-- i wouldn't say hemorrhoids would cause him to be a failure in a civil war. but it could explain, and i quote him, could explain why he was such a mean son of a bitch. so it seems to me that he certainly played a major role in the union victory, no question in my mind. but i think he's a lot like rodney -- and that's too bad. because we can learn a lot from this man who was one of the major americans of the 19th century. thank you very much. [ applause ] >> as you know, i wear a hearing aid, so i'd love to sw answer any question you have, but if you do, yell them at me because i may not hear you. >> the floor mics are open for questions. >> i have to ask this question. who was hated more? braxten brag or henry halleck? >> i think braxten brag was even more hated. you know the famous story of the first historian writing his biography of braxten brag, getting to hate him so much, he never wrote a second volume and made one of his graduate students do it. but then i did the biography of halleck, so what does that same about me. i don't know. >> thank you. >> tha

one of the big problems halleck had was he had hemorrhoids. don't talk about that, oh for heaven's sake. don't talk about that. they called them piles in those days but you know what i'm getting at. in those days, the common medical thing to do if you have hemorrhoids and if you went to a physician is that you would -- they would give you an opium suppository. now, i leave it up to your imaginations from this point on. but in any case, that's what they did with halleck. he went to a doctor. he was so sick with hemorrhoids during the war that he literally could not stand up. he had to lie downside ways -- down sideways on a couch until he got over this stuff. so opium suppositories. i found other things too, not as glamorous as that, but i found other things too. so i consulted with these medical people and these psychologists and all. and several of them are mentioned in my book. if you really really want to be bored, i have this that i wrote up about my conversations with them and what halleck had and didn't have and all the rest. in any case

leave totook medical seek treatment for his hemorrhoids and never commanded troops again.his means that out for in pleasanton, ended up becoming the calvaryy -- of core, his appointment doesn't become permanent until 1863. when pleasanton becomes the corps commander, buford becomes the commander of the first division. of 1863,te spring after the battle of chancellorsville, there became a massing of cavalry. five brigades will ultimately combine forces there. this made joe hooker very nervous. you remember jeff stewart's first two rides around the army, he was bound and determined he wasn't going to be the victim of the third. as he is watching the concentration of calvary grow, it is the first week of june, he sends orders for an expedition to culpepper county. remember these words -- to destroy or disperse the great concentration of calvary there. this leads to the battle of brandy station. buford is a wing commander, they end up withdrawing. i'm forcefully, the great concentration is neither destroyed nor dispersed and pleasanton will lie, but that is what he did. he had

ever notice -- >> have you noticed -- >> what is it with -- >> why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoidseroids called asteroids? wouldn't it make more sense the other way around? if that was true, wouldn't be proctologist but astronaut. >> so many things distasteful in life and stupid and rules that everybody has to follow. it's tedious. so they deserve lampooning. >> this is an awful morning. i get up this morning and put maxi pad on adhesive side up. come on, you've done it. >> there is so much comedy in the little details of life. it's just taking a magnifying glass and throwing it out to the audience. >> that's sort of my job, to think about stuff that a lot of us are too busy for most of the time. little things that occur to us, we have universal ground. did you ever belch and almost puke? >> we think that we're alone and comedian steps on stage, says have you ever noticed -- kaboom, it explodes. and in that moment we all connect. which is an amazing charge. adrenaline rush to connect on that kind of level. >> we have to fight these battles. we're all alone in the bathroom. alone. w

day mounted on a horse.ave th imagine if you will that you s lass have the most horrific case of hemorrhoids you can possibly imagine, and you have george stoneman who was often described as being dispeptic.he you would dispeptic, too. i guarantee it. so he made a great escape for ki hooker.ca stoneman took medical leave on the 15th of may of 1863 to seek treatment for his hemorrhoids and never commanded troops gonep this means brigadier alfred of pleasanton, his appointment doesn't become permanent until august 1863. the reserve brigade was what was pleasanton's first division.ecos so when he becomes the corps ma commander, buford becomes the commander of the first division. in the late spring of 1863, after the battle of chancellorsville, there was an d amassing of cavalry. five brigades will ultimately combine forces there. this made joe hooker very firs nervous.rmy, you remember jed stewart's first two rides around the armyto be e potomac and he was bound and determined he wasn't going to be the victim of the third. finally, the first week of junel he sendspe orders to pleasantont send a

applause ] ♪ thank you triple h for sounding less like a wwe superstar and more like an extra strength hemorrhoid] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> time to play the game! ♪ ♪ it's all about the game and how you play it all about control and if you can take it ♪ ♪ >> summerslam is live this sunday, august 20th on the wwe network. we'll be right back with jon hamm. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [background chatter] [cup hits floor] [tray clatters on table] [improvised musical sounds] [improvised musical sounds] [bell rings] welcome to our school! screamy sriracha mac sauce with just the right amount of spice. try it on your choice of chicken or beef. get it now for a limited time. (vo) unlimited is only as good as the network it's on. and only one network can be the best... verizon. just named number one in the nation by rootmetrics, the largest independent study. in call, data, speed, and reliability. and awarded number one overall network for the eighth time in a row. because only verizon has the best network and the best unlimited. right. in. your. stomach! watch this!... >>yikes, that ice cream was mes