higgins?you, monkas. [ laughter ] before we start, a couple things. at no time can you touch the hat or gloves, nor can they touch anything. basically, you have to whip your arms and head around as crazy as you can until everything flies off. and of course, you've got to dance. also, please keep in mind that in the event of a tie, our great audience will decide the winner based on your dancing ability. so, bring it. everyone ready? all right. contestant number one, you're up. let me just fix -- i want to make sure this is on good. there we go. these are on good. all right, go over there. once you hit under the disco ball, it's very dangerous and might fall on you, but good luck. ready, set, dance! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! all right. that's very good. thank you very much. come on over, buddy. that's good. you did good. that was great. time's up. it was good. you got a little bit, one finger off. [ laughter ] can we see that in slow motion? ♪ [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy:

higgins?s to jon gosselin, famous for prolific mating habits and the ability to look like a skeez in almost any situation. hes a browbeaten breeder, jon sselin. next up, is kate gosselin. [ laughter ] this bionic matriarch is known for her withering stare and t ability to talk a man into submission. sh don't take no guff and kicked jon to the curb for his extramarital shenanigans. she's kate gosselin and she's hungry for hot dogs. [ laughter ] lastly, we have a two-faced home wrecker, a double dose of dilly strumpets de up of one half bisexual bong gobbler haley glassman, and one half tabloid reporter, ken major. put the two together and you got a hot dog that's ready for action. james? >> jimmy: thank you very much, higgins. thank you, steve. [ cheers and applause ] did you call her a bisexual -- what is that again? >> steve: bong. bong. >> jimmy: bisexual bong gobbler? >> yeah. [ laught ] >> jimmy: never heard th term before. all right, well therthey are, four sides of a complicated love qua

is that what you said, higgins?000. >> jimmy: okay, well, it's very lifelike, indeed. almost as if it's an empty frame and there's guy standing behind it -- [ laughter ] trying not to move. okay. higgins, what's tonight's designated lick zone? >> steve: tonight's designated lick zone is liczone b, the frame right next to the headmaster's face. >> jimmy: okay. is that what we like? all right. here you go. step up here if you want to. this is it right here. now wd of warning, sotimes they've seen the headmaster paintings move and come to life and ve. i can't imagine how that possiblyappen -- light laughter ] this is clearly a two-dimensional painting. garrett, whenever you are ready. questlove. [ laughter ] what book did you read that in? the fourth one? all right. ready? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. i think you're ready. drum roll ease. ♪ >> jimmy: all right. oh, hey, hey, whoa! ♪ >> jimmy: my gosh. hey, it totally moved. hey, let's see that in super sexy slow-mo. [ laughter ] let's sethat in super sexy slow-mo again. ♪

higgins, what is my question for jared?f jared were stranded on a desert island and had to listen to only one of these two albums, kenny loggins "keep the firr out"hbo a "h now" by kenny loggins, which album would it be? take your time. >> jimmy: by sorting through your pockets to figure out -- yeah. you brought your script, which is interesting. what is this? are you a cop? >> no, that's just to keep me from getting a ticket. >> jimmy: these don't work. will this work? >> it's worked once. >> jimmy: it has? you just speed recklessly? all right. you got that. you got -- looks like a usb flash drive thing. a verizon phone. with all this stuff i'm just saying from -- how much time do i have astronaut jimmy carter? [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: don't take your space helmet off in space, everybody. >>i'm going to say because it's probably one of the greatest album covers of all time, kenny loggins -- dressed like a warlock, holding an orb, he's in space and there's a rainbow behind him, which is physically impossible. i'm going to

higgins gave it to me.ood. >> jimmy: i don't know. >> steve: happy birthda jimmy. >> jimmy: steve, tv voice. all right, everybody, our next guest is an oscar nominated singer/songwriter, oh, i love her. she's touring to support her latest album. "smilers," where is this guy? well, here with the song "freeway," please welcome the great aimee mann, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ you got a lot of money but you can't afford the freeway ♪ ♪ the road to orange county leaves an awful lot of leeway where everyone's a doctor or a specialist in retail ♪ ♪ they'll sell you all the speed you want if you can take the blackmail ♪ ♪ you know it i know it why don't you just show it? ♪ ♪ you got a lot of money but you can't afford the freeway ♪ ♪ you got a lot of money but you can't afford the freeway ♪ ♪ you got a lot of money but you cannot keep your bills paid ♪ ♪ the sacrifice is worth it just to hang around the arcade ♪ ♪ you found yourself a prophet but you left him on the boardwalk ♪ ♪ another chocolate easte

higgins will count us down from three and will wave the flag.wn the hallway, through the backstage area and come flying into the studio. first one across the finish line is the champion! [ scattered cheers ] higgins, whenever you're ready, buddy. >> steve: are you ready? >> jimmy: good man. >> steve: gentlemen, start your engines. one, two, three, go! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: look out for the wall, buddy. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! yeah! [ cheers and applause ] i'm a champion! i'm a champion! a worthy opponent. a worthy opponent, dylan mcdermott, everybody! we'll be right back. we'll bright back with radio talk show host wendy williams. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ guy 2: dudemadden?ou get the nw guy 1: no, not yet. i gotta get to walmart sometime. guy 1: (cou) somebody said they have a bunch in stock? guy 2: oh yeah, there your can just get it and go. guy 2: i mean, you know, that's what i heard. guy 1: you're totally playing right now, aren't you? guy 2: no! i don't know what you're talking about. guy 2:

higgins' commander was recently killed by one.or american soldiers, this war will get worse before it gets better. for "good morning america," i'm nick schifrin, in zable, afghanistan. >>> now, to a bizarre and baffling mystery in california. an 81-year-old man, who recently tied the knot with his childhood sweetheart, has mysteriously vanished without a trace. and his heartbroken wife is wondering what happened. here's abc's mike von fremd. >> reporter: childhood sweethearts reunited after 59 years. then, tie the knot. you'd think this was a fairly tale. >> i've waited. i don't want to be lost again without him. and i want him to come home. >> reporter: the groom, 81-year-old millionaire bob harrod is missing. and as police hand out flyers, the distraught bride, fontelle yvonne harrod is in agony. she moved from missouri to california and married her old flame after being here just six days. the two met in the 1940s on a blind date. bob gave fontelle, this engagement ring. but before they could get married, he was called to fight

higgins will counts down from three and will wave the flag.own the hallway, through the backstage area and come flying into the studio. first one across the finish line is the champion! [ scattered cheers ] higgins, whenever you're ready, buddy. >> steve: are you ready? >> jimmy: good man. >> steve: gentlemen, start your engines. one, two, three, go! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: look out for the wall, buddy. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! yeah! [ cheers and apause ] i'm a champion! i'm a champion! a worthy opponent. a worthy opponent, dylan mcdermott, everybody! we'll be right back. we'll be right back with radio talk show host wendy williams. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ n my heart and soul goes into every piece of furniture i build. before any furniture leaves my shop, i condition it with old english, because it nurtures the wood and brings out its natural beauty. i also recommend old english aerosol to all my customers for their everyday cleaning and dusting. its easy-to-use spray contains the richness of old

>> geraldo: like many gis in theater lieutenant higgins eagerly anticipates the coming surge of u.s.e of them, and once we get more out here we can do more than just disrupt the enemy and more effectively coming down. >> geraldo: with afghanistan looming as the next big front in the fight, a top u.s. soldier who has already seen plenty of action both in afghanistan and in iraq yesterday assumed command of the legendary 101st airborne division. general john f. campbell, a familiar face to fox news viewers. let's roll that if you have it. don't have that yet? all right, we will get to the ascension of the generals, let me talk about the post beer summit debate and the reverend al sharpton i want to bring you in for this discussion and sc kupp and kirsten powers. i have not received e-mails as emotional, as critical as i have after i thought and expressed my opinions that the gates matter did have heavy racial overtones since the immigration debate. is this now going to stand as a huge mistake by president obama, getting himself involved? or do you think there is a dialog at least begun

>> jimmy: higgins, thank god! i need your help. i think miles and jenny -- they deactivated by i.d.elp to get in. >> steve: i know, i know. i can't believe it -- it's in-office beach day. it's here. i'm so excited, i could poop my drawers. >> jimmy: steve, i need your help. >> hold on, hold on, hold on. >> jimmy: thank you. i just need your -- >> steve: got it. all right. i'll see you up there, bud. >> jimmy: no -- higgins -- ♪ >> steve: ♪ my life is so unfinished ♪ >> jimmy: great. what am i going to do now? >> i can help. ♪ >> he's with me. ♪ >> jimmy: does this mean, you're going to be my assistant again? ♪ [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, cool. ♪ >> steve: okay. everybody. so, just, let me finish up real quick -- i think we can all -- be a little more manageable in the men's room. you know what i'm saying? it seems like, walking in is like going to a port-a-john at a rodeo, okay? it's an office building. let's just get the hygiene up a little, seriously. >> excuse me, everybody. if we could all proceed to the elevator bank, please. it's about time to start the conga line. [ ch

words taken from the mouth of the lightning rod for controversy himself, higgins, who's on the mic tonighthe stage are tasha lumburger, angela allen and shumpy white. come on down, shumpy! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> "rush limbaugh karaoke" is a registered trademark of the jimmy fallon corporation. >> jimmy: all right, welcome, welcome, welcome. thank for coming to the "rush limbaugh karaoke" club tonight. what's your name? >> tasha. >> jimmy: tasha, now, would you consider yourself the biggest fan of "rush limbaugh karaoke"? >> i guess i am now. >> jimmy: wow, all right. [ laughter ] you came to the right show. hey, what's your name? >> i'm angela. >> jimmy: you're not shumpy? >> no, i'm not shumpy. >> jimmy: okay, angela. [ laughter ] angela, do you remember the first time you ever played "rush limbaugh karaoke" as a young child? >> no, not really. >> jimmy: foggy? >> yeah, it's really foggy. >> jimmy: you must remember something about it? >> yeah, i was about 6. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] must have been fantastic. [ laughter ] >> shumpy. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] all right, i must

paintball gun. [ laughter ] higgins, what are the rules? the next one's worth 25. top score wins. channing, you go first. we're going to go for cobra commander. >> jimmy: okay, good. now, i just got to tell you this. don't try this at home. if you have huge targets of cobras in your house. [ laughter ] ready? channing, you're up first. >> oh, god. you going to take the camo gun or electric blue gun? >> i'm, of course, going to go with the camo. >> jimmy: camo. >> i'm going to go with the debbie gibson special. >> jimmy: ohh. >> shoots a little high. >> jimmy: no, that's it. >> that shoots a little high. >> jimmy: here we go. all right, here we go. shoots a little high. good to know. what's up, man? surprised to see me? [ laughter ] >> steve: channing, 25. >> jimmy: all right, all right. >> steve: fallon, 0. >> all right. >> steve: zero. >> jimmy: serpentor, serpentor. [ audience ohs ] what's wrong? you a sniper? what is going on with you? >> i'm from alabama, man. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: oh, yes. i think you got me on that one, though. >

higgins?immy, coming to the stage are shawn norman, ross lesvergen and jessica hayden. come on down and get ready for karaoke with rush! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. welcome, welcome. thanks for coming to the "rush limbaugh karaoke" club tonight. hi, what's your name? >> i'm shawn. >> jimmy: shawn, where you from? >> from westchester. >> jimmy: westchester. oh, you're pretty close. look at those tattoos there. three stars. did you see that girl in england that got the sts all over her face? she fell asleep in the tattoo parlor? >> no. >> jimmy: you should google it. >> i'll definitely check that out. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't want the same thing to happen to you. [ laughter ] have you ever done "rush limbaugh" karaoke before? >> never -- >> jimmy: professionally. >> professionally. >> jimmy: well, good luck. it's going to be fun tonight. what's your name, and where you from? >> i'm ross. i'm from right here in new york ty. >> jimmy: oh, good man, ross. all right. now,

orman higgins. of baltimore. the guarantee was 83 degrees. the actual was 82. we're right there where we need to be. there are the stats from today. weevil be back in a -- we'll be back in a few minutes. >>> check on national headlines. not far from the atlantic coast, police have arrested a man who called 911 to report that seven people were killed in a mobile home. police say that person who made the call is a february member. but won't say whether he's facing murder charges. >>> police are searching a yard in a home where a girl was kidnapped 18 years ago be had been living ever since. they want to know if the couple had anything to do with prostitute murders in the area. phillip and nancy garrido have been charged with kidnapping and rape in connection with the disappearance. >>> coast guard had called off its search last friday. a passing fisherman saw the three men sitting on top of their capsized boat out in the gulf of mexico, about 180 miles from land. they were rescued last night, the fisherman even took home video of the men, as they were recovered o

. >> jimmy: higgins? >> higgins is. he said, "i can't say no, it's your dad!"ay. >> jimmy: i've seen this already, i got a screener of all three episodes. and, gosh, it's amazing. it's so funny. >> it came out -- >> jimmy: it's really well-done. here's a clip, "bollywood hero," august 6th, 7th, 8th. >> disease has a name. it's called doubt. and many of you doubters expect chris kattan to spend the rest of his career playing a rambunctious alien with a heart of gold and a penchant for mischief. but i have news for you, doubters. chris kattan is accepting the lead in a big bollywood production. i am a shining light, so stick it up your asses. [ laughter ] i'm going to india. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, you got great reviews in "entertainment weekly" and "tv guide." they gave you rave -- amazing reviews. >> great reviews. >> jimmy: so good, buddy. awesome. chris kattan. "bollywood hero" on ifc! august 6th, 7th and 8th. joe scarborough joins us next. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ man: while looking for his remote, - alex makes an unfortunate di

>> jimmy: higgins' videotape collection. >> thanks, higgins. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] how manythat last movie do you have? >> steve: 47. >> jimmy: 47 minutes. >> steve: of "lean on me." >> jimmy: "lean on me." oh, great. if you don't like it by then, you don't need to watch the end of it. [ laughter ] contestant number two, let's see what you got, buddy. take your time. you want your girlfriend to come down and do it? sorry, everybody. technical difficulties here. here you go. okay. you -- it's a picture of a foot. [ laughter ] >> steve: well, socks with the feet cut off. you've won a pair of socks with the feet cut off. all of the socks with none of the feet part. >> jimmy: no, no. >> steve: appear to be wearing socks without actually wearing socks. fool your friends. enjoy. jimmy? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, wait. no, wait. i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry. i think this is something else. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: i think this is a trip to the podiatrist. [ laughter ] >> steve: hold on. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. that's what it is. >> steve: wait. picture of a foot. yes. well, you've won

and tom higgins, chief economist. and undisclosed location in maine, we have mr. steve liesman. mr. secretary, i want to begin with you. a lot of good news in the numbers relative to what we've seen. is the recession over, bob, in your judgment? >> no, it's not, larry. we are approaching the bottom, it looks like. we're getting worse much more slowly. there is some cause for -- you know, to be upbeat but not to break out the champagne quite yet. >> no champagne, tom higgins. what's your take on these data? >> i think, actually, what i'm optimistic about is not only are we going to see positive growth in q3, but by qq4, i think we my see positive nonpharm payroll ors. i think we will be out of the recession by the end of q3. >> steve, what was the reaction there? i saw it looked pretty positive at the little fishing boondoggle you're at. you're pretending to work when you're at this fishing trip. isn't that what the scam's all about there? >> tell larry i'm taking offer dick cheney and going to a udl, which i understand there's a lot of fishing locations. >> it's an undisclosed locat

operating base mizan. 75 afghans, four romanians, a dog and 50 americans, led by lieutenant patrick higgins>> roger that. >> reporter: two years ago, he was in college at the university of colorado. today, he is the only authority in an area where there is no government. >> my hope is that our influence moves the taliban to as few places as possible. >> reporter: on base, the men play basketball, and the blues. and talk to their families on skype. >> smile, you're on tv. >> reporter: and retire in small bunks at night. >> some days, your mind's not right and you sit up here and think about what's going on back home or -- man, i could be drinking a beer right now. why did i ever join the army, you know, people are shooting at me, what am i doing here? and some days you're like, i'm going to go out there and kick that guy's ass! >> reporter: but the men spend less time firing their weapons, than they do drinking tea. trying to win over ahan villagers. >> we don't expect them to fight the taliban. we don't expect them to kick the taliban out of their homes. but the best they can do is provide

brian higgins, thank you for the refreshments.'t forget the lincoln program that comes up in about an hour. so thank you very much for being a part of today. >> good morning. what a great idea to start breakfast early in the morning after saint patrick's day. [laughter] >> so i want to tell you a little bit about irrational behavior, and behavioral is a very applied to feel. my interest in this field started from a very applied perspective. many years ago i was injured in an explosion and i spent a long time in hospital as a consequence of this. and hospitals by the way are a wonderful place to watch all kinds of irrational behaviors. [laughter] >> but the thing that was most difficult for me in this case was the process of removing bandages. i was in the burn department, 70% of my body was burned and taking bandages was a huge part of my torture. now, if you think about it, you almost had taken a band-aid off at some point and you almost have wondered what is the right approach. do you rip it off, short duration, but every second

higgins, who's on the mic tonight? well, jimmy, coming to thetage are sean, christina beth and vanessa. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] come on down and karaoke it up! "mark sanford karaoke" is a registered trademark of the mmy fallon corporation. come on, christina! vanessa, get down here. come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing? over there. there you go. very good. welcome, thanks for coming to the mark sanford karaoke club tonight. what's your name? >> sean. >> jimmy: sean, where are you from. >> i'm from new york, actually. >> jimmy: you're from new york, very good. good man. now, is this your first time playing "mark sanford karaoke"? >> no, this is actually my third. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, it's a pretty popular thing. it's a pretty popular thing. well, good luck. and gooduck with the competition. what is your name? >> christina. >> jimmy: christina, where are you from? >> chestermere, alberta, canada. >> jimmy: oh, very good. what is it called? >> chestermere. >> jimmy: chestermere, alberta. very

higgins, work on that -- sorry -- contestant number three, let's see what you've got. five. >> steve: whoa! ♪ feel all the exhilaration of this official congratulatory high five from tv's own jimmy fallon. could be used for celebrating a recent accomplishment, a point you both agree on or to boost your self-esteem. it says "you've made it, buddy!" jimmy? >> jimmy: all right. you ready? [ drum roll ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: can we see that in slow-mo replay? here you go. watch it. here it comes. yes! [ drum roll ] >> steve: that's amazing. >> jimmy: that is amazing. now we talked to the judges. and i think we can all agree, you know what prize you won? doughnuts for the entire audience! [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. ♪ there you go. everybody gets a doughnut. everybody gets a doughnut. there you go. there you go, everybody! everyone gets a doughnut! thank you for playing "cell phone shootout." we'll be right back with ashton kutcher, everybody. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ protesting is awesome. do you want to go to my apartment? what?