bolling with andrea tantaros, bob beckel, dana perino, greg gutfeld. it's 5 verz in new yor 5:00 in . this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> eric: think the war on terror is over? not even close. exhibit "a," this taliban commander revealing the partnership with a bold and powerful new al-qaeda. their target? america. >> these are taliban attacks. this is part of our new military strategy. we have our people in the afghan police, and the army. >> what skills do the al-qaeda tighters bring? >> they are masters of everything. for example, making i.e.d. something we don't know how to do. but they are teaching us. they are also master engineers and good with all weapons. >> eric: today a car bomb killed three more americans bringing the casualty count to 2,002. listen to president obama in las vegas just yesterday. >> al-qaeda is on the path to defeat and usama bin laden is dead.

greg gutfeld is at hofstra university in hempstead, long island, town hall style. reg: kenya. can you believe it's just hours away? i want to point out, i don't know if you can see behind me. there are fellas holding an obama poster. which is the first evidence of obama creating two jobs. they're planning to hold it behind msnbc and they realize they want viewers. >> eric: is that a forward sign? >> greg: yeah. so maybe the amount of polling points he is dropped -- my eyes are watering. it's so windy out here. >> how about abramoff board? >> greg: cute. speaking of obama he worked out this morning. he did a series of dips to match the polling numbers. >> bob: greg, what are you sitting on? >> greg: on a chair. you should try it. >> bob: i can't. got anything underneath you there? how come you're so high? >> eric: we want to roll a quick sound bite. two years ago, president obama had a town hall. they stood up and said this. >> i'm a wife, american veteran and a middle class americans. and i'm exhausted. i'm exhausted of defending you. defending your administration a

i'm greg gutfeld. i am in for chip who is busy looking for the handcuff key. never hide it in a place you can't remove on your own. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> in a new video from the creator of the hbo series "girls" voting for president obama is equal to losing your virginity. outrageous? perhaps. not outrageous? perhaps. wait until you think it is for teens who feel misunderstood. you probably heard already. and finally we have part two of bill schulz's report of the third party presidential debate. can you guess which of the candidates put a javolin through bill's head and ate his brain matter? stay tuned to find out. >> we will have to wait to find out. >> as you know, the bus inside , it can get a little sweaty and stressful. going from florida, alabama, georgia, tennessee i think. so we decided to install a sauna in the bus. i believe we have tape of my crew enjoying it for the first time. >> he is actually the driver as well. >> he is looking good. >> he has lost a few pounds. >> the sauna will do that. >> that's for sure. all righty

the whole country waiting to hear what greg gutfeld and bernard mcguirk thought of the presidential debatehis week. we wanted to do something a little bit different. we asked the guys to select the strongest points that candidates made. gutfeld was assigned governor romney and mcguirk president obama. >> i should have watched the debate. rerun of dawson's creek so i missed the next thing. obama let mitt win so people could stop talking about that 2007 speech it was genius. joke. how could this be a surprise? you have a successful businessman who wipes the floor with a grad student. you have guy who knows jobs and a guy who knows jay-z. a guy who had a career. a guy who had a canine. there is no comparison and the most important thing is, this is what nobody is talking about. mitt had to win big. he couldn't just win. if he had just won, the press wouldn't would have given it to obama. he had to disseminate obama in order to just to get a victory. >> bill: how did he do it gutfeld. >> eye contact. eye contact. >> bill: just eye contact? it's the laser stare? >> yes. it seemed that mitt was

>> kimberly: you have been hanging out with greg gutfeld. >> greg: i want to go to the other stop.poke to cbs about the issues with security. >> eric: for continued security, that we had, we had known. we needed more, not less. >> experts are telling 100%s at the state -- 100% headquartes we need them. >> for what reasons i don't know. >> greg: that is harsh. >> kimberly: it's not. this is the problem with the administration. gross incompetence and naivet naivety. they are not interested in focusing in on the reality of the situation we face in the world today overseas. he said it felt like we were asked to play the piano with two fingers. concern among the embassy staff. personnel moved six months prior to terrorist attack. how can you not say this is epic fail on his watch, watch of the president and state department? it is. that is enough right there to tell you he is not ready for prime time. bin laden is dead and the rest of the world is burning. huge problem here. >> bob: whole place is burning. >> kimberly: watch the news. >> bob: there are state controlled media -- >> dana:

i'm greg gutfeld. i will stair at you while you fall asleep. >> the o'reilly factor is on.ht. >> actually, mitt is his middle name. i wish i could use my middle name. [ laughter ] >> as president obama surveys the waldorf banquet room, you wonder what he is thinking, so little time so much to redistribute. >> bill: the presidential candidates sitting close to each other at a charitable dinner last night and the barbs were flying. we will will tell you what happened and why it matters. >> if four americans get killed it's not optimal and we are going to

that's one of the monologues and my mom will call and say, what was that greg gutfeld thinking?wed it. >> this is a kermit thing, i've got a translation for that in the ear from the producer. >> and kermit the frog is a puppet. you put the hand up the puppet. >> really bad. >> and bash the media, shall we. andrea mitchell on some other network, i can't remember the name of it, ticked off at mr. sununu for saying president obama's-- >> do we have a clip. >> what people saw, i think, is a president that revealed his incompetence, how lazy and detached he is. >> governor, i want to give you a chance to maybe take it back. did you really mean to call barack obama, the president of the united states lazy? >> yes, i think you saw him admit it the night before when he delivered the pizzas. he said, you know, they're making me do this work. he didn't want to prepare for this debate. he's lazy and disengaged. >> so. >> so andrea mitchell was all outraged and governor, do you care to walk back that comment? hell no, she was disgusted with the fact that dnc communication director on the sa

i'm greg gutfeld in for different nighthawk who is you you -- who is away for facial cornel re. i told you not to do that. let's go to andy levy. what is coming up on tonight's show, old sport? >> eva long gore yaw apologizes, and it is not for dating a horrible quarterback. and what is the top costumes? it is not a sexy 3:00 a.m. talk show host. and they ar enacting dress codes thatten hib bit patrons from wearing pajamas. i would like to live in a place where this is a problem. >> thanks, andy. >> thanks for letting me borrow your bus last night. >> did you do anything fun? >> it was nice to get away. i hung out by myself. >> chilled some. >> yes. >> i guess i forgot to turn off the cameras before i lent it to you. >> really? >> yes, michael can we roll that tape? andy, i told you only 14 cats. >> like i said, chose chillin. -- just chillin. you can get personalized copies of the book. i will sign it or draw something of the probably not draw something because i am lying. >> let's welcome our guest. she is so sweet that four out of five den fists don't recommend her. i am here

greg gutfeld's book "the joy of hate." look at these two. he dalai lama. he is opposite of greg. but buy both books. >> greg: "joy of hate" is better than "hart of happines happiness." >> kimberly: nice. >> greg: all right, it was last night that dana perino used to be in a hand bem choir. don't know what it is. not sure i want to know. but taking the page out of donald touch's handbook, is dana releases picture of herself in the hand bell choirly donate $100 to the charity of your choice. >> dana: $100? >> greg: that is $1 million to donald trump. >> dana: i'm not that cheap. >> greg: so you are goingbe to deny $100 to a charity? >> dana: holding out for more. >> bob: you know what the bells are. >> greg: i want to see the pictures. the money can't go to jasper. >> dana: goodness. , you're next. >> bob: this is a wonderful story. the trust for elephants is doing research in kenya. and there is a -- one baby elephants was caught and drowning in this pool. they couldn't get the elephant out. they tried evening they could do. before the elephan

here now to analyze the president's press situation bernard mcguirk and greg gutfeld.irst of all, i want you guys next week to get hats like that guy. >> i have one. that's actually my hat. >> bill: sway that guy. >> he also took my name. i was originally sway and then i changed it to curve and captain puddles and now i'm greg gutfeld there is nobody at mtv. they think benghazi is a club dj. this is actually infuriating what's going on right now. >> bill: if it wasn't so absurd. >> we have -- there is this massive scandal going on. there are four people dead, and they are talking about music. it's disgusting to me. i want to throw up on bernie. >> i want to throw up on you. >> if the president would do some interviews legitimately, i don't mind sway talking to him. who is sway? i mean, is this guy -- >> -- he is he a voice of a generation. >> i'm digging the funky lid and i have a closet full of them. so next week you will see me here. >> bill: with that hat? >> but, look, this is desperation time for them because they -- they smell defeat in the air. but this is usual

here now to react the star of the five greg gutfeld and the producer of the imus in the morning program bernard mcguirk. the binder is insulting to women? gutfeld. >> i love how the media pretends not to know what he meant whereas when obama is vegas somehow understand what he is talking about terror when he really isn't. now they are taking everything literally i said i have a panel of women. he he created paneling out of women? my goodness he is putting them in a cabinet. he is he an atrocious monster. they are on purpose trying to pretend that they don't understand. >> bill: you know what, mcguirk? here is the tragedy of this. that woman we just saw the cnn correspondent. she is offended. >> she is supposed to be a reporter. her name is jessica yellen. it should be jessica whining. she is supposed to be a reporter, not giving her opinions. obviously a gross distortion and distraction. >> bill: she herself is a professional woman, all right? you have got to -- you know, she has got a good job. >> she was in a binder and she is genuinely offended. >> i don't believe that. >> bill: you

i'll leave it to greg gutfeld. >> that was a good effort. >> coming up, a man who requires no imitationarles krauthammer. he will be here live with his take on the evening, right after this break, don't go away. everyone has goals. take the steps to reach yours, with us with real advice, for real goals. the us bank wealth management advisor can help you. every step of the way. from big steps, to little steps. since 1863 we've helped guide our clients, so they can take the steps to help grow, preserve, and pass along their wealth. so their footsteps can help the next generation find their own path. all of us serving you. us bank >> welcome back to center college in danville, kentucky let's go to charles krauthammer in washington. charles? your thoughts. >> i think the debate happened at several levels. if you read the transcripts i think it's dead even. if you heard it on radio, biden won. if you watch on television, he lost. in the transcript if you look at the raw argument i think it was even, each side had points to make and made them. i think not one side was stronger than another. i

i'll leave it to greg gutfeld. >> that was a good effort. >> coming up, a man who requires no imitationarles krauthammer. he will be here live with his take on the evening, right after this break, don't go away. you see us, at the start of the day. on the company phone list that's a few names longer. you see us bank on busier highways. on once empty fields. everyday you see all the ways all of us at us bank are helping grow our economy. lending more so companies and communities can expand, grow stronger and get back to work. everyday you see all of us serving you, around the country, around the corner. us bank. at the guaranteed's lowest price.attresses plus, pay no interest for 3 years on the best brand-name mattress sets. get your best rest ever from sleep train. ♪ your ticket to a better night's sleep ♪ >> welcome back to center college in danville, kentucky let's go to charles krauthammer in washington. charles? your thoughts. >> i think the debate happened at several levels. if you read the transcripts i think it's dead even. if you heard it on radio, biden won. if you watch on tel

gutfeld. >> greg: thank you, doris.n -- the best pumpkin carving ever for halloween. >> dana: do not try this at home. >> kimberly: you know everyone is going to now. >> bob: you got to get that up there, buddy. >> dana: pretty good. >> dana: one more for good measure. >> greg: no, there were no kittens inside. you disgust me! >> kimberly: she is going to get "ped" a "p"" at you. >> dana: yesterday i said there is a thing to make you go ew. the cell phone and smart phone is great for sharing lots of things and pictures and also great for sharing germs. you would not believe what that article in the "wall street journal" said. you know the grease you see on the phone? he said where there is grease, there are bugs. it's hard to clean the phone and find something to clean the phone that would not harm the screen. so just keep that in mind, when we head to cold and flu season. your phone is disgusting. >> greg: you haven't said what is on the phone? >> dana: bonofeces. >> kimberly: okay. >> dana: 2700 and 4200 units of bact

i'm greg gutfeld in for different nighthawk who is you you -- who is away for facial cornel re.let's go to andy levy. what is coming up on tonight's show, old sport? >> eva long gore yaw apologizes, and it is not for dating a horrible quarterback. and what is the top costumes? it is not a sexy 3:00 a.m. talk show host. and they ar enacting dress

i'm kimberly guilfoyle with bob bob, eric bolling, dana perino and greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> kimberly: president obama hasn't had time for a press conference to explain what happened in libya, but he did find time to sit down with jon stewart to talk about the attack. >> i would say even you would admit it was not the optimal response to the american people as far as us being on the same page. >> here is what i'll say. >> if four americans get killed it's not optimal. we will fix it. >> kimberly: does it make you fall out of your chair? "not optimal"? the mother of sean smith killed in libya said, "it's insensitive to say my son is not optimal. he is very dead. i have not been optimal since he died and the past few weeks have been pure hell. it's disrespectable and it's not right. how can you say somebody being killed not very optimal. a lot of stupid things were said about my son and what happened. this is another one of them. to say this is an unfortunate statement is understatement of epic proportion. this is something

i'm greg gutfeld. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks, greg. our top story, mitt romney's garbage man doesn't like him. this is important. i'm not joking. this is my job. and on the eve of the first presidential debate, ben afflec finally breaks his silence to tell us what he thinks of the two candidates. a "red eye" exclusive that we got ourselves. and the uk bans a kid from attending a protest. >> thanks, andy. >> ubecha. i have nothing to say. i am glad. >>> she is so hot she is mistaken often for a tea kettle. i am here with jedediah bila. look at her smile. and if hilarity was a fishing boat he woulds teaming with crabs. please be offended is now available on netflix. i urge you to purchase it immediately. and in norway she considered a throw pillow. my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if thoughtful commentary was a whistle, blown men in stripes would blow him on a football field. itthe john gibson show. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> yes, it is, my friends. does he not show affection to those in trash collection? wel

i'm greg gutfeld or as i am known downtown, anderson cooper. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. andy, what's coming up on tonight's show? >> our top story, who won the foreign policy do pate between a calm, reasoned mitt romney and ?eering, condescending barack obama? a fair and balanced discussion coming up. and a new poll shows european prefer obama to romney, something that is not the tiniest shocking. greg? >> nice, andy. >> i don't know what that means. >> what, thanks, andy? >> yes. >> you know what, maybe you don't deserve the thanks. >> maybe i just never heard it before from you, greg. >> let's welcome our guest, you jerk. well, she is so british she sneezes earl graty. it is quite messy. i am here with author and political commentator imogeth lloyd webber. that's three names. her latest is called "the twitter diaries" and if hilarity was a seafood restaurant he would have crabs. you get a new job every week. it is michael money -- moynihan. >> i keep getting fired. >> sitting next to me is the brother of gavin mcguiness, mil

. >> greg: hello, i'm the bite-size battlers, greg gutfeld. courtroom cutie, kimberly guilfoyle. loveable lefty bob beckel. political dynamo andrea tantaros. and she still uses easy bake oven dana perino. from boca raton, florida, the super tan reagan fan, eric bolling. ♪ ♪ >> greg: media hacks say foreign policy doesn't matter. interesting how that works. you think if obama had a foreign policy, they would feel differently. foreign policy is the only thing that matters. even dana perino's barbie house has gun tur rants. when mitt ran the olympics did he declare war on jamaican bobsleders? if it's warmongering to protect the embassy personnel, mitt would say i'm for warmongering. it's awesome. to obama not blaming america is warmongering and blaming that stupid video. either it's a mess or a coverup. what can obama point to as foreign policy success? the things that it hasn't gotten worse? the president with no record to run on knows the negative can't prove it. what is obama afraid to say publicly many election he will say to putin after? obama has been hiding the foreign policy

i am filling in for greg gutfeld. now to andy levy for our pre game report. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> we will preview thursday's vice presidential debate with a fair and balanced look at paul ryan and the goofy aninaty of ryan. the shocking story that is really an unfounded rumor. and finally, what happens when we send bill schulz out on the street to get people's opinions about a giant ferris wheel? hopefully they gut him like a pig and waive his end trails in his face as he screams in unimaginable pain. >> thanks, andy. >> you becha. >>> let's welcome our guest. she and i met at a take back the night rally in the late 80s. we took it back, and then we couldn't figure out what to do with it. that was fun. i am here with tammy bruce, fox news contributor and host of the nationally syndicated talk show. he and i met on second avenue. i had to follow him and he had you are cred. -- and he had crushed. it is sherrod small. and this man first came to my attention when he made the cover of variety's how did they manage a career in media edition