. >> this is david hasselhoff statue. >> jimmy: does it get drunk and vomit on your carpet? >> dicky: and music from t-pain. >> jimmy: no male >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about nexpedition from american express travel, the way to turn your next trip into a customized adventure. just go to nextpedition.com, take the online quiz to uncover your travel sign -- i'm a taste blazer, by the way -- then, you speak with a travel specialist. they'll tailor your itinerary for a mystery adventure that will be revealed day by day on your travel console. or, you can plan it all yourself and wind up like this. >> this is not a good vacation for me. i'm cold, i'm hungry, i'm sad. and i'm hungry. >> jimmy: oh, now, guillermo, hold on a second this is very sad. >> jimmy! i am cold and hungry and -- >> jimmy: i know. i know. you know, if you had gone to nextpedition.com, you would've wound up in places tailored specifically to your personality so you would definitely have enjoyed it. places like this -- >> wow! i like this much better! can you make it rain tequila, too? >> jimmy

. >> this is david hasselhoff statue. >> jimmy: does it get drunk and vomit on your carpet? >> dicky: and music from t-pain. vomit on your carpet? >> dicky: and music from t-pain. >> jimmy: no male we need a sofa. vomit on your carpet? >> dicky: and music from t-pain. >> jimmy: no male something i can stretch out on! ooh... that will go with those lamps my mother gave us. or we could get some new lamps. or we could get no sofa. negotiating, eh? you got it! how about a nice home for our tv? how about doors to hide that drive-in theater? how about a cowhide rug? yee-haw! and the snacks? get their own place. let the marathon begin! for a limited time buy select seating and get 15% back, at ikea, the life improvement store. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about nexpedition from american express travel, the way to turn your next trip into a customized adventure. just go to nextpedition.com, take the online quiz to uncover your travel sign -- i'm a taste blazer, by the way -- then, you speak with a travel specialist. they'll tailor your itinerary for a mystery adventure

. >> this is david hasselhoff statue. >> jimmy: does it ever get drunk and vomit on your carpet? >> and music from t-pain. >> jimmy: no male prostitute i >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with news about fuel tv's upcoming reality show. four camps of eight compete in adventures designed by action stars. for you chance to compete for one of four brand-new ford vehicles, just submit a video to octaneacademy.com. my friends are outside making theirs right now. >> okay. i think it's working. >> action. >> hi, i'm guillermo along with my assistant. i want to go to the octane academy. i have the right attitude. that's why i want to go to the octane academy. >> no, i want to go to octane academy! >> no, listen to me! pick me! i want to go to octane academy! >> no, take me! >> listen to me! i want to go to academy! listen to me! >> jimmy: i think he wants us to listen to him is the point. >> think you have what it takes? submit a video and prove it. you have till january 31st to make the cut. on my team, you need to bring it. bring it. bring it. on my team, we go hard every day. every day.

. >> this is the an ma tronnic david hasselhoff statue from the movie set "spongebob squarepants." >>: this was in the movie? >> yes. >> jimmy: and used for what? the movie? >> that i don't -- >> jimmy: you haven't seen the movie? >> i isn't. i just brought the prop. >> jimmy: how long have you had this? >> i had it since july 2007. >> jimmy: it looks a little bit damaged. do you know why that is? >> when it was at the auction house i guess a dog thought it was real and jumped up and bit it in its breast. >> jimmy: you have considered receiving this in germany where you could get a lot more money for it? >> i recently just heard about doing that. >> jimmy: you have? okay. and you say it's an ma tronnic, does it do anything? >> um -- yes. it -- the head moves just like this. >> jimmy: that's -- does it ever get drunk and vomit on your carpet? >> no, but you know, it eats cheese burgers. >> jimmy: what child wouldn't come down the stairs on christmas morning and be absolutely delighted to see something like this? well, thank you very much. if you would like to buy this item, and who wou

. >> this is david hasselhoff statue. >> jimmy: does it get drunk and vomit on your carpet?dicky: and music from t-pain. >> jimmy: no male p

david hasselhoff. >> it's a game of musical chairs there. >> how does he fit in?undaries, but someone will have their hand in it and make sure nothing gets on there. they need to push it. they need to boost ratings. they are competing with simon cowell and a lot is going on. >> let's transition to paris jackson, michael jackson's daughter who spoke at her father's memorial service and he said what a great father he had been. she is talking to ellen? >> yeah. it's insane, actually. here she is like we didn't see her. she was behind masks for so long and she is coming out. it warms my heart because she is so much the embodiment of her mother. i knew michael and i knew debbie row. she is that spit fire. totally out there and unashamed and intelligent and witty. probably very talented. >> let's play what paris had to say to ellen. >> did you tell him that you wanted to act? >> yeah and we did improves and he would give us scenarios. he said in this scene i would cry. i would cry on the spot. >> you can cry on the spot? >> yes. >> that's impressive. you got away with a

rent this italian science fiction movie he did in like '77 called "star crash" where it's david hasselhoffere's some italian director yelling at him. and in his mind he's going, "i'll be it at the oscars someday. this is all --" >> jimmy: this is all an anecdote. >> "this will be a nice cocktail party conversation." >> jimmy: charlize, phenomenal. >> phenomenal -- >> jimmy: beautiful. >> -- gorgeous. although, you know, i know that she gets a lot of attention for, like when she did "monster" she gained all this weight, you know for "monster." but, you know, i gained 30 pounds for "young adult," 20 years before diablo wrote it. so, i don't know why -- >> jimmy: that's amazing. >> that is total method. i gambled. >> jimmy: that's beyond method. >> i totally gambled on that. >> jimmy: it's a great story. it's basically about someone who goes back to their hometown trying to get their love back, their high school love. >> it basically is the way a romantic comedy would look in real life, which is a stalker horror movie. it's all the fun romantic comedy behavior, but if you saw it in real life,

the loop hasselhoff. pushes. double of questions. how would you assess prison by both of its. >> so it's a lot dooryard. michele alexander is a pen tested. it should be required reading. so certainly alexander's book gives us such clarity healthy realities that karen is level increased to know where our definition of creme chances and with it to a aren't some of. return unwillingly has decided to accept the level of bondage. we wouldn't otherwise to this and find it a couple. if i told you the statistics outside of things about prison he would find the love scene and hold of, well, it happens accruals. let me just to of a lease a human wall poona credible the projects in local communities to work. and let someone with practice all week ahead of the national lenders alike an african-american leaders, and that has not been my experience. i continue to the non-profit organization is addressing your return from housing to incarceration to all led by black men and women call from the monthly doing work cut r&d that as well beating brodeur

she also accused colin farrell, david hasselhoff, meat loaf, the guitar player from journey, vanilland applause ] well, doctors in israel now say a simple jolt of electricity may cure male impotence. >> rickey: ouch! >> jay: you know, i tell you. you know, it's bad enough you got to charge your cell phone, okay? [ laughter ] then, your laptop. now, you got to plug your penis in before you go to bed? [ laughter ] that's horrible! [ applause ] >> rickey: that's not good. >> jay: what a terrible idea. man. isn't that amazing? a jolt of electricity cures impotence. >> rickey: yeah, that's something. you know something? i'll bet that's why that's ben franklin was flying a kite in a thunderstorm. [ laughter and applause ] that's -- sure, that's why. folks, we'll be right back with "headlines" and ellen barkin right after this. say hello to rickey minor and "the tonight show" band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> are you ready? ♪ you want to save money on car insurance? no problem. you want to save money on rv insurance? no problem. you want to save money on motorcycle insurance? no problem. y