>> guillermo: yeah, sure. >> simu: pass this along to guillermo. there you go. >> guillermook great. you look great in the outfit. thank you so much for joining us. "me time" premieres friday on netflix. we'll be right back with music from amelia moore. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, jimmy. ♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes benz. the best or nothing. here at city of refuge, we house up to 26 families. we reduce homelessness, address mental health, provide spaces for addiction to be broken, create spaces of healing and restoration. for the first time ever, prop 27 will provide permanent funding for organizations like ours. saying yes to prop 27 means more people get the assistance that they nee they get someone to partner in such a way to see transformation come to them. yes on prop 27, because there's no place like home. >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes eq. all electric, all mercedes. >> simu: that's all the time we have. i want to thank mandy moore, jimmy o. yang, and jimmy kimmel. even thoug

guillermo? >> guillermo: yes, sir? >> david: guillermo, you did something pretty cool with the dodgers this week? >> yeah, it was great, i had a lot of fun. >> david: every year, clayton kershaw holds a celebrity ping-pong tournament for his charity, kershaw's challenge. this time around he snagged the biggest celebrity of them all, our very own guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: yeah, thank you. >> david: guillermo hooked up with cody bellinger of the dodgers to get their pong on. >> guillermo: i'm here at dodger stadium to play the game this place is famous for, ping-pong. let's go, follow me! >> is it safe to say you've done a lot of practice. >> guillermo: yeah, i've practiced. how are you? everything good? thank you for having me here. >> thanks for being here. >> guillermo: where did you get the kid? >> i just found him. >> guillermo: how many kids you have? >> i have four. >> guillermo: four, oh my god. you have any other habits? >> kids and baseball, that's it. >> hey, what happened to you? you gained a lot of weight

guillermo? >> guillermo: yeah, that's bull [ bleep ], man. totally bull [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> simu: do you feel like you're paid enough for your job, guillermo>> guillermo: no, they don't pay me enough for my job, [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> simu: i'm not sure if you heard, there's actually a big scandal that's rocking hollywood right now. so here in southern california, we're in the middle of a massive drought. and local officials have been sending letters to residents who are using too much water. including some very notable names. >> with california in the midst of a historic drought emergency, tonight some of the biggest names in hollywood are finding themselves in hot water. the kardashians, dwyane wade, sylvester stallone, kevin hart, among the 2,000-plus customers warned for excessive water usage. >> simu: now before you grab your pitch forges, have a little compassion for these poor celebrities, all right? [ laughter ] do you even know how much water it takes to wash a private jet? [ laughter ] it's a lot. it's a lot. by the way, by the way, i get the kardashians. there's a lot of them. [ laughter ] but how much water could kevin hart

here's guillermo. ♪ ♪ [ crowd chanting "guillermo" ] >> guillermo: [ bleep ]. >> fly ball. team brooklyn celebrates a two-run victory here in the 2022 all-star celebrity softball game. >> guillermo: i had too much tequila. that's why i couldn't hit the ball. but it was great. that's it from the celebrity softball game. we're losers. >> to losers. [ cheers and applause ] >> dana: we've got a great show for you tonight. julia garner is here. we have music from domi and j.d. beck with anderson .paak. we'll be right back with quentin tarantino! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ finished? of course not. you're no crispy, juicy, tender rookie. you know the crumbs at the bottom of the bag are the finale to your mcdonald's crispy chicken sandwich. ♪ ba da ba ba ba ♪ whenever heartburn strikes get fast relief with tums. it's time to love food back. ♪ tum tum tum tum tums ♪ a dental tool is round for a reason. so is an oral-b. round cleans better by surrounding each tooth. so clean, you'll feel like you just left the dentist. oral-b. brush like a pro. ♪♪ with geico, we

guillermo! ♪ >> jimmy: what in the world? that's my office! [ cheers and applause ] >> mark: so -- yeah. it was guillermo's idea, jimmy! it was guillermo'srustration? perhaps between the two of you? i don't know. >> mark: that's what happens when you leave the nerds in charge, jimmy. well, thank you for letting me host -- >> jimmy: wait, it's not going to disappear now or something? >> guillermo: no. >> two or three months. >> mark: that's not our problem, jimmy. we're out of here. >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: all right. well, my attorneys will be in touch. [ laughter ] don't you laugh, guillermo. you'll still be there when i get back. [ laughter ] >> mark: it was his idea right here! the white guy right here, jimmy! [ laughter and applause ] >> mark: this white guy, this white guy. thank you for letting me host your show for what i'm sure will be the last time. >> jimmy: that's right, yeah. >> mark: we'll be right back with music from demi lovato! [ cheers and applause ] >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. ♪ ♪ the thing that's different about a vrbo vacation home. you always have

>> guillermo: that's right, honey. [ laughter ] >> rupaul: oh my goodness, i miss you, guillermo. >> guillermoi miss you too, i love you >> rupaul: i love you. and listen, i hope you don't mind. but i brought a little backup, okay? my best friend and sassy judge from "drag race" michelle visage. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. guillermo, you are in good hands. michelle has done extensive research with latin men. [ laughter ] >> you better drop that chalupa. [ laughter ] >> rupaul: you know, we are currently in production of season 800 of "drag race." [ laughter ] you know, our shows were nominated for 11 emmys this year. [ cheers and applause ] isn't that wild? 11. i got to tell you, i feel like the dick wolf of drag. [ laughter ] or maybe the drag wolf of [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] i should actually be so lucky. now of course, the big story today is that president biden tested positive for covid. but according to the white house, biden is feeling pretty good for a 300-year-old man. [ laughter ] joe said his symptoms are mild, and he'll be back to falling off his bike in no time. [ laughter

guillermo! >> guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] in case he just missed it, remind everyone in the bar what your name is, sir? >> guillermolermo. [ cheers and applause ] >> that is a great job, guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] you have to crack a new one. open a new beer each time i say your name. guillermo. >> guillermo: sorry. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah! >> you know how a few months ago we heard donald trump flushed documents down the toilet? now we've seen the proof. that is a photo recovered by maggie haberman of the "new york times" with notes trump reportedly flushed down the toilet. here's another from an overseas trip. and this one is from the bathroom at mar-a-lago. [ laughter ] a birthday card from eric. poor eric. good news. president biden is now covid-free! [ applause ] happy to hear that. he's back on his feet and as healthy as a 175-year-old horse. [ laughter ] president of the united states. this was biden's second bout with the virus. you know, these rebound covid cases are quite rare. they say the odds of joe biden getting re-infected were almost as low as the odds that he gets re-elected. [ laugh

guillermo? >> guillermo: you, my friend. >> lamorne: you're [ bleep ] right it was. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: yes, yes, yes! lamorne: guillermo, did you watch the new "game of thrones" show last night? >> guillermo: no, i did not see it. >> lamorne: you didn't see it? >> guillermo: no. >> lamorne: my gosh. me neither. [ laughter ] but it's called "the house of the dragon." when i first heard that title i thought, man, the chinese restaurant on my block is finally getting its own tv show. [ laughter ] i was very honored for them. but this show takes place before the events of "game of thrones." right? but here's an interesting fact, it actually doesn't, because this is all some made-up dragon bull [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] it's not real, you guys. it's not real -- i'm just kidding. i don't want to upset the show's core fanbase, which is men 18 to 49 who have never touched a titty before. [ laughter ] sorry, mom. my mom is here. my mom is actually in the audience right now. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. mom, you don't -- you don't like it when i swear on tv, do you? >> no, i don't. no, i do not. >> lamo

guillermo to see just how low he could go. >> guillermo: hi, how are you? >> nicole: guillermo! are you ready to get sexy? guillermo: i was born ready. >> nicole: you were born ready? >> guillermo: yes. >> nicole: all right, let's shake our asses! >> guillermo: this is the place you mike miracles? >> lots of miracles. >> guillermo: i want to be sexy. >> you're already sexy. >> guillermo: i like you, you're nice. nice and wide, all the way down, hands on the floor. how does that feel to you guys? >> guillermo: it feels painful. >> nicole: painful? >> open up to the front -- >> guillermo: [ bleep ]. >> to a side lunge. >> guillermo: i think my -- >> nicole: your huevos? >> guillermo: my balls. >> that's it. up. up. >> i feel very tired. but you know what would make me feel very loose? >> what? >> guillermo: tequila. yeah. >> well, being sexy is work. hard work. >> we've got to work on our strength a little bit. we've got to do some pushups. >> [ bleep ]. >> can we do a set of eight? i'll do them with you. >> nicole: guillermo, i'm with you on this one. >> ready? nice, strong plank. pull in those abs. eight,

guillermo did you think it was funny? >> guillermo: no, i didn't like it. [ laughter ] >> rob: that's my guy. >> hold on one second. guillermoat is funny. a plug. >> rob: why did you do that? >> you know what, speaking of humiliating people on national television, remember that clip you showed earlier, before the commercial, where we were all in england celebrating what we thought was, you know -- >> rob: yeah, a goal. >> a goal. can we play that, just the last part again? >> somebody needs to explain the offside rule to the a-listers. >> yeah. oh, wow. there i am. i turn around to congratulate my husband. and you just go ahead and jump right into the arms of ryan reynolds. [ laughter ] just aggressively. >> rob: okay. >> you made a -- you saw me. and you turned and you jumped right into his arms. [ laughter ] >> rob: in fairness -- >> yeah? >> rob: who wouldn't want to jump into the arms of ryan reynolds? [ laughter ] im -- in fact, i'm going to ask the audience. not who would, because that should be overwhelming. who wouldn't want to jump into the arms of ryan reynolds? anybody? >> all right, fine. [ laughter ] i would hav

. >> muchas gracias, guillermo guillermo. inicia el nuevo ciclo escolar. <> la falta de sueño. >> sandra bonilla platicó con expertos. >> lo que hago es quitarle la tv el teléfono y la tablet, antes d que se vayan a dormir. >> el sueño es factor clave para los estudiantes a la hora de rendir escolarmente. >> es hora de apagar los aparatos para descansar y comenzar el día siguiente con energía, para estudiar, y hacer las actividades. >> y reciente estudio a nivel nacional, entre menos descansen los jóvenes menos aprenden en clases y sobretodo disminuy su rendimiento en matematicas matemáticas. ¿por qué no están durmiendo los niños? la mejor hora para ir a la cama según expertos es a las 10 del a noche noche: ni pensar en dormir temprano, a eso de las 9 a 10 si se va a levantar a las 4, a las ocho procurar que le baje el sueño, hay que dormir siete horas para que el cuerpo descasnse. >> si sus niños no logran descansar es hora de consultar al pediatra. >> también tenemos tiempo como padres para nosotros, entre más temprano se v

guillermo? >> guillermo: i have no [ bleep ] idea. [ laughter ] >> kerry: language! guillermo, language! gosh. 've got some rare encouraging good news out of washington. yesterday the house voted to protect same-sex marriage and interracial marriage, which is great. [ cheers and applause ] really great. it's also, it's also a little bit scary that they even have to do this in the first place. are we going to have to redo all of our laws now? because if that's the case, i'd love to lock down the whole women have the right to vote thing, okay? [ cheers and applause ] i mean, honestly, how messed up is it that republicans believe that marriage is a decision made between a woman and a man, but a woman's abortion is a decision made between 60 dudes on capitol hill? [ cheers and applause ] so now the bill moves to the senate, where it's unclear how lawmakers will vote. it's also unclear if the earth will exist a year from now. i'm serious, google it. actually, don't google it, because apparently that's not the cool way to look stuff up anymore. according to a senior vice president at google, about 40

working with america's number one sidekick, guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: thank you, sir! you're doing a good job. >> al: by the way, guillermoby the way -- what people out there probably may not know is that you don't actually have an accent. >> guillermo: that's right. [ laughter ] >> al: yeah. it's actually all, you know, part of the schtick that you do with jimmy. >> guillermo: yes, it's part of a -- ticks. [ laughter ] yeah. yes. >> al: we have some encouraging news out of washington. today, president biden signed "the inflation reduction act." [ cheers and applause ] which is a huge achievement. it makes the single biggest investment in addressing climate change ever. while i'm here, i should talk about some of the other existential threats facing our nation. the enormous gaps in wealth and income. the threats to our democracy. but i really think one of the most serious issues facing our country today is just how big a dick ted cruz is. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i've said it before, but i probably liked ted cruz more than most of my colleagues liked ted cruz. and i hate ted cruz. [ laughter ] ted cruz is prob

guillermo! >> guillermo: okay, great, yes! >> nicole: guillermo, what are you going to miss most about me? guillermo: everything. you're nice, sweet, beautiful, you have a good heart. >> nicole: aww, thank you. i have to say, it's a little weird to see you in clothes. [ laughter ] last night on the show, i had guillermo do his first-ever striptease. it was muy caliente. [ cheers and applause ] and guillermo, i think you may have started a trend here in l.a. >> on the move, video going viral out of van nuys, taken just a few seconds after a two-vehicle crash at the intersection of victory and kester. the driver of a blue pickup exiting the cab of his wrecked truck wearing no pants. the naked man just walks away from the crash scene as several eyewitnesses look on. the man eventually drops the clothes he's carrying into the streets and then just keeps on walking down the road. [ laughter ] >> nicole: yep. oh, yeah! that man is currently wanted. by me. [ laughter ] speaking of naked, papa johns is stripping the toppings off their pizza for a weird new dish. they're calling it "papa bowls." wh

guillermo gonzÁlez. guillermo: millones de personas estÁn atascadas en medio enormes demoras . para muchos de ellos los tiempos de espera se han duplicado. incluso triplicado. >> cuando una persona aplica un ajuste se demora aproximadamente 15.5 meses. guillerm: un factor que retrasa aÚn mÁs las demÁs peticiones. como dice este empresario que necesita renovar su visa de inversionista. >> soy un empresario que me estoy viendo enormemente afectado. a pesar de que estÉ generando empleo y pagan impuestos. >> es una acumulaciÓn que diera relacionada con una aplicaciÓn excesiva de casos de asilo. guillermo casa estÁ su caso, puede visitar la pÁgina uscis, y buscar el botÓn estatus de casos en lÍnea. prometen reducir lostrÁmites para ajustes de estatus y otros beneficios migratorios. sin embargo, todos los esfuerzos parecen insuficientes debido al enorme volumen de trabajo que tienen cada dÍa. jorge: se casaron otra vez jennifer lÓpez y ben affleck, celebraron una boda frente a familiares y amigos en georgia. nunca segundas partes feromonas, pero esta vez puede ser la segunda vez. gracias por estar con nosotros. nos vemos maÑana aquÍ mismo. ♪ ♪excepciÓn, mira, sofía, este es tu bebé y no lo debes de maltratar. lo debes de cuidar mucho y no lo debes... - hola, hola. - ¡papi! hola, mi princesa. qué rico recibimiento, mi amor. eres el sol de mi vida. - y tú el mío. - ay, mi gaby.

guillermo, can you said that loud, commissioner guillermo, we didn't hear you. >> sorry. yes. >> okay, great. commissioner chow? >> yes. >> thank you. commissioner green? oh, commissioner green? i'll unmute you, how about that? >> yes. >> great, we're under consideration for adjournment. >> move to adjourn. >> second. >> second. >> commissioner guillermo. >> yes! >> thank you, commissioners. >> commissioner guillermo? >> yes. >> commissioner chow? >> yes. >> commissioner green? >> yes. >> did i get you commissioner giraudo? >> yes. but i'll give another yes. >> thank you and sfgov tv and for everyone that stuck around and thank you very much and eat and drink and take care of yourselves. >> you too, mark. >> bye. >> bye. >> i went through a lot of struggles in my life, and i am blessed to be part of this. i am familiar with what people are going through to relate and empathy and compassion to their struggle so they can see i came out of the struggle, it gives them hope to come up and do something positive. ♪ ♪ i am a community ambassador. we work a lot with homeless, visitors, a lot of people in the area. >> what i like doing is posting up at hotspots to let people see visibility. they ask you questions, ask you directions, they might have a question about what services are available. checking in, you guys. >> wellness check. we walk

guillermo. can i -- can i stare at you? >> guillermo: yeah, sure. [ laughter ] >> nikki: nice titties, bro. [ laughter and applause ] that felt good. i think we fell in love. i've got to ask you, guillermowhat's the worst date you've ever been on? >> guillermo: oh my god. >> nikki: really? what? >> guillermo: i went out with this lady, and she invited me to her apartment. >> nikki: yeah? >> guillermo: so i was so happy, excited, i was going to get some action. [ laughter ] we got to her apartment. i take off my clothes and everything. and she brings this big snake. and she told me, guillermo, we're going to have so much fun. i said, oh, [ bleep ]! and i start running. [ laughter ] >> nikki: you didn't get to show her your big snake? >> guillermo: no, no. >> nikki: not fair at all. >> guillermo: my little snake, no. [ laughter and applause ] >> nikki: you're proud of it, oh, yeah. well, honestly, dating sucks no matter who you are. i thought as a public service to all the singles out there that i'd like to get a new perspective on courtship by talking to the next generation of hopeless romantics. mia, we are going to talk about dating. yeah, i feel the same way. what dating advice do you

guillermo con el reporte. guillermo: tras una larga batalla legal un juez ordenÓ al servicio de inmigraciÓn y aduanas que publicara estas imÁgenes de una gigantesca redada realizada por agentes federales en una planta de procesamiento de carnes en tennessee, en abril de 2018. en el vÍdeo se aprecia, ademÁs, el momento que un oficial pone su bota en el cuello de una los trabajadores por cerca de 25 segundos. a pesar de hallarse en el suelo, bocabajo, e inmÓvil. la redada fue la mÁs grande en 10 aÑos y se efectuÓ, segÚn la demanda presentada colectivamente,por los trabajadores afectados, con un perfil claramente racial. >> esta certificaciÓn que se recibiÓ en este caso en necesaria conoce trae una demanda colectiva,un procedimiento que se requiere para la corte poder escuchar la queja de varios demandantes que estÁn en una situaciÓn similar o que sufrieron los daÑos. >> el juez federaldijo en su respuesta a la demanda que antes de la redada los agentes habÍan estado hablando sobre arrestar a los trabajadores hispanos y combinar el origen Étnico hispano con el estatus legal. segÚn un reporte el juez tambiÉn dijo que no hubo evidencia de que los agentes arrestaron a ninguna persona blanca. >> como a las 9:00 nos reportaron que migraciÓn habÍa entrado a una compaÑÍa. es un rastro donde hace matanzas de vacas. y dicen que entraron y sacaron a mÁs o menos mÁs de 100 personas. guillermop. y de las 97 personas arrestadas sÓlo a 11 de ellas se les presentaron cargos criminales. segÚn dijeron algunos, a muchos ni siquiera se les pidiÓ su documentaciÓnhasta varias horas despuÉs del operativo y algunos ya estaban esposados e incomunicados. mediante esta demanda colectiva que presentaron los trabajadores arrestados durante la redada de 2018, pretenden una compensaciÓn econÓmica por parte del departamento de aduanas e inmigraciÓn, por lo que consideran una fragante oraciÓn a sus derechos civiles. fÉlix: la mÁs grande investigaciÓnen usar micrÓfonos ocultos resultÓ en el arresto de 85 personas acusadas de trÁfico de drogas en la florida. la investigaciÓn comenzÓ en 2020 cuando la policÍa recibe informaciÓn de la importaciÓn de metanfetaminas en una familia en la florida. la droga era llevada de mÉxico a la florida en maletas a bordo de vuelos comerciales. conductora: el exvicepresidente dijo no haber sacado ningÚn documento con informaciÓn clasificada al dejar el cargo. sus

guillermo's been making me feel at home. what's up, my man? >> guillermo: how are you doing, man? you're doing a great job. >> desus: thank you, brother. >> guillermoi love that jacket. yeah, you look amazing. yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> desus: thank you. i love guillermo. he reminds me of those bronx bodega owners who'll sell you weed if you know the secret password. "yo papi, lemme get a box of that cinnamon toast crunch, 'extra crunchy." [ laughter ] listen, it's weird to be hosting a show on network tv because i was on he sho-time for the past four years. where they pretty much let you say whatever the [ bleep ] you want. [ laughter ] guillermo, can i say whatever the [ bleep ] i want on abc? >> guillermo: i don't think so. but you're not coming back tomorrow. so who gives a [ bleep ]? [ cheers and applause ] whatever you want, man. >> desus: listen, he made it valid. yo, just so you know, everyone's always telling me l.a. is so great, you've got to move out here. so when i finally come out here, i see this. "megafloods could devastate california." i've got to give you guys credit. between the earthquakes, the fires, and the megafloods, yo

guillermo gonzÁlez no demuestran panorama. guillermo: la catastrÓfica inundaciones sigan anota azotando sin tregua varias regiones de mississippi la lluvia no se ha detenido en semanas, ante la magnitud de los desastre el gobernador declarÓ el estado de emergencia, y el alcalde del condado jackson una de las Áreas mÁs afectadas hizo un llamado angustioso, e vacunen ya. [habla en inglÉs] [habla en inglÉs] guillermoicos indican que las lluvias continuarÁn y los lÍderes de ciudades y condados afectados le advirtieron a sus pobladores que deben tener preparados un plan de emergencia para afrontar las inundaciones. [habla en inglÉs] [habla en inglÉs] guillermo: autoridades y voluntarios ayudan a rescatar a personas que quedaron atrapadas en medio del agua en la comunidad donde funciona un asilo para ancianos los equipos de ayuda trabaja sin parar. [habla en inglÉs] [habla en inglÉs] [habla en inglÉs] guillermo: pero el riesgo no para los expertos creen que los ni de los del rÍo en el condado jackson podrÍa seguir aumentando poniendo en grave riesgo a muchas comunidades, las autoridades temen que esta noche sus aguas puedan llegar a los 36 pies. las autoridades de algunas Áreas del estado han dicho que el nivel de las aguas podrÍa seguir subiendo y afectar a mÁs de residencia el gobernador dijo que ya hay varios equipos de bÚsqueda y rescate listos para entrar en acciÓn tan pronto como sea necesario

guillermo, can you said that loud, commissioner guillermo, we didn't hear you. >> sorry. yes. >> okay, great. commissioner chow? >> yes. >> thank you. commissioner green? oh, commissioner green? i'll unmute you, how about that? >> yes. >> great, we're under consideration for adjournment. >> move to adjourn. >> second. >> second. >> commissioner guillermo. >> yes! >> thank you, commissioners. >> commissioner guillermo? >> yes. >> commissioner chow? >> yes. >> commissioner green? >> yes. >> did i get you commissioner giraudo? >> yes. but i'll give another yes. >> thank you and sfgov tv and for everyone that stuck around and thank you very much and eat and drink and take care of yourselves. >> you too, mark. >> bye. >> bye. >> i went through a lot of struggles in my life, and i am blessed to be part of this. i am familiar with what people are going through to relate and empathy and compassion to their struggle so they can see i came out of the struggle, it gives them hope to come up and do something positive. ♪ ♪ i am a community ambassador. we work a lot with homeless, visitors, a lot of people in the area. >> what i like doing is posting up at hotspots to let people see visibility. they ask you questions, ask you directions, they might have a question about what services are available. checking in, you guys. >> wellness check. we walk

guillermo, can you said that loud, commissioner guillermo, we didn't hear you. >> sorry. yes. >> okay, great. commissioner chow? >> yes. >> thank you. commissioner green? oh, commissioner green? i'll unmute you, how about that? >> yes. >> great, we're under consideration for adjournment. >> move to adjourn. >> second. >> second. >> commissioner guillermo. >> yes! >> thank you, commissioners. >> commissioner guillermo? >> yes. >> commissioner chow? >> yes. >> commissioner green? >> yes. >> did i get you commissioner giraudo? >> yes. but i'll give another yes. >> thank you and sfgov tv and for everyone that stuck around and thank you very much and eat and drink and take care of yourselves. >> you too, mark. >> bye. >> bye. adjourned. >> shop & dine in the 49 promotes local businesses and challenges residents to do their shop & dine in the 49 with within the 49 square miles of san francisco by supporting local services within the neighborhood we help san francisco remain unique successful and vibrant so where will you shop & dine in the 49 my name is jim woods i'm the founder of woods beer company and the proprietor of woods copy k open 2 henry adams what makes us unique is that we're reintegrated brooeg the beer and serving that cross the table people are sitting next to the xurpz drinking alongside we're having a lot of ingredient that

guillermo, can you said that loud, commissioner guillermo, we didn't hear you. >> sorry. yes. >> okay, great. commissioner chow? >> yes. >> thank you. commissioner green? oh, commissioner green? i'll unmute you, how about that? >> yes. >> great, we're under consideration for adjournment. >> move to adjourn. >> second. >> second. >> commissioner guillermo. >> yes! >> thank you, commissioners. >> commissioner guillermo? >> yes. >> commissioner chow? >> yes. >> commissioner green? >> yes. >> did i get you commissioner giraudo? >> yes. but i'll give another yes. >> thank you and sfgov tv and for everyone that stuck around and thank you very much and eat and drink and take care of yourselves. >> you too, mark. >> bye. >> bye. . >> president yee: of the 26 neighborhoods we have in west portal, it's probably the most unique in terms of a small little town. you can walk around here, and it feels different from the rest of san francisco. people know each other. they shop here, they drink wine here. what makes it different is not only the people that live here, but the businesses, and without all these establishments, you wouldn't know one neighborhood from the other. el toreador is a unique restaurant. it's my favorite restaurant in san francisco, but when you look around, there's nowhere else that you'll see decorations like this, and it make

guillermo, can you said that loud, commissioner guillermo, we didn't hear you. >> sorry. yes. >> okay, great. commissioner chow? >> yes. >> thank you. commissioner green? oh, commissioner green? i'll unmute you, how about that? >> yes. >> great, we're under consideration for adjournment. >> move to adjourn. >> second. >> second. >> commissioner guillermo. >> yes! >> thank you, commissioners. >> commissioner guillermo? >> yes. >> commissioner chow? >> yes. >> commissioner green? >> yes. >> did i get you commissioner giraudo? >> yes. but i'll give another yes. >> thank you and sfgov tv and for everyone that stuck around and thank you very much and eat and drink and take care of yourselves. >> you too, mark. >> bye. >> bye. >> candlestick park known also as the stick was an outdoor stadium for sports and entertainment. built between 1958 to 1960, it was located in the bayview hunters point where it was home to the san francisco giants and 49ers. the last event held was a concert in late 2014. it was demolished in 2015. mlb team the san francisco giants played at candlestick from 1960-1999. fans came to see players such a willie mays and barry bonds, over 38 seasons in the open ballpark. an upper deck expansion was added in the 1970s. there are two world series played at the stick in 1962 and in 198 9. during the 1989 world series against

guillermo, can you said that loud, commissioner guillermo, we didn't hear you. >> sorry. yes. >> okay, great. commissioner chow? >> yes. >> thank you. commissioner green? oh, commissioner green? i'll unmute you, how about that? >> yes. >> great, we're under consideration for adjournment. >> move to adjourn. >> second. >> second. >> commissioner guillermo. >> yes! >> thank you, commissioners. >> commissioner guillermo? >> yes. >> commissioner chow? >> yes. >> commissioner green? >> yes. >> did i get you commissioner giraudo? >> yes. but i'll give another yes. >> thank you and sfgov tv and for everyone that stuck around and thank you very much and eat and drink and take care of yourselves. >> you too, mark. >> bye. >> bye. >> okay. good afternoon and welcome back to the san francisco planning commission hybrid hearing thursday august 25, 22. i trust everyone enjoyed their recess. in person and remote hearings require everyone's attention and our patience. if you are joining us remotely, and are not speaking mute, broadcasts and streaming this live and we will receive public be comment for each item. comments during the public comment period are available

guillermo? >> here. >> commission -- commissioner guillermo will read the land acknowledgement. >> thank you, commissioneren. the san francisco health commission acknowledges that we are on the unceded ancestral homeland of the ramaytush (rah-my-toosh) ohlone (o-lon-ee) who are the original inhabitants of the san francisco peninsula. as the indigenous stewards of this land, and in accordance with their traditions, the ramaytush ohlone have never ceded, lost, nor forgotten their responsibilities as the caretakers of this place, as well as for all peoples who reside in their traditional territory. as guests, we recognize that we benefit from living and working on their traditional

guillermo? >> here. >> commission -- commissioner guillermo will read the land acknowledgement. >> thank you, commissioneren. the san francisco health commission acknowledges that we are on the unceded ancestral homeland of the ramaytush (rah-my-toosh) ohlone (o-lon-ee) who are the original inhabitants of the san francisco peninsula. as the indigenous stewards of this land, and in accordance with their traditions, the ramaytush ohlone have never ceded, lost, nor forgotten their responsibilities as the caretakers of this place, as well as for all peoples who reside in their traditional territory. as guests, we recognize that we benefit from living and working on their traditional homeland. we wish to pay our respects by acknowledging the ancestors, eldean

guillermo gonzÁlez. guillermo: mientras las fuertes inundaciones continuaban en varias zonas de texas, ahora la emergencia se traslada al este del paÍs, cerca de 5,000,000 de personas amanecen hoy bajo amenaza de deslaves y tornados, desde mississippi hasta alabama xtensas Áreas afectadas debido a las inundaciones son el comÚn denominador esta maÑana. en algunas Áreas como en jackson han caÍdo hasta cinco pulgadas de lluvia en sÓlo 38 horas. [habla en inglÉs] guillermoanorama es devastador. en medio de la angustia que viven muchas familias, la tragedia por la pÉrdida de vidas parece inevitable. [habla en inglÉs] >> este hombre perdiÓ a su esposa en una de las tormentas, dice que encontrÓ su carro en medio de las inundaciones. es sÓlo una muestra de los devastadores efectos de la emergencia. [habla en inglÉs] guillermo: en algunas zonas las autoridades han ordenado la evacuaciÓn de cientos de personas, mientras otras miles continÚan bajo alerta. tambiÉn las autoridades han establecido un Área con riesgo significativo de inundaciones repentinas que abarca desde el noreste de luisiana hasta la mayor parte del centro de mississippi, los suelos de esa extensa Área estÁn saturados de agua y muchos arroyos y pantanos amenazan con desbordarse debido a las intensas lluvias. karla: gracias por tu reportaje. que triste ver esos testimonios, imagÍnate estar hablando con tu pareja de repente perder contacto. que terrible situaciÓn. gracias por tu reporte. esto n

guillermo, can you said that loud, commissioner guillermo, we didn't hear you. >> sorry. yes. >> okay, great. commissioner chow? >> yes. >> thank you. commissioner green? oh, commissioner green? i'll unmute you, how about that? >> yes. >> great, we're under consideration for adjournment. >> move to adjourn. >> second. >> second. >> commissioner guillermo. >> yes! >> thank you, commissioners. >> commissioner guillermo? >> yes. >> commissioner chow? >> yes. >> commissioner green? >> yes. >> did i get you commissioner giraudo? >> yes. but i'll give another yes. >> thank you and sfgov tv and for everyone that stuck around and thank you very much and eat and drink and take care of yourselves. >> you too, mark. >> bye. >> bye. >>> the tenderloin is home to families, immigrants, seniors, merchants, workers and the housed and unhoused who all deserve a thriving neighborhood to call home. the tenderloin initiative was launched to improve safety, reduce crime, connect people to services and increase investments in the neighborhood. as city and community-based partners, we work daily to make these changes a reality. we invite you to the tenderloin history, inclusivity make this neighborhood special. >> we're all citizens of san francisco and we deserve food, water, shelter, all of those things that any system would. >> what i find the most fulfi

guillermo? >> here. >> commission -- commissioner guillermo will read the land acknowledgement. >> thank you, commissioner green. the san francisco health commission acknowledges that we are on the unceded ancestral homeland of the ramaytush (rah-my-toosh) ohlone (o-lon-ee) who are the original inhabitants of the san francisco peninsula. as the indigenous stewards of this land, and in accordance with their traditions, the ramaytush ohlone have never ceded, lost, nor forgotten their responsibilities as the caretakers of this place, as well as for all

guillermo? >> here. >> commission -- commissioner guillermo will read the land acknowledgement. >> thank you, commissioneren. the san francisco health commission acknowledges that we are on the unceded ancestral homeland of the ramaytush (rah-my-toosh) ohlone (o-lon-ee) who are the original inhabitants of the san francisco peninsula. as the indigenous stewards of this land, and in accordance with their traditions, the ramaytush ohlone have never ceded, lost, nor forgotten their responsibilities as the caretakers of this place, as well as for all peoples who reside in their traditional territory. as guests, we recognize that we benefifr

guillermo gonzÁlez que tiene la respuesta. guillermo: un juez federal de florida ordenÓ al departamento de justicia publicar una versiÓn editada de la declaraciÓn jurada que utilizÓ el fbi para realizar el allanamiento en mar a lago en busca de documentos clasificados . el juez emitiÓ la orden luego de que el departamento de justicia le entregara una versiÓn con varios de sus apartes sellados debido a que los investigadores quieren preservar en secreto alguno de los elementos mientras se desarrolla el proceso y algunos expertos advierten que lo que se conocerÁ serÁ muy confuso e incompleto. >> yo no veo la posibilidad de poder entender todo lo que pasÓ y que eventualmente culminÓ en mar a lago. guillermora que no hizo nada maloy que el gobierno allanÓ su casa. algunos reportes de prensa entre los que se incluyen la cadena cnn dijeron que hoy que el presidente trump y sus allegados estÁn preocupados ante la posibilidad de una eventual acusaciÓn criminal en su contra, sin embargo hasta el momento la acusaciÓn no existe aÚn. elyangÉlica: va a pasar en quÉ momento. alan: hasta cinco aÑos de cÁrcel es una pareja que se acaba de declarar culpable de robar y vender el diario de la hija del presidente joe biden. se estaban mudando de la casa de un amigo en la florida cuando extraviÓ la libreta y otras pertenencias. karla: a partir de esta semana entran en vigor leyes contra el aborto en varios estados liderados por republicanos. legislaciones activan tras el dictamen de la corte suprema que cancela la protecciÓn federal a ese derecho, idaho, tennessee, texas y dakota del norte pondrÍan penas de prisiÓn a quienes no cumplan las restricciones empataran a millones de personas en todo el paÍs. el

kimmel" in a theater that shares a parking lot with a hooters. [ laughter ] guillermo, how many awards has jimmy won? >> guillermolike three or four. [ laughter ] >> david: shut up. [ laughter ] what a show-off. as a beloved tony award-winning actor, people are always clamoring for information about me. so i've decided tonight i'm going to answer three of the most frequently asked questions about me on google. by the way, these are real questions, okay? no fake news here. anyways. first up -- what is david alan grier doing now? answering your dumb-ass questions. next? [ laughter ] okay, this one isn't even about me. how old is jamie foxx? [ laughter ] that depends. in regular years? 54. in black years? 9 1/2. [ laughter and applause ] and this is the number one question most asked about me on google. did david alan grier pass away? [ laughter ] yes, he was smothered under the weight of yo mama. okay, we good now? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now, there's crazy stuff happening everywhere, especially down in the sunshine state where it's time for tonight's edition of "this week in florida." >> the county sh

guillermo? >> here. >> commission -- commissioner guillermo will read the land acknowledgement. >> thank you, commissioner green. the san francisco health commission acknowledges that we are on the unceded ancestral homeland of the ramaytush (rah-my-toosh) ohlone (o-lon-ee) who are the original inhabitants of the san francisco peninsula. as the indigenous stewards of this land, and in accordance with their traditions, the ramaytush ohlone have never ceded, lost, nor forgotten their responsibilities as the caretakers of this place, as well as for all peoples who reside in their traditional territory. as guests, we recognize that we benefit from living and working on their traditional homeland. we wish to pay our respects by acknowledging the ancestors, elders, and relatives of the ramaytush ohlone community and by affirming their sovereign rights as first peoples. >> thank you. our first item is an employee recognition. well-deserved for dr. hali hammer and roland pickens who is the director of san francisco health network and acting ceo will read the acknowledgement. >> good afternoon, everyone. and thank you, commissioner green and commissioners for allowing me this opportunity to say a few words on behalf of someone i have known for many years and who is well deserving of this award and recognition. dr. hali hammer, what can i say? we met over 20 years ago at the family health center at then, san francisco general hospital, now zuckerberg san francisco hospital, i think you were the associate medical director a few years out of residency and i was an associated administrator and your department was one of the departments i have responsibility for and so, it's a pleasure working with you, both 20 years ago and the fact we've been able to work together ever since. and i've seen you progressing your career and all the while helping others along the way both your patients and trainees and colleagues at all levels. you are truly an inspiration for all of us at dph and you inspire you with your leadership and dedication and your diligence towards equity, excellence and achievement. so, it's with a pleasure that we acknowledge your many contributions to dph and to the city and county of san francisco. thank you! >> thank you so much. is there any public comment on this item? >> folks on the line, if you would like to make comment on item two, press star three. in general, a tip is if you would like to make public comment on an item when called, this is the best time to press star three and so this is plenty of time to get your hand up so again, star three for this item. i see no hands commissioners and i believe director colfax has something to say. >> i will, thank you, commissioner green and i just wanted to echo, mr. pickens comments about dr. hammer and dr. hammer, i think we have known each other for also about two decades or longer since we were in training and the first time i heard about you was -- maybe i was a resident at this time and the work you were doing and the commitment you had and it has been an honor to intersect with you in many ways during your career and to see that commitment and that brilliance expand to a broader leadership work. i had a few comments from other people across the department about dr. hammer's leadership. there's a lot here but i'm going to read a few bullets for the commissioners to hear. dr. hammer is a champion for new and innovative programs and advocate for community based programs, behavior health for our network patients, battling ten years as director at the family health center but deeply involved in the rebuilding and restructuring of our primarily care clinics including southeast center and castro center. and very importantly, a great mentor to so many rising leaders in the organization, and individual strengths and corks in all the areas that she works. just the fact that dr. hammer, hali from my own personal perspective, the contributions you make in an area that, in the public don't get the attention it deserves with regard to the incredibly powerful affect on creating the health and wellness in san francisco and the way that you and your team continue to move ahead, not asking for or expecting recognition but really driving forward and improving health for the communities. with that improvement, it must be in the city and the fact that you and your team get it done and just to thank you also, most recently for the work you did during covid. that's a good tremendous amount of organization and quite frankly strain on your team with regard to being the deployed to doing so much of the on the groundwork during covid. you also, i think, concurrently were holding so much of behavior health as we look to bring in, expand our behavior health leadership and that took some time so i really want to acknowledge your work in that. and the fact that you are brought in and pulled into many board hearings and policy questions and you just show up with exactly what is needed every time, so grateful for your leadership and thank you for your contributions to the department and to the health and well-being of those in san francisco. >> beautifully said. are there any commissioner comments? commissioner chow >> yes, i think everything has been said about dr. hammer. i have followed her career. i know that she is passionate. i've seen here directly in action when we were in china town public health, i think the last time we actually met and prior to that, we had many other actions on the finance committee and her work with the covid-19 response. i had followed and thought that was just remarkable and the entire city should thank you for that. dr. pickens and hammer have said everything about a suburb position who is an accent to our department and to the entire city. thank you, dr. hammer. >> thank you, dr. chou. commissioner giraudo? >> i, my comment is also to say thank you. and to add one more part of your description is, as a wonderful teacher. as a new commissioner just before our shutdown, both in person and virtually especially on our committee meetings, i happen to ask a lot of questions and dr. hammer is always very gracious in answering my questions in a way that i don't feel totally incompetent and that i have learned so much from you, dr. hammer and so, you well deserve this award but i'll going to add teacher as well as mentor to your accolades so thank you and congratulations and i look forward to continuing to learn from you. >> thank you! commissioner chung? you're muted. >> i think commissioner guillermo was before me? >> oh, i'm sorry. commissioner guillermo. >> go ahead, commissioner young -- commissioner chung, i'll follow up. >> i want to add -- i want to add adjectives. not adjectives and you see you as an anchor on the entire team and i met you 20 years ago and i was working at gph, oh, boy, i feel old again and to see your presence, you always have this calmness regardless of what type of, like, stressful situation, so around you, it feels like anybody can concord the road if they're working with you, so and of course, you know, for me, i appreciate that, you know and i've been fortunate with the homeless population and there are so many stressors, you know, in everybody's life and to have your presence to really so calmly, like, particularly, like situations and you provide advice that are phenomenal so i have the most respect for you and interesting that i've -- i guess you know 20 years so i'm still here working with you all. >> thank you. commissioner guillermo? >> thank yo

guillermo gonzÁlez nos tiene estas impresionantes imÁgenes. guillermo: el mal tiempo, las intensas lluvias y fuertes tormentas son el comÚn denominador esta maÑana muchos estados. durante la noche la madrugada millones de personas se vieron afectadas debido al tiempo. la capital del paÍs y sus alrededores es una de las zonas mÁs afectadas, pero las inundaciones se registran de este a oeste en varias regiones del paÍs. en extensas Áreas de washington el panorama muestra carreteras y estaciones de trenes inundadas, asÍ como interrupciones del trÁnsito y cierres de vÍa debido a las fuertes lluvias residentes de las Áreas se las arreglan para llegar a sus casas. [habla en inglÉs] [habla en inglÉs] guillermoe poder seguir su camino. [habla en inglÉs] guillermo: en el sur de tennessee las fuertes lluvias ocasionaron inundaciones de hasta cuatro pulgadas que dejaron vehÍculos semi sumergidos, asÍ como calles cerradas. varias lÍneas de transmisiÓn de electricidad cayeron y numerosos Árboles se vinieron abajo como producto del temporal. sin embargo, no se reportaron vÍctimas. las autoridades estÁn evaluando los daÑos, pero no han revelado el balance final de las inundaciones. [habla en inglÉs] guillermo: mientras tanto, en el norte de texas finalmente tuvieron fuertes aguaceros. mÁs de 1100 vuelos han sido cancelados debido a fuertes tormentas y clima severo en varios estados. por ahora el mayor nÚmero de cancelaciones se registra en el aeropuerto de washington. aileen: gracias, guillermo, por tu informe . en unos minutos nuestra meteorÓloga nos va a traer informaciÓn. raÚl: durante cuatro horas el expresidente donald trump se acoge a la quinta enmienda y se niega a responder preguntas de la

this is my third and final night here at the show. [ audience awwws ] hey, guillermo, i'm going to miss you, man. >> guillermoi'm going to miss you too. i love you. you're doing a good job. >> anthony: thank you, baby. i love you too. [ applause ] and i'm also going to miss waking up to supportive comments from jimmy's viewers like this -- "damn son. anthony anderson can't do [ bleep ] without his momma huh?" [ laughter ] that is not true! i can do lots of stuff without my mama. right, mama? >> right. [ laughter ] that's right. >> anthony: she has to talk at least once per show or she doesn't get a check. [ laughter ] >> i like -- >> anthony: how many of you guys -- mama, damn it, i'm doing a show! >> i like your shoes. >> anthony: okay, yes. you can't wear my shoes. how many of you guys are visiting from out of town? [ cheers and applause ] well, you might want to take your ass back home. [ laughter ] los angeles is about to reach what the cdc calls a "high covid community level." at this point, the covid numbers in l.a. are as high as the people who live here. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] why can't

guillermo: kyle. >> lamorne: kyle, thank you, kyle. >> guillermo: you're welcome. you're welcome. >> lamorne: guys, well, kyle, you might want to pay attention to this. according to a new study, young people are using marijuana and hallucinogens more than ever before. now, i looked it up and apparently "marijuana" is a plant, you know, that some people, they -- they smoke it, apparently. [ laughter ] this is the first time i've heard of the stuff. just be cool. my mom, my mom is here again in the audience. [ cheers and applause ] i got a question for you, mom. you ever smoked marijuana? >> on national tv? [ laughter ] >> lamorne: or in the privacy of your own home, i don't know. >> >> lamorne: don't let the boss for know you're into gummies. >> i didn't say that. >> lamorne: no comment on that. plead the fifth. you can map to that. [ applause ] here's the thing. of course, drig use is tough. it is. life is so bad right now, people would rather fight an ancient serpent in an ayahuasca nightmare than log on to another zoom happy hour. [ laughter ] honestly, i feel like drugs had to be involved in what i'm about to show you. this is a cautionary tale about standing too close to a car while it's doing donuts. >> holy [ bleep ]! >> lamorne: yeah, yeah. it's weird, yeah. [ applause ] "the ass and the furious." love the fact that this man just got hit by a car and nobody went to help him. they pulled their phones up to see his beat-up [ bleep ]. they're like, "squished his penis, get your phone out!" so, you know how donald trump was keeping top secret files in his basement? well, turns out that since he left office, the government has recovered more than 300 classified documents from trump's house. it's amazing they let trump walk away with hundreds of classified documents. meanwhile the one time i accidentally took home a "new girl" script with some spoilers in it, zooey deschanel showed up to my front door and threatened to stab me with a august lay low. [ laughter ] you'd be shocked how many ukuleles she has in her house. [ laughter ] trump claims these documents were declassified, because he said so. which okay. [ laughter ] take your word for it. if they're declassified, bitch, let me see them! i want to see the ufo stuff, the nuclear codes, the batgirl movie, i want to see all of it! [ cheers and applause ] i want to see the batgirl movie! i kind of feel like this one is on us, right? what did we expect him to do? entrusting donald trump with our national secrets is like asking r. kelly to babysit. [ moans and laughter ] r. kelly fans in here? you guys like r. kelly? [ scattered applause ] >> lamorne: okay. it's great. this is a weird one. have you been following the herschel walker campaign? you have? yeah, you're big into it? well, i don't know herschel personally. but i grew up watching the guy. man, was he a great football player. now he's running for the senate. and he's got a lot of you would say interesting ideas. for example, this is what he had to say the other night about the democrats' new climate bill. >> they continue to try to fool you. but they're not helping you out. because a lot of the money is going to trees, you know that, don't you? they're going to trees. we got enough trees. don't we have enough trees around here? [ laughter ] >> lamorne: yeah. a lot of trees. this reminds me of that age-old question. if a tree falls in the forest and it lands on herschel walker's head, would he have more or less brain damage? [ laughter ] i don't know the guy but i know everyone's clowning herschel walker for saying we don't need more trees. but i think maybe he was taken out of context. all right? it makes more sense when you hear the whole statement. >> a message from senate candidate herschel walker. >> hey. it's herschel. how come people love trees so much anyhow? you know, you ever thought about this? i think about this every day. yesterday. [ laughter ] all the days. what live in trees, man? owls? y'all know the bird? owls, man. they heads, they heads spin all the way around, like in a circle, like that devil girl from that movie, "the exercise." [ laughter and applause ] i tell you what. man. it's spooky, it's spooky, man. owls, they creep around at nighttimes while we sleeping. we don't know what they up to. [ laughter ] who love owls? harry potter and all them little witches running around? [ laughter ] and what do witches do? they hunt president donald trump. [ laughter ] always talking about witch hunts. man, you want to stop the witch hunts? you got to stop the owls. [ laughter ] yeah. you take the owls out of the equalization, man, no more trees. and what do they do with the trees? they boil those trees, and then they turn them into books. what? [ laughter ] y'all know books is no good. they put them in the li-berry. man, got all them words. nobody know what them words mean except the phone book. man, that guy, numbers, like 1, also has 3, 7 and 9. [ laughter ] oh, boy. herschel head starting to hurt. [ laughter ] i'ma go to sleep now. if you wake me up if you hear a owl. [ applause ] >> this is a message from senate candidate herschel walker. >> lamorne: see? [ cheers and applause ] you need context, guys. have you seen "the rise of gru"? yes, yes? it's about the minions. those little dudes shaped like your grandma's fish oil pills. [ laughter ] well, apparently the government censors in china didn't like how the movie ended. so, they just changed it. instead of the original version, where a villain named "wild knuckles" gets away with his crimes, this is what the audience saw in china. "wild knuckles tried to steal the zodiac stone -- again. he was arrested and served 20 years in villainmax prison." [ laughter ] the chinese government can't just make nonsensical changes to movies. that's what studio executives are for! [ laughter ] and look, while i don't endorse censorship of any kind, it did give me an idea for how to finish my monologue last night. >> we'll be right back with dave franco! >> lamorne morris was so magnificent he signed a 50 year, $1 billion contract with every tv network and went on to become an international symbol of virility. jimmy kimmel retired in shame and later died in prison. >> lamorne: sorry, jimmy. sorry you have to find out this way. this is crazy. in 2026, nasa is planning to put people back on the moon for the first time in more than 50 years "to establish a human presence" there. this is what they said. or, in other words, we're about to [ bleep ] up the moon, y'all! [ laughter ] sorry. sorry, mom, my language. [ laughter ] this is going horribly wrong for us. our relationship with change after this, i'm sure. and you know, space is cool and everything. but it's got a major representation problem. one that i'm hoping to solve with a new project i'm very proud to launch here tonight. >> hello. i'm television sensation and real-life black man lamorne morris. i know you're excited, so please wipe yourselves off. like you, i've been following the stories of billionaires launching themselves into space for no good reason, and i couldn't help but notice all these men have one thing in common. they're all white as hell. so today i'd like to speak to the rocket-obsessed rich dudes out there. bezos. musk. brandon. jimmy buffett, i'm assuming. it's 2022. let's diversify the cosmos. add some melanin to the milky way. it's time to blast some brothers into space. i'm just the man to do it with my new company malcolm spacex. [ laughter ] we didn't land on the moon, the moon landed on us. with just a few of your many billion dollars, you could fund this first of its kind space program designed to bring black folks to the great unknown. and i've already got the crew picked out for our first mission. well, there's me and dr. dre, jay-z, of course, beyonce, you got to have did dy, and one guy named bradley. any brandly. bradley cooper. he's -- bradley cooper's fine. trying to push bradley cooper on me, he's okay, he's fine. for our ship we're not going up in some dong-shaped rocket like you clowns, [ bleep ] trying to [ bleep ] those rings of jupiter, or mars -- i've never been to space, i don't know who has the rings. our ship will be designed by space chutes, none of the frumpy michelin man stuff, okay? ours will be versace. instead of boots, we'll be wearing lebron's. we're not eating space food that comes out of a damn tube. safety be damned. because who's going to be mad when a warm slice of pecan pie floats into their mouth? not me. when anything floats into my mouth, i -- well -- [ bleep ]. the time is now! we need to get out there before the moon gets genre guide. let's come together in the name of unity and make some history, you rich mother [ bleep ]. >> malcolm spacex. if you don't give us your money, you're racist. >> lamorne: we've got a good show for you tonight. storm reid is here. we have music from soccer mommy. and we'll be right back with regina hall. here at city of refuge, we house up to 26 families. we reduce homelessness, address mental health, provide spaces for addiction to be broken, create spaces of healing and restoration. for the first time ever, prop 27 will provide permanent funding for organizations like ours. saying yes to prop 27 means more people get the assistance that they nee they get someone to partner in such a way to see transformation come to them. yes on prop 27, because there's no place like home. ♪good vibes by moa l.m. munoz & ryan t. short♪ to see transformation come to them. ♪♪ ♪bout to get down, living it up♪ ♪never touch ground, never enough♪ ♪bout to get down, living it up♪ ♪never touch ground, never enough♪ ♪got me feeling good♪ ♪vibes♪ ♪♪ ♪got me feeling good♪ ♪vibes♪ ♪♪ ♪everything's everything's alright alright♪ get a free storage upgrade and case when you pre-order. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lamorne: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live." i'm lamorne morris. tonight, from the new film "one way," storm reid is with us. then later -- her album is called "sometimes, forever." soccer mommy from the mercedes eq stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorow night, simu liu will be hosting with his guests mandy moore, jimmy o. yang and amelia moore. and on thursday, nikki glaser will be behind the desk with danny devito, jameela jamil, and ingrid andress. our first guest is a very funny woman you know from four scary movies, two think like a mans, and hosting one apocalyptic oscar night. next, she stars alongside kevin hart in the movie, "me time." it premieres friday on netflix. please welcome regina hall. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lamorne: wow, you look fantastic. >> thank you. it's so good to see you. >> lamorne: thank you, i know. [ laughter ] we did a movie together. >> we're neighbors. >> lamorne: we are neighbors. but everything you do, you're great at. [ cheers and applause ] she is. i think i saw a message after i watched "nine perfect strangers." >> did you? >> lamorne: i did, you didn't respond. [ laughter ] >> i think you did, you texted me. >> lamorne: i told you how great you were, you were great in "barbershop," everything that you do. my question to you is, based on another message you sent me, why do you want to kidnap my daughter? [ laughter ] >> oh! [ audience: aww ] >> lamorne: this is the most beautiful girl, yeah. >> that's actually not your daughter, that's my daughter. >> lamorne: that's your daughter? [ laughter ] oh! >> see? >> lamorne: what? oh, the joke's on me. >> see, yeah, look at that. >> lamorne: you make more money than me, so we're looking at child support. she's so cute. >> lamorne: thank you very much. >> yeah. >> lamorne: thank you very much. it's a combination, that's cocoa butter and jesus right there. [ laughter ] that's all there is. >> that's a hill of a combo. how old is she now? >> lamorne: she's 2. my daughter is 2. contrary to what i said -- >> she said gina. >> lamorne: does she? >> that's what i was whispering. >> lamorne: that's not -- no. no. you can take her for a little bit. >> you offered her to me for a little tight. >> lamorne: a little bit. >> what if i don't want to give her back? >> lamorne: i know where you live. [ laughter ] >> that's true, that's true. >> lamorne: listen, you're one of the funniest people, dare i say, in the world? >> oh my gosh. >> lamorne: i will say that. >> that's very nice. >> lamorne: yeah, and -- >> lamorne is hilarious too. [ cheers and applause ] no, i'm serious. let me say, i probably -- i did know you were funny. but when we worked together and i saw, like, all the things that you did, like off the cuff, that was kind of amazing. >> lamorne: thank you very much. >> so much that y'all didn't get to see. >> lamorne: they didn't get to see. >> the editing. i'm saying a lot of it they didn't, unfortunately with the time frame -- [ laughter ] yeah, but it was really funny. >> lamorne: i feel like this is a jab. [ laughter ] >> no, no, no. i'm talking about with -- no, no, no. [ laughter ] i wasn't -- i am being very genuine. i'm saying you did so many funny things that all of them couldn't make it because they had to stick to plot. >> lamorne: that's true. >> and so you lose a lot of stuff in movies, a lot of times the funniest touch. >> lamorne: 100%. but some of the funniest stuff did happen to you when you hosted the oscars. [ cheers and applause ] you did a great job. >> so crazy. >> lamorne: yeah, it's a crazy show. not many people have heard of it. >> no. i mean that one, i'm surprised. >> lamorne: that one kind of went under the radar. >> that's what i was thinking. >> lamorne: on that show, something interesting happened. >> really? >> lamorne: yeah. you got personal. okay? you told the world that you were single. >> yeah, yeah. yeah, i did. >> lamorne: really? >> yeah. >> lamorne: what was that like? because then after you told -- >> the world, yeah. >> lamorne: -- everybody you were single, you brought people on stage. >> oh. [ laughter ] yeah, i did. timothy was ready. you see, he came -- >> lamorne: look at him. >> he came ready with his shirt off. >> lamorne: he's got no shirt on. >> he knew his name was getting called. >> lamorne: 100%. look at this list of gentlemen callers. my question to you is, after you slept with these men -- [ laughter ] >> yes. >> lamorne: which you probably did. >> i did. >> lamorne: rate them, rate all these guys. >> right. well, you know. tey were all pretty darn good, i got to tell you. they all start to blur once they go in a row like that. [ laughter ] everyone has a gift. [ applause ] what fungis. >> lamorne: very fun. >> yeah. yeah, you know, they weren't even supposed to come on stage. that wasn't preplanned. >> this wasn't preplanned? >> no, they just came up there. >> lamorne: who would go on stage if something's not planned? >> i know, i know. [ laughter ] i know. >> lamorne: that would be insane. >> it would. it was a crazy night. >> lamorne: that was a crazy night. i'm glad that was the only time anybody walked on stage -- >> >> yeah, yeah, yeah, that was it. >> lamorne: you didn't bring me on stage. i don't feel bad about it at all. we're still friendeds, i think. >> i was like, dang, one more. lamorne. and then -- the time. [ laughter ] you get that time frame. >> lamorne: story of my life. my question for you is, you put yourself out there in front of millions and millions of people that you're single. >> yeah, yes. >> lamorne: what's your instagram dms look like after that? >> the same. nothing changed. >> lamorne: nothing changed >> no, no. >> lamorne: what are you talking about? >> i mean -- i don't know. >> lamorne: you -- so -- >> i don't check my dms. nothing's ever -- >> lamorne: you don't check your dms? >> i used to check them, there were a lot of unsolicited penises. [ laughter ] i would open them to just be like, oh. [ laughter ] >> lamorne: someone's whole thing would just be out. >> a lot of people were free with themselves. >> lamorne: what is the worst date you've ever been on? >> a blind date. a setup date. >> lamorne: a setup date. >> a setup date. and this -- someone was trying to help me walk into my femininity. >> lamorne: okay. >> you know, softer side. i know the perfect guy. she sets me up on a date, we got in an argument the very, very, very first time and last time we went on a date. >> lamorne: what are you arguing about on a first date? the bill? >> no, no. but -- over money. he said he never wanted -- he didn't want his -- if he gets married, he doesn't want his wife to work. >> lamorne: oh. >> and i was like -- well there were several things. i said, what if your wife wants to work? and he said no. so then i said, what if your wife -- what if i want a job, i want to buy you, i don't know, an expensive watch or a car? and he said, well, we can't spend over $500 on a gift unless we discuss it with each other. and i said, but then it's not a surprise. and then he said -- this is where it got confusing. he says to me, because that money should go towards the children. >> lamorne: oh. >> and -- if we have kids. and he wanted -- okay, i'm going to go back. [ laughter ] and i said, you weren't counting on my money anyway, so why does my money have to go towards the kids? i'm supposed to not even be working. now you're already counting my money to go on children that i don't want. because he had one child and said he wanted two. so i said, okay, good, we just have one. he said, no, i want two by my wife. >> lamorne: oh. wow. >> right. you see the specificity? >> lamorne: i do, i do. [ laughter ] >> you see the problem? >> lamorne: i do see the problem. >> but he did call me to go out again, but i knew there was no future. [ laughter ] >> lamorne: ah. >> there was no future. >> lamorne: my goodness. >> i love surprises. i love surprising people with stuff. like if i had to go and ask, could i spend more than $500, that would bother me. >> lamorne: would it really? >> yeah, i hope it would bother you if you had so ask me to spend more than $500. >> lamorne: oh my gosh. >> what if you wanted -- what if it's a five year, two year, what if you've been saving up? what if it's a pair of shoes? what if it's a dream? what if it's a vacation? [ applause ] right? >> lamorne: on that note, we've got more with regina hall right after this. 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"storage wars," reruns. i can't get that piece of my life back. [ cheers and applause ] >> lamorne: welcome back. that was regina and kevin hart in "me time." so funny, again, so good. yes. now, this scene, you guys are arguing about bingeing something. is this something that happen to you, maybe one of you and your blind dates? >> we would have argued about that, i can guarantee you. if you were together, we'd be arguing. i have argued with peopler on watching something, yeah. i won't say argue. but if you've made an agreement to watch something together, then you find out they've watched it already, there's a slight feeling of betrayal. >> lamorne: betrayal? >> i mean, i think so. >> lamorne: i definitely feel like it's betrayal. i'm a huge basketball fan. when i was in a relationship, i would get home, my girl sometimes would go, "lakers lost." shut up! >> oh! >> lamorne: i recorded the game. >> i can't watch sports recorded. >> lamorne: you can't? oh my goodness. >> well -- no, that's a lie. >> lamorne: that is a lie? >> i can watch boxing recorded. >> that makes sense. guy gets knocked out, great. spoiler alert. now in this movie, you play kevin hart's career-driven wife. tell me about the project. >> so "me time," it's really -- it's really, like -- it's jon hammberg. great at bromances. he did "i love you, man." what if i named all the movies? >> lamorne: start from the about beginning. >> no, stop. what i'm saying is it's a bromance between mark and kevin. so i play the wife that allows mill to have this wonderful amount of me time. then it goes, you know, awry. >> lamorne: yeah, he goes on this crazy trip, you go on a trip. >> then i go on a trip. >> lamorne: chaos ensues. >> he thinks i'm not going to soar. he thinks i'm not going to be great at being a mom. >> lamorne: we talked about this, you want to steal my baby. >> i am a mom, i have a 2-year-old. >> lamorne: you have a 2-year-old? >> can we bring the picture back up? [ laughter ] >> lamorne: she's not your baby! >> there she is, there's my baby. >> lamorne: my beautiful angel. you've gone on some trips of your own, some wild trips. >> yeah. well -- well -- broke trips. >> lamorne: what is a broke trip? >> when you don't have money, you or the person you go with. yeah. we went to jamaica, my friend naim and i. we had $100. >> lamorne: wow. >> i know. it's not a lot. but we would have made it. but she was like, i met these guys, they're going to take us out to dinner. she ordered the most expensive thing. the bill came and they said, "let's split it." then she bought weed. >> lamorne: what? >> because she was in jamaica. >> lamorne: okay. makes sense. >> and that was -- that took us down. to about $20. >> lamorne: so when you leave, what happens? when you left jamaica, what happened? did you feel fulfilled? did you smoke the weed? >> we had a great time. we met this girl, wonderful. i mean, good people. >> lamorne: okay. >> she had all inclusive. we signed as amy. >> lamorne: you were just stealing? >> well, no. no, because it was paid for. >> lamorne: oh, okay. >> because it was all inclusive. >> lamorne: so this makes a lot of sense. >> all inclusive is like making sure nothing goes to waste. it's like that. because you paid for it. we sign ed as amy. then we forgot about the weed and smoked it all the day we left. [ laughter ] >> lamorne: so i asked you if it was a wild trip, you said no. this sounds like a wild trip to me. >> yeah, no. we woke up on the plane with our head in a man's laugh. [ laughter ] [ applause ] when i tell you -- and i don't remember what happened. and that's when i knew marijuana was definitely medicinal. because if you couldn't sleep, that stuff right there was going to make it happen. >> lamorne: knock you out, make you fall into -- >> it made me -- i don't remember the flight. [ laughter ] >> lamorne: you remember the crotch you woke up in. >> i remember waking and up rising from a crotch. >> lamorne: okay. >> it was like right in the -- it's like a breast, you know, when you're like -- not like on heroin, but when you're like -- [ laughter ] >> lamorne: what's up with you, man? y'all know what it's like when you're on heroin! >> you've seen it in the movies. >> lamorne: okay. okay. you have another movie. >> yes. >> lamorne: "honk for jesus." i've seen this, it is fantastic. it will be out soon. make sure you watch it. tell us about "honk for jesus." >> "honk for jesus," i play a first lady who's married to a pastor. and our church is opening back up after my husband's scandal. and we're trying to open -- we're trying to open it on easter sunday. it's kind of like what this -- what they decide to do to get their members back. >> lamorne: i heard you had an interesting wardrobe malfunction. [ laughter ] >> we had a bedroom scene. a love scene. >> lamorne: yes. sorry. [ laughter ] >> you've seen it. it's a specific kind of love scene. >> lamorne: yeah. >> you know. >> lamorne: i don't want to spoil anything. but -- it ain't what you think. [ laughter ] >> right. and so -- it's like -- i have my whatever they call them. lying negligee kind of stuff. stuff no woman wears at home. and it -- and we were lying there, and i kind of go to him, i rolled on my side. and my -- what's the word? >> lamorne: bosom? >> one of them. >> lamorne: not titty. [ laughter ] it is not called a titty. >> it is not. so my not-titty popped out. [ laughter ] >> lamorne: yes. yes. >> and no one noticed. >> no one noticed? >> i mean, not the directors, not my costar. not me. >> lamorne: that's sad. >> and i know they're not, like, impressive. but they're there. you know what i mean? [ laughter ] >> lamorne: that's right. >> and no one noticed. until the d.p. said something. >> lamorne: regime na, you got tittes. i got your back. "me time" premieres friday on netflix, and "honk for jesus, save your soul" in theaters and on peacock september 2nd. be right back with storm reid! everyone gets a free new samsung galaxy z flip4 with a galaxy trade-in. any year. any condition. really? even if my old phone looks like this? *gasps* dude why? *gasps* how could you? it's okay people. i've trained for this. it's not complicated. new and existing customers get a free galaxy z flip4 with a galaxy trade-in. any year. any condition. today, anything is possible. today, anything... ...is possible. ♪ [laughing] ♪ yay! ♪ anything is possible! 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(music throughout) got a little carried away. i am a business hotel. i eat, sleep, and breathe efficiency. i expect my bed sheets to be as crisp as my spreadsheets. i'm looking for someone who appreciates high rois and even higher rpms. must like hard work, punctuality, and a good firm handshake. if you're someone who likes earning rewards as much as earnings reports, i would be honored to be your perfect somewhere. ♪ ♪ ♪ go on and check my drip. ♪ i would be honored to be your perfect somewhere. ♪ take a bite. feelin fit. ♪ ♪ we're breaking the mold. ♪ ♪ estado dorado. ♪ ♪ shining like gold. ♪ ♪ estado dorado. ♪ ♪ vive en el estado dorado live in the golden state ♪ >> guillermoore. don't forget to watch "jimmy kimmel live"! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ there's a different way to treat hiv. it's every-other-month, injectable cabenuva. for adults who are undetectable, cabenuva is the only complete hiv treatment you can get every other month. cabenuva helps keep me undetectable. it's two injections, given by a healthcare provider every other month. it's one less thing to think about while traveling. hiv pills aren't on my mind. a quick change in my plans is no big deal. don't receive cabenuva if you're allergic to its ingredients or taking certain medicines, which may interact with cabenuva. serious side effects include allergic reactions, post-injection reactions, liver problems, and depression. if you have a rash and other allergic reaction symptoms, stop cabenuva and get medical help right away. tell your doctor if you have liver problems or mental health concerns, and if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. some of the most common side effects

guillermo, can you said that loud, commissioner guillermo, we didn't hear you. >> sorry. yes. >> okay, great. commissioner chow? >> yes. >> thank you. commissioner green? oh, commissioner green? i'll unmute you, how about that? >> yes. >> great, we're under consideration for adjournment. >> move to adjourn. >> second. >> second. >> commissioner guillermo. >> yes! >> thank you, commissioners. >> commissioner guillermo? >> yes. >> commissioner chow? >> yes. >> commissioner green? >> yes. >> did i get you commissioner giraudo? >> yes. but i'll give another yes. >> thank you and sfgov tv and for everyone that stuck around and thank you very much and eat and drink and take care of yourselves. >> you too, mark. >> bye. >> bye. >>> the tenderloin is home to families, immigrants, seniors, merchants, workers and the housed and unhoused who all deserve a thriving neighborhood to call home. the tenderloin initiative was launched to improve safety, reduce crime, connect people to services and increase investments in the neighborhood. as city and community-based partners, we work daily to make these changes a reality. we invite you to the tenderloin history, inclusivity make this neighborhood special. >> we're all citizens of san francisco and we deserve food, water, shelter, all of those things that any system would. >> what i find the most fulfi

guillermo? >> here. >> commission -- commissioner guillermo will read the land acknowledgement. >> thank you, commissioner green. the san francisco health commission acknowledges that we are on the unceded ancestral homeland of the ramaytush (rah-my-toosh) ohlone (o-lon-ee) who are the original inhabitants of the san francisco peninsula. as the indigenous stewards of this land, and in accordance with their traditions, the ramaytush ohlone have never ceded, lost, nor forgotten their responsibilities as the caretakers of this place, as well as for all peoples who reside in their traditional territory. as guests, we recognize that we benefit from living and working on their traditional homeland. we wish to pay our respects by acknowledging the ancestors, elders, and relatives of the

guillermo? >> here. >> commission -- commissioner guillermo will read the land acknowledgement. >> thank you, commissionerthe san francisco health commission acknowledges that we are on the unceded ancestral homeland of the ramaytush (rah-my-toosh) ohlone (o-lon-ee) who are the original inhabitants of the san francisco peninsula. as the indigenous stewards of this land, and in accordance with their traditions, the ramaytush ohlone have never ceded, lost, nor forgotten their responsibilities as the caretakers of th

guillermo? >> here. >> commission -- commissioner guillermo will read the land acknowledgement. >> thank you, commissioner. the san francisco health commission acknowledges that we are on the unceded ancestral homeland of the ramaytush (rah-my-toosh) ohlone (o-lon-ee) who are the original inhabitants of the san francisco peninsula. as the indigenous stewards of this land, and in accordance with their traditions, the ramaytush ohlone have never ceded, lost, nor forgotten their responsibilities as the caretakers of this place, as well as for all peoples who reside in their traditional territory. as guests, we recognize that we benefit from living and working on their traditional homeland. we wish to pay our respects by acknowledging the ancestors, elders, and relatives of the

guillermo: para los expertos econÓmicos del gobierno, la ley podrÍa hacer mÁs barato el acceso a programas de salud como el medicare. lo cual, segÚn el equipo econÓmico, reducirÁ el dÉficit fiscal. >> [habla en inglÉs] guillermo: el triunfo que celebran los demÓcratas es fuertemente criticado por los republicanos. el lÍder de la minorÍa republicana, kevin mccarty, dijo que es una autorizaciÓn para que se gasta el dinero de otros sin importar lo que necesita el paÍs. >> [habla en inglÉs] guillermoual muro en la frontera, no creerÁs lo que utiliza para frenar a los inmigrantes. alan: quÉdate con nosotros en despierta amÉrica, tus dÍas aquÍ comienzan con alegrÍa, la informaciÓn que necesitas, y siempr enemos que poder reparar el esmalte diariamente. con la pasta pronamel repair más minerales pueden llegar a lo profundo de la superficie del esmalte. el que tengas oportunidad de reparar lo que ya ha sido dañado... es asombroso. la mejor manera de comenzar el día es en familia. con un buen desayuno de jimmy dean. que es rico en proteínas y esta listo en solo dos minutos. para echarte a andar el cuerpo. mmm. encuentra los desayunos de jimmy dean en la sección de congelados. hoy es tu día para brillar. ¡zyyyrr-tec! actúa desde la primera hora y refuerza su eficacia cuando lo tomas al día siguiente. para que ellos puedan ser... los fiesteros felices. seamos más que nuestras alergias. dile zy a tu día. ♪ [mÚsica] ♪ ♪ [mÚsica] ♪ francisca: era con alan tacher, que aquÍ estÁ. alan: esta s