>> hey, how are you? >> hey, how you doing? >> i'm marcus. >> steven. >> both: nice to meet you. >> is this your car? >> no, no, we're wholesaling them. >> wholesaling them? you buy cars from them? >> yes. >> how many do you buy a month? >> 40 to 50. something around that number. >> that's what you're buying? >> yeah. >> wholesalers are a broker who stand in the middle of a transaction. they buy cars from jon, they mark up the price, and they sell it to a dealer. why do we need middlemen around here? how often is he here? >> my friend steven? >> mm-hmm. >> all the time. he's actually a wholesaler. i sell most of my cars to him. >> why? >> um, because i trust him very much. he's a good friend of mine. >> but the issue that i have is that you're giving up the spread. what did you put on the car? >> uh, 8,000. >> what did steven pay you for it? >> 8,500. >> this car will retail for what? >> i'd say-- >> 12,900? >> 12--i was gonna say, 12,999, yeah. >> how much margin is that, in between you and the final customer? >> 8,500 to 12,9

[dog sfx] hey, mi towel, su towel. every gain fling. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at this guy. look at this guy. he's a stud right there. look at him. oh, my. come on. [ cheers and applause ] he knows what he's doing. look at this guy here. there he is. [ cheers and applause ] our first gut is an emmy-nominated actor who stars at jon snow on "game of thrones" wch returns for its final season april 14th at 9:00 p.m. on hbo. you can also see him hosting "saturday night live" this weekend th musical guest sara bareilles. please welcome kit harington! [ chrs and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome! thank you so much, kit harington. thank you for being here, my pal. "saturday night live're hosting for the first time this weekend. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how's it going, buddy? >> i'm intimately terrified and confident. so one minute -- one minute, i'm shaking. my: that's the balance you want. >> yeah, shaking with terror in my dressing room going, "why did i ever agree to do this. i'm the most unfunny person in the world

[dog sfx] hey, mi towel, su towel. every gain fling. [ distant traffic sounds ] [ loud traffic sounds ] [ music replaces the noise ] the new galaxy s10 on xfinity mobile. the phone and network designed to do more. get $250 back on a new galaxy when you switch and save today. say "get a galaxy" to learn more. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at this guy. look at this guy. he's a stud right there. look at him. oh, my. come on. [ cheers and applause ] he knows what he's doing. look at this guy here. there he is. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is an emmy-nominated actor who stars at jon snow on "game of thrones" which returns for its final season april 14th at 9:00 p.m. on hbo. you can also see him hosting "saturday night live" this weekend with musical guest sara bareilles. please welcome kit harington! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome! thank you so much, kit harington. thank you for being here, my pal. "saturday night live," you're hosting for the first time this weekend. >> yeah. >> jimmy:

hey, guys.ow are you? >> how are you? so i brought in a contractor, and we're gonna start making changes immediately. the sooner we have a new layout, the closer we'll be to making money. i need to figure out how to change the look and feel of the place. it doesn't feel inviting. >> is there anything that you really want to keep? i'd like to keep the exterior walls. >> [laughs] okay. >> this is the kitchen. >> oh, wow. >> so ideally, i'd like to go that way. >> okay. >> in here, i really want to have this bar jut out into the middle of the store so that when i come in the front door, i'm seeing a really nice bar all the way around. so i'd like to get started tomorrow. >> okay. >> we're all getting ready for one last night of business before this place gets a major overhaul, and we're not telling anybody our plans yet. >> marcus, the mayor was in here tonight. i told her that i thought there was gonna be some changes and that-- [people cheering] she asked about what those changes were. i said the

way out hey yeah i'll stand my ground and i won't back down ♪ hey baby there ain't no easy way out hey♪ rep. ryan: how you doing? how are you? >> ♪ there ain't no easy way out hey yeah and i'll stand my ground and i won't back down and i won't back down ♪ >> can i get a picture with you? >> yeah, of course. >> anybody got a pen? anybody have a pen? >> thank you for being here. ♪ >> whatever it takes. tom jones, what is up, buddy? oh my god, my guy from way back, my god from way back. couldn't be here, huh? >> thank you. >> thank you. >> that's why i'm doing this. >> what's happening? ♪ washington journal live every day. coming up this morning, homeland security department counterterrorism official discusses reports the department of homeland security is restructuring its terrorism unit. the washington times sheryl and others discuss campaign 2020. and miami bureau chief a bloomberg news discusses recovery aid to puerto rico. be sure to watch "washington journal" live sunday morning. join the discussion. >> all this month on c-span, we will feature the winners of our documentary coverag

hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?!?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪ while america celebrated the fall of prohibition, jim beam didn't raise a single glass. he wanted his first drink to be of his own bourbon. he didn't have much money. but he did have a few friends. people who were raised the right way. over 120 days, they rebuilt the distillery. and while their names might not be on our bottle... it's because of them, we can raise this bourbon today. jim beam. raised right. (dad) this i(mom)eam cake needs a freezefreezer's full. (vo) only frigidaire's custom flex temp drawer can switch from fridge to freezer. (son) nice save! (vo) that's using your frigidaire. ♪ star wars galaxy's edge opening may 31st at disneyland resort ♪ >> jimmy: that's very sad. davy on a losing streak. well do welcome back to our final night in fabulous las vegas. you can se

hey, penny-wise, hey, hey, it's me, your brother. hey, let's go take some kids out, eh?s boo. no, i'm fin, richie the kid with the glasses, i'm him. >> jimmy: oh, older. interesting. are you a big stephen king fan in general? >> yeah, i did like stephen king. you know what? his books got -- i loved them when i was in high school. i still read his books, but they're super long. >> jimmy: right. >> they're really long! >> jimmy: he just writes and writes and writes. >> it 2 is a thousand pages. and then you read interviews with him, i was on a lot of cocaine, you know. and you could tell in the movie. we're all here because a guy. >> jimmy: how can you tell exactly? what are the signs? [ laughter ] >> talking like this, faster, faster, dialogue, faster. no, but he -- his books, his books, i don't like descriptions of food. >> jimmy: really? >> and it's five pages of things to not like. do you like descriptions of food? >> jimmy: if i'm going to eat it, yeah. >> but the you're reading a book and instead of he ate a cheeseburger. >> jimmy: never gave it a thought, really. wh

hey, robert, you remember me?kets, sunday, let me know, check it out. >> jimmy: i was talking about having it at your house, but i get you. i'm sure you would be welcome there. >> we'll see. >> jimmy: are they going to do a war machine separate movie or series or anything like that? has there been any discussion about that? >> i'm not allowed to talk about that. >> jimmy: you're not allowed to talk about the discussions you had or -- >> i'm not allowed to discuss the discussions. >> jimmy: how would you know you weren't allowed to discuss those discussions if no discussions had ever occurred? >> if you discuss discussing discussions that have been had, they dissuade you from that, and they discuss it with your agents and they tell you. >> jimmy: i see. so you have been subject to discussions. >> look, the discussions, there's a lot of discussions, and you pick your discussions, and you get in and out out out t opted out of those discussions because i want to stay in the movie. >> jimmy: your character which is oft

i'm like, hey, hey, all right, what we got to do now? she's like, you got to double down. and i'm like, yeah, i know, i know. i got to doublie down. she said do you want to see it face up or face down? >> i said i want to see it, i want to see it. she put it down. the next one comes out. it's a two. so now i got a ten. she goes oh, my god. you got to i said i don't want to see it. face down. i got 18. on the dealer had a six showing. all right, here we go. it's go time. the dealer turns over the card underneath it. in slow motion. it was, i saw it. it was a five! i said auh, uh, you got to be [ bleep ]. oh, oh, not like this. not like this. i'm like, go slow, go slow, go slow. dealers, you know, dealers are fast to the point where you can't count. you ever try to add it up but you don't know where you're at? i know there's a five out there. she had a five, real fast, it was a three, i was like, oh, e o oh, oh, oh, what was that? i was like count that. you got 14. go slow, go slow. real fast, ace, ace. oh, my god! what's going on? what yo

and then -- >> then we're going to be like, hey, hey. >> jimmy: say it again. >> hey hey. yes yes.booty and a a booty. like, yes! like, you're riding a horse. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. like a small horse. the kind of little horse where your feet can touch the ground. >> exactly. exactly. just -- and pose. can you hear my -- ba da ba da ba. >> jimmy: huh! [ cheering ] >> hit it. ♪ ♪ keep making noise keep making noise ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh here we go now here we go now ♪ ♪ here we go here we go now listen ♪ >> alex! jimmy! >> jimmy: where are we? ♪ ♪ some of y'all might get winded and some of y'all won't but listen ♪ ♪ let me clear my throat oh have mercy babe i hope you don't mind ♪ ♪ let me clear my throat here we go now check it out aha aha ah ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: where's my eggs? where's my eggs? [ cheers and applause ] when you're actually doing it, you really feel much better than what it looks like. [ laughter ] >> steve: okay. that's good. >> jimmy: just to put it in perspective. 'cause i was like, i'm nailing this, man. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: like

hey good knight. where are you going?all i desire. did thou bring enough for the whole kingdom? george: nespresso, what else? (vo) ♪ i know what you're thinking. electric, it's not for you. and, you're probably right. electric just doesn't have enough range. it will never survive the winter. charging stations? good luck finding one of those. so, maybe an electric car isn't for you after all. or, is it? ♪ and you find that perfect spring dress at that "oh, yeah" price? yes! that's yes for less. score the latest spring dresses at 20% to 60% off department store prices, every day. at ross. yes for less. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest has a a comedy album, "all the best choices", available now on itunes. making her "tonight show" debut, please welcome the very funny jess salomon. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you. thank you. oh, my -- this is so exciting. it is so nice to be here. i'm jess. i'm a canadian. [ cheers ] yes, you know, we walk amongst you undetected. [ light laughter ] that's what we're d

hey yeah ♪ rep.ow you doing? how are you? >> ♪ there ain't no easy way out hey yeah and i'll stand my ground and i won't back down and i won't back down ♪ >> can i get a picture with you? >> yeah, of course. [indiscernible] >> anybody got a pen? anybody have a pen? ♪ [indiscernible] >> my man . ♪ >> thank you for being here. > ♪ just a little bit [indiscernible] >> oh really? >> thank you for coming. [indiscernible] doing? ou [indiscernible] r e s p e c t teave out the t c just a little bit just a little bit ♪ >> what's happening? re re re re re re re re spect ♪ >> who has got the football? whose got the football? >> whatever it takes. up to mynes, what's buddy? -- up, buddy? >> thank you. oh my god, my guy from way back, my god from way back. huh?n't be here, >> thank you. [indiscernible] >> that's why i'm doing this. [indiscernible] >> tim, what is up, baby? [captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2019] [captioning performed by the national captioning institute, which is responsible for

hey merced. do you think i need ca hey mercedes, n you make it a little cooler iheemperate [ a-class ] to 68 degrees. starting at $32,50 we mthking >>> a local teen who always wanted thanks to some of d.c.'s s hass ofcer.way, putting hisbeen the department. the pediatrics officer g age getting acquainted with the needs, a partner watching his hi happens, stay ve that wasn'tappening. me. >> reporter: soon they'll be beat tother. n officer,won. mind >> reporter: as for hthis iha ps alcommunity. so you reach out to youth like antoine. >> reporter: to show them that even again4.corey. way to "news 4 this weo showouges from the rocket launch in wallops island in virginia. t internationalday. thanks for joing us. thanks for joing us. ha a [phone ringing] w remember t used to do things? hey man... wh friends? ishape?orell a houe remember t used to do things? america's #1 brokerage site and pay a real est] at res >> this is abrought to you by the international fellowship of christians and jews, d's chose

hey, carter.s a catch-up trade more than anything else and we know super cap, large cap names are stalling at the former high whereas this area of the market still has potential to make it back to the high two lines, you can see the difference in performance over the past year. blue is spy. orange being iwm let's pull back and look at a different timeframe and here we are the past two years and what we're seeing is a double, right? i mean, that's the issue, is small cap the better trade and going back as far as five years. again, it's about the spread s&p has this circumstance that's at risk. the russell doesn't have that and so the catch-up trade is i think the important one here now look how bad the relative performance has been and another way to show the picture. so here is the russell and what we know is it's been basically straight up with general equities off the december low, but look what's happened its made no progress relative, but what i'm thinking here is you've got something on the b

hey word he says...e wouldn't turn but draymond at practice, the game plan talked about coach kerr tonight in l-a.. clippers finish off the will try to the warriors regrets!mack saying no this video of they posted mack any day.. take khalil "enjoy", we'll are saying and the bears state.mississippi abram from jonathan defensive back and of alabama.. josh jacobs out running back grabbed raiders running back grabbed raiders then the ááá) you know when you're at ross and you realize great minds shop alike? yes. or when you find those name-brand shoes that everyone notices? oh, yeah! or when you get exactly what you need for your growing family? yes! that's yes for less. yep! yes, yes, yes, yes... yes! seriously, 20 to 60 percent off department store prices every day. at ross. yes for less. luckily, her dorm is about 10 minutes from a hotel by wyndham. ashley's meeting all her in-laws, and she's about 10 minutes from a hotel by wyndham. jeff is flying to.... oh never mind. but hey, 10 minutes from a wyndham.

hey hey ♪th ♪ wil love me now hey now ki you're my salvation ♪ ♪ just put it all outur don't let yos dow i'll be there to hold ♪ ♪ and love yo even whethe day is donon i will be ♪ ♪ you can run t even when i'm dead and gon i will always watch out ♪ ♪ for you nowun l the day we meet agai until we meet again ♪ ♪ hey now kid you're my salvatio just put it all out ♪ ♪ down let your head down all my lif they never told me ♪ ♪ othey never said that it'd ever be so hard oh they never said that ♪ ♪ it'd ever be so hard rs [ ch and applause >> seth: the strumbellas, folks. "rattlesnake" is out now and their u.s. headlined tour kicks off in boston on may 1st we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause what would i say to somebody keep being you.? keep loving. keep aspiring. keep striving. and ask your doctor about biktarvy. biktarvy is a complete one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for hiv in certain adults. it's not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv with three different medicines to help you get to undetectable. that means the amount of virus is so low it can't be measured

hey hey will they love me now ♪ ♪ hey now kid you're my salvation just put it all out ♪ ♪ don't letbe so hard i like to spend ♪ ♪ all my money on things that i don't need i like to sleep ♪ ♪ all the day 'cause this life is easier in dreams ♪ ♪ yeah in my dreams in my dreams well i think about ♪ ♪ the places i have been i can't regret what i have done ♪ ♪ it's the past that makes me who i am hey hey hey ♪ ♪ will they love me now hey now kid you're my salvation ♪ ♪ just put it all out don't let your head down all my life ♪ ♪ they never told me they never said that it'd ever be so hard ♪ ♪ even when the sun goes down i'll be there to hold ♪ ♪ and love you even when the day is done i will be the one ♪ ♪ you can run to even when i'm dead and gone i will always watch out ♪ ♪ for you now until the day we meet again until we meet again ♪ ♪ hey now kid you're my salvation just put it all out ♪ ♪ down let your head down all my life they never told me ♪ ♪ oh they never said that it'd ever be so hard oh they never said that ♪ ♪ it'd ever be so hard [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: the strumbell

( applause ) >> jon: hey diddle, diddle. and that fiddle. >> stephen: but trump is not the only republican speaking out against the green new deal. so is utah senator and driver's ed teacher who's about to become your new step dad, mike lee. yesterday, during a debate on the green new deal, lee offered a novel solution to global warming. >> mr. president, this is the real solution to climate change: babies. the solution to so many of our problems at all times and in all places is to fall in love, get married, and have some kids. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i like babies. i like babies. i've made babies. some of my best friends were once babies. but getting married and making babies is a solution to all our problems at all times and in all places? ( as car mechanic ) "well, i'll tell you what's going on here, mr. jones, your transmission is shot. it's going to cost you $800 for me to fix that, or you could make an honest woman out of bethany. she looks fertile. yeah, yeah, i'd do it." but-- ( cheers and applause ) i do like babi

>> hey, jim. question based on the list ipo fiasco, how do you view the $500 million that paypal is investing in uber what are the risks to paypal investors and is this a way to play the uber ipo? >> uber ipo, we have to see where it s something people you have to understand about uber. you let us down. lyft was going to open at $100 i didn't know you could sell stock if you owned it before the ipo. if you bought it right before the ipo you can sell it. that is very unusual i don't know where uber is going price. a lot of retail investors are giving uber ahead. that is not a good sign. paypal and the stock is unstoppable. they did a great job checked in with the company this weekend, everything is strong there. i wouldn't worry about any investment they make try to figure out has the stock got too high that's what i'm worried b it seems like it hasn't undervalued thin tech. brad in massachusetts, brad? >> jim, i got a position in oxidental. with the discussions, should i be concerned about more do

maria: hey, jack, what are you doing? jack: oh, hey, maria. here getting ready for my stress test. maria: it's not a stress test for people. it's a stress test for gadgets. jack: gadgets, oh, looks like i got the wrong stress test. maria: yeah, you'll like this one a lot better. follow me. jack: okay, you got it. so, we head to the consumer reports gadget stress test lab. maria: this is where we test gadgets, mobile devices such as smartphones, smartwatches, tablets, to see if they can stand up to the manufacturers' claims for durability and also to see if they can handle the typical physical harm that consumers might put them through. maria: we use these picks for it. these are picks that are calibrated to the mohs scale. jack: what is the mohs scale? maria: the mohs scale is a scientific standard that is used to evaluate the hardness of minerals. it works on the principle that a harder material will always scratch a softer material. jack: oh, i see, so you kind of go through a soft scratch all the way to a very hard scratch. maria: correct,

no -- hey, hey, hey, watch it buddy. [ laughter ] i want no funny -- hey, stop it, please.. whoever gets to the bowl of kibble first will win the final four. okay? [ laughter ] i think i'm going to go with virginia, right? we'll see. here we go. release the puppies! ♪ [ audience aws ] [ cheers and applause ] [ bell rings ] >> jimmy: it's a photo finish! it's a photo -- guys, hold on. it's a photo finish. can we show it in slo-mo? the winner is -- [ audience yelling ] virginia! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ bell rings ] they will be crowned the 2019 national champs. you heard it here first. everybody please enjoy the final four, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with taraji p. henson. come on back. you did it buddy. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what would i say to somebody keep being you.? keep loving. keep aspiring. keep striving. and ask your doctor about biktarvy. biktarvy is a complete one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for hiv in certain adults. it's not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv with three different medicines to help you get

hey, fred armisen. [ laughter ] i'm a big fan.t's a really big night for fred. >> "portlandia." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] is there anything you can't do? >> seth: there is nothing fred can't do. >> it's shocking. >> author, actor, comedian, drummer. >> seth: yeah. he's everything. >> exactly. >> you -- one thing that i think now people know about you is you are a pre-eminent voiceover actor. >> oh, yeah. >> seth: and, so, when you go in front of camera on something like "nightfall," or going back to the "star wars" movie, is it a lot of adjustment to get in that kind of acting versus your voice acting? >> well, that's the problem. when i read the script, i sort of had my voice over head on. i didn't really think it through. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and i didn't realize the undertaking until i went to wardrobe. and they just started putting on layers and boots and belts and capes and shoulder pads. and then just that make-up alone is over an hour in the make-up chair. because there's -- >> seth: yeah. there's

hey, ian.ou know, at td ameritrade, we can walk you through your options trades step by step until you're comfortable. i could be up for that. that's taking options trading from wall st. to main st. hey guys, wanna play some pool? eh, i'm not really a pool guy. what's the hesitation? it's just complicated. step-by-step options trading support from td ameritrade >>> some of the biggest winners of 2019 are simply stocks that sold off way too hard. they should have never been down so much. consider correcyext yext ensures all the information about your company on the web is accurate and up to date. you know how hard that is to do? but they can do it and help their clients sync up with hundreds of different services like google maps and siri. it plummeted from 27 and change in august down to 12 bucks in change in late december. part of that brutal sell-off in all things cloud, since then it's been up -- it's on fire up nearly 50% year to date fuelled in part by an excellent quarter so can this thin

hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?!use, well, that's my job. what? what?? what?! (laughing) what?? what?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: give it up for the band, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) hey, everybody! jon, you know, zach galifianakis is going to be out here in a little while. >> jon: yes, indeed, zach galifianakis! >> stephen: does he still have the beard? >> jon: yeah, nice beard. >> stephen: yeah. >> jon: his beard is named shelly. ( laughter ) >> stephen: the beard has a name? >> jon: yep. >> stephen: i did not know that. >> jon: the beard has a name. >> stephen: how did you though this? do you know mr. galifianakis? >> jon: i don't know him, but i heard it somewhere in passing, so i believe it. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you're very trusting, jon. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: i'll ask him when he comes

hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?!r because, well, that's my job. what? what?? what?! (laughing) what?? what?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest stars as ant-man in the highly anticipated new movie, "avengers: endgame", which is in theaters everywhere tomorrow. please welcome paul rudd. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. that's what i'm talking about. paul rudd. >> very nice. thank you so much. >> jimmy: paul rudd, welcome back. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. >> it's great to be back. thanks, jimmy. good to see you. >> jimmy: you've been everywhere doing press for "avengers: endgame." >> yeah. >> jimmy: you must be exhausted. >> it's -- it's pretty tiring. yeah, the last few weeks. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i've been to a lot of places. started off goin

. >> hey, i had one of those. >> all in all, a fun screen, nice, the look of her face. >> hey, it's jeremyn crida. >> this is wired 15 most asked questions. >> about the avengers. >> yeah, what are the top 50 questions people have asked about the avengers. >> who can pick up thor's hammer? >> captain marvel. >> don't you dare. oh. nobody. >> you know, this is going to -- to me, this feels like being back in calculus class, not knowing a single answer. >> this, i'm not even going to ask you to do a proof for geometry. just tell me, is thanos a god? >> yes. >> is thanos a god? >> no. she's a titan. >> how strong is spider man? >> so strong. >> he is as strong as a man would be working with the strength of a spider. >> spider-man is an avenger? huh. >> how to draw the avengers. >> is that a question? >> there's a lot of shading. a lot of people miss that. if so, there's a family. you can't just go gun metal gray and we done with it. don't rush through your war machine drawings of the avengers. >> what we've seen is a giant -- >> april 23rd, go see your damadang movie. >> it's time to give awa

hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?!use, well, that's my job. what? what?? what?! (laughing) what?? what?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪ ♪ [ crying ] ♪ you protect them at home. we help protect them online. this is beyond wifi. this is xfi. simple. easy. awesome. xfinity. the future of awesome. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back to "the late show." thank you, thank you, tuba man. folks, my guests tonight are senior writers at politico and the co-authors of politico's "playbook." their new book is called "the hill to die on." please welcome to "the late show," anna palmer and jake sherman. hello, anna. ♪ ♪ >> stephen: okey-doke. for those who are not political insiders in washington, let's explain to people out there what the politico "playbook is." if not the bible of washington, it's the daily missilee

[indiscernible] >> hey, tim.y wants to say hi. >> i asked -- for a picture. ♪ she screamed so loud in my living room when it came up that you were running. i was like, does somebody have a crush? [laughs] can you sign this? thank you, tim. hopefully we will get to see you some more. >> i'll be around. [indiscernible] love you guys >> and a photo? what's his name? >> 1, 2, 3. thank you. >> thank you. ♪ >> i thought i signed it already. >> thank you, thank you. >> cody! cody! ♪ you.nk thank you for coming. >> good luck. >> cody. >> one more, one more. [laughs] >> thank you. please.w me, ♪ you.ank [indiscernible] g> thank you for joinins us. >> you got it. ♪ >> thaknk you. sorry-- [inaudible] >> right this way. promise.l be back, i here is your water. ♪ that migrationy is the key to success. it allows ordinary people to do extraordinary things. next question. >> your thoughts on the reaction in the crowd? >> it was great. home time crowd. only thing better than the response is looking around and seeing the familiar

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hey good knight. where are you going? worth the quest. nespresso. tis all i desire. did thou bring enough for the whole kingdom? george: nespresso, what else? puberty means personal ss ce. so sportothes sit around doing a little growing of their own. ohhh. ahhgh. so imagine how we cheered when we found tide pods sport. finally something more powerful than the funk. bye.lo i ve you too! he didn't say that. tide sport removes even week-old sweat odor. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to julia louis-dreyfus. mark hamill, everybody. ashley longshore. ndfred armisen and the 8g stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: welcome to "last call." i'm carson daly. this is the flatiron room in n.y.c., a lovely backdrop for our show tonight.

hey, seth. seth. >> seth: oh, hey. what's up, timoty,?plause ] >> uh -- i was wondering if you could introduce me as record setting four te guest, timothy olyphant. i think the audience would get a big kick out of that. >> seth: yeah, yeah. the only thing is we've actuallh had a few guesve been on more than four times. >> yeah, but, do people really know that? [ ght laughter ] >> seth: i mean, i think so. >> yeah, you think, but you kn don'. so, let's do it myay and then after the show you can check the twitter and see if anyone loses their [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> thanks, man. >> seth: our first g ast tonight emmy nominated actor who you know from his work on "justified" and "deadwood." his film"missing link," opens in theaters on april 12th. you can catch him in the third season of "santa clata diet," which is currently streaming on netflix. please welcome record setting four time guest, timothy olyphant. [ cheers and applaus ] ♪ >> seth: hi, wcome back. i mean, congratulations. record setting fourth visit. >> oh, come

hey, hey, hey. lemonis: what's happening, guys? man: bud, how you doing?cing jennifer's sauces, but i also want to see how open-minded the family is to other ideas, so i'm taking them to a meat co-packer to see if there's a way to take her recipes and some of her ideas and get them into the prepared food sections of grocery stores. and ultimately, whether or not jennifer's on-board with co-packing her meat, i just want her to be more open to ideas and see what their process is, and i particularly want to see how chandler's going to handle this. so, i wanted to bring you to beef international to explore how to potentially package and distribute pre-prepared foods. jennifer: okay. tarantino: our job is to figure out from you what makes you different, and what do you want to see us replicate? and we need to narrow in and hone down that flavor profile, that texture, that taste, and the cost effectiveness to be able to distribute it. lemonis: kevin, can we give them a full tour of what happens in the back and how the process works? kevin: yeah. ♪ tarantino: her

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but that my own is the the hey years of the why not the. limitation. a number and it doesn't have a manager them it doesn't have that hey i mean had that element to it that i had gone and that had gone into that lie at that courthouse on the back of the. going to take any matter what i last. has on husbands and his in-laws the infidel they feel offended. and. also what has a little suddenly thought about it that this isn't. a sort of the house i'm bad at the bottom account has son in law son in law. that at the moment of us we have to have the it the law. of how the. american will. get in from the house. as something from within. our people showed unimaginable heroism during the second intifada especially during the invasion of two in two thousand and two invasion was the most terrible words during which we call the scientific. tanks operating fire on houses with children. weeks of blockade and field execution arrests and forced disappearance. for a woman waiting for her fiance that was more difficult than death itself. among. them. has said. lenhart a

hey, what is your name? >> i'm clark, and i'm from philly. >> jimmy: hey, clark from philly!d applause ] in our final clip, clark, trump tries to say the word "reinstate." >> oh. >> jimmy: reinstate. how do you think he'll mispronounce reinstate? >> rhine s: te. >> jimmye're gonna rhine state." [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: that actually sounds pretty good. let's see what happened. >> by the way, one of th people that was confirmed by somebody else today on the e other side, democrats, w saying they would reinstir -- [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: nah, reinstir. you were very close. i'm going to give you the win on that one. >> thabi you, jimmy. fan! >> jimmy: thank you, clark. appreciate it. thank you, pal. big fan, back. [ cheers and applause ] that was "talk like trump." k anks to all of our players. we'll be right bacth more of "the tonight show," everybody. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ people know aflac... aflac! ...but not what they do. so we're answering their questions.ra aflac is auto insunce, right? no. uh uh. is it homeowner's insurance? no... uhuhuhuh! is

. >> steve: hey! what j my: what are you talking -- wait, what ♪ >> steve: wait >> jimmy: come on, man hey, grow up >> steve: grow up. that's ridiculous. >> jimmy: that's ridiculous. ♪ stormy >> jimmy: what [ laughter ]te >>: what >> jimmy: hey, guys, wrestlemania 35 is this weekend.e and my favorrt is all the smack talk [ laughter ] you got to make your opponent scared before they even step into the ring withou so it got me thinking, could wrestlers make any trash talk seem intimidating?ou to fin we asked kids to send us their best taunts and still make them terrifyingd it's time for "kid trash talk. re we go ♪ ♪ kids talk trash trash talk ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: now remember, these re to do our first taunt is s. the winner of last year's wwe greatest royal rumble. give it up for braun strowman! [ cheers and applause ♪ >> you want a piece of me? do you want a piece of me? i'm going to kick your butt a until you fall ike and i'm not joking because, when i'm kidding, i say "knock, knock!pp

( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) welcome, one and all! thank you very much! please, have a seat, everybody! thank you very much! ( cheers and applause ) thanks, everybody. welcome. ( cheers and applause ) welcome, one and all, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. now, you may have noticed... ( cheers and applause ) you may have noticed, we are on a little later than usual tonight, because we're following the n.c.a.a. men's basketball championship. and i just want to say right off the bat, congratulations to my favorite team: the ones who were the winners. ( laughter ) i believed in you! i believed in you! ( applause ) whole way, you know that. i've always said that. one person who's not feeling like a champion right now is secretary of homeland security, kirstjen nielsen, seen here as happy as she'll ever be again. because, last night, nielsen resigned as trump's homeland security secretary. ( cheers and applause ) i believe she's leaving to spend more time sepa

hey, who are you? oh, hey jeff, i'm a car thief... what?! i'm here to steal your car because, well, that's my job. what? what?? what?! (laughing) what?? what?! what?! [crash] what?! haha, it happens. and if you've got cut-rate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. so get allstate... and be better protected from mayhem... like me. ♪ visionworks can do more than the right pair of glassesat. can make you look amazing, too. get two complete pairs of single vision glasses for $59 or two progressives for $99. and choose from over 500 frames. visionworks. we're here to help you. ♪ ♪ >> they say he staged the attack and they want their money back. chicago, the city, not the band, will sue jussie smollett, to get back the cost of investigation that allege ed attack. i don't know what i just said. they say the attack never happened. prosecutor's office and the city gave them until thursday to pay 130 grand civil suit and his attorney says his client will be intimidated into paying meanwhile chicago police are calling for

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okay, but hey, it's better than last year i picked amt right?eah joe, it's just about all the touchy feely stuff. >> oh, that,hat, that. okay. well hey, don't worry, okay i smoothed that whole thing over yesterday. i'm a hugger, a kisser, and little bit of a sniffer. thet

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hey good knight. where are you going?above is always worth the quest. nespresso. l tis desire. did thou bring enough for the whole kingdom? george: nespresso, what else? (vo) ♪ i know what you're thinking. electric, it's not for you. ant. you're probably righ electric just doesn't have enough range. it will never survive the winter. charging stations? good luck finding one of those. so, maybe an electric car isn't for you after all. or, is it? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ crowd clapping ] ♪ guys be sure to tune in all next week we got some grt shows coming up ♪ ♪ paul rudd and brie larson will be here to talk about the movie "avengers: endgame" ♪ plus we got sting bryce harper and music from wu-tang clan ♪ ♪ it's all happening next week you don't want to miss it we'll be right back ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ charmin ultra soft! it's softer than ever. charmin ultra soft is twice as absorbentes and it's softer than ever... so it's harder to resist. okay, this is getting a little weird. we all go, why not enjoy the go wi

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