(grunts) now! (grunts) (muffled grunting) s-sevchenko must not escape.rial for more bombs! colonel, we need ten minutes to get out of the blast zone. if we don't leave now, we'll never make it. (gasps) ladies first. alexei. macgyver: the biggest problem with time is that you never make more of it, which is fine when everything's going your way. but let's be honest, when does that ever happen? uh, mac... we got a problem here. this keyboard's toast. i cannot stop the bomb if i can't talk to the computer. i cannshe needs our help! ♪ (tea kettle whistling) (sighing) hey mom, can i help? yeah, i'd love your help. (grunting) awww... (announcer vo) the real magic of the holidays is when we all give a little more. i want my blood sugar i to stay in control.ck. so i asked about tresiba®. ♪ tresiba® ready ♪ tresiba® is a once-daily, long-acting insulin that lasts even longer than 24 hours. i want to trim my a1c. ♪ tresiba® ready ♪ tresiba® provides powerful a1c reduction. releases slow and steady. works like your body's insulin. when my schedule changes... i want

(grunts) easy. (both groan) come on. go. (grunting) oh! no! (grunts) i think we got a little highehethat time. no. good. let's try it again. one, two, three. ready? yes. go. i think these are starting to come loose. how about yours? slightly. each other... we might be able to untie these knots. you'd think that vulcan database ting a civil war. the database is accurate. the coridan government doesn't view this as a civil war. i imagine your people are going to want their database back, too. well, they can h he it. can you reach the knot? i believe so. without the database you wouldn't have found this planet... or p'jem. you're not responsible for what happened. you didn't have any idea that your people had installed a listening post. or that there were andorian commandos there. ry. i had the opportunity to protest but i chose not to. it's clear that living among humans has caused my reasoning to become compromised. i think i understand. you're running away because you're afraid to become one of us. i am not running away. then why aren't you fi

( grunts ) honor has been satisfied. stayayown! finish this. ( grunts ) t sure what do you see? . it's very dark. ( gasps ) my people have a saying: never turn your back on a breen. doctor, would you keep the noise down? i'm trying to wowo in here. how many translator circuits have you got left? garak: three. work fast. we're going to be up to our necks in jem'hadar. enough, klingon. you have p pven your worth. worf... you heard him. enough. i will not yield! what are you waiting for? end this. it's over. it is not over. you heard him. i yield. you what? i yield! i cannot defeat this klingon. all i can do is kill him and that no longer holds my interest. it! take him to one of the cabins in the back. i'll be with yououa. garak. you did well. so did you. bashir: take us to maximum warp we've got to get a message to the station. on screen. where are they? according to their warp signatures they should be right there. some kind of cloaking device? i didn't know the dominion had them. or the cardassians, for that matter. bearing 1818mark 97. 244 mark 12. 302 mark 133. kira: defiant to

[grunts] hey. just what's going on here? well, i'll tell you, officer. about three quarters of an hour ago ms. lavimore and myself rowed out to the texas tower. ?? >> here's adventure! ?? here's romance! here's o. henry's famous robin hood of the old west...

help us chase it down by ♪ (couch and tv grunting happily) (giggles, gasps) (both laughing playfully)both panting, sighing) (grunting) (groaning) hopefully, this will put the final nail in the coffin of lakes and rivers. well, as a mother, i... as a mother, i like that wherever i look, i can see a lifeguard. i'm finding nemo! i saw heaven!

(tires screeching) (grunts) (homer humming) (chuckles) what? what?! hey! up your... oh, sorry., sir. who are these guys? (phone dings) meh?

(grunts) by the time you finish talking, we're gonna be opening this damn capsule. right. something.

public opinion seems to be running against you. ( grunts ) you know... i think that actually helped my back. buy you a drink. a pleasure... as always, my dear. you do have a lovely daughter. she must take after her mother. you're wrong about garak, father. he's a good man. you have no idea how much it pains me to hear you say that. it's good to see you, too, father. what are you doing on the station? oh, i had a little skirmish with a klingon battle cruiser. my ship was damaged, so i came here for repairs and to spend some time with you. ( chuckles ) and i can see... we have a lot to talk about. remember, this is a reconnaissance mission. you are to avoid dominion ships at all costs. what about garak? i want him back, too. i suppose i don't have to tell you to keep a close eye on him. at the first sign of betrayal, i will kill him but i promise to return the body intact. i assume that's a joke. you want me to sponsor your application to starfleet academy? what do you think? i think it is a bad idea. i'd write the actual letter myself. i just need you to

( grunts ): yes. we are far from home. we are lost. our... home... is here. ( grunting ) our... home... is here... ( grunting ) ...in chaotic space? ur head! i understand! we are too... alien... for you. we are too... strange... for you. maybe we're the ones who are too alien... too strange. if... you... stay... in chaotic space... chaotic space... chaotic space... you'lllle destroyed! we know that... but we can't navigate. our sensors don't work... in your spspe. 20 more seconds! don't go down! your.... sensors must be... realigned... your mind... must be... realigned... realigned... realigned. your mind... must be... computer: end round one. get them out! let go, commananr! i can't take anymore punches! they aren't hitting you. duck... faint... clinch! stop fighting! i can't! they'll destroy me! that's a risk you'll have to take. you take the risk! they want you. why? because you have the gene. the crazy gene. yes, the crazy gene. thing keeping you from understanding them is your own fear-- your fear of the unknown the unknown... and i don't want to know. but we have to know a

(grunts) (sad music plays)

closed captioning provided by cbs sports division ♪ (grunting) oh. what's that? (grunting)

(both chuckling) - (grunts) it's simple. there's a man in town. - i don't understand it. he had o'hare cold, right in front of him. he could've settled the whole mess right then and there, without gunplay.y. why didn't he? - did you expect him to beat up an old man? what's happening to you? paladin. i want to talk to you. (guns cocking) - all right, come on in! ought it might be worth a taste. - give him a cup of coffee. if you've come here to start a ruckus, mister, i just want to say that handling these thingsgs. but at this distance, i couldn't miss. - at this distance, you're too close. what do you want? - well, a little civivity might be a good start. i'm your guest. - why didn't you take a slug at me this morning? - i was outclassed. - oh, that's a lot of hogwash. you could've mopped the streets with me. now, why didn'n'you? - well, i've always liked men who build. one of my great idols was the emperor hadrian. - hadrian? (laughs) what do you know about hadrian? - well, he was an emperor and a great builder. is that what you think you are, mr. o'h'he? you seem to be

. - [grunts] - agility... - yeah!nd mental toughness to become the first ever american ninja warrior. hundreds and hundreds of athletes from venice, california, to miami, florida, and all walks of life took on brutal qualifying courses and even tougher city finals courses. - oh! - now, the top 85 athletes from across america have gathered here on the world-famous las vegas strip to take on the world's toughest obstacle course-- mount midoriyama. among those vying for the $1/2 million grand prize, one of the most accomplished competitors in the history of american ninja warrior, david campbell, schoolteacher and first-time ninja competitor colby frontiero,

send a team to launch bay one. ( grunting ) everybody all right? . mayweather, have you still got a fix on the shipwreck? yes, sir. transfer the coordinates to the launch bay. i'm going back for the boarding party. sir, the alien ship sunk another 2,000 meters. it's below the shuttle's safety limits. then polarize the hull plating. we'll take enterprise down. reed: there's got to be some way off this ship. ntegrity of klingon escape pods. my guess is we're better off in here. it's irrelevant, lieutenant. klingons don't use escape pods. it would be considered an act of cowardice to abandon ship. maybe we can use their com system to contact enterprise. i doubt their com will penetrate the em field any better than our own. if we can access their helm controls we might be able to put this vessel into a stable orbit. i haven't had much experience at piloting klingon ships. we have no other choice. start translating those consoles. look for anything marked "propulsion" "helm," "navigation." i'll try, but reading klingon is a lot different than speaking it.

[grunts]. abraham lincoln: [gasping breath]. dr. charles leale: [grunts]. william h.ouse opposite is closed. henry s. stafford: here, here! bring him here. dr. charles leale: go, go, go. man: clear the way, please. out of the way, please. tom hanks: lincoln is taken to a boarding house directly across the street from the theater and, due to his 6'4" height, laid diagonally on the bed of absent boarder, william clark. shorty after 11:00 pm, secretary of war edwin stanton sets up a headquarters in the back parlor of the house and establishes relays between there and the war department telegraph operators. he alerts general grant and calls him back to washington, issues emergency directives to police and military authorities, orders the national detective police, to initiate a manhunt for the as-yet unknown assassin and notifies vice president johnson that the president is dying. and shortly before midnight, chief justice david kellogg cartter begins to hear eyewitness testimony of the crime. but the appointed stenographer cannot write fast enough. general christopher au

another staff pick from the policies and pros bookstore is "grunt", to looks at the safety of effectively of america's military. atlantic magsz-- magazine contributor, about islamic exceptionalism. >> and the science behind ant anti-depre anti-depresssent medications. many of the authorities have or will be appearing on book tv and you can watch them on our website, book tv.org. >> next week, washington journal will devote the entire programming stay to the key issues facing the new trump administration in congress. beginning monday december 26th we'll look at national security and defense issues, including president-elect trump's look at the year ahead and james mattis. on tuesday, december 27th. it's trade and job issue had you congress and the trump administration could change current trade laws in an effort to create or save jobs. ens, december 28th, we'll discuss how energy and climate issues mitt be impacted by the incoming trump administration. thursday, we'll talk about immigration and how president trump and the administration will look at that. and we'll look at accordable care

(grunting) (classic rock music) (beeping) (golf balls bouncing) (grunting) (crashing down stairs) (golf bag smashing) (beeping) (golf balls bouncing)

. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: yeah, i heard about all the grunting and the sweating.h. >> stephen: i heard they had to do it to my grandma at a restaurant. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) are you crying? are you-- are you crying? don't cry! >> i hope she left a big tip. ( laughter ) >> stephen: hey, are you gonna-- are you gonna watch the "aquarius" two-hour commercial free season premiere this thursday on nbc? >> ( bleep ) yeah. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: david duchovny, everybody! ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ♪ for me? oh my... [gasps] what is it? it's samsung gear vr. you put it in there... push the play button. oh... [gasps] [laughter] this is crazy! oh my gosh! whooooah! wow. [sighs] [laughter] you've gotta try this. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ how else do you think he gets around so fast? take the reins this holiday and get the mercedes-benz you've always wanted during the winter event. now lease the 2017 gla250 for $329 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. but so we don't have tormin wad to get clean. charmin ultra soft gets you clean without the wasteful waddi

(tires screeching) (grunts) ♪ homer: d'oh!ht, tonight ♪ i'll win at cards tonight ♪ my flushes will be ♪ straight tonight ♪ lenny's gonna dominate tonight ♪ ♪ carl's gonna be a little late tonight ♪

[ lightsaber sound ] [ grunting ] [ cheers and applause ] ?? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, i want to ask you a question. oh, i want to take this away from you. thank you. i want to show everyone a clip. here's felicity jones in "rogue one: a star wars story"! enjoy! [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> ah! ?? >> this way! ?? [ blaster fire ] [ grunting ] ?? >> did you know that wasn't me? >> oh. of course. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: felicity jones, "rogue one: a star wars story", is in theaters, and imax 3d, december 16th. billy crudup joins us after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? ?? ?? before danny got what he was dreaming about for the holidays. before his mom earned 1% cash back everywhere, every time. [ dinosaur growls ] and his dad earned 2% back at grocery stores and wholesale clubs. ! even before they earned 3% back on gas. danny's parents used their bankamericard cash rewards credit card to give him the best day ever. that's the joy of rewarding connections. start your day with the number one choice of de

[ blaster fire ] [ grunting ] ? [ blaster fire ] ? >> did you know that wasn't me? >> oh. of course. [ cheers and applause ] "rogue one: a star wars story", is in theaters, and imax 3d, december 16th. billy crudup joins us after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? ? before danny got what he was dreaming about for the holidays. before his mom earned 1% cash back everywhere, every time. [ dinosaur growls ] and his dad earned 2% back at grocery stores and wholesale clubs. yeah! even before they earned 3% back on gas. danny's parents used their bankamericard cash rewards credit card to give him the best day ever. that's the joy of rewarding connections. start your day with the number one choice of dentists. philips sonicare removes significantly more plaque versus oral-b 7000. experience this amazing feel of clean. innovation and you. save now when you buy philips sonicare. ? ? 3,2,1... lumi?re, action! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: our next guest is a a tony award-winning actor, now starring in two upcoming new films, "jackie," which opens in

(homer grunts) d'oh! d'oh! (tires screeching) ♪ i don't believe it ♪ when you tell me ♪ that it's all gone bad ♪ it's true ♪ to... you... whoa! (tires screech) (alarm sounding, birds squawking) (alarm continues) (soft groaning, snoring) huh? where's the snooze button? ah, that's better. hey, what? i gotta get out of here! (alarm blaring) it's... (yawns) after just five more minutes. (yawns) (alarm blaring) (laughing): oh... marge...

sniffing) (crunching) (munching loudly) (sucking pacifier) (panting) (whimpers) (disgusted growl) ♪ (gruntsmm? (barking) (foreboding music plays) (neon sign crackles) ♪

it stared at him, grunted and got up on his feet --- that's when barnes said he took off. the bear is known as "ditka" by locals - and barnes says, it's the second time he has come by for a nap in two weeks, likely because there is no barrier under his porch. comfortable in his own home -- now it seems like its the bears turn. barnes chose to leave his home while fish and wildlife officers try to see if the bear is gone. if the bear is not ... they may have to tranquilize the bear in order to move him. seen pictures of saturn and its rings. they are from nasa's cassini spacecraft.. which is on a mission to study saturn's system. the pictures here...were taken using four different filters. each filter is sensitive to different wavelengths of light.. showing clouds and hazes at different altitudes. the next pass by the rings' outer edges is planned for december eleventh -- and cassini will send back more pictures. and a canadian police officer is apologizing to nickelback... the reason why in tonight's buzz. grammy award nominees are announced... beyonc and adele are going h

[ grunts ] leave him! leave him! [ music continues ] brick and mortar, what?! [ music continues ] [ tires screech ] [ laughs ] [ doorbell rings ] when you bundle home and auto insurance with progressive, you get more than a big discount. that's what you get for bundling home and auto! jamie! you get sneaky-good coverage. thanks. we're gonna live forever! won't replace the full value of your totaled new car. the guy says you picked the wrong insurance plan. no, i picked the wrong insurance company. with liberty mutual new car replacement™, you won't have to worry about replacing your car because you'll get the full value back including depreciation. and if you have more than one liberty mutual policy, you qualify for a multi-policy discount, saving you money on your car and home coverage. call for a free quote today. liberty stands with you™. liberty mutual insurance. sandra: the 2016 election dominated every facet of news this year. but which story was the biggest business story of 2016? gary: david, what was your biggest business story? david: i'm going to che

(grunts) (engine cuts off) hey, flanders. gas up your leaf blower much? (gasps) chickens?out six months. well, they've been driving me crazy. get rid of them. (chuckling): oh. don't let these feathery fellas ruffle your feathers, fella. chickens. you have yourself a perfectly good coop, and that's what you keep in it? (whistles) oh, homer, surely you know there's nothing tastier than a fresh-laid egg. how do you want 'em, boys? both (chanting): coddled! coddled! coddled! (chuckles) what is it about boys and their coddled eggs? hmm. mm-hmm. hmm?

>> screaming, wretching, swallowing, burping, more swallowing, a little grunt and decides that he ist the only one, though, doing crazy eggnog challenges. another one here, this is carmen, who is the number four ranked professional eater in the world, and he's going to do not one, not two, not three, but four half gallons of eggnog. >> no, there's no way. >> and just see how quickly he does it. three, two, one, let's go. just one after the other. the first gallon gone in a minute and 30 seconds. this final time for two gallons of eggnog with no sriracha is -- >> 3.3. >> what? >> if you are still celebrating get some eggnog on video, send it to us. i wouldn't, if i were you. >> oh, god, man. ugh. >>> the jones family is decorating their christmas tree. >> to reveal the gender of that irbaby. ? find out what it is next. >> but charity, it's black and white. how are we going to see the color? >>> the fight for santa's cap. >> uh-oh. the best gift for christmas, a baby, of course. >> for who? >> i'm not giving you one, i'm sorry. >> i'll take one. i'm talking about the families in these

>> screaming, wretching, swallowing, burping, more swallowing, a little grunt and decides that he isthe only one, though, doing crazy eggnog challenges. another one here, this is carmen, who is the number four ranked professional eater in the world, and he's going to do not one, not two, not three, but four half gallons of eggnog. >> no, there's no way. >> and just see how quickly he does it. three, two, one, let's go. just one after the other. the first gallon gone in a minute and 30 seconds. this final time for two gallons of eggnog with no sriracha is -- >> 3.3. >> what? >> if you are still celebrating get some eggnog on video, send it to us. i wouldn't, if i were you. >> oh, god, man. ugh. >>> the jones family is decorating their christmas tree. >> to reveal the gender of that irbaby. ? find out what it is next. >> but charity, it's black and white. how are we going to see the color? am i actually pushing these guys who ran out of gas six miles on a lonely highway? or is this a metaphor for how i'm constantly pushing myself to make a tastier sandwich? like my new pepper jack ranc

(tires screeching) (grunts) (alarm blaring) (paul engemann's "push it to the limit" playing) ♪ push itthe limit ♪ walk along the razor's edge ♪ but don't look down, just keep your head ♪ ♪ or you'll be finished ♪ ♪ open up the limit

go to spotskincancer.org to find out how. ( cheering ) ( grunts ) ( buzzer sounds ) now they're beating the boards out there, guys. this is your territory, grimson. do your job. grimson. hello? hi, honey. what? now? all right. ♪ the itsy-bitsy spider - ♪ climbed up the water spout... ♪ - ( giggling ) ♪ down came the rain ♪ and washed the spider out ♪ ♪ out came the sun... - shh. - ♪ and dried up all the rain ♪ ♪ and the itsy-bitsy spider - ♪ climbed up the spout again. ♪ - ( rock music playing ) i love you, daddy. i love you too, sweetheart. - ( laughing ) - ♪ do you believe in magic ♪ ♪ in a young girl's heart? - ♪ how the music can free her... ♪ - hey, it's my girl. ♪ whenever it starts? - ♪ and it's magic... - you know, my daughter? ( announcer speaks ) a message from the foundation for a better life. babies aren't fully developed until at least 39 weeks. a healthy baby is worth the wait. >>> abc 7 sports. >> the warriors have such a stable of scorers it's almost unfair. they take turns filling up the bucket and none of them care who it is. tonight against indiana, klay thompson went

(tires screeching) (grunts) ♪ yech! (somber music) bart: yes! (chuckles) (humming happily)

(tires screeching) (grunts) announcer: it's fourth and nine for the simpsons.akes the snap, looking for a receiver. they're all covered. he's gonna sneak it in! (crowd cheering) oh, man, that is why he gets to control the remote. ♪ (simpsons eating) mmm. oh, this tile is loose. i'll have to call a handy man. why'd you say it like that? with a pause between the words. are you saying i'm not handy? that's how you say it: handy man. it's handyman. that's what i said: handy... man. (exclaims) marjorie,

(tires screeching) (grunts) (all groan) announcer: nocturnal cravings. a positive ultrasound. could this woman's doctor not know she was pregnant? (gasps) a baby. an astronaut baby. (baby laughs) hey. oh, have you ever turned on a tv? it's my mother's birthday. and you only turn 80 once.

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(grunts) (horse neighing) (neighing) (neighing continues) (groans)

[ grunting ] [ groans ] [ groans ] gimme the keys! gimme the keys! ] [ gasps ] congratulations. you are being rescued. please do not resist. [ cheers and applause ] there it is, "rogue one: a star wars story." it opens in theaters december 16th. thank you all so much for coming. we'll be back with music from a tribe called quest! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ barrett: "the jimmy kimmel live concert series" is brought to you by the dick's sporting goods foundation. go to sportsmatter.org to help save youth sports. you by the dick's sporting goods foundation. ♪ go paperless, don't stress, girl ♪ ♪ i got the discounts that you need ♪ ♪ safe driver ♪ accident-free ♪ everybody put your flaps in the air for me ♪ ♪ go paperless, don't stress, girl ♪ ♪ i got the discounts that you need ♪ ♪ safe driver ♪ accident-free ♪ everybody put your flaps in the air for me ♪ i can't lip-synch in these conditions. ♪ savings ♪ oh, yeah ...one store is the store... to get your romantic on. kay jewelers. right now, save up to 30% on select diamond fashions including shimmering

(grunting) awww... (announcer vo) the real magic of the holidays is when we all give a little more.dad" per roll more "earning something you love" per roll bounty is more absorbent, so the roll can last 50% longer than the leading ordinary brand. so you get more "life" per roll. bounty, the quicker picker upper when are they leaving? grilled cheese and campbell's tomato soup go together like grandchildren and chaos. made for real, real life. ltry align probiotic.n your digestive system? for a non-stop, sweet treat goodness, hold on to your tiara kind of day. get 24/7 digestive support, with align. the #1 doctor recommended probiotic brand. now in kids chewables. >>> this morning we have new body cam footage released from scottsdale police from the arrest of michael floyd. the arrest happened early on december 13th following the cardinals loss in miami. floyd was accused of drunk driving. when police found him asleep at the driver's seat at a stop light. >> scottsdale police. put your car in park. turn your car off. >> what do i -- >> i'm not going to ask again. step out of the car.