hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm. oh, with a generous serving of this, there you go. hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm.ou know what? they'll digitally insert me enjoying this a little later and i don't want to brag but i got one of these! isn't this thing awesome? i mean how did they make it so much smaller or larger than the last version. i mean who, who, who needs this old thing any more. and folks, those-of-us who create the shows won't even feel the inserted advertising. i mean they'll just slip it in. for instance, i mean, what could this be? (cheers and applause) >> stephen: i mean, i don't-- i don't think you feel this. i wouldn't mind this being jammed into my show. i mean it could be anything. an electric razor. it could be a telescope or maybe just maybe it's a delicious subway foot long. eat fresh. we'll be right back. (cheersplauseapplause nn".,x8#,xhs2%-xyÍ"ñ÷2sese8p tonight front line travels to new york city while thousands of manhattan residents go innocently about their daily lives. on west 54th street award-winning talk show host stephen colbert faces the biggest challenge of his care

(laughter) oh, hmmmm, hmmmm, i can almost smell my iphone being made. all right, that's enough, that's enough. (cheers and applause) and i have fired jay the intern in favor of a hardworking chinese replacement, gentleman-mess, the intern, everybody, please welcome, there you go. (cheers and applause) ni hao, ja-mes is that how you pronounce it. >> it's jame. i grew up in seattle. >> well could to-- welcome to america ja-mes. >> you want me to go to be i coffee run. >> your people call it tea. and yes, i would love some tea, by which i mean coffee. >> okay. >> stephen: okay. (applause) they're very loyal people. but folks if i really want a chunk of china's billion eyeball audience i need to go there myself. the banquet, i demand you invite me to china to appear on your show. just say the word, and i'll start digging. we'll be right back. )v5"-h"qú",x&"sr6s8s8 >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my guest tonight is a newero scien test who asks philosophical questions by studying the brain, i am going to get her with my medula oblon-gotchas. please welc

>> well, hmmmm. don't lay on the ground a long time,. >> stephen: because you get a wedgey or purple nurple or something like that. >> that would be one of the nationer things that could happen to you. just don't stay down a long time. that is why you see guys when they get hit real hard they pop right up. oh, that didn't hurt, that means it really hurt. >> stephen: the faster they get you know, the clotter they are to collapsing. >> and you don't want to be in a big pileup with the big guys and sweating on you and everything. ard their hygiene is not as good as smaller receiver, quarterback types like us. >> stephen: exactly. do you see my tool set out there that i was exercising there, on the field there. >> i was a little tense though. >> stephen: . >> why didn't you have me with isaac bruce, he has been to four pro bowls, i've been to eight. what is wrong with your math. >> stephen: ive have you here. >> all right, all right. >> stephen: here we go. >> hmmmm, now see, just like that with no pract

. >> jon: so -- hmmmm, if you know a guy who knows a guy who knows a terrorist, you are. (bleep)ed. but if you know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a terrorist, pass the nachos. what if you call papa john's to order a pizza but it's the same papa john's that a terrorist also called to order pizza? therefore, you know a guy who knows a terrorist without knowing it? obviously i'm only using papa johns as an exam. i'm not saying terrorists would call papa john's. they are terrorists not monsters. [laughter] you know what would undermine this reform talk? if these changes contained any glaring loopholes. the database can be quearyed over after a finding or in the case of a true emergency. it will terminate within a fixed time unless the government demonstrates a real need for further secrecy. >> jon: basically the rule is we'll totally follow the rules until such a time where we determine we will no longer follow the rules but don't worry about it you won't hear it because we'll do it secretly. i'm being pessimistic. is this perfect? of course not. but at least the presi