no dice, hasbro, literally. they took away the dice! monopoly is supposed to be a grueling, nine-hour marathon that dad always wins because his bedtime is later. [laughter] so folks, keep this battery-powered menace out of your playrooms until they update it properly. one player is born with a bill whereon dollars and all all the get out of jail free cards. he bundles all the good properties like marvin gardens and pacific avenue with crap properties like mediterranean and baltic and come biengs them as triple-a rated property swap derivatives that he sells to the other players who lose their life savings and end up turning tricks on the boardwalk. [cheering and applause] finally, the game ends when the last player goes broke and has no choice but to join the army and start playing risk. we'll be right back. at 1800contacts, we deliver every.... ♪violin musical theme ....brand right to your door, that's right and order from us and you'll also... (sound of doorbell) save money. brands door money (sound of cash register bell) that's just