hey, world, here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hey world the world the world hey world the worldnd applause ] >> jimmy: hey world, the other day i plucked an inch long hair from my earlobe. an inch long hair from my earlobe, world. that shouldn't be possible. [ cheers and applause ] >> hey, world. i truly think that diarrhea is a beautiful word. [ laughter ] and i would not rule out naming my daughter or son diarrhea. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, world, my doctor told me i have acid reflux and i shouldn't eat spicy foods before i go to sleep. but the other night i ate a giant bowl of penne in bed and then put the bowl on my end table and fell asleep. i loved it! [ cheers and applause ] >> hey, world, when i was five i did not understand what hard boiled eggs were. i thought they were going to hatch, so i took some and i put them in a bush in my backyard. and for days i brought them water and food. and i would sing to them. and then i went outside and they were covered in maggots and i screamed for my dad and i watched as he shoveled away my children. [ chee

>> hey, hey, stephen colbert! >> stephen: you like to come up here and be profound, too?tely. it's one of my top 37 places to be masculine, yet poetic. hey, stephen? >> stephen: yeah, matthew? >> where do you think we go when we die? >> stephen: us? celebrity heaven. ( laughter ) it's like regular heaven, but there's gift baskets. ( laughter ) hey, matt? >> yeah, steve? >> stephen: do you think god cares who wins the super bowl? >> no. and if he did, then the saints would have won. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: that ref is going to hell. ( laughter ) >> check out george jetson. >> stephen: oh, beautiful. hey, mr. mcconaughey? >> what's up, dr. colbert? >> stephen: do you think time is subjective? >> like, for example, do i think i get older, but high school girls stay the same age? ( laughter ) >> stephen: yeah. >> nah, sounds creepy. >> stephen: hey, matty mc-c.? >> yo, stevie col-b.? >> stephen: how do we know if we've made the right choices in life? >> that's a good one. you know, i say human potential is like an empty road at night. you don't know if you're on

hey, look, we're on that tv thing. hey, look at that, hey! excuse me. it says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. well, i'm not completely satisfied. listen, it's kind of an emergency. well, i guess you'd know that or we'd be in the predicament room. ( laughing ) hold on. fill these out. sit over there. look, i don't want to make any trouble but i'm in a lot of pain. my face is dented. you'll have to wait your turn. how long do you think it'll be? any minute now. hey, miss... uh... oh... i'm so sorry, you guys. i didn't mean to bring you down. no, you were right-- i don't have a plan. ( knocking at door ) pizza guy! oh, thank god. food! phoebe? what? do you have a plan? i don't even have a "pla." hi. one mushroom, green pepper and onion? no, no... no, that's not what we ordered! we ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese! wait. you're not g. stephanopoulos? man, my dad's going to kill me! wait! did you say g. stephanopoulos? yeah. this one goes across the street. i must have given him yours. bonehead! bonehead!

hey baxter. hi sweetheart.ou remind me to give baxter his flea and tick treatment next wee dad, can youemind me to remind mom about the flea and tick thing. remind me to remind sarah remind mom about the flea and tick thing. i'll remind you remind sarah... sureyou can try to remember the flea and tick treatment every month, or you can go to youvet and get... bravecto, the only continuous protection that lasts up to 12 weeks with just one tasty chew. do you remember where we parked the car? so you don't have to remember. bravecto, only from your vet. it's kinda like paying mored for...gourmet chicken nuggets. i don't wanto do that. then try sparkle®. spend less on your everyday little mess. sparkle®. make the bright choice™. is your body wash gentle on ymicro...obiome? microbio? microbiome. biome? ...or deom? microbiome. i actually don even know what that is. mmmm. it's like a... ...protective layer. yeah. kind of like a barrier. obviously, there to help... ...so, we do have to protect it. your microbiome protec

hey mercedes, can you make it a little cooler in here? [ a-class ] i am setting the temperature [ a-class ] to 68 degrees. we hear you. we made a car that does, too. the all-new a-class.

>> hey, how are you? >> hey, how you doing? >> i'm marcus. >> steven. >> both: nice to meet you. >> is this your car? >> no, no, we're wholesaling them. >> wholesaling them? you buy cars from them? >> yes. >> how many do you buy a month? >> 40 to 50. something around that number. >> that's what you're buying? >> yeah. >> wholesalers are a broker who stand in the middle of a transaction. they buy cars from jon, they mark up the price, and they sell it to a dealer. why do we need middlemen around here? how often is he here? >> my friend steven? >> mm-hmm. >> all the time. he's actually a wholesaler. i sell most of my cars to him. >> why? >> um, because i trust him very much. he's a good friend of mine. >> but the issue that i have is that you're giving up the spread. what did you put on the car? >> uh, 8,000. >> what did steven pay you for it? >> 8,500. >> this car will retail for what? >> i'd say-- >> 12,900? >> 12--i was gonna say, 12,999, yeah. >> how much margin is that, in between you and the final customer? >> 8,500 to 12,9

hey, penny-wise, hey, hey, it's me, your brother. hey, let's go take some kids out, eh? boo. no, i'm fin, richie the kid with the glasses, i'm him. >> jimmy: oh, older. interesting. are you a big stephen king fan in general? >> yeah, i did like stephen king. you know what? his books got -- i loved them when i was in high school. i still read his books, but they're super long. >> jimmy: right. >> they're really long! >> jimmy: he just writes and writes and writes. >> it 2 is a thousand pages. and then you read interviews with him, i was on a lot of cocaine, you know. and you could tell in the movie. we're all here because a guy. >> jimmy: how can you tell exactly? what are the signs? [ laughter ] >> talking like this, faster, faster, dialogue, faster. no, but he -- his books, his books, i don't like descriptions of food. >> jimmy: really? >> and it's five pages of things to not like. do you like descriptions of food? >> jimmy: if i'm going to eat it, yeah. >> but the you're reading a book and instead of he ate a cheeseburger. >> jimmy: never gave it a thought, really. why

hey, guys, listen to this.w "star wars" theme park, and they're promising -- [ audience oohs ] and they're promising a fully physical and immersive experience. so, kids, get ready for a ride where dad cuts your hand off. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] "luke, i --" and finally, i read that florida's clearwater beach was just voted the best beach in america. [ cheers ] yeah. and as soon as i just said that, it just became the worst beach in america. [ laughter and applause ] there you go. guys -- [ cheers and applause ] now everyone's gonna go. guys, today is friday. that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, return some e-mails, and of course, i send out thank you notes. and i was just running a bit -- [ cheers and applause ] i was running a bit behind today. so i thought if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool with you guys? [ cheers and applause ] james, can i get some thank you note writing music please,

hey. hey. hey. hey. >> it starts pushing the car out of the way. do something. >> man! >> that's not the only car that was damaged. because there were four cars in between two of these armored personnel carriers. it was mush, mush, mush. >> whoever is driving that armored car is an idiot. >> the good news is no one was injured in all of this. >>> in eastern india, this could have been avoided. >> is he riding? >> that's not a hood ornament. that's a police officer or security. >> that is a police officer. the man driving this car was parking illegally, got caught. the driver's like i'm going to take off. people in the car are saying pull over. pull over. the driver just keeps going. >> going fast as well. >> he did eventually stop the car. the officer was able to get off of the car. the man was arrested and his car was seized. >> next time just park and take the ticket. it would have been so much cheaper, so much less stress. and you have your car. >>> she's up to something. >> hi. >> what were you eating? >> apples. >> why is your face brown? >> they're brown apples. >

hey, ian.trade, we can walk you through your options trades step by step until you're comfortable. i could be up for that. that's taking options trading from wall st. to main st. hey guys, wanna play some pool? eh, i'm not really a pool guy. what's the hesitation? it's just complicated. step-by-step options trading support from td ameritrade >>> time for some spring training every night i take your questions about individual stocks when that happens, i tell you i'll do the homework so i can come back to you with a more considered answer. but it's been an eventful six months, which is why we're behind hence the need to do some housekeeping let's get to it. on november 26th, paul in texas asked me abevbd. this one just got away from me paul in texas had a good idea, i waited too long to circle back on it. ever bridge is a cloud based software company that helps customers respond to emergencies, like active shooter situations, and terrorist attacks. basically, when something goes wrong, the platfo

>> all: hey! >> jimmy: i know you guys. cook here? >> we all help out. >> jimmy: everybody just pointing at you. you're very humble. we all know that. i used to live down the street. this is in hell's kitchen right here. engine 54. i used to walk by on sunday afternoons after a long night out at "saturday night live." i used to come by and all of the guys would just -- we would talk back and forth about the show. and like, "hey, when are you going to get funny," and stuff like that. we joke and they're like, "oh, that one joke was all right." you know? i just always appreciated, you guys so much. do you mind showing me the riding list? >> yeah, the riding list, sure, no problem. go ahead, after you. >> so, the riding list basically entails who has which position on each apparatus. >> and these two were preserved from 9/11. and, as you can see, it still says 9/10. they didn't get to erase the 9/10 and change it to 9/11. but the notes -- we always write notes on the side so there was some condition going down. and these are t

don't shoot. >> oh, no. >> he is like, hey, hey, hey, calm down. he is firing a shot.tly to scare the elephants away. the elephants move on. >> you can imagine being a surgeon in the operating room and having to do surgery while looking over your shoulder for some big bruiser to come take you out? >> these people have it all under control. >> they did. eventually, they were able to finish the job. here you got some wild dogs. something is about to happen. they see a high hyena. he spotted a pack of wild dogs. they are ready to engage the mama and baby. she's outnumbered. >> she's holding her own. >> that's not the only baby. watch. >> get back in the den for security. >> cthis is a posturing techniqe by the dog. mama was not alone. there were three young ones with her that you see in the video. she was without her pack to help protect her if a real dust up began. >> what up, dog? >> here is a very special little girl. hold on to your heart. she might steal it. >> the story i'm about to tell you is about a small family in ohio. a caring neighbor and a beautiful girl wit

hey, hey! hey! >> was it meant to make me sleep with the ilights on last night? which i did?nd the television? >> all those things at once. that's the power of the movie. you leave and you're uncomfortable. >> the movie is the first since he won an oscar for "get out" last year. in this he may have topped himself. >> if we can give people a cheat sheet, what would that be? >> i desiam to take a audience's expectations and use them against the audience. >> who are you people? >> it's us. >> go see it. it is a warm family comedy with some light rom manhattanics. it's a feel-good romp. >> a romp? not exactly. it's getting rave reviews for combining who who, thought provoking drama and comedy. >> you're going to be sore from holding your shoulders up, but you're going to feel love. >> it's true. oh, my god, i was going like this the entire movie. i couldn't. any way, lieu fee and winston not only have big screen connections they have a school one. they both attended the yale school of drama. just like this. i know, i'm crazy. >>> the jonas brothers made a return to the charts. th

hey, good for you for trying. >> oh, my goodness. what a mess. >> maybe they were trying to slide them into the space. and then the car slowed down. >> like curling with cars. >> in fortunately no one hurt in this situation of sliding cars. a bummer when that happens. nothing you can do about it. >> i have seen both of you roll your eyes so far back, you want to hear something obnoxious, but never have you done anything like this. ♪ >> my mom would say, you're going to stay like that if you keep doing it. >> no, they don't. and they keep doing it. he's clearly an expert on cbs's "the world's best." >> checking out chicks on both sides of the room. >> some people might say that. other people are calling this a fake. maybe there's an ophthalmologist out there to let us know if this is even possible. >> it fooled me because it looks real. >> it's entertaining. >> john las been keeping a big secret from his lady. >> now it's time to confess. >> see the moment he comes clean to reveal one shocking surprise. >>> plus this little piggy is r

hey, hey, hey. lemonis: what's happening, guys? man: bud, how you doing?ward with mass-producing jennifer's sauces, but i also want to see how open-minded the family is to other ideas, so i'm taking them to a meat co-packer to see if there's a way to take her recipes and some of her ideas and get them into the prepared food sections of grocery stores. and ultimately, whether or not jennifer's on-board with co-packing her meat, i just want her to be more open to ideas and see what their process is, and i particularly want to see how chandler's going to handle this. so, i wanted to bring you to beef international to explore how to potentially package and distribute pre-prepared foods. jennifer: okay. tarantino: our job is to figure out from you what makes you different, and what do you want to see us replicate? and we need to narrow in and hone down that flavor profile, that texture, that taste, and the cost effectiveness to be able to distribute it. lemonis: kevin, can we give them a full tour of what happens in the back and how the process works? kevin: ye

hey, hey, hey, hey. >> as for that ring, j.ted to be worth over $1 million. number two, jussie smollett enters a plea in a chicago court room. the "empire" star accused of staging a hate crime and falsifying a police report. he's due back in court april 17th. number one, felicity huffman and lori loughlin among those arrested in a college admission bribery scandal, accused of paying into a scam that would get their kids into elite universities. both were in custody before appearing in an l.a. court and posting bail. their next court appearance is march 29th in boston. >> it doesn't seem like you've had very many pitfalls. >> thank you very much. we've had our moments. >> for the latest go to etonline.com. >>> sandy? >> tell me about it. >> so iconic. who didn't want to be bad girl sandy by the end of "grease"? lucky for us olivia newton-john is sharing untold stories in her new memoir "don't stop believing." >> olivia revealed how she's thriving in the midst of her third breast cancer diagnosis. >> how are you? good to have you

carrie lynn. >> hey. hey! hey, baby. >> you can tell she's like, that first blink, you know the slow-motion blink, glassy eyes, she's tired. >> her mom, you can hear her in the background talking. >> no pictures? >> that never happens. kids see a camera, they pose. this girlwae lt >>one. m, yo'd know why. they capture all her cute moments. at this point she's just had enough. >> aww. >> let's move over to her giggles are priceless and it's a two for one. >> are you going to interview her? you can get the dog to watch her and she can watch the dog and dad can get 20 minutes' rest. >>> cooks having fun out and about in oregon. it's a bit snowy. >> just a little bit. >> yeah, yeah. he's actually doing a twitch stream right now. live broadcasting, trying to make his away around. >> if it does fall on me, here's what i do -- >> i was unclear what he was talking about. then, well, the video makes it very, very clear. >> holy [ bleep ]. oh ho ho! did you see that? >> it snaps in half, halfway up the trunk. of course

oh, hey! kevin: oh, hi. lemonis: how are you? jill: hey. do you think we ran into? how are you? jill: good. lemonis: yeah, again. isn't that a small world? jill: yes. lemonis: i told you she was lurking. that's ironic that she's here. kevin: yes. you know what? lemonis: she seems to always be lurking, though. kevin: yes. lemonis: maybe she thought grace was here. kevin: [ laughs ] could be. lemonis: look, the renovations are underway to build the prototype for the soup market in bay view. i gave them instructions to remodel the entire front of the store. but now i'm wondering if i didn't jump in too quickly after what i just learned about the situation with grace. but all i can do now is tackle this thing head-on, and if he isn't straight with me, i'll take my losses from the renovation out front, and he will never see me again. okay. so, i went to hales corner. while i was there, some woman comes barging in, rushes by the counter, and i actually said, "ma'am, you cannot go back there." she said, "yes, i can. i'm grace." so, that's number o

pick up the board, you'll be fine. >> hey! hey! >> just quit. >> he's like, oh. >> yeah. like he's going to be okay. he's like all right. then from there, better luck next time. >> no. no. no next time. quit while you're behind. go. ♪ >>> this is a river in ontario, canada. as we know, far north it's quite cold. that poor deer is stuck in the river. one thing we know about fire departments around the world, they come to the rescue no matter how bad the weather is, you know help is on the way. they got a phone call about the deer. they get to work. they start deploying all that they got. they got this raft they're about to inflate. they want to slide out there because that ice, some of it is slushy. some of it is full ice, some of it is water. the deer is like, you know what? i'm scared. i'm still going to try to fight to get out. while they're looking on, the deer is like, i have to get out of here. i have to get out of here. >> it's pretty wobbly on its legs. >> christian, it's still wobbly. look how icy and slick it is. four hooves going in four different directions. >>

oh, hey. kevin: oh, hi. lemonis: how are you? jill: hey.ou? jill: good. lemonis: yeah, again. isn't that a small world? jill: yes. lemonis: i told you she was lurking. amber: it's so creepy. she just shows up. i think dave's wife was following us. she just shows up everywhere. she's everywhere. lemonis: look, the renovations are underway to build the prototype for the soup market back at bay view. i gave them instructions to remodel the entire front of the store, but now i'm wondering if i didn't jump in too quickly after what i just learned about the situation with grace, but all i could do now is tackle this thing head on, and if he isn't straight with me, i'll take my losses from the renovation out front, and he will never see me again. amber: pause. how much did you spend here? lemonis: on the renovation? amber: yeah. lemonis: 100 grand. amber: so all this stuff is happening with the weirdness of grace and the wife showing up at random places... lemonis: yep. amber: ...and dave being dave. lemonis: mm-hmm. amber: and you still put $100,

hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?!t?? what?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪ we all care about amazing taste. that's why we've been making the best mayonnaise for over 100 years. hellmann's.he we're on t side of food. seaonly abreva cany to help sget rid of it in... ...as little as 2 1/2 days when used at the first sign. abreva starts to work immediately to block the virus and protect healthy cells. abreva acts on it. so you can too. i'myou pick it up. up. i'm not picking it up. well, somebody's gotta pick it up. i'll pick it up. they're clean! ♪ cuz my hiney's clean ♪ oh yeah, i'm charmin clean ow ♪ that's how i hey're clean ♪lty hiney's clean (vo) charmin u strong is woven like a wash cloth and just cleans better. ♪ yeah, i'm charmin clean th kid does have a point. (vo) enjoy the go with charmin. and for an extra clean finish, try charmin flushabl

don't go anywhere. >> maybe it's universal, maybe it's basic income later. >> hey, hey, hey.acceptable and that's the difference between me and trump. ♪ limu emu & doug mmm, exactly! liberty mutual customizes your car insurance, so you only pay for what you need. nice! but uh, what's up with your partner? oh! we just spend all day telling everyone how we customize car insurance because no two people are alike, so... limu gets a little confused when he sees another bird that looks exactly like him. ya... he'll figure it out. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ heartburn and gas? ♪ fight both fast tums chewy bites with gas relief all in one relief of heartburn and gas ♪ ♪ tum tum tum tums tums chewy bites with gas relief i've always been amazed and still going for my best, even though i live with a higher risk of stroke due to afib not caused by a heart valve problem. so if there's a better treatment than warfarin... i want that too. eliquis. eliquis is proven to reduce stroke risk better than warfarin. plus has significantly less major bleeding

>> jon: hey diddle, diddle. cat and the fiddle. >> stephen: but trump is not the only republican speaking out against the green new deal. so is utah senator and driver's ed teacher who's about to become your stepdad, mike lee. yesterday, during a debate on the green new deal, lee offered a novel solution to global warming. >> mr. president, this is the real solution to climate change: babies. the solution to so many of our problems at all times and in all places is to fall in love, get married, and have some kids. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i like babies. i like babies. i've made babies. some of my bit of friends were once babies. but getting married and making baby says solution to all our problems at all times and in all places? (as car mechanic) : "well, i'll tell you what's going on here, mr. jones, your transmission is shot. it's going to cost you $800 for me to fix it, or you could make an honest woman out of bethany. she looks fertile. yeah, yeah, i'd do it." ( applause ) ( cheers ) i do like babies. i love

-hey, campbells. who's your new maid?time now on this monday march 18, 2019. good morning, everyone i'm eyang. >> i'm aaron gilchrist. police are looking for this man. he's wanted in connection with the shooting death of his uncle and wounding a woman early yesterday morning in lanham. >> right now lawmakers are adding pressure to the national park service to pick potholes o major d.c. roadways. according to news partners at wtop, the national park service half es it has less than the money it needs to fix all the potholes. now let's check on your commute with melissa mollet and first4traffic. good morning, melissa. >> good morning. speaking of potholes, parkway has a lot of them, seeing slowdowns. after 216 daytona beach with the right lane b at skaggs. beltway looks okay. monrovia new near market, a crashnd we are seeing delays there too, aaron. >>> thank you. outhis week we're helping make sure your credit is on the right track purchase consumer reporter susan hogan will show you what to bthe lookout for when reviewing

yeah yeah hey hey hey hey hey ♪ ♪ move me baby shake like the bough of a willow tree you do it naturally the sadistic strength trainer? his ikea dresser helps him organize his... equipment? woo! be the morning person you're not. the one with the designer dog collar.(sashimi) psst. hey, you! wondering how i upgraded to this sweet pad? a 1,200-square-foot bathroom, and my very own spa. all i had to do was give my human "the look". with wells fargo's 3% down payment on a fixed-rate loan and a simpler online application, getting into my dream home was easier than ever. get your human to visit wellsfargo.com/woof. what would she do without me? (music throughout) now that kate and joe have been sleeping on an ikea mattress, joe's suddenly into making everyone's morning easier. i made you breakfast. i also made the kids lunch and i made myself a mixtape. and it's good. oh! be the morning person you're not. the butter. >>> "good morning america" is sponsored by carmax. >> a beautiful way to start the week. thank you all very much. thank you, thank you, thank you. >>> what to you have today? >> y

. >> hey, hey!er: for acclaimed writer-director jordan peele, it's the eerie image that sets the scene for "us". >> they're standing there, waiting for you to make the move or something. you don't know. and then finally, when they do come, the pit of your stomach is supposed to drop out from under itself. >> reporter: so it does over and again during "us." the 40 year old peele deploying the skills he showed in 2017's "get out", a process savage new fright scape. >> she is a woman who is riddled by this trauma from her childhood that she just can't shake off. >> reporter: peele using the pure sensations of horror to challenge his audience's mind set. why is this kind of genre film the perfect place for you to explore your ideas? >> i love horror, because it gets a visceral reaction. and it makes you feel first. art that makes you feel ends up making you think. >> reporter: much to discuss, he admits its bloodbaths, peele once again serves up a social critique. >> they look exactly like us. >> report

hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?!(laughing) what?? what?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪ heyi'm craving somethingkin! we're missing. the ceramides in cerave. they help restore my natural barrier, so i can lock in moisture... and keep us protected. we've got to have each other's backs... and fronts. cerave. what your skin craves. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back to "the late! my next guest is an actress and playwright whose hit show, "what the constitution means to me" just moved to broadway. please welcome heidi schreck! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> stephen: well, thanks for being here. this show is-- is fascinating. you wrote this play, it premiered off broadway. it became a massive hit, and now it's coming to broadway. got it right here. there you go. it's "what the constitution means to me." at the helen hayes theater. fi

hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?!at?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... beproom mayhem... like me. ♪ chili's 3our signatureents sirloin steak. aged to perfection and served with a starter and drink for just $10. dinner with mom, dad, grandma and her friend randy, who seems to be a little more than a friend. together we chili's. i'm missing out on our family outings because i can't find a bladder leakage product that fits. everything was too loose. but depend® fit-flex feels tailored to me. with a range of sizes for all body types. depend® fit-flex underwear is guaranteed to be your best fit. we'll take great care of him we get it you got it oh! thank you we're petsmart thank you we're hugging ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a tony-nominated actor you know "the book of mormon," "hamilton," and hbo's "girls." please welcome back to "the late

hey, add on a wi we'll take it. the capitals playing their part in getting that much closer to secung their playoff spot washington needed some help tonight. didn't get any. t they are still waiting to clinch that berth and the caps coming away with a crucial win against potentially the team they'll face in the first round. now to the bobble head d.c.'s waited for evgeney "the bird man" kuznetsov. he was the assist man kuze over to t.j.sh oshie. oputs it in. a beautiful pat from kuznetsov. sits the goalie andhe defender. 100th goal as a ce them a 1-0 lead. alex ovechkin two goals away from 50. tom wilson with the feed, ovi with the rocket. at is number 49 on the season. ovi now ju one goal away from his eighth career 50-goal seasonth only two o players have ever done that. caps take a 2-1 lead. now later in the period, caps not done.n lofor some breathing room. orlov to john carlson for the goal. carly gets his 400 point of his career in thise. on kuznetsov with three assists on his bobble head night. caps get the w

hey, al. >> hey, guys, good morning.ama has already started helping serve system of the volunteers here at the providence baptist church. but first let's talk about rain. a lot of rain down where they normally don't get it that much this time of the year. we're talk about heavy rain in central and southern florida. rain train coming across a low level jet bringing heavy rain there anywhere from four to six inches of rain in parts of southern florida, into central florida, and we've got cold air coming in. you know, spring begins coming up on wednesday. it starts at 5:56. we're looking at temperatures well below average for new york all the way down into chicago, miami, charleston, on into new orleans and really as we go in towards the end of next week, this week i should say, we'll see temperatures trying to rebound. spring begins wednesday, 5:58 p.m. eastern time. . >>> good morning, i'm meteorologist kari hall. beautiful start to the day, with mostly sunny skies, san jose will see the sun continue going into the aftern

"mad money" starts now hey, i'm cramer welcome to "mad money. welcome to cramerica other people want to make friends. i'm just trying to make you some money. my job is not just to entertain, but to educate, teach and put it in context call me at no. or tweet me @jimcramer. i spent the last week warning you about how this wave of major ipos could cause a lot of collateral damage for the rest of the market as money managers sell their current holdings to pay for this hot new merchandise. but there is another dimension to this story. it's a much more positive one. the dow gained 92 points, s&p climbed 6.3% nasdaq 6.4%. it started with levi's last night and lyft tomorrow. i think we could be looking at maybe the biggest run of ipos in the history of the stock market with a host of household names, companies collectively worth about a trillion dollars it will make owning individual stocks a lot more attractive than they have been in some time, at least until we get to the end of the run you got to understand, we live in a world where half of all new

hey! hey! fix your own damn dinner!un-huh. >> get out. >> good luck. >>> a driver's dash cam captures a shocking scene and -- >> to him this is the worst possible thing. >> how a quick double take reveals the dangerous moment next. >> triple zero. >> oh. >>> plus -- david is put to the ultimate test. >> what do you want to know? >> which one is it? >> the lie detector is digging up the dirt coming up. >> rate your best to worst friend. >> no, that could be a problem for him. at olive garden. all new never ending stuffed pastas starting at $12.99. pick your favorite stuffed pasta, sauce and topping. it's all never ending. all new never ending stuffed pastas. only for a limited time, at olive garden. i'm a close talker. so, i was excited about all-new colgate total. it's breakthrough formula does more. sensitivity... strengthens teeth... it kills germs through my whole mouth. i like your confidence. all-new colgate total. this is charlie not coughing because he took delsym 12-hour. and this is charlie still not coughing w

. >> hey, hey, hey. >> getting up with that. >> you hear the crowd just turn >> i would throw my money. when i tell you -- i was the first person she thought about. you know well. >> why did they turn the heat up? >> this video has people on the internet going wild. at the end of the video, they put their hands together. look, it doesn't have to go haywire when you get a bright idea and come together. >> look at that. >> that was fun. i wasn't even at the wedding. >> nick is taking us along on his date. he is a proponent of microfic microfishing. it's kind of fun. >> i'm imagining that little kid game. >> yes. >> it's no -- he is using a tiny rod. he cuts himself a nice hole. he gets fishing. >> you have to be kidding. >> a new trend. he has himself a little fish. head back into the pond. he posted a series of time lapses of him sitting there waiting for the fish to grab a bite. do you spot anything? >> the water is melting under him. it's like the ice is sinking from his weight. >> the pond is frozen. it's not as frozen as he thinks it is. >> as soon as he stands up, that ice is compl

that's not bad. [ applause ] >> questlove: hey, hey, jimmy, i got one.ight, fiber one was like, "you'll get so drunk you'll actually want to eat fiber one." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's pretty good, quest. immy, i got one. >> jimmy: sure, mark, go ahead. >> tony the tiger was like, "youuuuuuuu're -- -- up!" [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> steve: i never. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: and finally, y i guys -- th't good. there is a fake little caesars coupon scam going around online. the only thing sadder than using a coupon for little caesars is hearing the cashier y, "sir, this is fake." [ laughter and applause ] guys, earlier thiss eek, weezer our show. we love weezer. [ cheers and applause ] they have a new album called "the black album." they have another new album called "the teal album", which is all cover songs. and it's fantastic.d ile they were here, we stepped into the "tonight show" music room. so the roots and i grabbed some clsroom instruments, and w did our own version of one of the tracks they cover on their new album. the 1984 a-ha so

hey, hey, hey, hey! hey! >> jimmy: "us" opens in theaters a week from friday. that's it, that's it. >> jimmy: and in a way, you're from a very small place. so you're bigger. >> i haven't been back since "black panther." >> jimmy: back in tobago, do they watch "friends"? what was your favorite? >> "friends" was one of them. "golden girls", "fresh prince". >> jimmy: are you a blanch? >> a sophia. >> jimmy: what would you do for fun growing up there? >> oh, my god, almost everything. so we lived on the beach pretty much. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> get up, wake up in the morning, walk out onto the beach. get screamed at, you know. >> jimmy: by who? >> by parents and stuff. so folklore is like a big thing in the caribbean. >> jimmy: okay. >> so it's like intermixed into the culture. so i grew up hearing stuff like if the ocean ever talks to you, don't listen, and don't go in. it was like, okay. >> jimmy: i think that's good advice, by the way. >> it's good advice. >> jimmy: it means you're high and you shouldn't be swimming. >> there's people, stories of a woman whose

♪ >> hey, tom. >> hey, marcus. >> hey, you know what i wanted to do, is i wanted to go over that tailgateetting sorted out, i wanted to head back to tampa to see what tom and nancy were working on. i gave them the task of coming up with a new product, and them working together is important to me. >> all right, let me pull up the file here. >> and so did you do the sketches on these? >> yeah, i did the sketches on these. i did a-a-- >> hey, guys. we got to have a little conference here. hey, do me a favor. walk through the shop there and grab the guys, okay? real quick, i want to go ahead and pass this out and let everybody take a look at it, okay? and then we're gonna go into some [bleep] right now. you see, this is a customer service order. there's an imaginary tammy that works for this company, in one of our dealers, that he will not allow me to meet. whose phone number is tammy's? whose number is this on tammy's piece of paper. >> why don't you call your dealer? >> just so we all know, tom's girlfriend has been workin' in this company for three [bleep] years! i have so much proof right

lemonis: hey, guys. skyler: hey, marcus. charlotte: hey, marcus. charlotte: hey. good to see you.at's in? skyler: yep. lemonis: what's left to come? skyler: so, there's 12 more designs that are coming. lemonis: uh-huh. the fact that we're a week away from the t-mobile launch has me feeling pretty anxious, so i wanted to head to the 3pl just for a little insurance to make sure that every last detail is handled. skyler: spent a lot of time looking at different 3pl facilities. we found that this was actually a really good deal for us in addition to the convenience. lemonis: so, what are the economics? skyler: so it would be $2.70 plus 10 cents per -- lemonis: $2.70 per item? skyler: no, for the first item, to get the box. lemonis: so, i need to think about the pricing as the action to come over to do it and then any incremental action is 10 cents. skyler: yes. lemonis: $2.70 feels high to me. you know what it is? charlotte: well, is it the -- lemonis: it's $2.35? so, what's the pricing, now? edward: so i believe it's $2.35. lemonis: okay. so why did you think it was $2.70? skyler: i

hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?!ere to steal your car because, well, that's my job. what? what?? what?! (laughing) what?? what?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪ [laughter] ♪ ♪ "i'm okay." ♪ ♪ woman: this is your wake-up call. if you have moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis, month after month, the clock is ticking on irreversible joint damage. ongoing pain and stiffness are signs of joint erosion. humira can help stop the clock. prescribed for 15 years, humira targets and blocks a source of inflammation that contributes to joint pain and irreversible damage. vo: humira can lower your ability to fight infections. serious and sometimes fatal infections including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. tell your

>> so -- hey, hey, hey.fference between me and trump. >> that's good. i appreciate that. >> now, back to the actual issue. back to the actual issue. we, you do not wave a wand and press it all at once, but we can have these priorities, and i absolutely agree with you on that. however, this is the way political opposition works. they don't say no. they say maybe, um, who, ha. >> the walk. >> here is the thing is i get that in our political context in the history of health care, in the history of labor rights, in the history of women's rights, these are long struggles and generational struggles and that is something important for young activists, as well. we're not the first. we will not be on the last. we stand on the shoulders of giants, but climate change is different because we have an expiration date, and the ippc report says we've got 12 years to turn it around. 12 years. so my concern is that we are going to be the frog in the pot of boiling water, and we are goi going to debate and debate and debate an

hey. hey. hey.e, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> seth: hi, winston. how are you? >> i'm good. i'm good. [ chrs and applause ] >> seth: that was a -- that was a genuine high-pitched shriek for me. >> yes. yes. >> seth: because i have -- they sent me a link to watch thmo e but i feel like i want to see it in a theater, and the pr iere is tomorrow. and i'm thinking i'm gonna wait for that. are you going to try? have you seen it in a theater with people, yet? >> i've seen it now three times and two of them havewith people. and it's that kind of communal - experience whe >> seth: yeah. >> -- horror is something you don't really want to take on alone. >> seth: right >> yeah. [ laughter ] so, watching it at home --- >> seth: and this so much more fun to -- >> yes. be screaming with eryone else and crying and, you know, laughing with everyone else, then going to see it with a black audience, that's another thing. you know? [ laughter and applause ]o like, "don'twn there, girl. why you do that? i

hey, ian.ou know, at td ameritrade, we can walk you through your options trades step by step until you're comfortable. i could be up for that. that's taking options trading from wall st. to main st. hey guys, wanna play some pool? eh, i'm not really a pool guy. what's the hesitation? it's just complicated. step-by-step options trading support from td ameritrade >>> welcome back to "options action." boeing bouncing back a bit saying it will roll out an upgrade to its 737 max but it's having its worst week in years since it is deal with the aftermath of the deadly crash. mike khouw has a way to trade it for next to nothing so let's go to mike for his call to action mike. >> yeah. so it's interesting, of course obviously the stock seemed to level off a little bit over the course of the last couple of days but i still think there is some potential downside here. melissa, you were asking an important question earlier this week how the situation that we've seen with boeing here might differ from prio

>> jimmy: hey, dante. >> hey!great. >> jimmy: i'm here to get a college basketball bracket. >> for what year? >> jimmy: for this year. >> yeah, of course, come in. you know iguana man. >> jimmy: no, i don't. >> you seen the movie? >> jimmy: no. >> it holds up. >> jimmy: i just want to get a bracket if i could. >> let me grab it? okay, great. should i get up? >> no, you're good. iguana man, sorry, bro. >> jimmy: seem a little bit dirty. >> you stop holding your brett you can get a sense what was he's been eating. >> jimmy: i get a little of that. >> mainly chili. >> jimmy: i got mine done. you need to do something with this? >> yeah, put it in the system. >> jimmy: what is this? >> this is my computer. >> jimmy: it works? >> uh -- yeah. just got to make up all the teams. and -- done. all right. all you got to do is pay me, the entry fee, or a date with your sister, whichever you find less disgusting. >> jimmy: you know what i will pay you when i win a lot of money, because this year i'm entering the best bracket mi

hey mercedes, can you make it a little cooler in here?m setting the temperature [ a-class ] to 68 degrees. we hear you. we made a car that does, too. the all-new a-class. all-new thinking starting at $32,500. ♪ ♪ gerry: i'm back with john trainny. delaney. talking about the democratic party and where it's going. a lot of policies described as possibly socialist. one of the faved ones is the green new deal, infrastructure spending for green projects. you support that or against it? >> so i'm excited that it's created a lot of energy, but i don't think it's the right way to go on climate. first of all, we shouldn't tie climate change to other issues. either climate change is a problem or it's not. if it is, we should have a singular focus, and is the green new deal tries to link it. so that, i don't think, is the right approach. secly, i favor market-based approach, so i introduced the only bipartisan carbon tax bill, raises a huge amount of revenues and gives every penny back to the american people. so it uses a market-based force to the c

hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?! steal your car because, well, that's my job. what? what?? what?! (laughing) what?? what?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪ >>> do you think the mueller probe is legitimate? >> i did when i came in but i don't. >> that was rudy giuliani a year ago telling me it is in the legitimate and he is expected to issue no further indictments. will they regret saying that and other attacks on the investigation? we are back. i'll put that question to you. >> i think it actually validates it. nothing they went forward on, they didn't even attempt to interview the president. >> well, they did attempt it. >> not really. not on the subpoena. they didn't go the route. >> they had to go to court and ended up in supreme court. >> yeah. the fact all of them were indicted don't you think it was to see how russia has been interfering in t