we'll get to see him is on a video on the hot tub. >> andrea: look at said video and get our own greg gutfeldike bathroom shots typically. >> greg: taking shots in a bathroom? >> andrea: or pictures of people in a bathtub. this is jeff neely in the bathtub before the festives at the conference that we are now learning that mr. neely are telling friends of his, come to las vegas. get a room near ours. we'll pay for it anyway. he is a no-show today. up next the real story here, the other congressman was correct, he did take the fifth. fifth of whiskey. >> andrea: more than that. >> greg: the real question is there are two glasses there. who was with him and when? that's what i want to know. that is the real scandal. the person taking the picture? we don't know that. we don't want to jump to conclusions here. that is two glasses of wine we paid for. i want that wine. >> andrea: it's early to -- >> dana: it's early to be drinking. it's like high noon. >> greg: it's never too early to drink. >> dana: i guess not in vegas. >> bob: micah said neely didn't show up, because he shouldn't see him on a j

bob beckel, andrea tantaros, dana perino and greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> kimberly: the obama administration and the department of justice are on the defense after the president took a sot at the supreme court this week. just this afternoon, attorney general eric holder was forced to respond to a question from the fifth circuit court of appeals after the president said this. >> for year what is we heard is the biggest problem on the bench is judicial activism for lack of judicial restraint. an unelected group of people would somehow overturn a duly constituted and passed law. >> kimberly: the court demanded a letter from the department of justice to clarify whether the administration respects the authority of the judicial branch.

greg gutfeld has been waiting to ask you a question. it over to you. >> greg: america has been waiting for this question. when when are you doing "red eye"? let's pick a date. >> what did i tell you about "red eye," greg? you're the one who said it. if she comes on "red eye" her career is over. political potential is over. >> dana: this is dana. i used to think that, but i'm still okay. >> greg: not really. your career has gone down hill. >> well, so is mine. >> bob: i think you should go on "red eye." you and eric, i assume you are willing to congratulate the president on what he did today, since he took one of your leg? >> eric: i'll jump in. one of the legs but only one. there are other thingspa, that is hugely important. drilling is hugely important to natural gas. governor, at least we give him credit for at least maybe watching the special. >> can i ask you and governor a question, though? with the president regulation of the financial markets now he is saying he wants to regulate oil markets, right? we know, i don't have to tell

i'm greg gutfeld or

on another note, greg gutfeld doing a weird thing with dana perino. >> greg: i lost a bet so i have tois devastating. >> dana: i need a back pack. >> bob: you don't wear it nd

on another note, greg gutfeld doing a weird thing with dana perino. >> greg: i lost a bet so i have tois devastating. >> dana: i need a back pack. >> bob: you don't wear it around? >> bob: i just got it. >> dana: it's the spring version of what i have. >> kimberly: america's top model for under 5'3" and under. that's "the five." thank you for watching. see you here tomorrow. have a good night. ♪ ♪

greg gutfeld started a twitter war with me. i passed 100,000 followers. or following. greg has 70,000 or so and he said he would overtake me by july 6 by ruining my reputation. look what he started with. he said i am going to destroy@danaperino. follow me and i will tell you everything. >> greg: i did. >> dana: he think he is will destroy my following and overtake me. then he started a character assassination saying that daana fired her hair stylists for not providing warmed combs. this is my response -- >> greg: we saw what dana perino is. monster. unadulterated monster on the sickly ambitious trying to crush someone like me. the fact is we illustrate a point that twitter is for 19-year-old girls and bored media personalities. >> dana: bob, you thought it was funny. >> bob: it was hilarious. first, everybody has an understanding. those of you who follow "the five," lots of you. you know these two are the best of friends. like little people caucus. so they are doing this, this is tongue and cheek. but you must have been drinking hard. you were making accus

we kick it off with greg gutfeld. >> greg: thank, edith. sinese has the lieutenant dan band. and was supposed to perform this month in brooklyn where all the money goes to wounded warriors. he builds homes for wounded warriors but he got in a serious car accident. they had to cancel performances and he's recovering nicely. if you can go to this website, the gary sinese foundation.org get tickets for the upcoming shows which are in april 27 and april 28. in brooklyn. he is playing in upstate new york. catch him all over the country. if you go there, find links for the tickets or donate to the, for the military for veterans. first responders andtary families. a good cause. he is a great dude. >> bob: one of the nicest conservatives i know. good friend of my brother. good man. >> dana: amazing guy. eric? >> eric: one thing i don't do, i did in a past life, i keep my finger on it. i do stock trading and i have done tok trading in the past. i'm not allowed to trade. i'm allowed to invest now. a company i watch for the better part of seven years,

i'm eric bolling with andrea tantaros, bob beckel, dana perino, greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> eric: to crucify, treat with gross injustice,orment and evidently policy at the epa. >> everyone has their own, you know -- [ inaudible ] >> eric: what set off a fire storm from americans who suspected all along that the e.p.a. has had an agenda to crucify oil companies. white house mouthpiece jay carney is running for cover from their e.p.a. guy. listen. >> he said it clearly not representative of the president's belief in a way to approach the matters or the way he has approached the matters, either from this office in the white house or the epa. >> eric: hold on there, jay-vo. president obama has been crucifying oil companies for three years. >> do we tant to keep give -- do we want to keep giving taxpayer give-away to big oiler invest in clean energy? >> we have been subsidizing oil companies for 100 years now. >> oil companies are making record profits. that's good. but we don't need to subsidize them. >> his energy policy is

i'm greg gutfeld or as i am known on the jersey turnpike, the garden state groper. now to an disee levey for a pre game report. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> we won't let you kill the laughter, america. did you hear the one about hillary rosen and the stay at home mom? and there is another bizarre ad, this one with a chicken pecking. god police you. sincerely, "red eye." and a west texas city offers maids. the shocking story that will want you to make a mess in texas. >> bad news, andy. >> i discovered in my bathtub filled with clatato. >> good lord. >> it stuping to high heaven. >> was it his? >> they think somebody was in there with him and tried to cover it up with clamato. >> you can't dust for clamato. >> and the poor tenants below me had clamato dripping. >> time traveling victorians, can't trust them. >> never could, never will. >> see you later. >>> let's welcome our guests. she is so hot that ice cream is seeing for reckless endangerment. the co-host of "the five" never heard of the show, that airs weekdays on fox newschannel at 5:00 p.m. an

i'm greg gutfeld. or as i am known by mall school, the footlocker flapper. now to andy levy. what is coming up on tonight? >> turn me loose. should climate change be played alive and then forced to watch as dogs eat their intro. the shocking tease that doesn't accurately describe the story. and four college professors visit the university to talk about the occupy movement finally what did penn gillette think about the time he spent on "the apprentice." good thing he is here to tell us. >> how was your weekend? >> good. >> let's welcome -- he performs tricks like i perform them. it is penn gillette. and he has a new pod cast you can find it at penn sunday school.com. that was the longest intro ever. >> thank you. i appreciate it. >> he is so sharp he can cut hair with his thoughts. i am told he can get bloody. and it is proven that he gives cancer to laboratory rats. it is my repulsive sidekicks, bill schulz. 1k3 he is smarter than an 8 ball , and it sounds painful. sitting next to me, the former u.s. am ambassador to the u.n and contributor. and he skews the scats for the dem

i'm greg gutfeld. i'm greg gutfeld and welcome to "red eye."y, what is coming up on tonight's show, old sport? >> there is unrest in the forest. is arizona trying to make it illegal to leave nasty comments on the internet? and will the world see an economic collapse in 2030? hang on. okay there is a chance i will still be alive then, so this is serious. and what happens when we send bill schulz on the streets and ask about getting rid of the penny? hopeful leahy is beaten with rolls with them. >> thank you, ante. andy. how was your easter? >> i don't sell brit easter. -- celebrate easter. >> baron van slautenberg showed up and we watched "game of throwns" together. >> he was going to spend easter in his an rest rey'all home, but i guess at the last minute he couldn't get a flight. >> that's a shame. we spent the afternoon powdering each other. >> i guess you did. >> guess he can't use a three-shot because that wouldn't be too smart. you don't want to do that because our producer is probably still hung over from the night before. too late now. l

i'm greg gutfeld. see you later. bye.

i'm greg gutfeld, host of the new pbs show. it is where i restore aging house boys in mint condition. or if not i bury them in the yard. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> break it to me gently, america. our top story, how cool is president obama? seriously how freaking cool is he? how lucky are we to have such a cool president? pretty freaking lucky. it may not have been the first time something like this has happened. the shocking story that i tabes everybody expected. and finally what happens when we send bill schulz out to interview some tall women? hopeful leahy is squashed -- hopefully he is squashed like a bug. >> is that necessary? >> yes. >> just checking. i hate him too. can't stand the guy. >> totally necessary. >> let's welcome our guest. cuter than arranged marriage between a panda, koala and a dolphin. i am here with diane macedo. it is on the fox business network. he knows legal issues like i know happy tissues. he is a first time guest above the law editor. and h

so for example, you can't just say greg gutfeld is my number one enemy.on't like blue pens. or i don't like spray tans. or i don't like liberals. you could go on and on and on. so why would they the something like this? greg, facebook's whole purpose is to -- facebook is not doing this. but facebook's purpose is to be positive. that's why you can't dislike things. doesn't it further divide -- >> greg: the web was created to hate things and hate things only. people go on there anonymously to hate on things. it kind of exaggerates the worst part of humanity, which is, in a way bullying from afar. which is better than bullying in real life. maybe a great thing. i changed my mind. i like it. >> eric: i disagree with that, greg. it allows for more bullying and allows for more people to get on group. if a bunch of kids say hey, look, i don't like bob or eric, i don't like eric and then there are groups who don't like eric, that's what leads to some of the teen suicide. the groups who are starting to get together and feeding on one person's idea. >> bob: a kid c

." >> eric: hello, i'm eric bolling with andrea tantaros, bob beckel, dana perino, greg gutfeld. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> eric: this is a great day. i'm so happy. i can't even explain where do we folks get such inside the mentality of the left wing, their motives, their agenda and the real plan for america. first up, the national organization of for and by women has a pro-abortion agenda. is willing to do anything to silence conservatives who get in their way. case and point, now national smear campaign against rush limbaugh. we contacted now four times today, 11:20 a.m., 12:45 a.m., 2:25 p.m., and just about two hours ago. the press secretary told us, president terry o'neil, could, might, maybe get back to us. guess what? our folks never rang. because greg, i wanted to ask her, how she could call for a boycott, how they could call for boycott of rush limbaugh with the sandra fluke comments and ignore bill maher's comments calling palin the "c" word. and recently, hillary rosen's war on working for sorry, stay-at-home moms. >> greg: first, boycott? why can't it be a girlcott. >

here is greg gutfeld. >> that was odd. >> bill: gutfeld is -- arthel is some place else.ust me and gutfeld. it's a dog eat dog campaign. terrible line and cliche it's absolutely true. dog eating atrocities. start with president obama. what did he do? >> well, as a child, as it was shown in his book, dreams of my father. bloger actually went and read the book. proof that nobody actually read the book in there president obama actually talks about as a child eating a dog. as well as eating grasshopper grasshoppers. >> bill: in indonesia. >> bill: that's where he was his mother took them there casual eater. no like they ate dog every friday like fish sticks. >> something to do. >> bill: people who don't like the president caught on to that and did this. >> barack obama wants to stay our president. but he has the dark secret from his past he admits in his book dreams from my father to consuming delicious dog meat. the daily caller.com says our president ate a damn dog. a dog against obama poll found 99.9% of americans are against the consumption of canines. should we have a pr

here is greg gutfeld. >> that was odd. >> bill: gutfeld is -- arthel is some place else.nd gutfeld. it's a dog eat dog campaign. terrible line and cliche it's absolutely true. dog eating atrocities. start with president obama. what did he do? >> well, as a child, as it was shown in his book, dreams of my father. bloger actually went and read the book. proof that nobody actually read the book in there president obama actually talks about as a child eating a dog. as well as eating grasshopper grasshoppers. >> bill: in indonesia. >> bill: that's where he was his mother took them there casual eater. no like they ate dog every friday like fish sticks. >> something to do. >> bill: people who don't like the president caught on to that and did this. >> barack obama wants to stay our president. but he has the dark secret from his past he admits in his book dreams from my father to consuming delicious dog meat. the daily caller.com says our president ate a damn dog. a dog against obama poll found 99.9% of americans are against the consumption of canines. should we have a president

i'm filling in for greg gutfeld. that is trying to convince the irs thinks thailand trips were business zbleltd our top story tonight. the president of the national organization of women hits ann romney for not holding down a full-time job. does it count. >> a study shows chivalry is dead. and should they have jailed a man for wearing baggy pants? >> we'll see you at halftime. [ laughter ] >> i'm here tonight with lauren simonetti. it comes out next tuesday. kind of an awkward title. comedian joe derosa. the sign of depression and awkward title i think. and sitting next to me is managing editor. yet another awkward title. and leaders are leaving -- >> i don't know who that was direct at. >> and sunday times, new studies indicate to associate left-handedness with creativity and leadership is unfounded. that says brilliance in apparently left wing thing. confirm allegations of bias. rumataco. you are awful. >> i think they are more creative. >> i don't care. >> he dropped another bomb in the war on bombs. you may have

i'm greg gutfeld. i'm known as red level five. let's go to you first. >> our top story tonight. will fish fertilizer keep away the phish fans. second fish was spelled with a phish. probably better as a pun. >> and they are upset with a legos line of female figures. that is straight ahead. finally, what happens when we turn bill over with a noted naturalist. hopefully he eats many poisonous things. >> i had a pleasant surprise you won't believe who visited me. baron is back. you old buddy. >> i thought he had died. >> it turns out the skin color, this is normal skin color. he looks like that all the time. what he likes to do he has some kind of potion it seems like he is dead but he can sleep for three weeks. >> it's amazing. he a good friend to have. >> i'm glad to hear he is back. >> see you later. >> let's welcome our guests. her dentist must wear oven mits. he knows the music scene like i know afrosheen. and his latest book is good, bad and god awful. and not a tad but it's muddy protective outer shell. this side kick, and ice cream sandwich and commentary where an angry bear

i'm andy levy in for greg gutfeld who is hosting his hugh grant festival.

i am greg gutfeld. now to andy levy. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> the kid is hot tonight, america. coming up, john lovit? more like john hate it if it is obama's tax policy. plus, should you have a chance at winning millions when you cast your vote? the shocking story that isn't all that shocking. but it is something to talk about. and what does jay leno have to say about the difference between republicans and democrats? probably something not funny. >> when you make a bad joke it is perfectly okay to make a bad joke if you didn't explain it is a bad joke. >> if you call attention to the fact that you know it is bad. >> if i did that throughout the show, the show woulds four hours long. >> absolutely. but four incredible hours. >> thank you. >> go away. >> let's welcome our guest. she is hotter than a hot wing stuffed in a jalapeno. i am remi spencer, fresh from getting some murderer off. i would pay 50 bucks to put my stuff inside them. what are you doing? and his book, how do [bleep] in public is available now. it is wonderful. and chelsea, he

i'm greg gutfeld, or as i am known to the "sex and the city" fan club, president miranda division. meetings weekly at. >>> apartment and no ladies allowed. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what is coming up on tonight's show, old sport? >> attention all planets of the federation. we have control. should a transgender woman be allowed to enter the miss universe competition? the shocking story that will give you a lump in your throat. and jones, a useful idiot or hateful demi god could it be both? and does fast-food lead to depression? some say yes and some say no. through our tears and mcnuggets we say no. greg? >> thank you, andy. before i go, i have great news. >> yes, sir. >> you know who is in town? >> who. >> baron toutenburg. he is in town for drinks, andy. >> greg, look, here is the deal. it is a little something i do on the left coast. and he is not in town. >> he is in town. we are going to 21. he wanted to meet for drinks. >> you understand this is my alter ego. this is my left coast alter ego. >> i you can tayed to him and he didn't mention you. >> he doesn't

i'm andy levy filling in for greg gutfeld who has been de dane -- detained regarding the i'm prommer use of an easter bunny suit. tom, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> while are you hosting the show, i will be in your show fighting the power all by myself. tonight's top story, no one has tried to remove god from anything in about 11 i days. so a school in massachusetts picked up the slack giving us something to talk about besides "the hunger games." and should fans be allowed to argue loudly at ballgames? let's pass a law banning it, and then argue loudly about that. and president obama is inscrieting green-themed characters on easter. let's hope they are not taking private jets to get there. as my voice and articulation professor used to say, andy, have you some brandy handy? >> thanks, tom, even though your voice and articulation professor said no such thing. >> we will talk about this later. let's welcome our guest. i am here with lauren sivan in los angeles. it is her birthday by the time you are watching this. and welcoming a first time guest. he is comedian grews fine an

kimberly: hello, everyone, i'm kimberly guilfoyle with bob beckel, eric bolling, andrea tantaros and greg gutfeld. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ democracy you won't believe president obama's latest insult to the troops. we'll get to it. but rush limbaugh is saying the 2012 election could be a blow-out for romney. >> do you think romney has a chance to win? that was the question everybody at the table, does romney have a chance? i appreciate the question. a great question to get discussion going. i think obama will lose in a landslide. >> kimberly: prediction, do you think it will come true? is rush right? >> andrea: too soon to tell, but romney has a very, very good chance. if you look at the daily tracking polls he is doing very well. just look at the enthusiasm. remember, obama was elected, you can go downtown to new york city. people were setting their motorcycles on fire. people were going crazy. the question -- >> greg: other people's motorcycles. >> andrea: or setting their aunt's garage on fire if they were bob beckel, with their excitement. i'm not sure they are going to do it this time around.

. >> dana: a shorty greg gutfeld robe in every cabin. >> greg: there would be. >> andrea: would you leaveo work with sarah palin on a talk show? would you leave us? do you love her? >> eric: maybe we could squeeze her in right here. >> bob: there is an idea. you'd go to work for her, for free. >> eric: good friends. she will be first and then i'll be up later in the hour. >> dana: i'll be on, too. >> andrea: i'll be on tomorrow. coming up, tax dollars at work. obama administration spent almost $1 million at an event -- get this -- with a clown, a mind reader and a comedian. true story. more on it when w we come back. i'm a home in a high-risk flood area. it doesn't look risky. i mean, phil, does this look risky to you? nancy? fred? no. well it is. in a high-risk area, there's a 1-in-4 chance homes like us will flood. i'm glad i got flood insurance. fred, you should look into it. i'm a risk-taker. [ female announcer ] only flood insurance covers floods. visit floodsmart.gov/risk to learn your risk. having one of those days? tired. groggy. can't seem to get anything done. it makes for one,