[ laughter ] >> greg: i'm kidding. >> no. >> greg: dr.llness. >> okay. >> greg: what is bill's problem? [ laughter ] >> wow! >> greg: does feel personal about trump with bill. >> it's not. >> greg: it feels that way. >> it's not. >> it's not personal. it's just a difference of opinion. >> greg: did he sue you? >> i didn't know. >> in the news. >> greg: i don't follow everything in your life. >> he sued me because i said he possibly was the son of an orangutan. and showed the picture and the hair colour looks like an orangutan. >> what is interesting with origin he's always been the stand up politician and now heading towards carrot top and what is at the podium and he is a comedian at the podium. >> greg: he realizes he's winning. i think that's bothering you bill. >> it is bothering me. he is insurrection that doesn't believe in democracy and of course bothering me and insane and a criminal. >> except for that bill. >> greg: other than that vote for him. >> what works for him and the clip you showed he's almost the same age as biden. but

>> greg: just a away,.rns per minute someone should be doing? >> i thought that was annoying. like oh my god how are you. you are so interesting and i'm so normal! that would be very distracting but i read this and i'm like i have a herniated disk in my neck and sometimes my neck seizes up so i got really self-conscious like to people think i'm a psychopath? really i'm in agonizing pain. do you have any a leave? >> greg: no i don't. >> that would be great. >> greg: but the massage later, from three to five. coming up, more hilarity remains as viewers pick our brains. >>> business is done here. >> summer heroes, some were villains, and that's where the fun begins. >> u.s. marshal. >> this is outlaws on lawmen, now streaming on fox nation. (♪) hey folks, chris counahan for leaffilter—the permanent gutter solution that protects your home in so many ways, it takes more than one chris to explain it. am i right chris? that's right chris. but together, i think we've got the job covered. like leaffilter has your gu

>> greg: just a away,. an ideal amount of turns per minute someone should be doing? >> i thought that was annoying. like oh my god how are you. you are so interesting and i'm so normal! that would be very distracting but i read this and i'm like i have a herniated disk in my neck and sometimes my neck seizes up so i got really self-conscious like to people think i'm a psychopath? really i'm in agonizing pain. do you have any a leave? >> greg: no i don't. >> that would be great. >> greg: but the massage later, from three to five. coming up, more hilarity remains (vo) dan made progress with his mental health... ...but his medication caused unintentional movements in his face, hands, and feet called tardive dyskinesia, or td. so his doctor prescribed austedo xr— a once-daily td treatment for adults. ♪as you go with austedo♪ austedo xr significantly reduced dan's td movements. some people saw a response as early as 2 weeks. with austedo xr, dan can stay on his mental health meds- (dan) cool hair! (vo) austedo x

it's edited or something and of story. >> greg: yes. >> am i wrong? >> greg: cosign.nd disagrees with regard. >> airbnb stands for bed and [bleep] okay? here's the deal. if it really is an -- okay? going in to the shed to get the key gimmick whenever you get an airbnb and the owner is an online other like the keys in the mailbox or the keys and then -- and two tyrus' point the idea that we are so sophisticated realtime travel 30 years in to the future but we dressed the same in 2052 or whatever year would be, i went to community college i have no idea is so stupid so no, it's fake. it's tiktok. -- >> they're both looking at the camera -- [laughter] >> greg: by the way, but bear is going to be doing an hour special on this video on fox nation because we believe we have some -- we have some interesting, unfolding fax as this is happening. >> bread is like, don't drag me into this. [laughter] >> greg: i'm getting a course. but doesn't have any idea about the story and i don't blame him. >> listen in an work in the pulley and i am i it's not working for him. [laughter] >>

>> greg: please. time you and i went to see the movie and you kept yelling fire. [ laughter ] soon and i had to pay the price. >> greg: i said we get it! stop yelling fire! >> could you imagine if you and i actually ever hung out. that ever happen? auto think so. me before a spinoff series. >> greg: i would do a fox nation show with you. >> is that he favored up? >> mind to. >> i have to wrap up here. >> okay! [ laughter ] >> i was going to say, on one aboard you but i think this is significant, wish me luck, a bunch of college kids, in march, and was it was important thing, you what he said connect the palestinian israeli fight was 15th at 16th, what happened to in march and the end of april this was total manipulation, and it's only 34 percent of college students even knew about the conflict. what changed in a month and a half? the big question is, back to what you said charlie, college kids are not concentrating enough, they're drinking and partying too much vermaak those were the old days went to

[laughter] >> greg: lila .at a healthcare event revealed visible markings from cpap machine on biden's face. his staff pointed this as proof that he's breathing. [laughter] on wednesday joe rogan called "w." a reviews infested had house. "w." responded by saying it's okay. you don't have to clap. thank you, tyrice. a proposed law in california would ban your boss from regularly contacting you after work hours. and at least two people hope this law comes to new york. [laughter] i just called you to tell you about my nightmares! >> in movies. >> greg: yes. rumors about -- once the prince harry's virginity. but this little debate about who took turns harry's balls. [laughter] the biden administration is spending $422,000 to treat diabetes with native american healing circles. any other american healing circle? so that's what we're calling blackjack tables? [laughter] >> i love that one. [cheering and applause] >> greg: today is national tell a lie they. the way, great job kat. >> wow. not nice. [laughter] >> greg:

>> greg: do you do that? >> shannon: i do. >> greg: j.j. jay? self a pep talk. i just look at someone that was a complete idiot ahead of me and be like, you know what, if they did it, i know i can. >> greg: that's amazing. that's a good one. kevin? >> kevin: i cheat a little bit come as an only child, i call my mom for a pep talk. >> shannon: i like that. >> greg: what about you, judge? >> judge jeanine: i do it with music. i fire myself up with music. is it katy perry did "roar?" that's what i put on. katy perry. or kenny logins, "this is it," like, this is it, jeanine, you are done. >> shannon: judge and i are going to have a music dance party. >> greg: a pep talk? i hope somebody else. >> shannon: oh, know you don' don't. >> kevin: give them your password. >> greg: then all of a sudden i forget my problems. that is the secret to the world. >> shannon: ♪ we are the world ♪ >> greg: what movie did you watch that stayed with you long after leaving the theater? kevin? >> kevin: this is like a pressure thing right here. i mean, so i loved "oppenhe

>> greg: just a away,., is there an ideal amount of turns per minute someone should be doing? >> i thought that was annoying. like oh my god how are you. you are so interesting and i'm so normal! that would be very distracting but i read this and i'm like i have a herniated disk in my neck and sometimes my neck seizes up so i got really self-conscious like to people think i'm a psychopath? really i'm in agonizing pain. do you have any a leave? >> greg: no i don't. >> that would be great. >> greg: but the massage later, from three to five. coming up, more hilarity remains after 30 years of research, brain scientists have discovered the key factors that can cause mental decline in memory issues, introducing neuroq, the breakthrough brain supplement that can help your memory, focus and concentration to improve the quality of your life everyday. neuroq is the result of years of research studying the precise nutrients your brain needs to perform better. in an internal study, four out of five neuroq users saw sig

that's just weird. >> greg: tell me about it.[ laughter ] [ applause ] is it true, joel? every person that you've applauded, you have supper with? >> i don't kiss and tell, just your studio my kissing stories. but i will say that someone your side, i hate movie sex scenes. broke back mountain! [ laughter ] ruined a perfectly good western film! that's why i think i would be a great intimacy coordinator for movies because whenever i start watching people making out, they stop. [ laughter ] >> greg: by the way, cat has a very good point, let's say you are in a real situation and somebody's making out in front of you. it makes you uncomfortable. why would anybody think that in a movie that would make you feel good watching two people? i don't need to see that. >> i'm not uncomfortable. [ laughter ] >> greg: you are usually in a tree. up next, a speech goes awry because he got to high. [ applause ] from the #1 rated brand in cordless outdoor power, the ego zero-turn riding mower with e-steer technology. drives like a car, turns on a d

d greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city, and this is "the five." [laughs] are you happy, greg?s is "the five." ♪ ♪ the squad's hamas caucus is demanding more campus chaos, while denying the threat to jewish students that jewish students face from anti-semitic mobs. the nypd busting up two more anti-israel protests, clearing out encampments at nyu and the new school. it was a less confrontational scene compared to madness at ucla and colombia, with some protesters obeying orders from the police to disperse and get out of their tents. but leave it to the squad to give cover to the mob. the radical progressive lawmakers are downplaying anti-semitism. >> the same to a jewish student, to a palestinian student, to everybody, that it is really important to educate yourself about what is anti-semitic, about what is islamophobic. >> i visited the columbia encampment last week, and they were completely peaceful. i also met with so-called pro-israel students when i was there, just to hear about the anti-semitism that they have experienced, and they told me, it has been minimum. it has bee

>> greg: if you don't enjoy that that i don't want to know you. this young person learned and ego wrapped in a parents is fine until you break the law this is an attack on speech know its effective policing. is much as i like a douchebag being carried off like a mattress of a twin bed you are also giving them what they want victim status something they don't deserve. it's 1 of the many scenes of campus chaos as dopey students chanda logan -- of slogans they don't understand about a conflict they can't explain some general -- hate jews some don't know what's going on. this is their version of the keg party but without the booze to hide the fact that they are ugly. either way they are spouting anti-semitism loudly and proudly which is legal until it isn't. it's not legal to block jewish students from getting to their classes is not legal to allow assaults and squatting it's not legal to break into campus buildings. the even trooped in with a flag screaming for revolution but it's a marxist wealth in sheet seclude thing from black panthers to the wea

greg's sexy animal news. fun. melbourne zoo. just flashing all over me. not in the eyes. give me the hose. give me the hose. the waves splashing against my skin as i twirl and surf against the cold, yet warm breeze oh. [laughter] >> judge jeanine: okay. >> jesse: is it hot in here? [laughter] >> jesse: where are those napkins? >> judge jeanine: today is national pizza day. what better way to celebrate than with a party around the table to start the weekend. everyone's favorite pizza. mine is peperoni. >> harold: sausage and peperoni. >> jesse: peperoni. >> dana: peperoni but i asked for vegetarian just to be exclusive. >> greg: i like mine with bacon. >> judge jeanine: we now have a horrific assault on tape. p. diddy. don't forget fox nation has it. what did diddy do or did he do it? all right. and i'm on hannity tonight. jesse? >> jesse: we have a great morning at hudson farms, a shoot to raise money for the special forces charitable trust. the great organization that provides healthcare and all sorts of res

all right. >> greg: okay that will do.ednesday. democratic national committee plans to nominate biden virtually ahead of the convention some say it's to allow him on the ohio ballot some say it's to protect them from the sent of formaldehyde. the judge began deliberating in the hush money trial telling jurors they must be unanimous leaving the prosecution to request male in ballots. don't sumy. scientists a canadian super pigs might invade the united states like we don't already have enough here. nothing can bring america together then a joke about the views away. native american groups allege of the first indigenous art curator faked indian heritage to get the job none of them what want to be the 1 who asks her to give it back. i will just sit here until you guys address the fact that it was a decent joke. [ cheers and applause ] >> greg: i don't need it year pity up lots. a recent study ranked houston as america's dirtiest city because of air quality tests and infrastructure woes upon hearing this san francisco said hold

. ♪ ♪ >> greg: will get back to that. i'm greg gutfeld along with judge jeanine pirro, marie hart, jesse watters, and she had her family reunion in a shoe box. dana perino. "the five." ♪ ♪ joe biden's big anti-semitism speech not stopping calls for the beheadings as kappa kappa al qaeda gets in touch with their inner isis. cops liberating george washington from occupied hamas with d.c. police moving to dismantle g.w.'s anti-israel encampment but not before the terror-loving dweebs got two weeks of cosplaying as the real thing, with literal calls to chop off the heads of school administrators. [chanting] >> greg: freaks also beaming up pro-terrorist slogans, "long live the student intifada," jesse. naturally the squad is finding solidarity with protesters who harass jews. >> they have been arrested and charged with disproportionate offenses. they have been wrongfully smeared as anti-semitic. >> free, free! >> palestine! >> police pepper sprayed, brutalized, interested nonviolent student protesters at george washington univ

>> greg: that was the green 1.t is big bird have. >> big bird is a her so i don't know. >> what it you make of the rally? >> she was surprised people showed up how did they find out of it. just everything she said trump is wasting his time in new york and is not exactly fits his decision to spend so much time here lately. and also is biden going to win new york probably i would be shocked if he doesn't of but that doesn't mean it was a waste of time. this is national news right. everybody is talking about it talking about the people who wanted to see this because who would've expected expected something like this to happen now this if it was wasted just because biden is going to win new york and just calling voters clowns when all you know about them as they wanted to see trump speak really you couldn't have thought she could outdo herself after that comment she sounded just a stupid. >> the gift of trump's he exploits the media they had to cover in people whom are watching that going well he made of 10,000 people

greg? >> greg: tonight on gutfeld jim breuer. kat timpf, tyrus. it's time for greg's barbecue news.is amazing spread is from morgan's brooklyn barbecue. morgan's brooklyn barbecue. if you are like a tourist, you should check it out on flat bush avenue. i get their stuff delivered to my house often. we got some pork ribs, we got some sweet and spicy wings. candy deed bacon. brisk. i love brisket, celebrated every day this year and tradition started by president johnson by hosting the first ever barbecue in presidential headquarters. >> jesse: texan. >> greg: i think i made all of that up. >> dana: i love it though. it can't be every day. >> greg: george washington went to a barbecue that lasted three days. >> dana: oh my gosh, is that when he did not chop down the cherry tree. >> greg: he did. >> dana: fake news. another texan, laura bush does something every year. summer best time to get lost in a book. this is a 2024 summer reading list for kids. we will put it up on the website go to bush center.org to check it out. madeleine bridge to terabithia. and guess how much i love you, am

studio audience, and greg gutfeld, olivia america!

>> greg: that would be amazing.all. >> that's a ringtone. >> greg: that would be incredible. i think we are living in an amazing movie. >> yeah, we just don't know who's directing it. it's gotten to the point like this is the moment where you tell your child 4 times do not take the ice cream out of the fridge and the door is open if already climbed the stairs they are looking at you they are looking at the ice cream and the judges like if you take that ice cream if you do it don't okay well if you open it comes open the ice cream don't you put your hand in their don't you do it, don't you do out you did it okay well now i have to put you into. it's all for 1 thing it's all for 1 thing just so biting can say convicted felon. that's what this is about. and you know it's about that when they are going the dampening testimony from the porn star because she is a porn star so chances are she could tell a pretty good sex story. and interchange any name we've seen the movies let's not play dumb except maybe dana but we've a

>> tim. >> greg: kat you... >> you aren't afraid of raising men this country. >> greg: how long wereilbert girl scout creek. >> i was in juniors i have worked today. it's not positive having your chest be the same size it was when you were 10 years old but it's great for your t-shirt collection. that's part of the reason we need to get a new apartment were running out of space for my t-shirts. i was a girl scout i loved it i also maybe would've wanted to join the boy scouts of a kid. >> you would a completely polluted. >> absolutely. to be a problem. >> yeah, but i was also prone for the girl scouts right. i couldn't agree more people are outraged about this there a bigger problem is in the boy scouts they think your shirt of the don't let the pedophiles beast scoutmasters that should be a teacher. >> greg: jim you dressed like a scoutmaster he looked like you are about to go in the woods and barry somebody who owes you money. >> asked to do community service somehow. >> 1 of those pop-up characters and guests who. >> greg: >> i do. girls a different and where we doing this. how abou

a waste of everybody's time. >> greg: top-secret top secretion.ust want people to know that. up next nancy pelosi cannot contain her elitist distain. when i first learned about my dupuytren's contracture, my physician referred me to a hand specialist. and i'm glad he did, because when i took the tabletop test, i couldn't lay my hand flat anymore. the first hand specialist i saw only offered surgery. so, i went to a second hand specialist who also offered nonsurgical options — which felt more right for me. so, what i'd say to other people with dupuytren's contracture is this: don't wait — find a hand specialist trained in nonsurgical options, today. i found mine at findahandspecialist.com. ( ♪ ) i thought water would help with these dry spots. that's lawn disease. but scotts healthy plus will cure it! lawn disease? been going around. so like other people have it and it's not... pick up a bag of the new scotts turf builder healthy plus lawn food today. feed your lawn. feed it. i'm not in perfect health but i want to stay in my home. i can do it with

greg?ntivize law breaking, you get more free stuff. the democrats can't say no. they're like terrible parents. because they're too scared to be called racist or claim that they lack compassion. basically the beast is choking on its own tongue. when the democrats accepted the premise that rules and law and order with oppressive, they opened the gates to squats, street crime, pro hamas protesters. the democratic version of compassion, richard should come with a warning label. this will kill you faster than fentanyl. >> richard: while we wait on washington to do something around the border, what is happening in denver, six months of apartment rent given out, job skills, food assistance, free legal aid, those applying for asylum already as part of the -- >> dana: that doesn't include the charitable work that many people that i know have done, which giving up their time and resources, money, taking them clothes. we don't need more clothes. we need better food. okay. think about for a second wher

gutfeld is standing by to put a smile on your face have a great weekend. >> ♪ ♪ >> greg: yeah,. >> gregat feels so good. it's friday she know what that means let's welcome tonight's guests. he is engaged which means soon you will get a second ring, actor writer and comedian jamie lissow. so blond you can light her up in smoke, cohost of the bottom line , dagen mcdowell. chances are your uncle pete pays for pictures of her feet. new york times besseling offer an fox news contributor kat attempts. and he puts 3 buffets out of business. new york times best selling author, comedian and former nwa world champion, tyrus! before we get to some new stories let's do this. >> ♪ ♪ great leftovers. >> greg: leftovers where i read the jokes we didn't use this weekend that's my first time reading them so they set suck we will force a joe to have sex with an ostrich. as it protected sex with somehow be better. today is national endangered species day the day we celebrate this poor unfortunate creatures who won't be around much longer. speaking of biden he's scheduled to give a speech at morehouse coll

i texted greg earlier today.p eighth avenue today because i go from one place to the next and i'm walking because it's hot outside now, and in a day, from the rain to the sun, it is a disaster outside. everybody has come out of the shelters and we are not talking to migrants who are there saying people please help me. they are there, too. i'm talking about doing drugs everywhere, flying on the street, flying across the sidewalk like they're people stepping over them, and then you have people on city bikes riding the wrong way on the street, causing a traffic jam. the quality of life is a disaster. i actually just watched all this lawlessness, i called it 101 ways to lose my life on my way to pilates today, which is a great way to help your life, as well, just a tip. and something like larry krasner in philadelphia, he was one of the d.a.s was funded by the george soros effort in order toy to make sure that these types of d.a.s ended up in these cities. and now what do we have? it's not just new york. i'm just say

i'm sorry, greg.g, putting weed on the same level as tylenol with codeine. it's not full legalization so don't light up yet. judge,... >> judge jeanine: yes? >> jesse: do you think this is political? >> judge jeanine: actually, joe biden wants to be political because he is trying to get young people to vote for him, okay? abortion isn't enough. climate change isn't enough. student loan giveaway isn't enough. i think 6.1 billion additional student loan giveaway. so now he is doing this. here is the bottom line. i think it is about businesses. i think it is about the tax break, although kevin, i'm sure you could talk more about this. it is about their access to traditional banking. they don't have access to financial services. and in the end, i think it's really a business move. but what i'm concerned about our young people smoking grass, all right, i'm a prosecutor, i get it, i was a judge, i was a narcotics judge. my concern is that when you don't have your prefrontal cortex completely developed, and

i thought we were the best. >> greg: good for you. >> thank you. >> greg: 2 lived j.crew. spend money? >> i was pretty sure the most disturbing video of the week was the video of the protests. i stand corrected." so you mentioned the .25 years ago way to strike while the iron's are hot denver. he really got after out there all of whom are my age now and if i didn't denver and i see this i'm turning on all my faucets. i'm turning on my spring first 24/7 and flushing my toilet with reckless abandon. they need to be taught a lesson. that's not right. >> greg: all right. strong. we didn't take any prisoners with the brooks brothers band. thought you guys were a capella. >> don't worry about it. >> you know you don't have a lawn. we can't really lecture these poor people or can we. let's do it. i don't have outside. maybe someday. i think this was not persuasive not really particularly because of the song but also i was noticing when i watch the video the grass and it looks like [ bleep ]. do it the way we say to do it. it is all brown and dying. look at that. you grass looks l

but i admired her dignity there. >> judge jeanine: going to you, greg.rink. >> greg: anybody going to do a sex drink on cnn, thank god it wasn't toobin pure her face is amazing through this. she has like every wife that when you come home drunk and you tell them they are not drunk and she is -- look at that face. amazing how she held it together. best thing i've ever seen on cnn. >> judge jeanine: all right, jesse, i'm on your show tonight. are you going to sandbag me like cnn did to cam'ron? >> greg: jinks! >> jesse: going to get some after this. >> judge jeanine: onto ric richard. cam'ron is a unique entre entrepreneur. he sold in 2014 ebola masks with his face on them, pitched his own line of toilet paper. your thoughts? >> richard: i think abby did a great job, bravo to her. listen, he asked the question, i rarely ever blame the producers but i just wonder what happened in the preinterview, in the lead up to this. i have many questions. >> judge jeanine: okay, "one more thing" is up next. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> dana: time now for "one more thing." judge jeanine. >

>> kennedy: gassy greg gutfeld. >> greg: oh! is that true?>> greg: i haven't had chipotle in five, six years. >> kennedy: last time we rode the elevator together. >> greg: are you going to stick with that? >> harold: who would i not >> kennedy: who would i not want to be an elevator with? the ghost of o.j. simpson. >> greg: there you go. jesse? >> jesse: maybe the hr director, someone like that. >> greg: that's actually pretty good. >> jesse: you don't know what to say. any joke as a possible termination. >> greg: yeah, that's true. they are our sbu. harold? >> harold: ohio state football fans saturday afternoon after thanksgiving because we whooped them. go blue. >> kennedy: the game. >> greg: very specific. judge? >> judge jeanine: parts know my part of me wants to be in an elevator with -- okay, i'm ambivalent -- hillary clinton. >> harold: i would like to be in the elevator with you guys. >> jesse: i would love to be in the elevator with hillary. >> harold: hillary is my friend. i like her. >> judge jeanine: she's your friend? >> jesse: e

>> kennedy: gassy greg gutfeld. >> greg: oh! is that true?le in five, six years. >> kennedy: last time we rode the elevator together. >> greg: are you going to stick with that? >> harold: who would i not >> kennedy: who would i not want to be an elevator with? the ghost of o.j. simpson. >> greg: there you go. jesse? >> jesse: maybe the hr director, someone like that. >> greg: that's actually pretty good. >> jesse: you don't know what to say. any joke as a possible termination. >> greg: yeah, that's true. they are our sbu. harold? >> harold: ohio state football fans saturday afternoon after thanksgiving because we whooped them. go blue. >> kennedy: the game. >> greg: very specific. judge? >> judge jeanine: parts know my part of me wants to be in an elevator with -- okay, i'm ambivalent -- hillary clinton. >> harold: i would like to be in the elevator with you guys. >> jesse: i would love to be in the elevator with hillary. >> harold: hillary is my friend. i like her. >> judge jeanine: she's your friend? >> jesse: everyone is your friend. >> ju

that's a banger. >> judge jeanine: that's a lot of guests. >> greg: let's do this greg's nosey neighbor what i'm up to, making a shallow graves for my bad meals. take a look at this fella. this woman is just minding her own business, doing some little outdoor exercise in knoxville and look who is watching her. >> jesse: perverts. >> greg: rubbernecking. look, leave her alone you spotted pervert. look at that guy. huh? looks like adam schiff. >> judge jeanine: dana. >> dana: check out echo the australia shepherd and everest is a would goen retriever. this isn't what the mom came home to. the dogs are not just on the furniture but the counter and refrigerator. >> judge jeanine: oh my gosh. >> dana: judge, your dogs wouldn't do that. >> judge jeanine: no, never. >> dana: that's all i got. >> judge jeanine: how did they get up there? >> harold: orlando police team up to give this young man battling kidney disease stone hicks. wanted to be an officer of the day. made him an officer, got his uniform and car and a he quote a chance to meet some paw patrol characters on his favorite show. way t

greg? >> greg: i'd rather have her drop in f-bomb than a real bomb. we'll be right back.d i swear i am okay with her swearing. but it is bad timing on her part. she says the doors don't open, you need to kick the effing door down, we have been seeing a lot of doors getting kicked down by young people all over campus, so may be pulled back on the freezing and the hyperbole. on the bright side, at least she didn't say come and if all else fails, read to hang glider. i think i can speak for everyone, she's still here. biden is so obviously terrible. we keep forgetting about his backup. and we shouldn't. it's not like our president is like a quarterback, like aaron rodgers in his prime, so you don't care if the backup is frank tripuca, worst rated quarterback in history. our quarterback socks and our backup sucks. how can you vote for that? use should be reminded is not just be nine, it is kamala. you can't say, at least we have kamala, unless it is gallows humor. >> dana: i think you describe the broncos. >> greg: really? i don't know anything. >> jesse: judge jeanine? >> ju

. >> ♪ ♪ >> greg: yes, yes. all right we will have a show than i guess.ednesday let's get started earlier this morning biden agreed to a pair of debates with former president trump he listed to man's like no live audience third-party candidates and visiting angels on standby but no live crowd i guess he wanted in audience of his peers not only did trump agree to the debates but wanting a third 1 on fox. meanwhile president biden had an odd moment in a gala listen to this. standup kid i like that address let them see you again let them see your gallon hearers who he was talking to. [ laughter ] and that wasn't the weirdest thing watch this they will not do what they finally got done and then what we finally got done and make up for it. they want to give power back to big pharma. joe be careful what you say about big you neil knead them for the predebate adrenaline shot. eric adams suggests migrants can help the lifeguard shortage being excellent swimmers they'd also be great surgeons because they are good with knives border wall construction in texas savin

. ♪ ♪ >> greg: hi, i am greg gutfeld along with judge during bureau, and she just got a reverse mortgageher barbie dream house. dana perino. this is "the five." waiting for donald trump to speak as his lawyer's battles to get that case dismissed. after that year he got sent home for the day in this hush money trial. it comes as they finally found a crime the whole thing. it's not the orange guy, it is the prosecution resting its case after their star witness imploded. michael cohen admitted he stole tens of thousands of dollars from trump. cricket cohen said he only did it as a form of self-help he got screwed over on a bonus. after letting stormie get away with tawdry testimony about a magazine, the judge reprimanded trump's first witness, robert costello for rolling his eyes grew dramatically carrying out the courtroom to lecture him about the koran. costello repeatedly said that cohen told him he had nothing and didn't know about the hush money payments. popping up earlier. >> i am here instead of campaigning. i was supposed to be making a speech for political purposes. i am not allow

and greg? >> greg: tonight i already plugged it and going to plug it again.yrus and the ghost of christy nome. tonight at 10:00. >> dana: and the judge? >> judge jeanine: hide your dogs. [laughter] >> dana: it's your turn. >> judge jeanine: i know it's my turn i can't find it. you go. >> dana: i will go. a -- i can't even think straight. but, as you know, a lot of people getting ready to graduate. if you are looking for the perfect gift, 2024. check out the little poem book shop.com personal offer personalize the book for your graduate everything will be okay now through may 17th. judge, are you ready? >> judge jeanine: yes, these french bakers were on a roll breaking the world record for the largest baguette and whopping 461 feet. the previous record was 30 feet shorter but butter safe than sorry. >> dana: get you next time. that's it for us. >> bret: good evening, welcome to washington. i'm bret baier. breaking tonight, developing stories on two fronts in

[laughter] all right, greg? did "undergrads gone wild," that was an amazing movie, hot tough boys hot. all right, if anybody tells you to be yourself, ignore them, they are trying to sabotage you. if you are supposed to be yourself, why do we have manners or customs or laws or dress codes or of the golden rule? telling people to be yourself is a trick to get you to pursue instant gratification untethered to actual self-improvement. and oddly being yourself house you looking like everyone else. look at the protesters. it's a parade of conformity. instead of being yourself, try being a better version of you. live your life as if your grandparents are watching you, or you are being surveilled by someone you admire. i often imagine as i'm walking around the lee majors is looking at me and then i end up acting like a better version of me. so maybe if you admire somebody like beyonce, right, imagine her looking at you. is she going to be impressed that you are sitting on the couch eating pringles, playing some video g

and greg you're next. >> greg: oh, what a show we have tonight.s. greg's duck crossing. you ever drive on some country road and all of a sudden the little ducks come across and you have to stop or you'll run over them like jesse does. check out this little duck crossing here. it was, duck belonged from the thrifty treasures antiques and more cost three grand and only to fly away, weighs a hundred pounds, a giant inflatable duck >> jesse: came in tyrus's bathtub. >> greg: nicely done. that's in frank mute michigan. >> dana: judge >> judge jeanine: fashion goes to the dogs literally. check out these adorable pooches rocking the red carpet at the pet gala at the american kennel club museum of the dog week this week. museum of the dog. each canine donned couture similar to what celebrities wore at the met gala. the furry fashionista outfits will be housed at the museum of the dog for the month of junement very cute. >> dana: fashion's really gone to the dogs. >> jesse: i loved this morning on news. >> dana: that's it for us everyone. have a great nigh

." ♪ ♪ >> greg: high i'm greg gutfeld with judge jeanine curiel, ricrichard fowler. dana perino.e five." >> make no mistake about it, i am here because of quickly joe biden, the worst president in the history of our country. he is destroying our country, this country is being destroyed rapidly, not slowly, rapidly. on the borders, energy, inflation, everything. afghanistan. everything about what he's done. he's destroying our country and he's destroying it with weaponization. this is purely his weaponization. >> greg: that was trump earlier today. the court is taking a 20 minute break and we'll see if he steps up to the mic again. prosecution still making closing arguments as the hush money trail gets ready for its climax. despite six weeks, 22 witnesses and tawdry testimony, america still no closer to knowing what donald trump did wrong. that trigger except pay a scummy lawyer. the ex-president's lawyer todd blanche arguing there was no intent to defraud a no conspiracy to influence a 2020 election as for the star witness, saying "michael cohen is the clout. he's the greatest li

>> greg: what did you make of that?ve to. [ bleeps ] about that after the first 2 bars it seemed like somebody they would do a presidential campaign. >> the problem is that everybody thinks they can wrap like oh this segment we should wrap and then we do it and it's terrible. >> it reminds me of a performance who put on for my parents to convince us to have a sleepover she goes to performances for sleepovers. >> yeah, but also i think they probably had tryouts for this rate because i want to say congrats to whoever didn't get in because now you don't need to have your faith here is no coming back from that he did make the squad what. >> oversee they know it's going to get out nothing ever doesn't get out in from australia. >> is why lip sinkers always when they stay in their zone they goeth what sounds good and moves her mouth they're pretty proud of this they put this together come on greg stepping negative every time a special needs group comes out and wants to do something everybody wants to make fun of them you know

>> greg: this is next level crime.ir aims make perfect liberale journalists always learned the most powerful lesson in americai that it pays to be a victim that turn yourself into an imaginary villain they'd make excellent college students and where did a they get the money to pay people to fake a crime? i thought they were in dire straits and what is being stolen? the thingsfo we gave them for free? it makesns no sense and what bun me the most another example of line cutting their actually stealing from real robbery victims and cutting in line in front of legitimate victims who deserve the services. >> dana: and anyone been here waiting their turn and do you, blame joe biden herald? >> harold: blame him forexec executive orders but blame thepr senate to not passing the compromise bill we have to doib everything we possibly can to take the executive orders fromtr biden if you want to say trumpyh is right, fair enough and say the senate should stand up and vote your conscious and right for the border democrats toe stand

>> greg: i'm going to say... time -- >> greg: under a tree. walking a dog. with a dog. [laughter] the officer frisked of me. all was well. all right, "one more thing" is up next. ♪ ♪ well done, viv. you got the presents, the balloons and the raptor cake. now, how about something to put a smile on your face? aspen dental provides complete, affordable care with dentists and labs in one place plus free exams and x-rays for new patients without insurance... and 20% off treatment plans for everyone. quality care at a price worth celebrating. it's one more way aspen dental is in your corner. hello, ghostbusters. it's doug. we help people customize and save hundreds on car insurance with liberty mutual. we got a bit of a situation. [ metal groans] sure, i can hold. ♪ liberty liberty liberty liberty ♪ in theaters now. well and most guys actually can afford it because it's six in one formula means you're getting six products packed into one. just wash your face and then massage in particle face cream for 30 seconds. befor

[ ♪♪ ] >> greg: hi, i'm greg gutfeld h withi, judge jeanine pirro, and just got a reverse mortgage on barbie dream house, dana perino, "the five." [ ♪♪ ] >> greg: waiting for donald trump to speak as his lawyers battle to get the case dismissed, and after the jurys got sent home for the day in his hush money trial, itot comes as they finally found a crime in the whole thing but it's not the orange guy, it's the so-called fixer, the prosecution resting its case after their star witness imploded. r michael cohen admitting he sto tens ohef thousands of dollars from trump. crooked cohen said he did it as ofa form of self help.ly well he did help d himself. he got screwed over on a bonus and after letting stormy gets away with todayry testimony, the judge reprimanded trump's first witness for rolling his eyes, dramatically clearing the courtroom to lecture him. he said cohen told him he did nothing on the don and trump didn't know about the payments. the ex-prez popping off earlier. >> supposed to be making a speech. for political purposeseech i'm t allowed to have anything to do with poli

greg? >> greg: listen to how we are talking about this.ou know what i mean? this is the difference. where not just going, we've got to put him in prison! we are just not like that. that laptop has enough stuff to put the whole family away. the big guy himself. hunter, his brother, they are like the corleone family with head injuries. in joe's favor, if he ever gets busted for a crime, we know he is unfit to stand trial so he is safe. >> shannon: all right. "fan mail friday" is up next. ♪ ♪ happy memories just come easier on the water. our founder, johnny morris and his dad knew this first hand, they created a boat that was more affordable... tracker, the world's #1 one best selling fishing and pontoon boats powered by mercury. proudly built in missouri and sold factory direct at bass pro shops and select dealers. for as little as 5 dollars a day... you can own a brand new tracker and make lifelong memories of your own. bass pro shops. voted america's best outdoor retailer. save even more and support conservation when you join the club. ♪ ♪

it's you just unreal. >> greg: it's crazy. what do you make of the fact this stuff easily flows out there. >> i don't understand how we are calling this correction right the crossed out pandemic with the word recession which makes it accurate but that doesn't mean that's what he meant. who knows what he meant what would it look like. are they just going to start doing this like the good that like when he said his uncle is eaten by cannibals they could have just added the word and not. or when he said he had cancer but the word know in front of cancer he meant to say i have no cancer. who knows that's what he meant. >> a correction does nothing to affect the actual meet to of this being. tyrus am i being to conspiracy oriented gimmick we are all making the same mistake watching this car accident going like this and the democrats are like no know he has a seatbelt he'll be fine. i mean the crash test dummies like i'm not getting in the car this [ bleep ] guy what we are missing is they are fine with it they are so fine if it the

shiny greg has a point.starting to see the realization that things aren't going well. you are seeing that doubts in the media and the frantic stairs in the media and the blame. they are on a lifeboat that has run out of food. they are starting to look at each other specifically. they are so close to land. that land is called maga country. their egos won't let them swim to shore. they would rather go down in the boat and never trump ocean and then find joy and pleasure in maga country. everything trump not true. they haven't actually tried to persuade voters with policy or anything. so far, it has been apocalyptic hysteria and unconstitutional lawfare. everything they have tried is the reason why you had 100,000 people. cnn called it a few insurrectionist spirit that is a reaction to what i americans are seeing right now which is un-american. when it scares me is when you see these trump polls and these rallies, and i'm worried about what we don't see. what are the democrats cooking up with the votes? legal o