>> and now... >> ho ho ho! >> it's time... >> ho ho ho! >> for susie... >> ho ho ho! cember's a special time for holidays, and we know it can be warm where we live and cold in minnesota, but did you know it can be a different temperature all over the world on the very same day in december? >> really? >> cool! >> ♪ one day in december a celebration to remember one day in december all around the world friends and families being together in every kind of weather one day in december all around the world in norway, kids are skating on a pond all day while santa wore flip-flops in l.a. it was cold in canada and hot in rio, the north pole was muy frio one day in december a celebration to remember one day in december all around the world in maine, they rode toboggans through a winter scene while folks were swimming in the caribbean it was balmy in hawaii with a gentle breeze in alaska, it was cold, but they didn't freeze one day in december a celebration to remember one day in december all around the world friends and families being together in every kind of weather one day in

santa: ho ho ho! [ gasp ] ho! ho! ho! merry christmas! santa! it's you! it's me! ho! ho! ho! nother way? but i can't, it's in my story. see? if there's no chimney at this house, i can't come in. uh-oh! how will we get santa into the house? super why to the rescue! with the power to read, i can change this story and save the day! let's zap the word "chimney" from this sentence. z-z-zap! why writer... write! super readers, what word can we use to get santa down and into the house? let's try "river". which is the word "river"? it starts with the letter "r". children: that one! let's zap the word "river" into the sentence. do it with me. z-z-zap! let's read the new sentence and see what happens. [ ♪ ] ♪ down the river i go ♪ ho ho ho ho... whoa! did "river" help santa get down and into the house? children: no! no, that didn't help. [ ♪ ] oh, thank you, super why. you're welcome, santa. okay, so what word can we use to get santa down and into the house? let's try "ladder". which is the word "ladder"? i think it starts with an "l". children: there! there's it is. let's zap it into t

>> and now... >> ho ho ho! >> it's time... >> ho ho ho! >> for susie... >> ho ho ho! d the world in norway, kids are skating on a pond all day while santa wore flip-flops in l.a. it was cold in canada and hot in rio, the north pole was muy frio one day in december a celebration to remember one day in december all around the world in maine, they rode toboggans through a winter scene while folks were swimming in the caribbean it was balmy in hawaii with a gentle breeze in alaska, it was cold, but they didn't freeze one day in december a celebration to remember one day in december all around the world friends and families being together in every kind of weather one day in december all around the world ♪ >> wow! all over the world, december holidays can be warm or chilly or hot or windy. >> yeah. or really cold in minnesota. ah! i got to pack lots of warm things to get ready for the freezing temperatures. >> well, sid, we can't wait to hear about your trip. and i hope everyone has a wonderful holiday. >> happy holidays, susie! >> oh, thank you. you're so sweet. ok, my scie

>> ho ho ho ho ho! is happening? >> santa, can you stay all year next year? >> absolutely! >> this is always a tricky situation around the holidays. say you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you're going home to visit the family. >> you're not married. how do you work it out? they say if there's a no sharing bed policy in the house where you're visiting, you should abide by that policy. >> you're a guest. >> you are a guest. >> you know that ahead of time, hopefully, you can decide whether you want to come or not. >> they say if you do break the rules, just keep it quiet. santa? >> ho ho ho ho ho! >> i don't know. i don't even know what that meant. anyway. anyway. >> if your parents don't care, then just go far, far, far, far away from their room. you know what? leave the toys at home. unless you're bringing them for little children that live in the house. >> like santa would be doing! >> ho ho ho ho ho! >> all right. think about this. how do you sleep with your husband or wife in bed? how do you do i

mom: ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. vo: shop bestbuy.com and get free shipping on everything. or pick it up at any store the same day. and right now get $150 off select samsung laptops. at best buy. [ male announcer ] it has a famous song. ♪ ♪ it rides in limos. it has a crew. it gets invited to parties with paparazzi. it hangs out poolside. it has millions of drooling fans. it knows the recipe for success. there's nothing like it. the big mac. it doesn't do interviews. and don't miss the mac snack wrap while it's in the house. the simple joy of famous flavor. ♪ ♪ >> al: phillips able to smile. took a shot in the mouth from his own man, garay. but they wind the clock. down to the two-minute warning. that is caught, and smith, and he's going to go to the end zone. 1:55 to play. they finally get it down the field, 36 yards for a touchdown. and after a nice runback by reed, they go 55 yards on the play. >> al: >> cris: you want to say, where has this been? they clear the middle of the field with the receiver sprinting down the field to move the safeties back and hit the crossing r

. >> ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. hello, everyone. i have some announcements. >> oh, my god. nouncements so much, santa. so i can't, like, wait. everybody, please. he's gonna make an announcement. so, like, be quiet because it's going be awesome. >> right, well, i'm thinking of bringing extra presents to the children this year. >> oh, my god. i had the same idea and you said it. that is hilarious. >> which means we should start packing right now. >> oh, my god. i was, like, doing it already. look. i have all these presents and she's, like, not doing anything. >> and since we'll have more presents, we should leave earlier this year. >> that is such an awesome idea. it was, like, in my head. why -- why -- what are you doing with that? no! santa! ♪ barry the brow-nosed elf ♪ ♪ the elf all the other elves hated so we put him into the bag ♪ ♪ where he slowly suffocated ♪ >> ho, ho, ho, ho. merry christmas! [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: i think that sends the wrong message to the young kids. >> rickey: yeah, it does. >> jay: well, as you know, tom hanks had a huge success with "th

mom: ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. vo: shop bestbuy.com and get free shipping on everything.t any store the same day. and right now get $150 off select samsung laptops. at best buy. ♪ ♪ [ jennifer ] no matter where you're from... ♪ ♪ ...elegance... ♪ ♪ ...is hard work. ♪ ♪ it's taking style... ♪ whatever you want me to ♪ ...performance... ♪ i'm gonna see you through ♪ ...and originality and making them look easy. ♪ i can breathe, i can feel ♪ ♪ i believe ♪ ♪ and there ain't no doubt about it ♪ people love the surf & turf. you can't go wrong. [ male announcer ] don't miss red lobster's surf & turf. 3 grilled combinations all under $20. like maine lobster with peppercorn sirloin or new bacon-wrapped shrimp with blue cheese sirloin for $14.99. offer ends soon. i'm john mazany and i sea food differently. so, if the mint makes this hot chocolate cool, does the mint hot chocolate make me cool? not really. the new mint hot chocolate from dunkin' donuts. grab the cool sensation of mint today. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: welcome back, everybody! good to see everybody, wonderful

mom: ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. vo: shop bestbuy.com and get free shipping on everything. or pick it up at any store the same day. and right now get $150 off select samsung laptops. at best buy. (cheers and applause) welcome back, everybody! my guests tonight won three grammy this is year. wow! one more and that's four! please welcome the black keys! (cheers and applause) hey, thank you very much. dan, patrick, good to see you again. those lights tried to kill me. all right, good to see you back. the album you won three grammys for this year is called "brothers," right? >> yes. >> stephen: okay, welcome to the club! welcome to the grammy club. >> right. >> stephen: right. i won a grammy. (cheers and applause) >> congratulations. >> stephen: thank you very much. i wasn't fishing for that but thank you very much. do you have any tips on maintenance or anything? >> yeah what do you use to polish it? >> stephen: a shamie, and feed it nothing but baby food. the new album is called "el comino." all right, why... why the hispanic influence? why not "that comino"? (laughter) >> ac

mom: ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. vo: shop bestbuy.com and get free shipping on everything. or pick it up at any store the same day. at best buy. everybody. thank you so much. folks, please, sit down. folks, the cain train has been permanently derailed and now the question on everyone's minds is who is next. and what form of transportation will they compare themselves to? i can't wait to see whether santorum or perry will be the first to claim the rickshaw. you see, there's a lot of talk out there about jon huntsman now thanks to a recent huge ad buy in new hampshire. >> him. >> the world is literally collapsing and no one has shown up we can trust as a conservative. >> who actually has a chance to win. >> our government's flabby, bloated and weak. why haven't we heard of this guy? >> stephen: good question, cranky old man in close-up, maybe you haven't heard of this guy because the ad you're in was only recently financed by a big corporate sugar daddy, literally. >> jon huntsman getting a little monetary help from his dad. >> some of the money that's going towards these ads

ho ho ho. hey, you! ho ho--uh-oh! ohh! get off me, blubber ball! k about it, jack. ha ha ha. [cuckoo] you hit me with a shovel! uh! uh! adios, fatty! no, frost! no! oh, no. ok, so, the mississippi factory needs to know if we want them to ship 100,000 units or 200,000. uh, they won't ship tomorrow because it's christmas, but they will ship thursday, which means... excuse me. you said they're not gonna ship tomorrow 'cause it's christmas? yes, sir. this is christmas eve? yes, sir. what are you doing here? why are we working? we always work christmas eve. we do? of course. well, that-- that's ridiculous. christmas eve is when you spend time with your family. wh-where's my family tonight? i really don't know, mr. calvin. what do you mean? well, you rarely see them, and you... don't mention them. where are my car keys? [doorbell rings] hey. what are you doing here? um, well, i just came over to see, um... see what? why on earth would you drag yourself all the way over here? huh? is that derek? no. and you're not going out tonight. yeah, ok. what is he do

mom: ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. vo: shop bestbuy.com and get free shipping on everything.t up at any store the same day. and right now get $150 off select samsung laptops. at best buy. we turn now to iran, where tensions are running high after new evidence that scientists there have revived their top-secret nuclear program. either that or iran embracing a new style of glow-in-the-dark architecture, "darkitecture." [laughter] now, a new drama is unfolding. >> iran claims it has captured one of america's most sophisticated spy planes. >> the iranians say they have their hands on an rq-170, a secret stealth aircraft that carries the most advanced censors, cameras and listening devices for spying from the air. >> jon: what? the rq? our top-secret spy plane thingy is in iran? how did that happen? >> u.s. officials tell nbc news that c.i.a. operators on the ground were flying the drone when it suddenly veered out of control and headed deep into iran. [laughter] >> jon: that brings us to our new segment, "i'm not expert, but that sounds like bull [bleeped]." [cheering and applaus

mom: ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. vo: shop bestbuy.com and get free shipping on everything.e the same day. at best buy. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] holiday party. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] making spirits bright! [ female announcer ] cheers to you, mr. kangaroo. ♪ [ male announcer ] go-to... [ female announcer ] winder wonderland. ♪ go-to... [ male announcer ] unsilent night. [ female announcer ] and to all a good yellow tail. always a favorite for your favorite time of year. [ male announcer ] yellow tail. the go-to. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: ladies and gentlemen -- the 12 days of christmas. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ on the first day of christmas these two dudes gave to me ♪ ♪ tron legacy in 3d on the second day of christmas these two dudes ♪ ♪ gave to me two bean bag chairs and tron legacy in 3d on the third day ♪ ♪ of christmas these two dudes gave to me three sausage pizzas ♪ ♪ two bean bag chairs and tron legacy in 3d on the fourth day of christmas ♪ ♪ these two dudes gave to me four twenty bro three bunions ♪ ♪ two b

mom: ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. vo: shop bestbuy.com and get free shipping on everything. were wrong. it's "b," a burnt copy of taylor swift's "speak now" compact disc. thanks for playing "guess the gift." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my next guest is one of the best standup comedians working right now. he's also the emmy-nominated creator, writer, director and star of the critically acclaimed fx show "louis." he just released his new special "louis ck: live at the beacon theater" available exclusively on his website. please welcome louis ck! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, thank you for being on the show, i appreciate it. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: it's our holiday week. >> it's great. >> jimmy: do you have any plans for the holidays? and big things? >> i've got kids so it's just awful, you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's not enjoyable at all? >> no, it's a nightmare. >> jimmy: is it really? >> it's just shopping and then they go, "oh, thanks." you know, and it's just -- it's a lot of work. and then new year's i got my kid

mom: ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. vo: shop bestbuy.com and get free shipping on everything. pick it up at any store the same day. and right now get $150 off select samsung laptops. at best buy. a body at rest tends to stay at rest... while a body in motion tends to stay in motion. staying active can actually ease arthritis symptoms. but if you have arthritis, staying active can be difficult. prescription celebrex can help relieve arthritis pain so your body can stay in motion. because just one 200mg celebrex a day can provide 24 hour relief for many with arthritis pain and inflammation. plus, in clinical studies, celebrex is proven to improve daily physical function so moving is easier. and celebrex is not a narcotic. when it comes to relieving your arthritis pain, you and your doctor need to balance the benefits with the risks. all prescription nsaids, like celebrex, ibuprofen, naproxen, and meloxicam have the same cardiovascular warning. they all may increase the chance of heart attack or stroke, which can lead to death. this chance increases if you have heart disease or r

mom: ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. vo: shop bestbuy.com and get free shipping on everything.ght now get $150 off select samsung laptops. at best buy. (door closes) (siren wails) you here to let me out? not to let you out, finn. to set you free. (laughs) you cops, man. what's that supposed to mean, set me free? the truth, finn. the truth sets you free. i've been looking for it all night. i finally found it. who knew the truth would be hiding in a juvie report from 1996? you got grabbed up moving paper for a chinatown bookie. do you remember who bailed you out? hmm? clifford lee. you been working for the lees for years. little jobs, because, well, finn, let's face it, you're kind of a screwup. but you wanted more. so when you found out ben lee needed a tutor, you recommended your ex... jane... thinking it would earn you points with the family. then you watched it all go sideways when jane and ben fell in love, decided to leave town. you thought... what if the family blamed you? 'cause no one leaves the family business, not even for love. so you tried to make her change her mind

(laughter) >> and it just works forget ho, ho, ho this year, santa is being taught now how to say no, no, no. this holiday season he is balancing the job of being a generous santa with a new reality of having to tell children to lower their expectations in a bad economy. you asked for anything that you want from santa but unfortunately, santa has a budget too. and we're in tight times. mrs. clause and i had to sit down and we literally had to cut back. if every child asked for an ipad, we would be bankrupt. >> stephen: listen up, fatman, the whole point of you being at the mall is to upsell these kids. when littlejohnee asks you for an xbox you remind him how much cooler he would be with the conduct, a one-year live x box system and you don't say ho, ho, ho, nothing can match the 3-d graphics of your imagination. and if a kid asks you for something that is too expensive, you do the responsible thing, you tell him he is not been good enough. now think how much more responsible he will be when he asks for that red schwinn speedster only to discover on christmas morning that it's another

ho, ho, ho! ♪ you're a mean one mr. u really are a heel [ man ] ♪ you're as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel ♪ ♪ mr. grinch ♪ you're a bad banana with a ♪ greasy black peel ooh! whee! - ♪ just face the music you're a monster ♪ - [ cackling ] ♪ mr. grinch yes, you are ♪ ♪ your heart's an empty hole ♪ ♪ your brain is full of spiders you got garlic in your soul ♪ ♪ mr. grinch mmm. ♪ i wouldn't touch you with a ♪ thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole ♪ i asked for three-quarters, not five-eighths. stay focused! [ whimpers ] ♪ you know, if you asked the who's who of whoville ♪ - ♪ no one would deny it - [ max whimpers ] [ coughing ] ow. air bag's a little slow. but that's what these tests are for! - [ barks ] - ♪ you're a vile one ♪ mr. grinch ♪ you have termites in your smile ♪ ♪ you have all the tender sweetness ♪ ♪ of a seasick crocodile ♪ mr. grinch ♪ given the choice between you i'd take the ♪ ♪ seasick crocodile [ gagging ] i'll go to sleep first! no, i will! [ both imitating snoring ] [ grunts ] [ chuckles ] oh,

good to see you. >> ho, ho, ho! >> are you kidding me? >> kimberly. >> oh, my gosh! this. >> show it. it's got his face on it. >> eric bowling from santa. please open that up. >> that's a big red bow. >> santa, you look familiar. >> not at all. >> very handsome man. >> it's actually got my face on it. that's very good. >> nice! >> it's president obama pajamas. >> all right! yes! >> santa. >> that's great. are you going to wear those? >> i'll trade you. i will trade you no matter what you get. >> santa is from the north pole. >> a puzzle ball unicorn kit. >> you love them. we know what you're doing this weekend. >> i'll get this done in an hour. then i'll take it apart. >> to you from santa. >> okay. it's so good to see you. i love you. >> oh, the bad girl's guide to the party life. >> why are you getting that? >> that's called the revelation, which is what that means. >> i got something special from santa for you. >> you know, i'll tell you -- >> it's not edible. >> it's not edible? >> no. >> i was going o say something to santa, but i won't. okay. let me see it. >> y

mom: ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. vo: shop bestbuy.com and get free shipping on everything. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my next guest is one of the best standup comedians working right now. he's also the emmy-nominated creator, writer, director and star of the critically acclaimed fx show "louis." he just released his new special "louis ck: live at the beacon theater" available exclusively on his website. please welcome louis ck! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, thank you for being on the show, i appreciate it. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: it's our holiday week. >> it's great. >> jimmy: do you have any plans for the holidays? and big things? >> i've got kids so it's just awful, you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's not enjoyable at all? >> no, it's a nightmare. >> jimmy: is it really? >> it's just shopping and then they go, "oh, thanks." you know, and it's just -- it's a lot of work. and then new year's i got my kids for new year's eve and i told them they could stay up till midnight. but you know, i'll turn the clocks back and -

mom: ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. vo: shop bestbuy.com and get free shipping on everything.t up at any store the same day. and right now get this samsung laptop for just $379.99. at best buy.

. ♪ hyeh-hyeh hyah-hyah-hyah ♪ ♪ ha-ha-ha ho-ho-ho ♪ ha-ha ho-ho-ho ♪ ♪ poof-poof-poof ♪ ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-oohfft ♪ ♪ ya-ya-ya-ya-ya thumk ♪ ♪ pfft! ♪ blblblbl ba-da-da-ba ♪ victor borge loved to perform and worked with many of the legends of the entertainment world, including johnny carson, frank sinatra, dean martin, don rickles, and george burns and jack benny. haven't seen them in ages, but he did some things with andy williams that were really adorable. 'cause andy williams is a very... he was a smooth guy, and low-key, kind of jazzy in his personality. and he had a great time with my father. they played well together. here is the great victor borge. hi, friends. victor borge for victor borge pianos, where the key to happiness is in c natural. and with your keys, three pedals, all ivory interior. i can put one of these in your living room tonight with all the strings attached. this model is the top of the line. the concert... grand prix -- it comes without watch. and a warranty of 5 years or 2,000 songs, whatever comes first. and whitewalls. what time is it? and what makes it amazing is t

ho, ho. merry christmas! ho, ho, ho. merry christmas. hello. hello, everyone! it's so good to see you all. u all? >> we're doing great. we're glad you're here. >> oh, really. >> she found your reindeer tied up to a what? >> a sleigh. >> okay. >> you have to wait. you have to wait. >> double parked. >> we've got gifts for everybody. >> obviously. >> okay. i came all the way from the north pole just to be here. okay. everybody step back a little bit. we're all going to have a gift. >> everybody sit down. >> santa has gifts for everyone. okay? let's see. this is for you. >> all right. >> and maybe, santa, we are going to help you with this. >> oh, yes, you can do that too. >> excellent. while you're handing out the gifts, tell us, how was your night? >> oh, it was so busy. oh, i was riding all around. this is for you. wait. let's get something for you, boys. >> you know, ginger zee went to kansas to find you. >> really? >> you came here. >> i was here. i always make a stop here after i finish. >> for you, young lady. >> okay, we've got one for a boy. >> santa, thank you very much. we'll have m

ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. - the charmed memories collection at kay jewelers each charm is hand-crafted in italy hundreds of charms to choose from, the possibilities are endless. create your own memories with charmed memories, one more reason kay is the number one jewelry store in america. - i love it. - santa said you would. no, really. you don't decide when vegetables reach the peak of perfection. the vegetables do. at green giant, we pick vegetables only when they're perfect. then freeze them fast so they're are as nutritious as fresh. [ green giant ] ho ho ho. ♪ green giant your new progresso rich & hearty steak burger soup. [ dad ] i love this new soup. it's his two favorite things in one... burgers and soup. did you hear him honey? burgers and soup. love you. they're cute. [ male announcer ] progresso. you gotta taste this soup. >>> still to come on "today" how one woman managed to steal thousands of dollars from friends by pretending she had cancer. >> plus, alec baldwin takes his feud against american airlines to the set of "snl." hear what he has to say. first, these messages. "snl." wh

ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. - the charmed memories collection at kay jewelers each charm is hand-crafted in italy, and with hundreds of charms to choosfrom, the possibilities are endless. create your own memories with charmed memories, one more reason kay is the number one jewelry store in america. - i love it. - santa said you would. no, really. ok look, when gas prices jump... you still gotta work. so suddenly you're cutting back on everything from family vacations to cell phone minutes. well here's a thought - how bout cuttin' back on gas? here's how: the ford f-150. it gets 23 highway miles per gallon. that's the best. so you can get the job done and get a break at the pump. yeah, can you hear me now? this is the future. this is the ford f-150. >> gus: let's take a look at the ford game summary. >> charles: and this action has really heated up. the numbers really starting to look similar. other than sacks, michigan state getting up to russell wilson but late in the game, wisconsin has rallied big time to take the lead. >> gus: first down and ten at the 37. look at the time-outs remaining. mic

we have been working on that but he throws a few more in so it is like ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. >> overachievera third childed. and three times as expensive. every time ier that baby jesus cry i'm alert a little glimpse at christmas future. >> peaky jesus from the show baby jesus. >> for many of the men and women of our military this year will be different because they are home. let's go over to geraldo who is with some of the troops who just returned and you saw them in action, right, geraldo? geraldo i did and that is what is so sweet today, brian is to be with the fellows just by chance that i had the honor of being with over there. let's start with air force master sergeant jeremy laneer. we met in haiti, when you signed up to fight our nations wars did you think you would be doing this kind of humanitarian work helping in the case of haiti as the world knows the people suffering from the catastrophic earthquake. >> that was part of what inspired me to come into the air force. you knew as america we were able to get out and help those less fortunate. that was a great opportunity for our bas

steve hartman with a lesson in the holiday spirit "on the road." >> ho, ho, ho!er: when santa showed up at tar river elementary near ralley, north carolina, he not only brought gifts, he brought every second grader the exact toy they'd asked for in their letters. >> did everybody get what they wantd? >> yeah, obviously. every kid, that is, but bethany arnold who refused to ask him for a single toy. >> "dear santa, my daddy is in iraq, could you bring him home for christmas?" >> that would be the best gift of all. >> reporter: did you know you were asking for something that was kind of tough? >> yes, but... well, it's tough to go around the world in one night. >> reporter: that's true. >> and i never wanted anything more than that. >> reporter: bethany's dad, wyndal arnold, is a contractor in iraq. he's been working on that country's much-needed electrical infrastructure. >> i understand that he has to stay and help people. >> reporter: she's only seen him two weeks in the last two years. >> but i do miss him a lot. >> reporter: last time they saw each other, whil

that so the kids don't know ♪ ♪ wrap that putting on a bow wrap that and make it snow wrap that ho-ho-ho-hoause ] >> jimmy: wow. ♪ wrap that >> jimmy: akon -- akon cornelius, everybody. that is all the time we have for audience suggestions. get out of here. get away. when we come back, you guys -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. get out of here. when we come into back, tom cruise is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: and now it's time to play "guess the gift." is it "a," a festive broach. "b," a nautical telescope. or "c," a citrus-of-the-month membership. we'll give you the answer right after this commercial break. [ woman ] my boyfriend and i were going on vacation, so i used my citi thank you card to pick up some accessories. a new belt. some nylons. and what girl wouldn't need new shoes? we talked about getting a diamond. but with all the thank you points i've been earning... ♪ ...i flew us to the rock i really had in mind. ♪ [ male announcer ] the citi thank you card. earn points you can use for travel on any airline, with no blackout dat

because this is what he is going to need standing on the sidelines behind the great peyton manning, ho ho ho! >> santa, you're brilliant as usual. i'm going over to my elves, you guys. >> santa is funny. >> ho ho ho! >> merry christmas! happy new year! >> caption colorado, llc comments@captioncolorado.com cbs s - f [ male announcer ] dandruff, meet micro-beads. any last wishes? new selsun blue deep cleansing micro-bead scrub goes to the source wiping out flakes before they flake.

that so the kids don't know ♪ ♪ wrap that putting on a bow wrap that and make it snow wrap that ho-ho-ho-hoapplause ] >> jimmy: wow. ♪ wrap that >> jimmy: akon -- akon cornelius, everybody. that is all the time we have for audience suggestions. get out of here. get away. when we come back, you guys -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. get out of here. when we come into back, tom cruise is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: and now it's time to play "guess the gift." is it "a," a festive broach. "b," a nautical telescope. or "c," a citrus-of-the-month membership. we'll give you the answer right after this commercial break. [ male announcer ] cookies with smooth caramel and chocolate. ♪ hmm twix. also available in peanut butter. means i don't have any margin for error. one wrong turn and i could end up unloading a puddle of water. female voice: turn right ahead. so i make sure i have the right guidance to get me exactly where i need to be. it's the same with taxes. turbotax has a unique gps feature that guides me step by step, and if i have any qu

then freeze them fast so they're are as nutritious as fresh. [ green giant ] ho ho ho. ♪ green giantantastic! pro-gresso ] they fit! okay-y... okay??? i've been eating progresso and now my favorite old jeans...fit. okay is there a woman i can talk to? [ male announcer ] progresso. 40 soups 100 calories or less. you can choose your channel package. ♪ you can choose your own internet speeds. ♪ you can even choose to chat with a live person. ♪ now you can choose to save $35 a month for fios tv, internet and phone for just $79.99 a month, plus get a $300 verizon visa prepaid card with a 2 year agreement. but hurry, offer ends soon only at verizonfios.com. contact the verizon center for customers with disabilities at 800-974-6006 tty/v. >>> welcome back. one of the under card fights. anthony peterson defeated by majority decision. his big brother is fighting against amir. can we expect more of these big fights? dave ross found out. >> this is a hot ticket in town. we will be bringing big time boxing back to d.c. it is really exciting because not only can we bring the hbo's of this world,

ho ho ho. guillermo! >> santa? >> we need to talk. oh! i need you to fill in for me this year. >> but i'm not fat enough to be santa. whoa, okay, now i'm fat enough to be santa. now what do i do? >> all you have to do is believe in holiday miracles. >> i don't understand you. >> do what you do best, guillermo. >> oh, eat and get drunk? >> no, guillermo, dance. sing and dance. >> oh. wow. that's a nice taurus. where did you get it, santa? >> the elves made it for >> really? >> no. now get to work. i'm going to mexico. >> so, i'm santa now? >> guillermo? guillermo? guillermo? >> jimmy: guillermo? >> jimmy. >> jimmy: i said wake up. >> oh, jimmy. oh, i guess it was just a dream. >> jimmy: are you growing a white beard, guillermo? >> not so funny, jimmy. h ho ho. oh, no. i think i might be santa. >> dicky: don't miss the thrilling conclusion to guillermo-claus and the all-new 2013 ford taurus later in tonight's show. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with molly sims, music from death cab for cutie and josh holloway. it's true.

ho ho. >> reporter: nothing says christmas like an ak-47. >> so i've heard. >> reporter: ron kennedydale gun club where the line stretched well into the parking lot. families taking part in what may be santa's oddest photo op of the holiday season. >> one, two, three -- good. >> reporter: a jarring image to outsiders. sort of a violent christmas fantasy. santa and machine guns. that's the name of the -- >> that's correct. >> reporter: usually, you think of christmas santa at macy's or blooming dales. a gun club? >> absolutely. people decide to celebrate the holidays in unique ways. some choose to do it with santa at the mall. others in front of their tree. our members and customers like to do wit santa and machine guns. >> reporter: this is arizona, afterall, where many believe the second amendment is the only run the first amendment means anything. >> this is daddy's favorite glock. >> reporter: daddy's not the only one packing heat in the ray family. mommy has a bright pink revolver of her own. tough to say who is more excited to see santa, the kids or mom and dad. >> there are gun