grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.ebee's new lemon shrimp scampi linguine. every light and zesty mouthful takes you to your summer happy place. whoo! this scampi is amazing! [ male announcer ] taste of summer entrees starting at just $9.99. at applebee's. the clean air act stops polluters from... poisoning his air with arsenic, lead and mercury. now the loop hole that lets them pump unlimited carbon... pollution into his air is closing too. if polluters and their friends in washington don't interfere. refreshingly sweet and intense.d hard apple cider. and bursting with a crisp apple bite. so try a johnny appleseed hard apple cider tonight and let the stories flow. [ applause ] >> jon: my guest tonight is an activist with the revolution airy socialists in egypt. welcome back to the program, gigi ibrahim. [cheers and applause] >> thank you. thank you. >> jon: first of all, gigi, welcome back to the show. >> thank you. >> jon: the last time you were people took to the streets. they took down an autocrat. how has it been g

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.rs and applause] >> jon: welcome back. the presidential election a mere 888 days away. there is one question many people are asking? >> the people have asked me this same question. that is are you going to run again for president of the united states. [laughing] >> jon: it makes sense people would ask. you know, people, if you do run have a lot of plans to make like moving themselves and their families out of the country. so, what do you say to the people who are asking? >> my answer is honestly this. i do not know what the future holds, but i know who holds the future. that's god almighty. [laughing] >> jon: so you will run? but only if god says to. going for the gentlema gentleme. i hope god tells you too. i would like that very much. >> he's the president of -- >> jon: that's one of the reasons i would like that. >> 9-9-9. >> jon: ya 9-9-9. that's another solid reason. >> these words came from the pokemon movie. >> oh, shucky ducky. >> jon: i love it let me say this. it is imperativ

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.ie, you've got a little something on the back of your shoe, there. [alarm beeping] price tag. danger: price tag alert. oh, hey, guys. price tag alert. is this normal? well, progressive's a price tag free zone. we let you tell us what you want to pay, and we help you find options to fit your budget. where are they taking him? i don't know. this seems excessive! decontamination's in progress. i don't want to tell you guys your job, but... policies without the price tags. now, that's progressive. (cheers and applause) >> jon: hello! my guest tonight! got a new film out called "edge of tomorrow." ♪ >> stop! wait, wait, wait! stop scht! wait a second! wait a second! because i have been thinking -- it's in my blood, so maybe there's some way i can transfer it to you. >> i've tried everything. it doesn't work. >> have you, you know -- tried all -- all the options? >> oh, you mean sex? yeah, tried it. >> how many times? >> all right... >> jon: welcome back to the show, tom cruise! (cheers and

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. >> jon: that's our show. here it is, your moment of zen. ♪ ♪ we shall live in peace we shall captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org g sponsored by comedy central >> stephen: tonight, partisan politicpolitics are tearing this country apart. i blame the democrats. then, new regulations in soc media. you can no longer claim your facebook friends as dependents. and my guest, edie falco, plays a nurse on showtime's "nurse jackie." i will interview her in a backlesbackless robe. a new study says casual sex may be good for you. well, it was good for me. this is the "colbert report." ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: whooo! whooo"no. >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen. >> stephen: whooo! whooo! >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: welcome to the report. thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. in here, out there, all around the world. you know why we're here. we're not here to fr

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.ast fruit flavor,fe, watermelon, blue razz green apple. your taste buds dancing. it's the jolly rancher, we make it happen. untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher. >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it goes. >> berg dog sprouted a beard. the long lost soldier was retraoefz. why did the guy go missing in the first place? change of heart, was he worki ♪ ♪ (eagle caw) >> stephen: tonight, obama makes a huge overreach on climate change. get ready for government-mandated sun bonnets. (laughter) then a new threat to our senior citizens. time continues to move forward. (laughter) my guest tonight is morgan freeman, host of "through the wormhole" on the science channel. i'm still on season one, so no spoilers on how the universe ends. (laughter) this week marks the 25th anniversary of tiananmen square -- or as they call it in china, tank man happy day.

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. ooh, a blt with avocado...epper sauce. it's delicious. and it's a great deal. woman: sounds amazing, but shouldn't that be called a blta? waitress: sweetheart, one bite, and you're not going to care what it's called. [ bell rings ] welcome to denny's. [ female announcer ] aveeno® daily moisturizing lotion has active naturals® oat with five vital nutrients. [ aniston ] because beautiful skin goes with everything. aveeno®. naturally beautiful results™. mumumusic♪ aveeno®. remember dad helping you catch your first fish? then tell him he's special with great father's day gifts from bass pro shops. like 25% off men's and ladies' finley river sandals. bass pro shops. what art thou drinking isaac? giveth me a redd's apple ale! gravity! what's that? i have no idea. redd's apple ale. crisp like an apple. brewed like an ale. >> jon: that's hour show. here is your moment of zen. >> president obama said this the day of science taking a back seat to ideology are over. well state department once again confirmed there is no r

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.eers and applause) (cheers and applause) as we mentioned earlier, the n.r.a. had a problem with bringing a gun to bring your gun to workday, because it might be perceived as a breach of bad manners. we want to help. here are michael che and jordan klepper with second amendment dos and don'ts. >> hi there, when you bring your gun to a restaurant, do calmly inform the other patrons you are will to eat and not to shoot anyone. >> and when you bring your gun to a restaurant, don't be black! because even if you tell them you're not going to shoot, they're probably not going to believe you (laughter) >> when trying to get your waitress' attention, remember, don't shoot at the ceiling, just point at the ceiling, gently wave it in a circular motion and, remember, turn on your laser site because that's how she'll see you. >> don't carry a gun if you're black, okay? or anything that looks like a gun. don't even carry gum! it sounds too much like gun! >> be a gentleman, hold the door open for a l

grey goose, francois?xtraordinary belongs to those who make it. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] great rates for great rides. geico motorcycle, see how much you could save. there was a boy who traveled to a faraway place [ male announcer ] great rates for great rides. where villages floated on water and castles were houses dragons lurked giants stood tall and the good queen showed the boy it could all be real avo: whatever you can imagine, all in one place expedia, find yours >> welcome back, everybody! my guest tonight is an award winning actor! (cheers and applause) please welcome morgan freeman! (cheers and applause) mr. freeman, thank you so much for joining me again! good seeing you! nice to have you! >> thank you! >> stephen: listen to the people love their morgan freeman. >> yes, i also like the way they love their stephen colbert! >> stephen: i agree, i agree! tephen, i have to get this off my chest before it's too late. i find your idiocy brilliant, and i'm very happy you let me come back on your show bef

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. when cold refreshment calls.ight answers. "anybody else" frost brewed coors light. the world's most refreshing beer. [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my gust tonight, she got a new movie out. it's called "begin again." >> i just think an a and r man telling an artist how the dress or come across is total bull [bleeped]. people don't want that. they want authenticity. >> okay, babe. give me the name of one artist that you think passes your authenticity test. >> dylan. >> dylan. that's the most cultivated artist you could have thought of. his hair, his sunglasses. he changes his look every decade. >> randy newman. >> love randy newman. you got me on that. >> jon: please welcome back to the program keira knightly. hello. how are you? nice to see you again. how are you? [cheering and applause] thanks for coming. >> thanks for having me. >> jon: how are you holding up with the world cup results? >> that was a cruel start, wasn't it? you just went straight for the jugular. how are you holding up? >> no, no

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.stripped of chocolate, with nothing but salty roasted peanuts on soft sweet caramel. a payday bar will get you through your day. expose yourself to payday. ♪ "slam" by onyx paul george: "ahhhhhh!" gatorade fierce. more bold intense flavor. ♪ show 'em the curve. it's beautiful. it's more than that... ...it's perfect. introducing curved ultra high definition television >> jon: childish words, popping up on buildings and signs all over. police say there's nothing funny about this. >> you can see behind me the discolored bricks, that graffiti has already been cle has already been cle (cheers and applause) ♪ i'm going down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some fri

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.ses. so you can use your cash back... to follow your dream. so you... can save the day. chase freedom. so you can. honestly, the off-season isn't i've got a lot to do. that's why i got my surface. it's great for watching game film and drawing up plays. it's got onenote, so i can stay on top of my to-do list, which has been absolutely absurd since the big game. with skype, it's just really easy to stay in touch with the kids i work with. alright, russell you are good to go! alright, fellas. alright, russ. back to work! >> our show. >> when i was first listening to him i was like oh, he's angry with women for rejecting him. then i started to have a different idea. is this someone who is trying to fight against his comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org going down? yeah. you live in the building? (elevator ding) yeah. they keep making 'em bigger every year. buildings. (elevator ding) you grew up around here? i was born here. oh, you were born here, in the e

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.ning cooling crystals. ice breakers. i live in a luxury penthouse overlooking central park. when the guests arrive, they're greeted by my butler, larry. my helipad is being re-surfaced so tonight we travel by more humble means. at my country club, we play parlor games with members of the royal family. yes i am rich. that's why i drink the champagne of beers. yo,move fast fruit flavor,fe, watermelon, blue razz green apple. your taste buds dancing. it's the jolly rancher, we make it happen. untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher. [cheering and applause] >> jon: come on. how do you open with, hey, how's england doing after their world cup lost. what is bleep is wrong with me? and she's in a movie called "begin again." it would have been the perfect segue to say, "let me begin again because sometimes i suck at this. " well, i've only been doing it for 16 years. i'll learn. that's our show. here it is, your moment of zen. >> i know it is politically expedient these days to say that america sho

grey goose, francois?raordinary belongs to those who make it. ♪ gonna grab some afternoon delight ♪ [ male announcer ] you know what time it is. it's happier hour at taco bell. enjoy one dollar loaded grillers or any one dollar medium drink from 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm every day. [ bong ] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, come on this guy is the best. his netflix series "derek" has returned for a second season. take a look. >> i ain't got a phone. >> i did it this morning, actually. you are@ mr.derek -- >> okay. >> whatever you want to say put it out. there. >> derek says. >> that could be your hashtag. >> what is that? >> it looks like that. if you put that before dereksays everyone can follow it. >> #dereksays. >> what do you want to say? >> be nice to animals. >> say it. >> yes. >> send. >> jon: i can respect that. please welcome back to the program, ricky gervais. [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to the show. let me say something. let me welcome you properly. welcome, we hav

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. they challenge us.full of heroes and titans. for respawn, building the best interactive entertainment begins with the cloud. this is "titanfall." the first multiplayer game for xbox one built and run on microsoft azure. letting gamers around the world interact in ways they never thought possible. this cloud turns data into excitement. this is the microsoft cloud. >> welcome back, everybody! my guest tonight is an award winning actor! (cheers and applause) please welcome morgan freeman! (cheers and applause) mr. freeman, thank you so much for joining me again! good seeing you! nice to have you! >> thank you! >> stephen: listen to the people love their morgan freeman. >> yes, i also like the way they love their stephen colbert! >> stephen: i agree, i agree! tephen, i have to get this off my chest before it's too late. i find your idiocy brilliant, and i'm very happy you let me come back on your show before you're fired. (laughter) (applause) >> stephen: let me know when that is, please. okay? because when

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. good afternoon.apphire. this is stacy from springfield. direct access to a live advisor so you can get answers fast, and get back to the beach. chase sapphire preferred. so you can. there was a boy who traveled to a faraway place where villages floated on water and castles were houses dragons lurked giants stood tall and the good queen showed the boy it could all be real avo: whatever you can imagine, all in one place expedia, find yours coors light answers. when cold refreshment calls... frost brewed coors light. the world's most refreshing beer.

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it., on life time, i've been, busy. so i look forward to my downtime. xbox, go to titanfall. this is insane. check this out xbox, snap tv. it does two things at once so i can play games while i watch my favorite shows at the same time. whoa. xbox, record that. i just wish i had more time to play yo. xbox one now starting at $399. you walked into the hotel as a "5" but when she saw the room... you turned into a weird "7". when she saw the roof-top pool... you went to: "11" ♪ you two should probably get a room... oh that's right! you already did. at planet earth's number one accomodation site... booking.com booking.yeah! ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: my guest tonight a rock 'n' roll hall of famer. please welcome chrissie hynde. thanks so much for coming on. nice to have you on. >> thank you. >> stephen: i'm a big fan. was i right about that? do you like dogs? >> they're okay. >> stephen: the people who may be the i didn't thinkest of the youngsters out there, and don't know you're th

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.efreshingly sweet and intense.d hard apple cider. and bursting with a crisp apple bite. so try a johnny appleseed hard apple cider tonight and let the stories flow. [ speaking russian ] ♪ ♪ i have no idea what you're saying, but count me in! ♪ >> stephen: my guest tonight is my arch nemesis. please welcome congresswoman eleanor holmes norton. [cheering and applause] congresswoman, thank you so much for coming. good to see you again. you and i have been enemies long enough they think we're almost friends at this point. >> not quite. >> stephen: all right. all right. you represent the district of columbia where you are a non-voting member. i want to thank you in joining your republican colleagues in non-voting for any legislation. [applause] >> the difference is they can vote and still vote for legislation. >> stephen: but it's admirable restraint on their behalf. you're here to talk about the 50th anniversary of what's called freedom summer in mississippi. tell the young people what fre

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. ♪ stuck in a contract ? t-mobile we'll pay your early termination fees so you can get the galaxy s 5 for $0 down right now! ♪ the world's most refreshing beer meets a blend of natural citrus flavors so you can squeeze the most out of summer. ♪ new coors light summer brew [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, the host of hbo's "real time with bill maher." please welcome back to the program bill maher. [cheering and applause] >> thank you. >> jon: sir, how are you? >> i'm good. i was hoping you'd do a little more cheney coughing for me, though. i love that impression. you nailed that, by the way. >> jon: he has phlegm. nobody does cheney phlegm like cheney. >> do a little more. [jon clearing his throat] i love it. i love it. oh, i tell you. >> jon: he's trying to get the intelligence out of... >> that's pretty good. fred travelina does a good one a few years ago. >> jon: he's doing an impression of cheney coughing. i'm doing cheney coughing. >> that's right. that's so true. >> jon: di

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.fter the rxbox, on life time, i've been, busy. so i look forward to my downtime. xbox, go to titanfall. this is insane. check this out xbox, snap tv. it does two things at once so i can play games while i watch my favorite shows at the same time. whoa. xbox, record that. i just wish i had more time to play yo. xbox one now starting at $399. refreshingly sweet and intense.d hard apple cider. and bursting with a crisp apple bite. so try a johnny appleseed hard apple cider tonight and let the stories flow. [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my gust tonight is an actress. she's written a book about her experience with celiac disease called "jennifer's way." pleas welcome to the program jennifer esposito. hello. how are you? nice to see you. >> so nice to be here. >> jon: nice to have you here. >> hello. hello. >> jon: so thanks for being here. >> thanks for having me. >> jon: the book is called "jennifer's way," by way of revelation, my son has this and has a very bad case of th

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. >> jon: hey, everybody. listen up, so i'm -- i've probably done 2,400, 2,500 of these "daily shows." we have a writer who has probably done 2,800, 2,900, and he has decided for whatever reason, after only 2,900, that i'm good, that's enough. boy, we're going to miss him. a great writer. he has like, like the show, evolved, grown from, you know, a comic-turned writer to an accomplished writer with just a lovely wife and family and just great guy. so j.r. haviland, we're going to miss you. here's your moment of zen. >> hey, craig, how come you're such a cutup, such a card? >> well, it takes the combined efforts of a number of highly trained people. let's meet "the daily show" writers. >> small forward, from the juvenile detention center in california, j.r. halveland, my baby. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause]

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.ak the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. >> stephen: that's it for "the report," everybody. we'll see you in two weeks. good night. ponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> it's 11:59,

grey goose, francois?inary belongs to those who make it. >> stephen: that's it for "the report," everybody. dwight. thank you very much.

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grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.he ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. am rich. my social circle includes captains of industry, former secretaries of state, oil tycoons, and ambassadors of countries known for their fine cheeses. yes i am rich. that's why i drink the champagne of beers. >> jon: welcome back. my gust tonight has a new movie out called "tammy." >> do it, do it! okay. the corner. >> whoa. >> oh. sorry about that. oh, god. mark twan national forest? where are we? >> we're in missouri. we went in the wrong direction and you do know who mark twain is, right? >> i know who he is. good guy. he's a good guy. >> jon: please welcome back to the program melissa mccarthy. come on! [cheering and applause] melissa mccarthy is here. melissa mccarthy is here. melissa mccarthy. how are you? >> there's always this fear of tipping right over. >> jon: can i tell you something? we nearly killed jimmy carter. >> oh, really? >>. >> jon: a few years back. we don't even have it. this little part right h

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. in the framily!ore we save. he already owes me money for like 4 pizzas. >>we all get separate bills. besides, if you don't like gordon why did you invite him this weekend? i didn't invite him. he just, like, shows up! >>it's pronounced gor-don. hey let's go, honey ! those tacos ain't going to eat themselves over there. >>tacos! you look great, by the way. start a sprint framily and everyone gets separate bills. the bills are separate? for a limited time, get a switching bonus worth up to $650. happy connecting from sprint. >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight is in the new movie twenty-two jump street. >> going to actual college, not on-line college. looking for code messages and lectures. >> what are you talking about. >> look around. this is our city. what do we want to be in college. >> you're right,. >> the tide comes in at 10:30 a.m. then it will return to the sea. >> this report. >> let's do this. turned down for what ♪ ♪ turned down for what ♪ turned down for what ♪. >> stephe

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grey goose. charles: over there, it is an epidemic. you mentioned all of the great reasons.ry. people will always continue loving it. charles: is it abused or anything like that? >> i think it is a broader subject. we know what we are talking about here. craft distillers and some of the higher end companies, they want you now to try to drink vodka. it does have flavor. do not mix it with anything. >> companies are now getting involved. charles: the nba draft. instant billionaires. after the break, we have the guys that manage money. >> the first pick in the 2014th nba draft, the cleveland cavaliers suggest andrew wiggins. [cheering and applause] ♪ my dad has aor afib.brillation, he has the most common kind... ...it's not caused by a heart valve problem. dad, it says your afib puts you at 5 times greater risk of a stroke. that's why i take my warfarin every day. but it looks like maybe we should ask your doctor about pradaxa. in a clinical trial, pradaxa® (dabigatran etexilate mesylate)... ...was proven superior to warfarin at reducing the risk of stroke. and unlike warfarin,

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. rocket science? not simple.? not really. online shopping? should be simple. but it's not. filling out your shipping address, billing address, card number, expiration date... typing and retyping each time you pay... not simple. when you pay securely with paypal, you're done in a few clicks. that's fast - even if you're a really slow clicker. it's not calculus - but it's pretty smart. >> jimmy: hello and welcome back. >> jimmy: tonight on the show -- a very funny woman in "funny child." we have music from one republic. and we'll be right back with and game two of the nba finals on abc. join us before or after the game. depending on where you live. my guest, snoop dog, psy and i will play basketball one-on-one. our first guest tonight, a multitalented man who excels in hip-hop, acting, publishing and not dying from bullets. he has a new cd, called animal ambition and executive producer of a tv show called "power" premiere's saturday night on starz, please welcome, curtis "50 cent" jackson. [ cheers and applause ] [

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grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. bread.e're always trying to make it even better. that's why we added some ingredients and took others out, making this our best bread yet. bread is on the rise at subway. ♪ check...this...out. oh my goodness. do you know what that adds up to? a clean bum. this is going very well so far. [ cherry ] feel a clean so fresh it can only be cottonelle. ♪ >> jimmy: we're back. still to come, alyssa milano and boyz ii men. but first let's go back outside. i left cousin sal standing out on the street. sorry, cousin sal. >> that's all right. >> jimmy: all right. we're playing "foreigner or not" right now. and the object of the game is for me to guess whether the person standing beside sal is a foreigner or not. not being an american. hmm. interesting. >> you can get this one. concentrate. >> jimmy: you think i can get this one? okay. if we could, i'd like to look at the shoes, which are usually a tipoff for me. no, they're not. i don't know. the shoe thing is not so reliable anymore. the purse looks ki

grey goose, francois?e who make it. ♪ yeah ♪ don't stop now, come on mony ♪ come on, yeah ♪ i say yeah ♪ yeah ♪ yeah ♪ yeah ♪ yeah ♪ yeah ♪ yeah ♪ 'cause you make me feel ♪ like a pony ♪ so good ♪ like a pony ♪ so good ♪ like a pony [ male announcer ] the sentra with bose audio and nissanconnect technology. spread your joy. nissan. innovation that excites. ♪ mony mony kellogg's® cereal and milk. (cereal and milk)♪ it has protein to help you rebuild, and grains to help you recharge. shouldn't breakfast always be k-e-double l-o-double good? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come, music from the birds of satan. our next guest started his hugely successful fashion business while he was still waiting tables at red lobster. now, he sits in judgment of other hopeful entrepreneurs. you can watch the season finale of "shark tank" friday night at 8:00 here on abc. please say hello to daymond john. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: boy, this "shark tank" which i really enjoy, when they pitched this idea i

grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. brate si rocket science?surgery? not really. online shopping? should be simple. but it's not. filling out your shipping address, billing address, card number, expiration date... typing and retyping each time you pay... not simple. when you pay securely with paypal, you're done in a few clicks. that's fast - even if you're a really slow clicker. it's not calculus - but it's pretty smart. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the program, you know him from "the daily show," and starting tomorrow you can see him paired up with jon hamm in the movie "million dollar arm." aasif mandvi is here with us tonight, and then you will see her at the billboard music awards on sunday right here on abc. this is her album. it's called "the new classic." iggy azalea from the at&t outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] >> we have a new show for you tomorrow night. again, the show tomorrow night will be a new one. our guests will be nathan lane and adam carolla and music from royal blood. so join us tomorrow. our first gu