>> well, when i don't feel -- i got fired from hormel. got arrested for pub click nudity in an old folk's home. >> wait! rewind, slow down. you did what? >> me and mike and mo, still buddies this day, there's nothing to do in our town in iowa after 10:00. they had a strike system in the union, three strikes you're out. i always had two, one would expire. i called in sick for work. party ended at 10:00. i was staying at indian hills community college. on the way back there, let's streak. only things open were the diner and jefferson square manor. we ran through the diner, wasn't anybody there, it didn't satisfy us. we knew the nurses there at jefferson manor. it wasn't the people, they were already asleep. we ran through there, nurses called the police. got arrested, handcuffed behind my back. cold december day. >> what was that moment like? >> terrifying. i said i hope this is funny one day. you're handcuffed. people driving by i've known my whole life. i said i pray this is funny one day and here it's sort of funny. we're talking about m

you'll be buried under av an avalanche of spam not seen since the 1968 explosion of the hormel factory. (applause) now the supreme court's decision in the citizens united case allows for unlimited donations. and as you can see, on the colbert superpac tote board we have so far raised somewhere between 100 and our goal of infinite dollars. (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: so somewhere in here. come on. guys, look at that. we're so close to infinite dollars. (laughter) >> stephen: so go to colbert superpac.com. become a member and donate because there are countless conservative issues and candidates deserve the kind of support that only we can provide. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: nation, i don't have to tell you we have an energy crisis on our hands. even our most volatile source of fuel lasts only five hours. that's why i am such a huge supporter of hydro fracking. the drilling process that blasts pressurized water, sand and chemicals below the earth's surface to break up rock and release natural gas. it's like giving the earth an alka sellinger if the alka sellinger s

>> you know, when i don't feel -- i got fired from hormel. arrested for public nudity in an old folks home. >> what? >> me, mike, and mo, nothing to do in ottumwa, iowa, after 10:00. i called in sick to work. they had a strike system. three strikes and you are out. the party ended at 10:00, and on the way back, i was staying at indian hills community college. on the way back, let's streak. the only thing open were the diner and jefferson square manor. the diner, no one was there. we knew the nurses at jefferson square mondayor it wasn't for the people. the nurses called the police, and i got arrested. hands cuffed behind my back. in the middle of main street on a cold december day. >> what was that moment like? >> terrifying. i hope this is funny one day. powerless, you're handcuffed. people driving by, people i've known my whole life. and i pray this is funny one day, and here it's sort of funny. my dad had to come bail me out of jail, naked. >> hard to explain to your father. >> especially my father, jack. very upright citizen, people love

i like to use the hormel country crock mashed potatoes. they're really great for it.s is we sprinkle some fresh chives or parsley on top and you've got a great center of the plate option with spam. >> and hormel has a great spokesperson for you. great meeting you. congratulations on all this. and your enthusiasm with spam is beyond reproach. >> thank you, brian. nice to be here today. >> let's go back inside to steve and gretchen to tell us what else you put together. >> looks delicious. bring me in one of those cupcakes and i'll pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds. >> i greased the cupcake pan. >> i grew up just frying spam. that was one -- >> delicious. >> i'm from minnesota. that's where it's based. all right. this is what we have coming up on the show. she took a stand for the pledge of allegiance. why is she facing six months in the slammer? you'll find out. she's with us live. >> and move over, matisse and say hello to matisse. how to teach your dog to paint. not making that up. ♪ sun in the sky ♪ you know how i feel i'm loving weight watchers pointsplus prog

these are sponsored by hormel and just for starters, can you tell me what takes place?a dark chocolate sour cherry allman bacon park. >> this is a mouthful. >> this is a dark chocolate, sour cherry roasted moment--roasted almond and praline with pepper >> this is one of your favorite ingredients? >> it is the most requested. i have a lot of bacon fat left over. this is bacon confused irish whisky. and there for about four hours and then freeze it. all of the bacon fat:adulate coagulati- and then take it out of the freezer. take the fat out of the liquid. hence, a bacon and used whiskey. >> i can celebrate all different levels of culinary adventures and now, with black label bacon. it could be a chili cook off. pretty much any type of food. just getting them to celebrate it particularly a comfort food. >> that is going to be taking place soon the but since we have this gentleman is with us. he will tell us the perfect bacon. >> low and slow. it will render out all the best. it will make it more crispy. >> cut it slow. >> correct. >> york able to watch it-you are able to