ha ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha! eh... i don't think i'm gonna fit in there, either. you can sit on top and push with your arms. hey! oh! hello! hello...there. where did you go? uh, i was, you know, gonna go to rome -- roam around. [rome] uh, come with me. i can show you. okay. not you. get back. get back! i show you roma and the làgo di bracciano, where i grow up. okay? yes. very nice. uh, hurry up, before my father sees. marie: robert! i don't understand. what is this? this is luck. toots, over here. stefania: ciao! ciao! [ horn honks ] look at this. robert gets the gelato girl, and i get hosed down by mrs. mussolini. marie: oh, look at that! debra: and the colors of it -- this is beautiful. frank: this is somethin'! look at the -- look at the fountain. oh! ha! raymond, i can't believe we're here! these are the spanish steps. spanish? i knew we were walkin' too long. and the reason they're called that -- okay, sorry i asked. we're goin' up. do we have to, really? ray, this is the spanish steps! where's the spanish elevator? i'll go with you, honey. thank you, marie.

ha ha ha! ha ha ha! you know they're gonna start expecting me to grow a big belly. e a very low sperm count. yes, yes. there you go. of course, once we don't have a baby, and they do, we're back to square one, friend-wise. who cares? friends just keep you away from tv. oh, look. someone's car broke down. should we pull over and help 'em out? yeah. they look nice. actually, they look very nice. young couple... about our age... well-dressed... miata, 2-seater, means no kids. let's make some friends. fight back fast with tums. trusted relief that goes to work in seconds. nothing works faster. ♪ tum, tum tum tum tums! trusted relief that goes to work in seconds. rock, ja? hey, we just went to this great steak house tonight. we should all go sometime. yeah. yeah, uh, there's a gas station right up there. that one? you don't want their gas. it makes your engine knock. i'll take you to my place. hey, when we go to that steak house, you gotta watch out for the guy with the big pepper mill. hey, what's the deal with those anyway? what's up with that? captioning made possible

ha ha! ha ha ha ha! hey, y-you know who i loved when i was a kid? the singin' nun.eah, yeah. me, too. yeah. but only for her music. hey, hey, you remember that song? ah, yeah. ♪ dominique, nique, nique [song continues in french] hey. kids in bed? yeah. yeah. you should've stayed up. what a great movie. oh, i've seen it a thousand times. it's almost like the hills really are alive... and i like it when julie andrews does this. you're very talented. yeah. you like that? hey. how about this? [high-pitched voice] ♪ dominique, nique, nique... [knock knock] hey.

>> ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! -- >> andrew, i gotta tell you-- your laugh scares the [bleep] out of me. >> because it's a farce. what neil did was reach down and push the dog back, at which point, the dog bit him. >> it sounds like he was just trying to stop the dog from running in the street. >> i was horrified. why--why would you do that? >> as andrew's ranting and raving, neil walks in. instead of andrew using some sort of decorum or discretion or shutting his mouth, he continues. he actually gets even more amped up. >> and then he comes up to my office yelling and screaming at me that i should have shown more compassion. >> but i think when that happens, i think what people are looking for is some level of sympathy. >> that's not--again, my staff has to function a right way. >> i know. >> when neil started working here, and i told him to this-- to his face--i had big hopes for him. >> when you say that to somebody, "i had high hopes for you..." >> neil did not hear that from me until we had a huge argument in t

ha ha! ha ha! ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha! ok, clifford, you can stop rolling now. woof! [excited chatter] [chattering excitedly and shouting] woof woof woof! helping can be really fun. uh-huh, and i can think of some other things that make you special, too, big guy. me, too! you're special in lots of ways, clifford. so are you, t-bone. i am? unhh! how am i special, clifford? well... you're really nice. so are you. you're very cute. so are you. uh... thank you. you've got lots of spots on your back. but...lots of dogs have spots. uh, well, uh... uh...um... i know there must be somethin' really special about me. there are lots of things. there's-- wait. don't tell me. i want to figure it out myself. i'll come back later and let you guys know what it is. ok. see you later, t-bone. let's see... what makes me special? i really love... tummy yummies! i guess most dogs do. [backup warning beeping] firemen are really special. they put out fires and save lives and all kinds of neat stuff. [sighs] well... it's been a long, hard day today. huh. oh, but look who's here to cheer us u

ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha! you like that? i got a million of them. unbelievable. unbelievable. olo. come va? you don't see my daughter no more. oh. [ clears throat ] you know, sir, if i may -- here -- here, look -- let's sit down, huh? please. please. can we -- can we sit down? per favóre, huh? let's sit. grazie. mílle grazie, huh? [ clears throat ] signore fogagnolo... frank: ah, your mother's ass! i don't like you. [ bell dings ] ciao, tútti! hi, daddy. hi, daddy. hi, daddy. ciao! hello, everybody! beautiful day, huh? oh! look what i have. signóra, bellisima. for you. you can have those. here, you can have one of those. beautiful. see how they wrap them? and what is this? mom... and aunt coletta! these are for you. [ laughing ] what are you doing? you look good. come here. i want to talk to you. what? come here, come here. listen... um, i know you wanted to talk to me before, and i know what you were gonna say. no, you don't. whatever you were gonna say, you were right. and i'm not just sayin' that so we don't have to talk about it anymore like at home. it's just -- there's so

ha ha ha ha! yes honey? dad told me that cheerios is good for your heart, is that true? says here that cheerios hasin oats that can help remove some cholesterol, and that's heart healthy. [ dad ] jan? hey. what are you doing? i'm brushing my teeth. oh. so that was a first, huh? this morning. making me miss golf like that. it didn't seem like you missed it. ha. i didn't, no. no. hey... look, this morning, you you know what i was thinking? why don't you make it up to the guys tomorrow? yeah, all right. what do you mean? you...you want me to go golfing tomorrow?tomorrow. i mean, you did kind of ruin their plans today. yeah, you should go golfing. i'll take the kids to the park. oh, you're the byou're the best. [sing song] going golfing tomorrow. all right. i'm gonna go watch the news. that's the... same kiss from this morning. oh? no... why not? you-- yes! why not?! ah ah ah ah ah! well... oh, you really like me a lot this week. i'll be in the bedroom. ok. don't start without me. i won't. [giggling] ow. ohh. ah. ohh. ohh... hey, what's this thing here? what? this--this thing with the muscleman on it.

ha! you think i'm scared of that? ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! my legs may be rusted, but you can't stop me. bring it on! whoo! hmm...apparently he brought it on. sir, this won't hurt a bit. oh, we all feel pain in this life, but the important thing is-- grrk! -- is to get on the field you worthless can-munchers!

ha what's so funny? whoop! whoop! whoa! ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha! would you look at this? oh...use a fork! god. hmm? oop. [exasperated sigh] was...was there somethin' wrong with the other can opener? there's nothing wrong with this can opener. [chuckling] no, nothing's wrong, honey. i mean, i would've preferred the tuna on bread, but, you know, it's... it's just as delicious right out of the sink. ha ha ha ha! this is thok, ray? because it's better. it's not stupid, [clunk] and what'd i say? and i'm not exaggerating. it's just that sometimes he's such a jerk! given. details? last night. ok? the kids are a mess. i'm tryin' to hold everything together. you're the glue, debra. everyone knows that. anyway, yoknow, he comes home... i'm gonna run away. no! don't run away. mommy would miss you so myes, she would. ohh. come on. sit, sit, sit. let's eat. hey, daddy's home. hi, ray. yeah. hi, daddy. [flatly] how was your day? oh, gosh. well, actually, it was-- great. what's for dinner? i haven't had time. if you could just wait. [grouchily] fine. make my own dinner. again. fish. son of a--well, where's the can open

ha ha. shift change! ha ha ha ha!rator: kids, in the spring of 2008, something kind of strange had been happening to your uncle barney. he'd be doing great with a woman... so i throw the pressurized oxygen tank in his mouth, i shoot the tank, boom! no more shark. mr. holland and i swim back to shore. hey, let me freshen your drink. he'd only be gone a few moments, but when he returned... so where were we? ...he'd get slapped. it kept happening. jerk! until finally, lily was approached by a mysterious woman who warned her to stay away from barney. so when it happened once more... again?! really?! wait... ...barney knew who to look for. hey, hey. hey, excuse me. did i sleep with you and then totally screw you over? no. what are you doing on friday? (grunts) hey! uh... no. stop! (groans) amy? abby. right. captioning sponsored by 20th century fox television [ male announcer ] day at kfc get our freshly delivered whole chicken. [ man ] 7...6... freshly prepared by real cooks. 5...4...3... taste why fresh is better. 2...1..

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot!onny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. ♪ >> now a paid presentation for meaningful beauty advanced by cindy crawford. >> with special appearances by debra messing. >> valerie bertinelli. >> christa miller. >> and stars from tv's royal pains and the mentalist. >> hosted by network tv correspondent katrina szish. >> brought to you by guthy-renker. >> hi, everyone, i'm beauty and style journalist katrina szish on location in beverly hills. in just a few minutes we'll meet one of the most beautiful women in the world, supermodel cindy crawford. at age 45, cindy still looks impossibly young and gorgeous. >> oh, my god, she's just stunning. her skin is just amazing, and so i feel like now i have a chance. >> what's cindy's beauty secret? we're about to find out. ♪ >> the first time i saw cindy in person,

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. . >>> our weather bird camera. see the clouds rolling in and out just like all e rest of us today. wyatt has a complete look at the forecast coming up on the most accurate forecast in about two minutes. >> if our consumer alert tax free shopping week starts sunday and it's especially good time to stock um on clothing. in between august the 11th and 17th you can avoid the 6% sales tax on clothing shoe that costs under $100. the. >> if you are going to spend a thousand dollars sometime during the year on clothes and shoes spend is now and save $60. >> do it every day. why wait. jewelry and accessories aren't included, neither are school supplies and backpacks. the comptroller supports changing that policy but said only the legislature has the power to do so. >> back to school

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot!ndreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. the next powerful storm is going to hit... but it will... that's why there's a new duracell battery. introducing duracell quantum. with its high density core, it's a quantum leap in battery power. the next storm is out there. but so are the heroes. so we're giving a million duracell quantum to first responders everywhere. power. in the hands of the most powerful. duracell. trusted everywhere. with high def screen, ultra-fast wi-fi and access to 23 million movies, tv shows, music, and apps -- all for much less than an ipad mini. i couldn't believe how good the value was for the money i paid. it gives you all the options with the apps as far as netflix, hulu, great internet browser. [ male announcer ] act now, and as part of this special tv offer, you'll get a custom cover worth over $30, plus a $25 amazon.com gif

ha ha ha ha! and he's such a marine! you should see his underwear drawer. he folds his socks! ( chuckling ) i have seen his underwear drawer. he still has feelings for you, you know. i know. is it mutual? what's not to love? funny thing about me: whenever i start a book or a movie, no matter how bad it is, i just can't stop until i get to the end. so even though john and i have only been together for a little while, well, i just like to see things through. en garde. girl: don't look at me. second girl: your hair's a bit frizzy today. aw! ha ha! you should pick that up. [girls laugh] oh, you're such a dork. loser. here. let me help you with that. oops! ha ha! announcer: every day, kids witness bullying. oh, look! your crush is looking at you. [girls laugh] poor you. ha ha! announcer: they want to help but don't know how. bully: see? no one here's gonna help you... announcer: teach your kids how to be more than a bystander. visit stopbullying.gov. girl: don't look at me. second girl: your hair's a bit frizzy today. aw! ha ha! you should pick that up. [girls laugh] oh, you're such a dork. loser. here. let me help you with that. oops! ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. >>> heavy rain continued to drench parts of colorado with fear there is more like this one, sweeping cars along like they were toys. there was triggered by flash flooding on friday. a woman reported missing had been found safe and hat least one person had been killed in this area and dozen of homes have been damaged. . coming up next is like something from the future being able to travel from the bay area to la half an hour, the idea behind the hyper loop system and the meteor shower is under way and the best chance of getting a good luck. >>> the a's continuing there fighting with texas for the title and the man threw the threw the banana at the at&t park has [ male announcer ] what is performance? 0 to 60? or 60 to 0? [ tires screech ] how a car performs in a quarter-mile?

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! co? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. there are lots of jamie"jamies" out there,... huh? but that doesn't mean we're all the same. just like greek yogurts. that's why i prefer activia greek. you got that right jamie, there's nothing like it! exactly, because activia greek is the only greek with exclusive probiotic bifidus regularis, and it helps regulate your digestive system. i love its thick creamy texture! mmm! the greek nonfat yogurt that helps tummies smile! activia greek... like no other greek yogurt. ♪ dannon but you had to leave rightce to now, would you go? world, man: 'oh i can't go tonight' woman: 'i can't.' hero : that's what expedia asked me. host: book the flight but you have to go right now. hero: (laughs) and i just go? this is for real right? this is for real? i always said one day i'd go to china, just never thought it'd be today. anncr: we're giving away a trip ev

ha ha! say what you want over here now. ha ha ha! e when i was a kid, but i could be. ha ha! ha ha! i'm so sorry. >> ha ha! steve: all right. well, let's meet everybody. introduce them. >> all right. well, i got that. ♪ who dat? >> who dat say dey gonna beat dem champs? who dat? >> who dat? >> who dat say dey gonna beat dem champs? who dat? ♪ whoo! [cheering and applause] steve: i was not ready for that. >> i don't think you were. steve: she said, "ok. i got this here. i'm gonna--" "got this here"? all right. is it charlye? >> yes. steve: that's a nice name. hi, charlye. what do you do? >> i'm a prosthetist. [laughter] >> yep. steve: ha ha ha! >> oh, good answer. that's a good answer. >> yeah. steve: oh, ha! i don't know what you said, but, lord, have mercy. ok. ok. ok. you're a what now? >> a prosthetist. steve: ok, and what is that? >> not what you think, steve. i make arms and-- steve: i wasn't thinking anything. no. prosthetist. >> there you go. that's really good. steve: yeah. that is a-- >> i make artificial limbs, prosthetics.

ha ha! ha ha ha! me to sesame street. - oh, hi! - hola! - elmo and rosita are helping me set up. - excuse me. pardon me. scientific tools coming through. - oh, boy! wow! uh, scientific tools? grover, what are you doing? - grover? who is that? oh, me? no, no, no. i am not just grover today. today i am paleontologist grover! - paleontologist grover? - that is correct. i, your friendly neighborhood grover, am also a cute and furry paleontologist. heh heh. - well, what's a paleontologist? - ha ha! that is cute. he does not know what a pa--let me explain, elmo. - ok. - a paleontologist is-- well, uh--well, it is a very long word for one thing. it is sort of like a-- - let me help you, grover. - hmm? - a paleontologist is a scientist who digs through dirt and stones to find fossils. - well--that is a pretty good description actually. yes. a paleontologist is a scientist who digs through dirt and stones to find fossils.

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! nny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. nation... is under investign for cheating. lowell high 00 schools >>> a san francisco high school considered among the elite in the nation is under investigation for possible cheating. lowell high is among more than 200 schools statewide that were flagged because state officials say students posted pictures of standardized exam material online and, of course, they say that material could have given other test takers an advantage. >>> generations of high school students were warned about the dangers of drinking and driving. there was a classic drivers ed scare movie first shown in the 1960s. the graphic film depicted fatal car accidents. fast forward to today. new message and new video. a hollywood filmmaker produced a chilling 35-minute documentary on an equally dangerous topi

ha ha! ha ha ha!t. thanks, thanks. oh. hello, and welcome to another peaceful day here on sesame street. [clatter, yelling] [drums playing] [blat] - easy! easy! [banjo playing] what in the world is going on? yaah! - well, mr. nosy pants, if you must know, it's time for the big grouch parade. - grouch parade? why are grouches having a parade? - ugh. why are grouches having a parade? don't you know what day this is? - tuesday? - no. today happens to be the grouchiest holiday of the year-- trashgiving day! [cheering] - uh, oscar, i have never heard of trashgiving. - [gasp] never heard of trashgiving?

ha ha!" ah ha ha ha ha ha. come on.it could be. you know chuck wilson? you knowwhat he told me? . shoo away the penguins. that's cold... wilson's wife. and yet, i don'tthink a. think about me.t the other s think about me. i'm not gonna make joke. thank you. you still gonna coo? yes. you wanna takey? --www.ncicap.org--nationalce a division of time warneren. no. ok, then, can ihave? oh, come on! come on. come on. the new samsung galaxy s 4.ng you about. it's got a front and back camera so you can take pictures at the same time. seriously! yeah - and it's on verizon's network. sweet! we can stay in touch when we go to school next year. that's so great! get the samsung galaxy s 4 for only $148 on verizon - america's largest 4g lte network. walmart. than he did yesterday.stand taller today... nike, sperry, and the vans atwood all at famous footwear. victory is yours. we've just topped our quarter pounder with even more bold new taste. you love bacon. we added thick-cut, applewood bacon to our new quarter pounder blt. now more than ever, there's something for everyone to love at mcdona

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. >> today on "tmz" -- >> so this lebron james scandal has gotten even crazier. jay z said he wouldn't start his concert until lebron james arrived. i think it's wrong. >> the opportunity isn't presented to you, no offense. or lebron jay z james. >> a moment. >> what moment? >> you know bryan cranston, obviously. we got this picture of him at canoga park high school and he was on a club, the chemistry club. >> what loser joins the chemistry club? >> that's a crappy thing for you to say. do on athe hell do you chemistry

ha ha ha! >> say "colors." >> ha ha ha! rainbow. ha ha! >> oh, god, will, there you are. , i looked for you all over the hospital. now i know why i couldn't find you. did you hear that troy requested a transfer? apparently, he has done this to other nurses. okay, will, are you even gonna talk to me? >> what else is there to say, sasha? >> will, i know that you're upset. >> no, i'm not upset. i'm pissed. >> i know. okay, i know that i messed up. >> yeah, you did. you lied to me. >> will, i never lied, okay? i didn't say anything because i was trying to protect you. >> you were protecting yourself. >> no, will. that's not what i-- >> you let me invite this man into our home thinking he was my friend, and you said nothing. >> will, i didn't say anything because he's your boss! >> i'm your husband. >> will, i didn't know what to do! okay, i just wanted this whole thing to go away. >> sasha, you made a fool out of me. do you get that? i mean, who else knows about this? >> will, no one knows, because there is nothing to know. look, you and i were having problems, okay? i was ups

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! py are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. sleep traiends sunday! interest-free for 3 event it's your last chance to get 3 years interest-free financing on beautyrest black, stearns & foster, serta icomfort, even tempur-pedic. plus, get free delivery and sleep train's 100-day low price guarantee. but hurry, sleep train's interest-free for 3 event ends sunday! superior service, best selection, lowest price, guaranteed! ♪ sleep train ♪ your ticket to a better night's sleep ♪ [ male announcer ] when the a.c. goes out in a heat wave, it's nuccio heating and air conditioning that comes to the rescue. at&t helped nuccio put a complete mobile solution to work. mobile routing to send the closest technician and mobile payments to invoice on the spot. where do you want to take your business? call us. we can show you how at&t solutions can h

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! y, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. yeah, the pain can be really tough. and it's my family that suffers. then i learned that my pain started at my feet. this was me. that's when i found dr. scholl's pain relief orthotics. yep, i went pro. they reduce the impact on my lower body. p-r-o. i get pain relief from the ground up. so i feel less pain and more energized. it's that simple! i'm a believer. we're all believers! dr. scholl's pain relief orthotics-- pain relief that starts with your feet. i'm a believer. reinforced with scratch- resistant glass and a unibody made kevlar strong. okay google now. call my droid. the new droid ultra by motorola. when strength matters, droid does. >>> a lots of headlines saying housing is back but some at forbes say do not buy it or we'll all pay the price again. that is the flip si

♪ ♪ come and play ♪ everything's a-ok - ha ha ha! ha ha ha!ks for everyone. here you go. - oh, boy. - all righty. let's see. now. hmm. who ordered the birdseed bread sticks? - i think that was maybe me. - here you go, big bird. i'll put that right there, and everyone's--oh, hey. hi. welcome to sesame street. - hi, there. - ¡hola! - welcome. - looks like you just caught us in time for snack time. everyone's having a little snack right now. let's see. oh. rosita. - sÍ? - what fruit can i get you? - ooh. una manzana, por favor. - oh. one apple coming right up. - mm-hmm. - can elmo have a banana, please? - you just said the magic word! hey, hey! oh! - what's going on, chris? [dramatic music playing] - i don't--hey. - wha--who's that? - i don't know. - ohh. - did somebody say... magic? - whoa! - uh, i did. who are you? - ladies and gentlemen, introducing max the magician. - whoa! - a magician? - now who wants to see some real magic?

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. raiders left tackle jared veldheer will need surgery his torn left triceps and wl miss a . >>> the raiders did not need this. >> no, they didn't. we are your home of the oakland raiders during the regular season, but it's not a deep team, and they can't afford any injure ris, but they got a big one today. raiders left tackle will need surgery on his torn left triceps, and he will miss a significant portion of the season. trying to keep the rangers in toe kus in the west. jared parker's only mistake against houston was to former teammate chris carter. that's solo home run. parker's only run allowed in 8 innings. chris young is going to send everybody home. game over. oh, no. rob by gross man takes away the game winner and so we go to the 11th. carlos corp. ran smashes one off

. >> ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha, video games, that's great, man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's that? h jimmy fallon." i get it man, that's hilarious. i love your show, but i see where you're going with that one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm glad you love our show, but what -- what are you talking about? what do you mean, you see where i'm going? >> c'mon. video games? video games, game boy, boy george, george costanza, stanza, bring you back to poetry, poetry slam, slam dunk, dunkaroos, kangaroos, bring you back roo to "winnie the pooh," pooh bear, polar bear, amy poehler, bring you back to "parks and rec," what channel is "parks and rec" on? nbc. home of "late night with jimmy fallon," how you like me now? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i guess i like you the same as before. [ laughter ] i don't even know you. >> ha-ha ha-ha. well, i know you, because your mind is my jungle gym. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's just -- that's just insane. i think you need to just -- i just think you need to chillax. >> ha-ha-ha. you did it again, man. chillax, "late night with jimmy fallon." that one t

ha ha ha! - stinky. - oh, yay! - hooray! hooray for prince elmo! - thank you. - ohh! - oh, sorry. prince elmo needs some breath spray. ooh! minty! - ha ha ha! up as martha speaks weekdays on pbs kids or watch anytime you want at pbskids.org. >> woman: when children learn to connect the little things, they begin to see a bigger picture-- that spending quality time with those who matter most makes us happier and healthier. beaches family resorts is a proud sponsor of sesame street. [ female announcer ] pnc grow up great, a proud sponsor of "sesame street," is helping families turn everyday moments into learning opportunities. ♪ you can find out more at pncgrowupgreat.com. celebrate her world becoming a little bigger. celebrate every moment that made this year and every one after memorable. party city is proud to support "sesame street" and celebrating life's special moments. female announcer: it's fun to stay in shape with foods of every shape. proud sponsor of sesame street, united healthcare: helping people live healthier lives. - "sesame street" is also brought to you by earth's best organic, the corporation for public broadcasting, and...

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot!w happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. >>> all right, welcome back everybody, giants blown out again tonight at the ballpark in front of yet another sell out crowd of this good looking f kane, here is a moment of the game. he had to leave the game, but he was gone after the 3rd ending. pedro alvarez -- it is 5-3, pirates they got worst. this one stays in the yard and the bases are cleared. every runner coming around the score, a 7 runs and with the pirates 10-3. a blow out for the giants as they were really struggling. looked like they did not miss the beat. he struck out the final battle and 6-0 win and the dodgers -- topped out at 94 miles per hour, he said he felt great and showing no effect of the -- dodgers 28-5. ters they have a new quarterback. . wallace was release you had by the saints following last friday's pre

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! y, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. cl >> right now, the connector ramp from southbound to san jose is closed. they won't say why but a number of police officers are there. if anything comes of this, we will let you know. >>> a member of the bush family might be throwing weight behind a democratic nominee. george w. bush's daughter barbara claims she wants hillary clinton to become president. two years ago, she supported gay marriage in a youtube video. >>> the show in the bay area will take about 12 seconds. ryan pateo says that is how long it will take to implode anest bay landmark. >> everyday i look at the building, but it will not be there anymore. >> reporter: a view like this makes cal state east bay's warren hall like small. lee baker lives three miles from campus. >> and i want to find out as much as i ca

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! llars switching to geico? i'd say r than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. [announcer] there's no hiding the beneful baked delights.from new heartfuls are made with real bacon... ...and oven-baked to crisp perfection. add a soft apple-flavored center ...and say no more. new heartfuls from beneful baked delights. spark more play in your day. with olay regenerist eye and lash duo. the serum instantly thickens and defines lashes. the cream smooths and softens the look of lines. ♪ so wow! another eye opener from olay. so wow! fby eating healthier, drinking plenty of water, but still not getting relief? try dulcolax laxative tablets. dulcolax is comfort-coated for gentle, over-night relief. dulcolax. predictable over-night relief you can count on. >>> back now to our trip into the black market of white gold, where a worldwide ban on freshly poached ivory has only driven up the price and driven down the numbe

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! nny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. why? well, imagine waking up every morning with a little less hair... then driving to work in heavy traffic. [ horns blaring ] only to find out that the project you were working on for a year was suddenly canceled. well, the chocolatey taste of jell-o pudding makes up for all that. here. you need this more than me. ♪ ♪ >> jay: all righty. my first guest. a tony award winner, an emmy award winner and a lot of fun. she'll be performing at the hollywood bowl on august 23rd and 2 -- two nights at the bowl. she sold out. she's gonna sing for us later but i thought that we'd talk to her a little bit first. please welcome one of our favorites, kristin chenoweth. kristin. ♪ [ applause ] >> did you miss me? >> jay: i did miss you. now i heard you had a bone to pick with me. what's up?

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. i want you to be smart. super smart. i want one thing in a doctor. to speak my language. i don't want you to look at the chart before you say hi...david. quiero que me hagas sentir segura. i want you to be awesome. that's the doctor i want. at kaiser permanente, we want you to choose the doctor that's right for you. find your perfect match at kp.org and thrive. ♪ (woman) this place has got really good chocolate shakes. (growls) (man) that's a good look for you. (woman) that was fun. (man) yeah. (man) let me help you out with the.. (woman)...oh no, i got it. (man) you sure? (woman) just pop the trunk. (man vo) i may not know where the road will lead, but... i'm sure my subaru will get me there. (announcer) love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. female narrator: female narrator: clos

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. the next powerful storm is going to hit... but it will... that's why there's a new duracell battery. introducing duracell quantum. with its high density core, it's a quantum leap in battery power. the next storm is out there. but so are the heroes. so we're giving a million duracell quantum to first responders everywhere. power. in the hands of the most powerful. duracell. trusted everywhere. power. in the hands of the most powerful. he and his mom, natasha, justan. shopped at family dollar to get him ready for school. let's look for the same items and see the difference. come on. here at walmart you saved over $1.50 on crayola colored pencils. wow! love it! not bad for your next picasso huh jordan? ok. you saved over 53 cents here on jif peanut butter at walmart. great savings. wo

ha ha ha! steve: hey, hey,ellas. hey. you want to see something? >> ha ha ha! >> ha ha ha! and applause] steve: your manhood for the steal. >> whoo! steve: number 7. audience: my ears. steve: 6. audience: my big mouth. steve: 3. audience: my car/mom van. steve: wow. let's go. question two. give me katie, give me beckie. t's go. ladies, here we go. top 4 answers are on the board. we asked 100 women name something you'd have to get used to if you were married to a vampire. beckie. >> those fangs. steve: those fangs. >> play! steve: they're gonna play. >> we're gonna play! >> whoo, whoo, whoo! steve: gary, introduce your family. >> before i introduce the family, i've got something i want you to see. i want to show you. steve: ok. >> 30 years ago, we were on "family feud" with richard dawson. we won $29.42 apiece. [laughter and applause] there's who's fault it is right there. steve: why? what happened to miss jetta? >> we were leading the whole time. last question, bang, she buzzed in first. the question was how do kids get from place to place? i'm thinking, "god, please let it

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. no-charge scheduled maintenance. check. and here's the kicker... 0% apr for 60 months. and who got it? this guy. and who got it? this guy. and who got it? this guy. that's right... [ male announcer ] it's the car you won't stop talking about. ever. hurry in to the volkswagen best. thing. ever. event. and get 0% apr for 60 months, now until september 3rd. that's the power of german engiering. this was me. then i found dr. scholl's pain relief orthotics. they reduce the impact on my lower body. so i feel less pain and more energized. dr. scholl's pain relief orthotics-- pain relief that starts with your feet. i'm a believer. >>> here's what you're seeing on abc2 news at 11. abc2 broke this story about sports 55. we continue to hear complaints from customers all over the countr

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. >>> thanks for watching, have a great weekend. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, neil patrick harris, from the l.a. dodgers, clayton kershaw, and music from pepper. with cleto and the cletones. and now, sure enough, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's very nice. thank you. thank you very much. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] we are back from -- thank you. i appreciate it. we're back from a two-week vacation. and as you can see, i have a beard. i got married. that's why i'm wearing a ring. [ cheers and applause ] which i guess means i have two beards. [ laughter ] the reason -- the reason i got married is -- there's a very good reason. i neede

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot!how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. ms. lemon, here's the research you wanted for that white house skit. oh, okay, thanks. you know it, lady broseph! [grunting] what! those are your new interns. aren't they a little old, and over-dressed? (donaghy) they're all former investment bankers who were laid off after that economic crash that nancy pelosi caused. they've had zero real-world skills, but god, they work hard. [laughter] gentlemen, i need you to run out and pick up some flowers, a collection of bath soaps, and some spanish-language gossip magazines. soap and spanish magazines? what, are you expecting a visit from the, uh--um-- oh, lemon, don't start unless you've got something. okay. elisa's grandmother's coming to visit. i don't think she likes me. te odio. yo soy jack. i don't understand it. well, as long as el

♪ ♪ come and play ♪ everything's a-ok - ha ha ha! ha ha ha!listen to this--"some snails have thousands of teeth." - amazing. - wow. you sure can learn a lot on a computer. - oh, hi. - oh, hey, welcome to sesame street. - ribbit. - oh! - ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit. - wait! come back. - what was that? - a princess. - yeah, chasing a frog. - ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit. - stop, frog. stop. oh, no. - oh, excuse me, miss, but is something wrong? - yes. something is wrong. i'm never going to meet my prince. - your prince? - mm-hmm. i have to kiss that frog to meet my prince, and i can't do it. ohh! - wait a minute. wait a minute. a princess? a frog? ooh, elmo knows that story. - oh, yeah. me, too. me, too. the frog is really a prince who's under a spell, right? - that's right, and when the princess kisses the frog, she breaks the spell,

ha ha ha ha ha! and the fighting. rrr! ell, london, if you go now, you'll start to miss it much sooner. go, go, go. i tricked you almost, didn't i? >> hey, everybody. >> sasha, where have you been? we were supposed to go shopping. >> well, i thought you were busy packing, so i took miss daisy. >> i saw my cousin evelyn. she wouldn't even speak to me. she's always been such a big snob. >> miss daisy, i told you that was a mannequin. >> oh. no wonder she never moved. >> how could you go without me? we always go shopping together. >> well, not anymore, london, now that you're moving out. >> well, we can still go shopping together, can't we? >> london, honey, i can't afford to park at the places you shop at. >> will you two clam it? we're trying to see how this ends. >> colonel, it ends the same way. ali gonna win. it's 1975. let it go. >> this coming from a man who dresses like huggy bear? come on. >> honey, i am gonna miss you, but i'm really worried about those kids. you know that they love you, right? >> i know. what am i g

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars swwednesday. geico?ier thn hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. this was me. then i found dr. scholl's pain relief orthotics. they reduce the impact on my lower body. so i feel less pain and more energized. dr. scholl's pain relief orthotics-- pain relief that starts with your feet. i'm a believer. >>> it's now time for "sunday housecall." dr. david samadi, chairman of urology at lennox hospital. dr. marc siegel is here. author of "the inner pulse: unlocking the secret code of sickness and health." that is what we do here on "sunday housecall." great to see both of you. >> good morning. >> let's get healthier, shall we? there's some new research actually in the fight against cancer. everybody wants to do what they can. scientists have discovered a way of firing up your immune system to go ahead and attack cancer cells. so dr. samadi, fire it up. >> yeah. our immune system is ver

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot!who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. . >>> so the giants having a little bit of success. you know, they could come from behind maybe a little bit. you think. >> they are 12 games back. >> this is not mathematically --. >> you know. >> if they win the next 40. >> that's right. but i will say it again they did it a couple years ago. seven and a half back in mid august, came back, got in the playoffs the last game of the season. >> predicting playoffice. >> won the world series. >> there you go. >> you never know. >> see you tomorrow. ( band playing "late show" theme ) >> from the heart of broadway, broadcasting across the nation and around the world, it's the "late show" with david letterman. tonight... plus paul shaffer and the cbs orchestra. i'm alan kalter. and now, urban sophisticate, david letterman! captioning sponsored by worldwide

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. does your dog food have? 18 percent? 20? new purina one true instinct has 30. active dogs crave nutrient-dense food. .so w . . ♪ [ male announcer ] ultra rugged phones from sprint. buy one, get four free, and $150 credit when you swih your business line to sprint. the pioneers in push-to-talk. trouble hearing on the phone? visit sprintcaptel.com [ female announcer ] at 100 calories, not all food choices add up. some are giant. some not so giant. when managing your weight, bigger is always better. ♪ ho ho ho ♪ green giant >>> i'm confident in the case our government made without waiting for u.n. inspectors. i'm comfortable going forward without the approval of a united nations security council that so far has been completely paralyzed and willing to hold assad accountable. >>

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. >>> by the way, asked to rate cities on factors that determine how friendly they may be. results are out and the travel site found the most city the most friendly is charleston south carolina. and the most unfriendly is ten miles west of here in newark, new jersey. i counter that by saying if you are me, this city. now, before i just jumped on these things, branson, missouri. the only thing branson has that says come see dolly pardon and her big shirt. >> we had fans from branson the other day. >> you have to look at how coded it is. if you look at the top five unfriendly, newark, oakland, new haven, detroit. those are four. atlantic city. if you look at the friendliest it is like savannah and charleston. it is about what is hospitable. the best way to see newark is from a d

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. 90 degree temperatures today. temperatures may approach the mid-90s by tuesday. the humidity is increasing as well. currently 62 percent humidity. temperatures across the area... this is tropical moisture... a brand new tropical storm to the east of mexico. skies will be mostly clear tonight. warm air tonight. monday scattered clouds temperatures in the '90s. tuesday hot and humid... 7 day forecast... >> from the lake, to the parks, to the roads, chicago athletes were testing themselves today. next, a look at the 31st annual chicago triathlon. break caused by acid reflux disease, relief is at hand. for many, nexium provides 24-hour heartburn relief and may be available for just $18 a month. there is risk of bone fracture and low magnesium levels. side effects may include headache,

ha ha ha ha ha ha! leslie, guess what today is? it's hump day. whoot whoot! ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? i'd say happier than a camel on wednesday. hump day!!! yay!! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. >>> new york city officials are fighting for the stop and frisk ruling of a judge. the city is appealing. commissioner ray kelly says searches make the city safer. >> the stark reality is that violation is happening disproportionately in minorities. unfortunately it's in big cities around america. we have record low of murders and shootings. we're doing something right to save lives. >> the origin law chute was filed by a medical student who says she was stopped twice. who he has to live in one of america's cities want their mayor out. started this sunday. he is said to return to work this week after undergain behavior therapy. more than a dozen women have accused him of inappropriate advances. and if they get enough support an election could be called in just three months t

♪ ♪ come and play ♪ everything's a-ok - ha ha ha! ha ha ha!g. - posing, posing. - chris, down, chris, down. - how do i look? - and got it! - yay! - wow! you looked good! oh, oh. hi. welcome to sesame street. - hello, there. we have a great photographer with us today. - oh, well. - yeah. yeah. he is a--yeah. that's elmo! he is taking pictures of all his friends, right elmo? - yep. - hey, elmo. - what? - why don't you take a picture of them? - oh, hey. - oh, yeah! that's a good idea, rosita! pose for elmo. - say, "cheese!" - ok. smile. aw. that's wonderful. you looked great! - very cute. ok. well, who's next? - why don't you take a picture of me? [jazzy music plays] - who was that? - hey. who is that? - can't see me, can you? - no! - are you invisible? - nope. you can't see me because i'm... camouflage carla. - camouflage carla? - that's right because i love to wear camouflage. - what's a cam--camo-- - camouflage. that's a great question. i'll tell you what it is, or better yet, i'll sing about it. - ah. - ♪ if i'm standing in front of a wall ♪