hey, you did it, hey. you did it, oh man, fantastic!re a mighty mite too! >> jimmy: hey, thank you so much, man, appreciate that. [ audience aws ] thank you very, very much. give it up for the wallkill mighty mites! you guys rock, that was amazing. that's all the time we have for audience suggestion box, stick around, we'll be right back with more of the "tonight show," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (door bell rings) trick or treat! mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! you raise her spirits. we tackled your shoulder pain. you make him rookie of the year. we took care of your cold symptoms. you take him on an adventure. tylenol® has been the number 1 doctor recommended brand of pain reliever for over 20 years. but for everything we do, we know you do so much more. tylenol®. you're playing for more than one million dollars. but for everything we do, we know you do so much more. you're playing for greatness. play monopoly at mcdonald's for your shot at millions of prizes. let's play this game. the game you love is back. ♪ ♪ ok google, what's a

hey, hey, hey. name an instrument least likely to get a band member groupies. come on. >> what?we have the answer. >> there's a time limit. >> jimmy: sorry. trombone. [ laughter ] i'm going to go with the trombone, steve. [ laughter ] you know what i'm talking about? when you get this close to the microphone? >> that's what they do to people at home that never been on tv. >> i could say trombone. it's really loud. >> jimmy: do we have a blah blah blah blah blah? [ laughter ] >> let's see -- trombone! [ buzzer ] [ audience ohs ] wow. let's see what our remaining answer is. number two. [ ding ] >> bass. [ laughter ] >> all right. okay, let's go to our third and final question. give me higgins and james. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ here we go, guys. we call this the last round. this one is worth triple the points, so it's anybody's game. you can make a comeback. >> steve: okay. you guys are killing us. >> yes, they are. we have the top three answers on the board. >> come on. >> fill in the blank. >> oh wow. >> one hand on the board, guy. fill in the blank. i love to play with my what

hey, hey. >> sexy astronaut. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're damn right. >> good, right? call this thing? >> jimmy: what? >> the reply kay or the. check it out. turn the lights on. look what i did! >> jimmy: wow. unbelievable! do it to guillermo! >> no, no, they're saying no. they're saying don't do it. >> jimmy: too expensive. well, it's very good to see you. >> you, too. >> jimmy: you've been traveling all over the galaxy. >> i've been all around. sorry, i'm just a little -- i took a little bit of space mushrooms before. >> jimmy: you did? [ laughter ] okay. >> i'm a little banged up. >> jimmy: yeah, right, sure. i'll trial to be jetle with you then. where have you been? >> i was in berlin -- i was in australia, i was in germany. >> jimmy: why were you in germany? >> i was in germany because i was promoting the teenage mutant ninja turtles film. come on, nothing? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't mean to -- i don't think they know if you are ever telling the truth anymore. >> i've told the truth like three times, guys. in my life. and -- and, yeah, so, i was in

hey, guys. you? >> how are you? so i brought in a contractor, and we're gonna start making changes immediately. the sooner we have a new layout, the closer we'll be to making money. i need to figure out how to change the look and feel of the place. it doesn't feel inviting. >> is there anything that you really want to keep? i'd like to keep the exterior walls. >> [laughs] okay. >> this is the kitchen. >> oh, wow. >> so ideally, i'd like to go that way. >> okay. >> in here, i really want to have this bar jut out into the middle of the store so that when i come in the front door, i'm seeing a really nice bar all the way around. so i'd like to get started tomorrow. >> okay. >> we're all getting ready for one last night of business before this place gets a major overhaul, and we're not telling anybody our plans yet. >> marcus, the mayor was in here tonight. i told her that i thought there was gonna be some changes and that-- [people cheering] she asked about what those changes were. i said there was

♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ ♪ hey! what a wonderful kind of day. ♪ hey! arthur: hey, d.w. hey! tight! ( dogs barking ) open the gates! they're escaping! where's friar buster with our escape vehicle? jump in! buster, there were no cars in robin hood's time. oh, yeah, right. um... it's a wagon. they got away! after them!

♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ hey! hey, dw! hey! whoa...a whole family in there. (laughing cruelly) seriously, muffin head, did you choose that haircut or was your barber just blind? stop it. aw, i think we hurt the wittle girl's feewings. we're sorry, muffin head. it's not your fault you have weird hair. you probably just have a weird head. why do you two keep teasing me? hey, we just call it like we see it. besides, i'm doing you a favor. someone's got to tell you how dopey you look. this castle stinks, too. it doesn't even have a moat. come on, let's get out of here. aw, man! i got sand in my shoe. hey, are you okay? get lost!

hey! hey! hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! hey! hello, and welcome to millionaire! i'm terry crews.so check me out on brooklyn nine-nine. [cheers and applause] >> to save money, today's first contestant moved into his father-in-law's basement. >> all: aw. >> yeah. we gonna need to get this man some money. from babylon, new york, please welcome bryan mcmullin! [cheers and applause] >> how are you? what's up, man? >> thanks, terry. oh. >> what's going on, bryan? your father-in-law's basement? >> you got-- you know, when you want a house, you have to give up some things, like freedom and... >> [laughs] >> paychecks towards savings. so that's--you know, we're saving money. we're living with my father-in-law. he's a nice--nice guy. >> okay. i'm saying, it'd be a little different if he comes downstairs all the time, so, "hey, bryan. what are you doing today, bryan?" i mean, do you get anything like that? he's good? >> he's--he's retired, so he's there, and he's-- >> [laughs] >> i don't think-- i don't think i've ever been there when he's not there. so it's exciting. he gave us rules. he g

hey, my dad's not home till friday. ♪ hey, na-na-na ♪ hey, hey, na-na-na-na ♪ hey, na-na-na, hey, heyher? seriously? so rude. whatever. they deserve each other. this was a bad idea. come on. caitlin invited me. she knows we're together. girl loves drama. i say let's give it to her.

hey!l kind of day ♪ if we could learn to work and play ♪ ♪ and get along with each other ♪ ♪ you got to listen to your heart, listen to the beat ♪ ♪ listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street ♪ ♪ open up your eyes, open up your ears ♪ ♪ get together and make things better by working together ♪ ♪ it's a simple message, and it comes from the heart ♪ ♪ oh, believe in yourself ♪ believe in yourself ♪ ♪ for that's the place to start ♪ ♪ place to start ♪ ♪ and i say, hey ♪ hey! hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day♪ ♪ if we could learn to work and play ♪ ♪ and get along with each other ♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day.♪ hey! arthur (over tv): hey, d.w.! hey! whoa! (loud thud) (letters shattering) announcer: somewhere, in the ancient ruins of egypt lies a horror buried deep beneath the desert sands, an unnatural force, bent on destruction, not dead, not alive, and nothing can stop them. (mooing) (screaming) the new video game from the makers of "extreme

hey, ladies, hey! cheers and applause ] >> steve: the metro express. ♪ >> steve: his new stripper name is pumpkin latte. >> jimmy: your stripper name is pumpkin latte? >> steve: yeah, pumpkin -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: finally, this made me laugh. last week on jeopardy a a contestant finally asked a a question that's been on everyone's mind. >> bedivere loves raisins after cleaving foes in twain, so give him spotted this. emma? >> what is dick? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and then the ten-year-old writer at jeopardy was like, "ha ha, i made her say it!" [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show. give it up for the roots, ladies and gentlemen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, man. we have a great show tonight. we have a great week. we've had a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, kevin spacey will be here tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] we're gonna do something fun. he's always great. also olivia munn will be here. she's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] and the very funny

hey! ♪ >> okay! what? packin' eleven i'm packin' eleven ooh i ride in a gator my shoes are giuseppe ooh ♪ ♪ i'm slime like the reverend i shoot at the reverend hey ♪ ♪ pants out the grocery store they stuck with lettuce hey ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ put your money down i can buck a hard four you playin' with it i'ma send 'em through ♪ ♪ your car door my watch flooded sick got parvo ♪ ♪ i'm doin' it for black and yellow free hardo ♪ ♪ the head honcho no tonto i'm quick to put some bricks in a bronco ♪ ♪ talkin well i don't respond to those no murder no dough no convo ♪ ♪ if it ain't about the money don't be blowin' me up i ain't gettin' up ♪ ♪ if it ain't about the money ain't no use in you ringin' my line ♪ ♪ stop wastin' my time if it ain't about the money nah i can't even hear ♪ ♪ what you say i ain't finna do if it ain't about the money ♪ ♪ you can miss me with it miss me with it turn it ♪ ♪ i'm packin' eleven i'm packin' eleven ooh i ride in a gator my shoes are giuseppe ooh ♪ ♪ i'm slime like the reverend i shoot at th

hey!erful kind of day ♪ if we could learn to work and play ♪ ♪ and get along with each other ♪ ♪ you got to listen to your heart, listen to the beat ♪ ♪ listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street ♪ ♪ open up your eyes, open up your ears ♪ ♪ get together and make things better by working together ♪ ♪ it's a simple message, and it comes from the heart ♪ ♪ oh, believe in yourself ♪ believe in yourself ♪ ♪ for that's the place to start ♪ ♪ place to start ♪ ♪ and i say, hey ♪ hey! hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day♪ ♪ if we could learn to work and play ♪ ♪ and get along with each other ♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day.♪ hey! arthur (over tv): hey, d.w.! hey! whoa! (loud thud) (letters shattering) oh, i didn't expect to see you out here. i'm looking for something very rare. in fact, it's so rare, i shouldn't even be talking about it. (birds chirping) i plan on being the first person ever to get it on film. what's the rarest thing you've ever seen? t

[cheers and applause] >> [shouting] hey! hey! hey! hey, hey, hey! i'm terry crews, and i can't wait to give somebody that million dollars today here on millionaire! [cheers and applause] today's first contestant says that after a recent midlife crisis at just 30 years old, she's ready to win a million and enjoy the ride. from apex, north carolina, please welcome stephanie teeter! [cheers and applause] >> hey. >> hey, girl, how you doing? >> i'm doing well. how are you? >> come on over. all right, so now you are ready to live life to the fullest. >> i am certainly trying. >> all right, so what do you

♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ ♪ hey! what a wonderful kind of day. ♪ hey! arthur: hey, d.w. hey!a plane or balloony ♪ ♪ slappy, sloopy, gloopy, gloopy... ♪ dresses in blue, pink or lavender-- no orange ever! a notebook is useless unless you personalize it. ♪ happy, hibey, hoopy, whoopy doopy, doofy, screwy, bluey... ♪ hmm... can you come back to me? ♪ goey, gooey chewy, flooey... ♪ uh... this is hard. a few good... shoes, shoes, shoes-- as many as possible! francine: muffy, you had your turn. no, wait! ♪ fuzzy, wuzzy, busalooney ♪ ♪ crazy, glazey crazy, lazy bus... ♪ okay, i got it, i got it-- macaroni and cheese! what do i like? that's for me to know and you to find out. ( crashes ) ah! will people buy this stuff? that's the beauty of a yard sale--

hey!kind of day ♪ if we could learn to work and play ♪ ♪ and get along with each other ♪ ♪ you got to listen to your heart, listen to the beat ♪ ♪ listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street ♪ ♪ open up your eyes, open up your ears ♪ ♪ get together and make things better by working together ♪ ♪ it's a simple message, and it comes from the heart ♪ ♪ believe in yourself ♪ believe in yourself ♪ ♪ for that's the place to start ♪ ♪ place to start ♪ ♪ and i say, hey ♪ hey! hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day♪ ♪ if we could learn to work and play ♪ ♪ and get along with each other ♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day.♪ hey! arthur (over tv): hey, d.w.! hey! whoa! (loud thud) (letters shattering) (theme from masterpiece theatre plays) oh, hello. i'm baby kate, your host of this week's "mashed peas theater." a cat, a dog, an imaginary friend. what do these three creatures have in common? (with british accent): hair! they all have lots of hair. am i right? pal

arthur (on tv): hey, d.w.! hey! whoa! first time i picked up a comic book by myself. hey, little dude. you can read this? arthur: freddy k, i'm not little, i'm big. i can read... the pictures. when i was six, i really got to feel grown up. for the first time, i paid for a comic book with my own money. i'm buying my very own comic. arachnid ned, the boy who can get spiders to do anything he wants. i saved up for it myself. freddy k: uh, big dude? you want your change? oh, uh... (softly): do i want my change? and now i get to watch d.w. pick out her first very own comic book. i bet she goes with a copy of mary moo calf. one mary moo calf. arthur: told you. freddy k: and antfarm annie. pippy-poo the puppy. tummy bunnies hip-hoppy happy trail tales. baba billy, the sheepboy. witty winnie wilson. (all gasp) (chicken squawks, muffy screams)

♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ hey! hey, dw! hey! whoa...hing championships! in this corner, defending his title, the sultan of schooling, the homework hammer, nigel ratburn! (crowd cheering) mr. ratburn's looking good, but he's going to have to bring his a+ game tonight. he hasn't faced this tough an opponent since lenny "long division" spitz in last year's math melee. capital of benin? porto-novo. the moons of mars? phobos and deimos. and in the other corner, the dynamo of data, the number-crunching crusher from cupertino, california, the challenger! (squeaking) i've never seen anything like it! oh, poor mr. ratburn! i can't look! (gulps) i want a good clean match. okay, shake hands. (screen whirring) the pseudometa corporation has chosen your class to test out its new smartboard for two weeks. "the hugo 3.0 is the latest advancement "in user-based technology, with a 14 tera...

hey!nderful kind of day ♪ if we could learn to work and play ♪ ♪ and get along with each other ♪ ♪ you got to listen to your heart, listen to the beat ♪ ♪ listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street ♪ ♪ open up your eyes, open up your ears ♪ ♪ get together and make things better by working together ♪ ♪ it's a simple message, and it comes from the heart ♪ ♪ believe in yourself ♪ believe in yourself ♪ ♪ for that's the place to start ♪ ♪ place to start ♪ ♪ and i say, hey ♪ hey! hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day♪ ♪ if we could learn to work and play ♪ ♪ and get along with each other ♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day♪ hey! arthur (over tv): hey, d.w.! hey! whoa! (loud thud) (letters shattering) (bird chirping) hi, tree. how's it going? trees don't say much. maybe that's why i don't notice them most of the time. but there's a lot going on in them. birds make their homes there. so do bugs. (screeches) cats love to climb trees. and kids do, too. yep. e

>> hey, how are you? >> hey, how you doing? >> i'm marcus. >> steven. >> both: nice to meet you. >> is this your car? >> no, no, we're wholesaling them. >> wholesaling them? you buy cars from them? >> yes. >> how many do you buy a month? >> 40 to 50. something around that number. >> that's what you're buying? >> yeah. >> wholesalers are a broker who stand in the middle of a transaction. they buy cars from jon, they mark up the price, and they sell it to a dealer. why do we need middlemen around here? how often is he here? >> my friend steven? >> mm-hmm. >> all the time. he's actually a wholesaler. i sell most of my cars to him. >> why? >> um, because i trust him very much. he's a good friend of mine. >> but the issue that i have is that you're giving up the spread. what did you put on the car? >> uh, 8,000. >> what did steven pay you for it? >> 8,500. >> this car will retail for what? >> i'd say-- >> 12,900? >> 12--i was gonna say, 12,999, yeah. >> how much margin is that, in between you and the final customer? >> 8,500 to 12,9

♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ hey! hey, dw! hey! whoa...st. today i'm with francine frensky, a soccer star who has overcome incredible odds, having been born with duck's feet. what? that's not true. well, i have to spice it up. muffy, very few people have successfully done the pinwheel kick. it's incredibly hard. first, the player has to kick the ball over her head, then she turns around in mid-air... okay, you win. can you just do it? my designer sneakers are getting soggy. today, we make history. whoa! you were right! that's amazing! it's not how it was supposed to go. number of views: 202, 203, 204... ahh! i'm doomed. (thud)

♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ hey! hey, dw! hey! whoa...ed halfway around the world, all the way from dharamsala, india. the package was sent to me by my pen pal, tenzin wangdu. he's tibetan, and even though i've never met him, i think he's really cool! inside was a sweater made by his mom of real yak wool. yaks are a kind of shaggy cow at only lives in the himalayas. it was so soft! i put it on right away. it was a little big, but i didn't care. it was instantly my favorite sweater. it felt magical, like i could almost feel the snow from the himalayas around me. but a lot can change in a week. now when i look at that sweater, i don't think of tenzin or the himalayas or the yak that the wool came from. i only think about how mean people can be. (shivering) man, is it cold out there! i know. my ears are still frozen. (clanking) what you need is a pair of genuine yak wool earmuffs. where would i get those? from a tibetan pen pal, if you're lucky enough to have one.

♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ hey! hey, dw! hey! whoa...(shouts) step aside and see how it's done. (glass shatters) (gasps) hey guys, what are you doing? (loud bang) congratulations! you win! but all i did was eat a pretzel. that's exactly right. now, would you like the giant hippo or the giant panda? boy, you can get toys and prizes for doing anything these days. (squeaks) (laughing) mr. ratburn: through a new cloud computing-based internet technology partnership, lakewood elementary is instituting irp. what's irp? the independent readers project. it allows you to take computer quizzes on books you have read. more tests? these tests are strictly voluntary.

will surely come my way ♪ ♪ hey, hey, hey babies aren't fully developed until at least 39 weeks, whichweeks early can have breathing, feeding, and learning problems. if your pregnancy is healthy, wait for labor to begin on its own. a healthy baby is worth the wait. be out there! be out there! [female announcer] time was, kids did what came naturally, spending free time running barefoot through the grass, wading knee deep in streams, climbing to the tallest branch. but today, american kids are more likely found texting, watching tv, or gazing at a computer screen. they spend more than seven hours in front of electronic media. something essential has been lost. childhood's connection to the natural world. that's why national wildlife federation created the be out there movement. kids moving indoors causes a host of problems, from obesity to adhd. but outdoor play can go a long way to improving kid's health, body, mind and spirit. it helps them stay fit, enhances creativity and attention spans and could even make them better students. do your part. be a part of be out there. there's a rea

♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ ♪ hey! what a wonderful kind of day. ♪ hey! arthur: hey, d.w. hey! mr. ratburn. well, not exactly like him. no homework again, class! ( cheering ) i could be an accountant like mom. mr. crosswire, i got you a big tax refund. arthur, you're a genius! or a caterer, like dad. incoming! man ( over loudspeaker ): he's done it! arthur read has successfully completed history's biggest pepperoni pizza! yeah, i can imagine being just about anything except a piano player. ( discordant notes ) ( barks ) hi. ( band playing tune ) very good, everyone! ( pl

, hey, hey. - i'm gonna kill myself! you can't-- - you know what? i'm over it. let's just drink. - yeah. that's a really good i-- - you want a ham sandwich? - yes! [harmonica plays] - ♪ wonk wonk >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the "the "daily show"" with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ). captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the "daily show." my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight-- it's a good one-- jeremy renner. jeremy renner is going to be here for the new film "kill the messenger." man, is it a good story. first, remember the big financial crise, 2008? ( laughter ) if you remember tyou weren't there, man. ( laughter ) that was woodstock. anyway, it tanked the economy. well, when was the last time you got good and angry about it? want to? ( laughter ) all right. you asked for it. remember how we gift wrapped $184 billion to insurance giant a.i.g. to purchase that company's terrible mortgage bets so that their incompetence wouldn't become a global extin

hey! hey! hey! hey! [cheers and applause] thank you and welcome to the show! i'm terry crews.oklyn nine-nine! [cheers and applause] our first contestant is a person mixture of book-smart and street-smart. let's hope it pays off in a big way. from lagrange park, illinois, please welcome jennifer melvin! hi, jennifer! how are you? >> good, how are you? >> oh, good to see you. come over here. wow, jennifer. now i heard that your grandma used to let you play hooky? >> you shouldn't tell 'cause my mom's right there. >> oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. >> but she did. sometimes i'd wake up for school and she would just whisper, "we're not goin' today," and we'd hop on the train and go downtown and eat popcorn and go shopping, and she'd teach me how to hail cabs and directions, and, you know, life lessons. so for her it was like a lesson in how to do things, and independence, and it was good. >> you sound like you're a smart lady. you know what's goin' on. say hello to our millionaire money tree. >> okay. >> it's got a total of 14 questions spread over two rounds with money values from 100 bucks al

♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ ♪ hey! what a wonderful kind of day. ♪ hey! arthur: hey, d.w. hey!books, pal, and a soccer ball. buster would have snacks and someone to tell him jokes. i used to be a safe driver but who wants to drive a safe? ha, ha, ha. ( slurp ) muffy would bring everything she could. ( sighing ) mr. ratburn would take us with him! arthur has seven coconuts and buster has eight. how many coconuts is that? but we would all want to have... announcer: stay tuned for the bionic bunny show! tv... ( barking ) wait, come back! ribbit.

"hey, baby, you called? hey! just give me a second. i'll be right there!" you are like, "what!" [ laughter ] "what? come here. you have legs! call my phone! i can't stand you right now!" [ laughter and applause ] it's not love. i watched a couple the other night. this to me was kind of like the, i don't know, the antithesis of real, true love. there was a couple. they were married for ten years. and they were sitting -- this is unbelievable. i had like a visceral reaction watching this profile on tv, and they were looking through old photos together. and the wife says to her husband, "this is me when i was 5-years-old. my parents took me to disney world." and he was like, "oh, that's so cool! let me see that picture of you. like, this is crazy because i went to disney world when i was 5, and that looks like my dad in your picture. do you have other pictures?" so, yeah. they looked through a few more pictures, and sure enough, there's a picture of the two of them together standing side-by-side at 5-years-old. and they're almost shoulder to shoulder. she's al

hey when it's bout time to pay i'm a bail on these hey ♪ ♪ ay what you think we in the neighborhoode ♪ ♪ because by gones we gon' let em' be disrespect me ima catch a felony ♪ ♪ if you listen i can get you paid but not interested in you say ♪ ♪ if it ain't about the money don't be blowin' me ♪ ♪ up i ain't gettin' up if it ain't about the money ain't no use in you ♪ ♪ ringin' my line stop wastin' my time ♪ ♪ if it ain't about the money nah i can't even hear what you say i ♪ ♪ ain't finna do if it ain't about the money you can miss me with it miss me ♪ >>> this is "nightline." >>> tonight, movie theaters, rec centers, even lazy rivers. is it college or vacation? welcome to luxury university. with tube wix prices skyrocketing -- >> let's take a look. >> so are the perks. >> walk-in closet you can walk into. >> and tricked out campuses. is it really the best way to spend that money? >> i definitely think all dorms should be like this. >>> plus, deadliest catch. this job is not for the faint of heart. >> wipe that smile off your face! >> at the mercy of the weather and the waves. oh, an

hey! whoa, hey! hey! >> jimmy: next, there's "iheartpills radio."od. [ laughter ] after that, we have "5% tip calculator." [ laughter ] and finally, there's "flappy everything." because you know grandma gets -- [ laughter ] i think they're great. i think they're great apps. [ applause ] this is kind of cool. researchers in denmark have discovered a new type of sea creature that looks like a a mushroom. yeah, here it is. no. [ laughter ] one researcher was like, "actually, that kind of looks like a -- mushroom. [ laughter ] it looks like a mushroom." [ laughter and applause ] mushroom? here's a weird story here. a wildlife center in china revealed that one of its pandas actually faked her pregnancy so that she could get more food. [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. i guess zoo keepers knew she was faking when they caught her at a nightclub smoking. [ laughter ] and they go, "hey, i thought you said you were pregnant." it's just an e-cig. [ laughter ] i feel bad for this lady here. this week, a news station in southern ohio sent a report

never learned how to do --" [ cheers ] hey, hey, hi. [ laughter ] >> seth: they're actually -- they're. okay. [ laughter ] either way. yeah, but at one point we had to tape the japanese to hiro's chest, who played takeda. it was -- slightly embarrassing. >> seth: so, you're doing the scene -- he's not on camera. >> yeah, it would be like as if i was reading off of your chest. it's kind of awkward, kind of strange. [ laughter ] >> seth: does it look like you're looking the wrong way? >> no, it's just like a cheat sheet. you know, just a quick little -- little eye flicker. >> seth: now, i want to go back and watch your eyes go. >> exactly. >> seth: see, here i thought you were just constantly thinking and looking up, but you were just reading. >> it informed my performance. >> seth: you mentioned you're from canada. do you have a canadian dialect? do you have to hide it in the show? >> i've gotten pretty good at it, but everyone, especially if i've gone home for a little while, it comes out. there you go. [ laughter ] and -- and, yeah, it's so strange. like especially playing this charac

hey, hey, hey! >> jon: eat it up! eat it up! >> this is awesome.> jon: this story a barn burner. >> this is. >> jon: these are the types of movies i love because it exposes a story that even now is not well known. >> right. >> jon: for americans. this is about a journalist named gary web. >> yeah, yeah. >i grew up, like,70 miles from s happened. he's writing about something that happened 10 years preer prior to when he wrote it. not to call it old news, but it's something that took a lot of digging to find. and i knew nothing about it, and i'm from odessa, california, and he wrote it in sacramento and san jose. i new exwoght about it and i had san jose as my local paper. i was younger. maybe i didn't care. but it just kind of went away. >> jon: exactly. so this guy uncovers this idea that the c.i.a. is involved in the nicaraguan civil war on the side of the contras, and allowing drug dealers access to selling drugs in the united states so that money can be funneled into their military. >> right congress wanted nothing to do with funding that war. >

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hey.for being on the show, man. appreciate it. >> sure. >> jimmy: we should hang out soon. >> i'd like that, yeah. >> jimmy: how about tonight? >> i can't. i have a dinner thing tonight. but tomorrow's good. >> jimmy: hm. date night with the wife. friday? >> friday i have to take my fish to the doctor. >> jimmy: oh, no, the vet? >> the shrink. >> jimmy: how about saturday? >> saturday, no can do. i'm getting a haircut then growing it back out again. >> jimmy: sunday? >> sunday, i can't because i'm alphabetizing my testicles. how's monday? >> jimmy: i'd love to, but i'm starting a blog on hummus. >> oh, that's cool. how's tuesday then? >> jimmy: catching up on "law & order." >> which season? >> jimmy: all of them. never seen the show. >> oh, you're gonna have a a blast. >> jimmy: what about wednesday at 4:00 am? >> i can't on wednesday, i'm braiding my landlord's hair. how about thursday? >> jimmy: i have to ride an elephant thursday. >> you have to? >> jimmy: don't ask. friday? >> friday,

hey, guys. >> hey, marcus. >> how are you? it's very busy. >> and the brothers are now working as a team. and how about--is jon-- is he still beating on you? >> a little bit here and there. >> yeah, right? >> he's still my little brother. i'm actually in the process of opening three other locations. >> he's definitely embraced the process, and we're better for it. >> the business was actually in dire straits before marcus came. after marcus came, business increased substantially, and the profits margins increased as well. >> well, you were making about $1,000 a car before. how much are you making now per car? >> 2,000 now. >> wow. to date, i've invested over a million dollars into this business. now i'm taking the car cash brand, and opening up locations all over the country. >> where do i get started? what do i gotta do? i'm interested. >> we have 70 locations, a national 1-800 number. and our brand, 1-800 car cash, is quickly becoming one of the largest auto buying services in america. we're even the national car buying serv

hey! hey, hey! hey! [laughs] oh! hello and welcome to millionaire. thank you, everybody.know me from brooklyn nine-nine, and i'm lucky enough to also be here hosting millionaire. [cheers and applause] we need to get our first contestant some cash fast. she's nine months pregnant and about to give birth, like, any minute. [laughter] from aberdeen, new jersey, please welcome micah wiginton! [cheers and applause] >> hi. >> oh. [both laugh] how you doing? >> good, thank you. >> how are you? come on, mommy. >> thank you. >> wow. >> hi. >> you're--when are you due? like in a second? >> 2 1/2 weeks. yeah, so we do need to get this show on the road. >> okay. >> i'm pretty excited. [laughter] i don't really want to have it, like, right now. >> well, okay, if you win big money, please promise me, promise me you will not go into labor, okay? >> i'll do my best. [both laugh] >> all right, well, let's get this going. say hello to our millionaire money tree, 14 questions spread over two rounds with money values going from 100 bucks all the way up to $1 million. >> ah, yeah!

hey, come here, come here. >> you can't handle this. >> hey, jelly. snow woman, up in new york city show, a friend put a camera in his back pack, right? sticking out his backment nobody can see it. and he walks in front of her. she walking through the streets of new york. this is just one day. she got cat called a hundred times. >> wow, wow. what's up girl? how you doing? >> i mean, i guess it is nice, hey beautiful counts as cat calls, then yes, we've all been subject today, that but why is it put together like this? >> look at this one, in other words, he's been walking here for four minutes. that's five minutes. >> it is like almost assault at this point. i mean, i'm being a little dramatic here, but really creepy and gross. when you look at it like that, all piled up against one another, it is cents like a hazard walking down the streets even. >> how about the one, god bless mama. >> the one time, like within the first week that i got here, i was walking down the street with my parents, and this car drove past, stopped, reversed, entire block, bac