the victim was his ex-girlfriend, heather norris. >> it was a toxic relationship. love hate and i still very much love her. >> throughout the couple's three-year relationship, heather told her family that bean was abusive and even though he faced a trial on domestic abuse charges at the time of heather's murder he says he wasn't abusive. >> it was predicated on a lie. the lie is that we had a violent relationship. i'm not saying i'm without fault. but as far as what happened with her death, worst case voluntary manslaughter and best case self-defense. >> he insists that heather came at him with a knife. >> i pried the knife out of her hand and even still after i had the knife she continued to come forward. that caught me off guard. and in the heat of the moment, i reacted. i stabbed her in the side right here. >> but according to court records, bean had confessed to a friend that he stabbed heather several times and slit her throat. no one knows for sure because her body was never recovered. >> i decided to try to do something with the body. i thought, well, cremat