i think so. >> ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. see who hearts cupid's arrow will strike tonight. go ahead and ask your first question, heather. >> okay. contestant number one, what's your idea of a romantic evening? >> oh. how you doing, girl? [ laughter ] my idea of a romantic evening is any one that ends with us getting it on. ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. no, no. i'm kidding. but, i'm serious. [ laughter ] our day would start off with you coming to pick me up at my auntie joan's house. we go get some curly fries after we talk to my auntie. i check them feet out and make sure your toes are right. [ laughter ] they got to be right. if they pass the test -- if they pass the toe test then we go back home, i.e., to my auntie joan's house. and do we what we do. ha, ha, ha. intercourse. >> ha, ha! [ laughter ] wow! interesting answer, contestant number one. okay, heather, let's move on to your next question. >> okay. contestant number two, if i were an ice cream cone, what flavor would i be and what would you do to me? >> well, first off, i'd h

ha, ha, ha! ha, ha, ha,!, ha, ha. >> jon: i think the audience can actually still hear us. >> what are you talking, they can't hear us at all. what? (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> that proves nothing, it's just a random bottle throwing it happens every time i laugh that way. >> jon: look at them now. >> not to worry, jon. because i brought my escape dome. unfortunately, there is only room in it for one. (laughter) >> jon: are you still in the regular dome, john hodgman, everybody. we'll be right back. >> jon: welcome back to the show. we've been talking a lot lately about the poor. what kind of a scam are they running on them? how can we let them know that this incredibly watered down graphy train is coming to an end. the answer as always is in florida. aasif mandvi has more. >> reporter: poor people, they spend their days protected. luxor yating in the social safety net, but who will protect us from these drug adeled moochers. fortunately some courageous politicians in florida have answered the call. >>

ha, ha, ha! ha, ha, ha,!, ha, ha. >> jon: i think the audience can actually still hear us. >> what are you talking, they can't hear us at all. what? (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> that proves nothing, it's just a random bottle throwing it happens every time i laugh that way. >> jon: look at them now. >> not to worry, jon. because i brought my escape dome. unfortunately, there is only room in it for one. (laughter) >> jon: are you still in the regular dome, john hodgman, everybody. we'll be right back. ♪[swing music plays] ♪do you want to get a date? ♪we can write a serenade ♪if you want to get a date ♪we can do a serenade ♪if you're looking for romance ♪we can do some song and dance ♪come on now and take a chance ♪who do you want to bring along ♪we'll write her or him a song ♪ go to heineken/facebook ♪ check out heineken/facebook >> jon: welcome back to the show. we've been talking a lot lately about the poor. what kind of a scam are they running on them? how can we let them know that this incredibly wat

ha, ha, ha! ha, ha, ha,!, ha, ha. >> jon: i think the audience can actually still hear us. >> what are you talking, they can't hear us at all. what? (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> that proves nothing, it's just a random bottle throwing it happens every time i laugh that way. >> jon: look at them now. >> not to worry, jon. because i brought my escape dome. unfortunately, there is only room in it for one. (laughter) >> jon: are you still in the regular dome, john hodgman, everybody. regular dome, john hodgman, everybody. we'll be right back. we want to protect the house. regular dome, john hodgman, everybody. we'll be right back. right. but... home security systems can be really expensive. so to save money, we actually just adopted a rescue panther. i think i'm goin-... shhh! we find that we don't need to sleep that much. there's an easier way to save. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. w three course italian dinner for $12.95. start with all the homemade soup or salad and bread

, ha, ha, ha ha, ha, ha, ha ah, ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ [ rapid laughing ] free-ash. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] walter kump, thank you. stick around. we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i used to not travel very much, but then i discovered hotwire. now, i use all my vacation days. i can afford to visit my folks for the holidays. and reconnect with my girlfriends in vegas. because i get ridiculously low prices on all my trips. you see, when hotels have unsold rooms, they use hotwire to fill them, so i get 4-star hotels for up to half off. now i can afford a romantic trip to new orleans. hi honey! ♪ h-o-t-w-i-r-e... ♪ hotwire.com ♪ $5 ♪ $5 footlong [ male announcer ] now through the 29th, get any regular footlong™ as a $5 footlong™! hurry in! subway. eat fresh®. [ male announcer ] for a better-looking tomorrow. vicks nyquil cold & flu. the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, best sleep you ever got with a cold...medicine. [ deep breath ] ♪ 1, 2, 3, 4 ♪ [ laughter ] [ male announcer ] vicks

, ha, ha, ha ha, ha, ha, ha ah, ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ [ rapid laughing ] free-ash. k you very much. [ cheers and applause ] walter kump, thank you. stick around. we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] when it comes to eczema, ordinary lotions aren't made to treat the itch and irritation. so it can feel like you're using nothing at all. but new neosporin® eczema essentials™ with its unique relipd™ formula is different. it stops itch, soothes irritation, and helps restore the skin barrier. it's clinically shown to restore visibly healthier skin in three days. for everyday eczema care, new clinically shown neosporin® eczema essentials™. discover the difference. go online to save three dollars. we tweet from here while we are on the road. we just be on our blackberry, yo, we're playing this, we're playing that. keeping our fans up to date. we have this thing just keeping us on track. we need tools... not toys. [ male announcer ] blackberry bold. be bold. [ male announcer ] blackberry bold. ashlee! ashlee! ash

ha, ha, ha! ha, ha, ha,!, ha, ha. >> jon: i think the audience can actually still hear us. >> what are you talking, they can't hear us at all. what? (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> that proves nothing, it's just a random bottle throwing it happens every time i laugh that way. >> jon: look at them now. >> not to worry, jon. because i brought my escape dome. unfortunately, there is only room in it for one. (laughter) >> jon: are you still in the regular dome, john hodgman, everybody. we'll be right back. what do when you combine the home depot with this weekend? the cure for cabin fever. because with... get-it-done savings on everything we need... ...we can turn this weekend into a fresh floor... ...or an updated bathroom... ...or a brand new look. so let's hit those orange aisles - and make today the day - we make a big difference - no matter how big our budget. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. get more project for your money - like this valencia vanity, now just 199 bucks. >> j

ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha ha h-a-h-a i say, jimmy fallon! [ laughter ] i am out of here. later, sucker! : stephen! >> jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah? this is crazy. why are we fighting? i mean, it's just ice cream. and after all, proceeds from both of our flavors go to charity. it shouldn't matter whose they buy. >> you're right, jimmy. it doesn't matter who wins, now that i won. [ laughter ] let's join up the two halves of our friendship amulet and be friends again. >> jimmy: i wish i could, but i don't have my half anymore. >> what? but that was pure gold colored plastic from china -- town. what happened to it, jimmy? >> jimmy: after we became eternal enemies for six months, i got so upset, that i drove over to the ben & jerry's plant, and in a fit of rage and passion, hurled my amulet into a mixing vat. now it's inside a random carton of "late night" snack ice cream somewhere. >> what? what? well, we have to find it, jimmy. everyone within the sound of my voice, run out to a store and buy as many pints of "late night" snack as you can. [ laughter ] everyone buy jimmy fallon's "lat

ha ha ha. man: hit him back, sam. hit him back. excuse me, honey. i've got to go. um...a little personal note -- my grandma, who lives in virginia beach, virginia, is turning 90 years old this year. [ audience cheers ] thank you, thank you. it's not so much a tribute but i want to tell a true story. i went shopping for a birthday present for my grandma and i was realizing how really hard it is to shop for old people. you know what i'm talking about? they've already got it or they used to have it and they got tired of it or they just don't know how to work it, you know? but then i saw this tape and i discovered the perfect gift for my grandma, and she won't even need directions. [ dance music playing ] woman: haa ha ha. oh! right here now? right here? go away, everybody. ooh! all right, the videos have been shown. right now it's time to see somebody jump up and down and go nuts. one of the following clips is going to make someone $10,000. will it be "lose-a-bago," sent in by brian and lori pelland from snohomish, washington? john: in hindsight the yorkins regretted picking up that flaming hitchhiker. dad was thrilled that the firemen showed up so quick because they salvaged enough of the camper for him to jump back in and make up some time. go, dad, go! how about "cocky raccoon," sent in by mike and cheryl ingle from greenville, california? [ dog barking ] or how about "swingers," sent in by al fuentes -- absolutely no relation -- michael garcia, russell prine, and craig love from orlando, florida? whoo! now, that will work. that might work. okay. those are the choices. now it's up to you to pick a winner, okay? losers, don't blame me. i had absolutely nothing to do with it. are you all ready

ha hha hha ha ha ha ha ha karen: i thinthe rld is unfair toomen solutely. i think u'reight. because women catgrow musta. do you want to ow aeard? well, i mit wa to be a tugboatapta or a.. an ayallah well, you'd make a ry gd ayatollah. but men can do things m can. women can have bies. yes, but'd rher have a mustae than, and you can't do that th a baby. aaaaah! ow! be ve told you not to re tt in the house! don't shoot things at pple! can i gr a brd when i'm older, i'sureou can grow a beard.it'e ackbrd used to put firerks it, and caerinwheels, why did heave- and the sparklers d thmatches and 'll be like... ( exosionoises )... the'd be an element danr in that. i thk that might raise a f health & safety issues if you h really long beard ke bckbeard, it be really cool beuse u could put littlenima in there, so wnever you had an emy wking up to you, a little ferret woulpop out of d anbite him. and then igoesthwuk! tv:brinon the wall! ( owd eering ) ring on the wall"? likehis. nessa feltz being t by real wall, thatoulde entertainment. it'sot every day you get tt stuck in a rlly tight

ha ha ha ha ha! down at the market. um, ha ha! i know. yeah, actually, i was at the market shopping, doing my sunday morning routine and i went by their booth, and i was looking for the right goat cheese to feature here at grange and basically to become our, you know, true local cheese. >> soon after we arrived, chef tuohy came in as a customer and started to purchase our product, and he came for many weeks. probably 3 or 4 or 5 weeks. um, we didn't know who he was. he was just an individual, just another customer. and he was, uh, very complimentary, of course, on our product, and then he introduced himself, uh, who he was and that they were starting the new restaurant downtown. >> sourcing local ingredients has always been at the top of michael's list in terms of planning out his menus at grange, but getting to visit the farm, make his own cheese, and meet the goats behind all of it, well, that was way too much to ignore. and thus a farm friendship was born. >> and so these are the ones that, um, you ordered, that'll go back to the grange

ha ha ha hey ♪ ♪ there ain't never been one quite like clint there's really only one clint ♪ ♪ but i really did like lee van cleef sure did really like lee what ever happened to ♪ ♪ lee van cleef what ever happened to lee ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ we still get a kick out of watchin' clint ♪ ♪ we all get a kick out of clint ha

ha ha ha hey ♪ ♪ there ain't never been one quite like clint there's really only one clint ♪ ♪ but i really did like lee van cleef sure did really like lee what ever happened to ♪ ♪ lee van cleef what ever happened to lee ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ we still get a kick out of watchin' clint ♪ ♪ we all get a kick out of clint haet about lee ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: primus! check out their album "green naugahyde"! visit latenightwithjimmyfallon.com for an exclusive bonus performance. my thanks to zooey dechanel, chris hardwick, primus once again! and the greatest band in late night, the roots, right there everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for carson daly, thank you for watching. have a great night, hope to see you tomorrow! good night! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

ha ha ha! it's been a lot of fun through the years, hasn't it? >> yeah, it sure has. we've been in this market a long time. >> a long timd. we've done a lot of nice things. >> and we've caused a little commotion >> a little trouble we've gotten in, with both the tenants and the customers... >> and the customers. >> and the wives. >> oh, yeah, the wives. >> we won't--ha ha ha! you know, actually at one time, back many years ago, they used topen up at 6:00, and then they changed it to 7:00. and now it opens when you get there. heh! we actually get there sometimes at midnight, 11:30, and customers will be waiting 'cause they want to get their flowers. and they maybe come from a long distance, so they want to get them, and they want t beat the traffic. >> on@e at the shop, the flowers are pampered and processed abd placed in a vase. it's been a mere 10 hours since this larkspur left the farm in pescadero. it n@w heads out the door to brighten someone's day. california-grown goodness at its best. i'm dennis newhall for "california country." >> that concludes today's tour of

ha ha! ha hha ha! [snortg] 9 judge terri l. jackson.cruiting prospective civil grand jurors. our goal is to develop a pool of candidates that is inclusive of all segments of our city's population. >> the jury conducts investigations and publishes findings and recommendations. these reports them become a key part of the civic dialog on how we can make san francisco a better place to live and work. >> i want to encourage anyone that is on the fence, is considering participating as a grand jury member, to do so. >> so if you are interested in our local city government and would like to work with 18 other enthusiastic citizens committed to improving its operations, i encourage you to consider applying for service on the civil grand jury. >> for more information, visit the civil grand jury website at sfgov.org/courts or call

ha ha! ha hha ha! [snortg] impossible. announcer: when you open a book, you can explore new lands...bird screeches] meet new friends, and discover new adventures. there are amazing possibilities when you open your mind to reading. [roar] you can log onto he library of congress website and let the journey begin.

these are the breaks don't push me because i'm close to the edge i'm trying not ♪ ♪ to lose my head ha ha ha haing under express yourself i'm expressing ♪ ♪ with my full capabilities and now i'm living in correctional facilities how low can you go? ♪ ♪ death row what a brother knows i wanna rock right now i'm rob base ♪ ♪ and i came to get down i'm not internationally known but i'm known to rock a ♪ ♪ microphone ♪ so let's go cause -- >> bring it jimmy. ♪ it takes two to make a thing go right it takes two to make it out yo-yo yo-yo baby pa ♪ ♪ yeah, you, come here, give me a kiss better make it fast or else i'm gonna get pissed ♪ ♪ push it push it push it good push it ♪ ♪ push it real good [ cheers ] ♪ ♪ all right stop! ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ engine engine engine number nine on the new york transit line ♪ ♪ if my train falls off the track pick it up, pick it up pick it up ♪ ♪ insane in the membrane insane in the brain insane in the membrane crazy insane, got no brain ♪ ♪ break it down ♪ ♪ put your hands up put your hands up let me clear my throat oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ have mercy babe i hope you don't mind

ha ha ha ha! ok. kendrick: independence is an important goal. let's make sure we don't overprotect children with special needs. be reasonable, but provide as many chances as you can for her to do things for herself. decide what you think is most important for the child to learn and concentrate on teaching those skills. but after a fair trial at something new, if she can't seem to learn it, drop the activity without scolding her and try it again in a few months. and of course, don't forget to look for opportunities to show the child you're pleased with her and that you like her. and remember, you have the option of consulting a specialist if nothing seems to work. specialists can frequently offer valuable suggestions and support. when you have children in a class who are, some of them, developmentally delayed, some of them are considered normal development, and some of them, i suppose, who are doing better than that-- we consider, well, they might be gifted; we're not sure yet-- but you want to challenge a child wherever he is, so it really doesn'

nobody's built over lee we still get a kick out of ♪ ♪ watchin' clint we all get a kick out of clint ha ha hatill get a kick out of watchin' clint ♪ ♪ wl

ha ha ha)""so this is gabriel's adoption day, and it was a really happy day.""and this is toby's first mother's day with uss"vannie pnd marita showed me snapshots oo their lives togethhr as a haster of a t century. "from the first day he loved his brother so much." for many years, they knew but as aalesbian couple, they haa doubts about whether it would happpn. "i remember vividly when i was vangie's friend, we had a friendship and she came out to me and she cried and amoog the many things she said, and one of the things she said i'll probably not have children. "ittwas agonizing for us hurting a child by bringing him into this life? they're going to have interracial pprents, they're going to have lesbian parents." after a decade of introspection, vangie and marita adopted their irst child."this is the day our ffrst son gabriee was adopted. we were just really happy! we were a family." six months later:"that was crazy, just like it would be for anyone, to receive a call that your child'ssbaby brother was born, do you want him? and within hours you have 2 babies!" and for a short 4 1/2 month-long window when it was legal for gays and 3 lesbians to marry in california. vangie an

ha ha ha ♪ ♪ i can't think of a thing that i won't do what you wan' do ♪ ♪ when you come and i get my hands on you wait 'til i get you girl ♪ ♪ i'm curtis mayfield marvin the new bobby womack 2012 freak baby i'm all that ♪ ♪ the touchin' and the teasin' the pleasure's the reason i'm sure she'll be open ♪ ♪ from the -- or how i say a line and it stimulates her mind ♪ ♪ my sense of humor i make her smile while passin' time ♪ ♪ it's sexual it's not perverted or obscene ♪ ♪ the foreplay we play until i touch her 'til she ♪ ♪ cash rules the shortie she's something out a dream half j-lo half jessica biel she in between ♪ ♪ got that island girl swag she dutty wine when we get back to the spot that is mine ♪ ♪ see how i switch gears her bra gone it's on it's showtime it's my turn to perform ♪ ♪ leave the lights on while i get it i got it good ♪ ♪ she sayin' she love my show i'm sayin' i knew she would ♪ ♪ you gon' get it you gon' get it i got a plan for you i got it all planned girl ♪ ♪ girl it's on 'til the 'mon when you come through haands all over you ♪ ♪ i want you darling ♪ if you think you're lonely now ♪ ♪ wait until you tonight ♪ wait until tonight girl ♪ wait until tonight ♪ ♪ when you need me the most ♪ i'll be right there for you tonight baby ♪

you see they're lowering the spider down, scaring people, ha-ha-ha, everyone is smiling and laughing.e guy who got pranked wasn't too happy. [ bleep ]. >> hey. sorry, man. not funny. >> mad. then he notices the camera. >> hey, come here. come here. dude, that's not right. come here. >> you come here. >> no. take it off. delete it. >> nope. >> i will call the columbus police department right now. >> guy is visibly upset and then he leaves all of his stuff here and confronts the guy behind the camera. >> you invaded my private space. dude, is this some kind of project for a class? who is your professor? you don't know who your professor is? >> this goes on for a while before the guy eventually says -- >> you're obviously young punks. >> my question to you guys is, did this guy react in the wrong way or is this guy justified for being mad? >> he made the situation worse by getting all up in their face instead of just saying hey, you know, what you don't have my permission to use that. >> i think it embarrassed him that it scared him so badly. and of course now with social media and youtu