maybe you have not seen us before. come on back. you know, before i was so rudely interrupted by dr. greg gutfeld, i was telling you to use the hashtag and we are going to air all the videos, the pictures of you celebrating. some cynics don't believe it but yes. right. >> greg: [laughs] >> juan: kimberly, what do you think? >> kimberly: i'm thrilled to go back to 5:00 p.m. the show was so great there. it's where we began. they loved the show at 5:00. many of them were not able to stay but i love what you said, it's so true. we have new viewers, people that joined our five family at 9:00 and now they are part of our viewership too and we are appreciative of them and we hope you come with us. >> juan: what about you? will you have to give craig seekers jacket back? >> oh! >> greg: >> jesse: real men wea, juan. get off the air in the heart of h

jonathan: what are your thoughts, greg? greg: it has to have some effect.you believe qe, the sole purpose was to tighten risk premium, divorce people at the risk -- to force people at the risk curve, then the reverse has to have some effect. it might not be one for one, but it cannot be zero. i think the fed is getting extreme cover from other central banks. i think that is the story. it is the ecb and the boj. jonathan: we can basically show the consensus that the federal reserve has of the overall stimulus pie. that is decreasing as the ecb and think of japan have increased stimulus. that is slowly rolling over. it is not the market does not care, but it is as great points out the ecb is giving them cover. colin: i think the ecb is giving them a lot of cover. i think the balance central banks around the world have on their balance sheet is significant. ton dropping 4.5 trillion 2.5 trillion over the timeframe the fed is talking about, i could see why investors are relatively call about it. janet yellen give herself room that if this is not done well, the

jonathan: what are your thoughts, greg? greg: i think the fed is trying to pull a fast one.has to have some sort of effect. if you believe qe, the sole purpose was to tighten risk premium, to force people at the risk curve, affect a portfolio channel, then the reverse has to have some effect. it might not be one for one, but it cannot be zero. it cannot be watching paint dry. i think the fed is getting extreme cover from other central banks. i think that is the story. it is the ecb and the boj. jonathan: we can basically show the percentage that the federal reserve has of the overall stimulus pie. the ecbeen declining as and bank of japan have increased stimulus. that is slowly rolling over. is that what we are seeing here? it is not the market does not care, but the ecb has given them some cover. colin: i think the ecb is giving them a lot of cover. clearly, the balance that the central banks across the globe have on their balance sheets is significant. even dropping 4.5 trillion to 2.5 trillion over the timeframe the fed is talking about, i could see why investors are rela

greg. >> greg: one positive thing when you see this the power of decentralized government. one of the largest evacuations you've ever seen and the rest of the country rolls out. the bottom up descent ral ietzed country. everything else is okay. it would be total paralysis in a socialist country. we know how to deal with these things. we can run our governments and military and capitalism while something like this is happens. i'm not going to miss all the weathermen competing for who can stay outside the longest. it's an unspeakable truth it looks like fun. when you were a kid and there was a storm, you wanted to be outside and so you are watching this and they're telling us to stay inside, stay out of harm's way yet you turned on every channel and there is a guy looks like he is doing leg splits or he is stretching his cavs and leaning in like this and i'm just watching going like i get it. i get it. this is like -- if i were a kid i would go maybe i will go outside. >> kimberly: you want them to send you next time? >> greg: it looks like fun but i don't know if that's the

greg is very jealous.ted for her and her first day will be on monday and her brand-new position. we will miss you and we are very proud of you. >> greg: seriously that's brutal. >> jesse: soo there is this 11-year-old boy and all he wanted to do was mow the white house lawn. he has a long boring business. he wrote a letter to the president. and the president went to greet him and he just ignoredd him. and he kept mowing the white house lawn. and finally the president caught up with him had a few nice word words. >> he's going to be very famous and be a navy seal. doing great things for our country. >> jesse: and frank will be on waterworld's. he will see that there on saturday night. >> jesse: >> shut out to the ine community punches back once again. to reward and honor chelsea manning this year. the director of the cia and former deputy director of the cia showing there on the screen. they resigned from harvard and decided not to give a speech at harvard in protest of this decision. if all that undermined

>> greg: absolutely it would. >> sean: self-analysis here. >> greg: there is none.t it be refreshing if she said "i ran an abysmal campaign, i was a lousy candidate, i never truly understood what americans care about, i never developed a message that resonated with voters." again, that would require a measure of honesty and self reflection, and she can't acknowledge the truth and she never will. >> larry: sean, she could have said "my husband governed from the center. he cut capital gains. he did the welfare reform act of 1996. my boss governed from the hard left." but she can't say that. >> sean: stay right there. we're going to have more with greg and larry right after this break and also coming up tonight a blockbuster interview. "sick minutes" white house former chief strategist steve bannon making major headlines in his first interview since leaving the white house. the man who killed billion dollar and a good friend of mine who lost her brother. one of the pilots on 9-11-2001. straight ahead. if you spit blood when you brush or floss you may have gum problems

i agree with greg. i would, instead of amending it myself as president through executive order, kick it back to congress and let congress deal with immigration. that's the role of congress. president obama's executive order was illegal and technical ly these kids are illegal but at the same time you don't punish the sop for the sin s of the father. it's like charging a kid for like an accessory to a bank robbery because the mom put the kid in the car, the get away car it's just not fair. so, you know, sometimes you make decisions based on your heart and sometimes you make decisions based on your mind. the president has been wrestling with this issue because it's very thorny for him. i believe he is going to make the right decision. this whole leaking that he might kill it is probably a pump fake to make everybody go one direction and he will come back and hopefully hold it in place. >> speaking of congress, why didn't democrats get this done when they controlled both bodies of congress and the white hou

greg, what will this meeting ultimately end up with?tal from the president that the u.s. is going to announce more sanctions on north korea. greg: the president made that announcement this morning saying he would be announcing new sanctions, but was short on details. his national security adviser says trump is trying to do everything short of war to solve the crisis. now, president loan of south korea gave his remarks to the you when this morning and it struck a very different tone than prime minister abe of japan or trump's remarks. earlier, he said we cannot accidentally starting more and destroying peace. kevin cirilli in washington, who was the u.s. president likely listening to an administration on this? notable to see he was sitting next to or near president trump during those remarks that we just heard. he was joined by top lieutenants in his administration, including vice president pence as well as u.n. ambassador nikki haley and secretary of state rex tillerson, and also, this is the big coup here, what we are going to get late

greg argos is live in the stat center with local reaction tonight. greg? >> the devastation in mexico is incredible. many people already comparing this quake to one which struck mexico city on this very day in 1985. that one killed tens of thousands of people. right now, with phone lines down in mexico city, many loved ones living here are worried about the family members to the south. more than 100 people dead. buildings toppled. and millions in mexico city are reeling from a massive earthquake which has rattled the largest metropolitan area. >> sending us information about this terrible earthquake. >> reporter: we're more than 20,000 mexicans call home, it's been busy fielding calls and helping calm those with family in the affected area >> as long as we have information we will provide information to the community to be patient while they're dialing