on myself i saw many people got killed on the top income the saw. i was one of those who survived those kind of closure on myself they used electroshocks because i will not sign papers and. i. i was forced to agree that i'm be a member of god you want to go and i was on lots even really i didn't know at the time what used to be i didn't know a lot i try to and if you saw. when they asked me what i thought inside even i said i'm not a member of them and they brought me papers forced me to sign i refused and that's why they tortured me about they forced me to write me to sign make you sign by. electroshocks and. in other times he force me a water treatment a school a lot a lot of boarding it's not. on the water boarding so another time they hang on chains i had chains on my hands and i was hanging on the ceiling the last pulling me on the ceiling with a chain and you into my feets used to be over the floor and. off the few days i stopped a posse of course because in that situation i could not eat or drink and it was freezing call it was during winter t

on myself i saw many people got killed on the torture in qana so. i was one of those who survived those kind of closure on myself they used electroshocks because i will not sign papers you know. i was forced to agree that i'm the member or are you going to go and. i'm not even really i didn't know at the time what used to be i didn't know what i did anything so. when they asked me what i tried and thought even i said i'm not a member of them and they brought me papers wasn't a sign i refused and that's why they tortured me about their forced me to write me to sign and sign by electoral electroshocks and. in other times the force made by what the treatment it's for a lot a lot of boarding it's not it's. there it's normally on the local boarding so or another time. hang on chains i had chains on my hands and i was hanging on the ceiling there was pulling me on the ceiling. and my feet used to be over the floor and. after a few days i start the process of of course because in that situation i could not eat or drink and it was freezing call it was during

>> yes, i got a son. >> how old is he? nths old. >> that's your best bet you don't come back. be a good role model for your son. okay? >> i will. >> all right. you ready to roll? >> yes. >> i have responsibilities, i got a son now, i got a wife. i got to try to make things right there and got to get out there and just do it. >> straight on. >> i'm not shackled. that's pretty cool. >> all right, ray, halfway home, buddy. >> i'm feeling really anxious, it's really happening. say good-bye to this place. just happy to be gone. >> i haven't seen him in three years. so you know, got to get to know him again, i don't know. >> there is your -- good luck to you. >> thank you. >> all right. >> what's up? >> hi. come here. what's up? thank you for coming. >> the whole time we've been married he's been locked up. so i don't really know my husband that well. hopefully he can pull himself out of this and man up. faster, faster. >> i want to be a better dad for my son. dizzy? >>> next, it's been a long search but the results are worth the

on myself i saw many people got killed on the torture and. i was one of those survive those kind of torture. myself they used electroshocks because i will not sign papers and. i was forced to agree that i'm a member of you want to go and. i'm not even really i didn't know at the time what used to be i didn't know what i try to anything so. when they asked me what i did and tell you when i said i'm not a member of them and they brought me papers cost me to sign i refused and that while they tortured me to force me to write me to sign or make me sign electoral electroshocks and. in other times he forced me by water treatment a school board in the snow. on the water boarding so or another time they. hang on chains i had chains on my hands and i was hanging on the ceiling i was pulling. on the ceiling which and you into my feet used to be over the floor and. after a few days i start the process of of course because in that situation i could not eat or drink and it was freezing cold it was during winter. and i had no clothes on so i was hanging the

the first second one i got i had so many people who got killed and some of them got just keep on his head the until he died. he was hanging on cheney and he did. many things. when i. that of course i will sure. i can be the next one. as the young man when i got arrested at that time i saw it's ok now i'm in the hands of the american government. i'm sure they have just. because i had so on the hollywood movies they had made before and they all this is an f.b.i. agent was quoted as saying guantanamo detainees were chained time did foot in a fetal position on the floor with no chair food or water for twenty four hours or more did that take place they did it. i thing with everyone because some astronomy arrived we had to stay in a special position when we has handcuffs and shackles on and our ice was a car with with. with google's so. we had to stay in that situation for a long time and. some people apostles whether any underage detainees in guantanamo yes the youngest one was nine years old the second youngest was twelve and i still can't understand. why they get arrested do you agree w

even though i didn't know the time i got the. innocent person by american government i didn't know about it. after you until i got released or shortly before i got here just so when i saw it just now i would stay there for all my life tell us about your sports career before you were arrested when i was nineteen i was in a very good shape look cause i stopped in for a martial arts since i was seven years old and. i was doing it almost professionally and i saw when i got arrested of course i could not train like before in my life. even in one phenomenal i did train martial arts by myself of course i got punished every time again for it because i was training martial arts it was forbidden even to do pushups of course robe and i gotz also promised they'll put you in for us thank you for speaking with let's see. if your pile end up on my desk you'll get it in good. conscience but throwback and archaic part of our long. it goes back to a time when people would blank out of their forces and the want to. keep from the future being somebod

to talk with us even though i didn't nor the time i got the. innocent person by american government i didn't know about if. you want to lie got released or shortly before i got here just saw and i saw just and i would stay there for all my life tell us about your sports career before you were arrested when i was nineteen i was in a very good shape because i started for a martial arts since i was seven years old and. i was doing it almost professionally and i saw when i got arrested of course i could not train like before in my life. even during one phenomenal i did train martial arts by myself of course i got punished every time again for it was i was training martial arts it was forbidden even to do pushups of course robot and i gots also promised i'll put you in sports thank you for speaking with l.t. . if you're one of the from my down you'll better than good. but try and keep trying to find long. it goes back to a time when people would like out of their forces and the want to. keep them these huge dancing for to mention michelle from prosec

until i got released shortly before i got you just saw. i saw it just now i would stay there for all my life tell us about your sports career before you were arrested when i was nineteen i was in a very good shape because i started. for a martial arts since i was seven years old and. i was doing an almost professional and i saw when i got arrested of course i could not train like before in my life you know bots even in one phenomenal i did train martial arts by myself of course i got punished every time again for it's because i was training martial arts it was forbidden even to do pushups at the last forbidden yeah i gotz also punished for doing pushups thank you for speaking with elsie. please. please please. just so. just so. the. question is that so much i'm going to give each musician the power to find out from the market five months on which is the condition of the egyptian revolution as it lived up to expectations but just. twenty years ago the largest country in. certain places of. sleep must have been choosing to teach began a jour

even though i didn't know the time i got to be. innocent person by mike i'm gone i didn't know about it. after you until i got released or shortly before i got you just saw. i saw it just now i will stay there for all my life tell us about your sports career before you were arrested when i was nineteen i was in a way good shape and of course i started for a martial arts since i was seven years old and. i was doing and almost professionally and i saw when i got arrested of course i could not strain like before in my life. even on one phenomenal i did martial arts by myself of course i got punished every time again for it because i was training martial arts it was forbidden even to do pushups at the last job and i got also punished for doing pushups thank you for speaking with elsie. culture is the same ocean going to use music to share a minute mark was five months on what is the condition of the egyptian revolution as it lived up to expectations but just pick. up. more news today violence is once again flared up to free these are th

i got beat up pretty bad. so they put you in the 3a gym for people with warrants or security reasons and i was a security reason. they didn't know who i got in a fight with and didn't want it to happen again or worse. so they put me in there. i had lied to some homeboys, prison homeboys of mine and i guess i had it coming, but it was taken care of, you know, it's no big deal, really. like i said, they didn't know who i got in a fight with and i wasn't willing to tell them who i got in a fight with. once you tell on somebody, you're over there on the c yard with the pc cases or the rats and that's, that's all bad. you know? there has to be an investigation, and the investigation will show that bottom line it wasn't me that beat the guy up. so i'm not worried about it, really. >> while carlton waits for some good news, gbg member, clement contreras, has some of his own. >> i have a new boyfriend now. we are in the works of getting moved in together and so i have a smile from here to here. >> when i was in the shu

other detainees at guantanamo i got water water. after i had seen a couple things got a couple. people got killed in front of me so it wasn't the first one i got i had so many people got killed and some of them big got just keep on his head the until he died. and he was hanging on saying i'm so you know. many things but when i got to waterboard it of course i was. i can be the next one. young man when i got arrested at that time i saw it's ok now i'm in the hands of the american government. i'm sure they have justice. because i have so on the hollywood movies they had made before and they are always the good ones and if people agent was quoted as saying guantanamo detainees were chained did foot in a fetal position on the floor with chair food or water for twenty four rolls all more take place they did it. i thing with everyone because some astronomy arrived we had to. in a special position when he has handcuffs and shackles on and. ice was a car with with. with google's so. we had to stay in that situation for for a long time and. some people process with a really under each de

i got such a freedom of it. i began to think of it more and more and read about forgiveness not as a theory but as an emotional dynamic 3-d but emotional dynamic is -- and the question i was asking, how do you realize forgiveness so that you feel forgiveness? how do you feel forgiven and how do you help other persons feel forgiven? i came up with the concept of realized forgiveness as an experience and did a double bond the entitlement of forgiveness, which had a lot of research to it. not everyone would be interested in it. it wasn't my best writing, but it was the foundation book 44 years ago. i only i came to the k for three years ago that i've got to put this together again as he would've learned. what i learned is that thanks to mri, we now know a lot more about the brain that we never knew before, so i really studied that material and came back. really, this book is -- now that we know what happens in the brain with regards to forgiveness and the way we did before, how would i rethink the whole matter of th

neither am i. >> he's got a clear conduct. he's still calling shots. >> the problem i have with something like that is he's calling the shots. he's going to call that shot in d-east no matter where he's at. >> to be on the safe side he needs to stay where he's ha at. he can call the shots from where he is now, or if he gets out he can call the shots and do whatever. the reason for the clearer conduct is like you said he has somebody else doing it so he doesn't have to do anything. >> he thinks he's going to have to deal with the rat. if he does come out that he's going to try personally to take care of it himself. >> right now he needs to stay in d-east. if he comes out here he's going to have a problem. >> as weaver predicted, the board decide that had his role in the aryan brotherhood would make him too high a risk to return to general population. >> i guess that's about it. as you can see, this is no country club prison. there's nothing romantic about doing time. there's nothing cool about watching the years go by and knowin

i was like, wow, i got a lot of time. it's not bleeding that bad. but i guess with the traumatic injury, the nerves tuck back and all the adrenaline and... i didn't feel any pain. so i grabbed... i went to my military training, grabbed my tourniquet and was able to apply a tourniquet, get on the radio and continue telling my leadership what was going on. >> jon: you applied your own tourniquet. >> yes. >> jon: and stayed in command of... wow. i mean, i'm honestly speechless. it's a remarkable story, and the one thing, as remarkable as the heroism in that is, is your remarkable heroism and your brothers and all the service people, as extraordinary as your acts were, what's really extraordinary is your ordinary service, the six tours in afghanistan and the two tours in iraq and all that you've done without commendation. i'm so pleased and honored that you would here today. i just wanted to thank you personally for not just your heroism but just your service, which is extraordinary in and of itself. i thank you so much for being here. do you have a coup

even i didn't know the time i got the. innocent person by my kind on i didn't know about it yeah after you until i got released or shortly before i got here just saw it and i saw it just now i would stay there for all my life tell us about your sports career before you were arrested when i was nineteen i was in a way you could say look cause i started playing. since i was seven years old and. i was doing an almost professional and i saw when i got arrested of course i could not train like before in my life. and i'm wondering why did friend martial arts by myself prof cause i got punished every time again for it's because i was training lots and lots of it was forbidden even to do pushups at last i've been there i got salsa punished for put doing pushups thank you for speaking with l.c. . sure is that so much of it if it gives me sufficient. market five months something is the condition of the egyptian revolution as it lived up to expectation which is i. mum. mum. more news today violence is once again flared up saying these

>> how could i do that? i've got to live here. >> i understand that, but you could have went down and said, hey, this happened. you didn't have to give them a name. >> and if i'd have done that, where would i be now? >> i don't know. >> yeah, you do. you work here. you know what would have happened if i'd done that. >> anything else you want to add to your statement? >> no. no. it's not doing me any good. >> based on that case file, i am going to find you guilty of battery, give you a year. 9-22-08 to 9-29-09. take 180 days. i will give you an appeal form so that you can appeal that. >> assigned to a year of disciplinary segregation, stafford will be locked up 23 hours per day, lose some of his personal property, and not be allowed contact with general population inmates. >> i'm going to be living like an animal, in a cage with nothing. absolutely nothing. over what? because somebody tried to take my [ bleep ] away from me. i protected myself. this is what happens. that guy was coming at me with a weapon. i had to do

i got a meeting in 19 minutes. head to your meeting 'cause i got next. t have forgot, this used to be my chair. wasn't but two seconds ago your pasty pilgrim ass was sitting at that front seat and nobody was feeling you. well, they're feeling me now. i'll touch you up. hmm! my customer's running late, so i can take you. cool. hi. hello. so... what's it like working for alderman brown? it's good. the alderman is a great mentor. must be nice doing what you said you'd always do. i really admire that. apple juice? what's going on here? who set this up? this stuff ain't funny. what? this. you being nice to me? you admire me? you got back together with kevin, didn't you? i do not need a man to make me feel good. plus, i'm trying to be at peace with myself. forget this haircut. i don't know this woman. would you know me if i shoved my foot up your ass? oh, yes, there she goes. let's go. calvin: lookin' good, mr. stewart. now you can get your swerve on. calvin, when you get my age, you don't swerve. you just be happy gettin' that bad boy out of park. you tell him

the day i got out, i was going to get it cut. as well donate it to locks of love for the kids. >> this is a 6-inch. so we have 6 and about another 5 1/2. so we've got about 11 1/2 inches there. >> not bad. >> some child will be happy. keep your eyes closed ant don't move because i'm right around your eyes with a pair of scissors. i'm going to bring this to the top of your ears. you're already looking good. feeling a little bit more secure in getting your haircut here? >> i ain't got an opinion on that yet. >> you're not giving me too much confidence here. >> when you're done i'll give you a decision. >> look at it this way, you ain't bleeding, partner. hold on. >> more handsome than i was before, how is that possible? >> that's because you have a good barber. >> appreciate that. >> meanwhile, another one of the prison's self-cutters, rudy gonzalez, has just cut himself again. but this time, gonzalez less than a month away from finishing his prison sentence claims to have had a motive. >> i was on the idu, the segregation unit, and

>> oh. >> i got some kids i got to raise. t they don't have to go through some the stuff that i went through. >> after blanco successfully completes 72 hours of medical, deputy warden jaramillo must decide whether he'll be returned to his cell. >> well, inmate blanco is still in medical. we're going to move him now to a different pod. i talked to him yesterday and he says he's going to conduct himself in a more appropriate level of behavior so we're going to move him to a different cell. i think he's done with his disruptive behavior, at least for the meantime. he's kevin blanco and next week it will be a different story but for this week i believe he's done. >> i get to be transported back to my cell. a cell is a cell. it's still going to be a box. i got like water and a sink and a toilet. >> how's it going today, kevin? >> it's going all right. >> you know what's going to happen today, right? >> not necessarily, no. >> we'll put you back in the cell. your 60 days will start. step two, do you understand that? >> yes. >> so ba

. >> i still wake up in a cold sweat, i got to play that match! oh -- thank you, god, for letting me win. >> the challenges she faced coming out. >> i didn't get comfortable in my own skin until i was probably 51. >> and my surprising connection with her. i was a ball boy at wimbledon. >> no way. >> this is "piers morgan tonight." >>> we will start by talking about rory mcilroy's smashing victory, 16 under par, the lowest score in tournament history. first start to finish winner since tiger woods in 2002 and he's only 22 years old. rory mcilroy joins me now. rory, as a fellow irishman, thank you for coming to america and beating them at their own game in their own backyard. >> yeah -- i mean, no, what can i say. it was one of the best weeks in my life. everything sort of just came together at the right time and it was a great win. >> i mean to come to america and win the u.s. open is a feat very few ever achieve outside of america. what do you think it takes to be a winner? when it actually comes down to it, when you enter that fourth day as you di

i got to do this. so i asked him, i said, hey, just tell me exact time and exact place where i can find him. they end up telling me tuesday, at about 2:15, he would go to a daycare center to pick up his son. i staked out the place, planned my escape route, went to mcdonald's, grabbed something to eat, went to some abandoned horse trailer and put on my armor, my disguise, a hat, glasses, jacket, and i went and wa wa waited. and i waited for -- i don't know, it seemed like forever. he parked in the parking lot about 20 feet from the front door of the daycare center. and i remember the blinds were drawn. that's one reason why my relatives said it would be a good time, because the kids would be sleeping, and the blinds would be drawn, and nobody would see me. so i remember, i got in the car, and i slowly crept to his window. i just remember taking the gun, and i tapped it a few times on his window. and kind of startled, and as soon as he looked at me, i knew it was him and i didn't think or nothing. i just

so i got to pay alimony payments? uncle jack, what the hell? - i froze up. he's great. - congratulations, ms. ponderosa. - congratulations to you. see you around, dennis. - yeah. - mac. - hey, mac, would you mind taking a shot of the three of us for the website? come on, dennis. and would it be okay if you put your hands on top of mine? - sure, yeah. like that? - yes. - okay. - that looks like my hands. - yeah. - for the website! we're lawyers! from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: hey, everybody. welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and ani

i got free food. i got to ride on rides. it was the best day ever. really? wow. yeah. you really were in the ideal situation. >> i had the best situation. >> jimmy: was that the best commercial you got to do or did it go downhill from there? >> no, i did not go downhill. i got a pop tarts commercial and i think i was about -- i loved pop tarts, i mean, who doesn't? >> jimmy: everyone loves pop tarts. >> i got that when i was 10. i got to go on a crazy slide, eat pop tarts all day, which i got sick of. i slid down the slide into a thing of chocolate. which was pretty awesome, it was fake. but i got home and i got a rash all over my body and it was -- >> jimmy: you're allergic to fake chocolate? >> yeah, i think i am. >> jimmy: and you got a job on "west wing" as a kid, which is a big deal. was that your first -- >> rob lowe. my mom was excited. i mean, he's cute, right? >> jimmy: he is, yeah. and, did you talk to rob at all? did you get to -- >> yeah, i took a picture with him. i had a scene with him. and one of the girls -- i played girl number two,

and i got distracted.nd pulled it in and drew a razor blade down my arm. >> mosley's sliced arm required 59 stitches and the scar isn't only physical. >> the psychological effects >> mosley's sliced arm required 59 stitches and the scar isn't only physical. >> the psychological effects never goes away. i think you learn to adjust to it, but you can't take this job for granted. these guys are not here for the right reasons and the reality of it every day is there. keep your eyes on the inmates at all times. don't ever take your eye off them especially on death row because these guys got nothing to lose if they were to injure you. >> hodges declined to talk to our producers on camera. ironically, the prison videotapes his every move. >> we film him everywhere he goes when he comes out of that cell just like you're filming me so we can maintain some kind of discipline. >> but when we travelled to utah state prison we met one condemned man who was willing to speak with us. at the time of our interview ralph me

let them go, alive, after i got through. and we met back up in california. >> what i didn't know is they were already under fbi surveillance when i got there. the guy jumped out. he had a shotgun. pulled my gun. if i didn't see all them guys in black from behind -- i looked up, i was looking at about ten submachine guns. well, might have to re-evaluate this, you know. so i laid the gun down and got down. >> jimmy has only been back at pnm for a few days, after being away nearly two decades, and he's already butting heads with staff. >> hoop going who's going to handle it? >> the thing i'm saying is no one is supposed to touch it. >> you need to write it on paper. i can't help you. he can. you know what i mean? fight back fast with tums. calcium rich tums goes to work in seconds. nothing works faster. ♪ tum tum tum tum tums is now honey nut cheerios! yup, america's favorite. so we're celebrating the honey sweetness, crunchy oats and... hey! don't forget me!! honey nut cheerios. make it your favorite too! here's the truth: alls

i got scared and i went and i was a bartender down the street. i did whatever i could to support it. but getting that $15 changed my life. >> you are obviously inexorably linked to roseanne barr. is that a good thing? >> i haven't talked to her face-to-face in almost 18 years. >> she's on twitter. i communicate with her on twitter. do you ever? >> no. she does two tweets that are interesting. >> do you follow her on twitter? >> no. but maybe i should. >> maybe it can bring you back together. through twitter. >> yeah, it would take twitter, it would take a lot. i'm very happy for her. i'm happy she has a new show. i hope people watch it. i want her to succeed. i'm grateful to her. i talk about her in my stand-up but it is so long ago that it seems odd. she did e-mail me in december start e-mailing me out of the blue. random. i hadn't heard from her in many years. i showed ashley, my wife, and she let me write her back and every other e-mail was really mean so it reminded me! she can't help it. my thing is i got to be a stepfather for five years be

what's trisha lashley i don't know if to be but. her name now she got married. i don't know what i mean where does she live a part of town you got to help me barbara i can't help you or he lives. with his girlfriend the bounty hunters of the serious leaps. they follow it without losing time with the help of the internet they find the telephone number of the. girlfriend's cousin she knows the fugitive but. ok don't do anything till we get down there i'll call you back. with you guys you doesn't do it go on home there's nothing going on. well here's the thing we really don't disclose information when it gets this close because we don't know who you really are. you could be somebody who's just trying to trick us. yeah very good. well i think we got the address or at least a real call to the. to go friend's cousin is still on the phone with padilla she is ready to cooperate after all she posed to deal for the fugitive and even agrees to lead them to his hideout. ok. girlfriend's house the cousin make sure the dealer is here. they got no guns on the house. on the phon

that's when i got off the desk and started laying in to him. the minute he did that, i drew the line and doesn't matter how big he is, how small he is, i just needed to draw that and get that off my chest to let him know this is what's up. and it's sad. we went off like 20, 30 seconds and then stopped, shook hands, there ain't no problems no more. from that point on, he was quiet when i was watching tv. >> the two men are moved to holding cells until authorities can find new housing assignments for them. >> we'll bring each of them down, talk to them. if it's necessary, we'll place separation orders so neither one sees the other one again. there is a certain boiling point with inmates where, you know, if you live with somebody for a certain amount of time in a very close proximity, tensions can rise and something as small as somebody not being quiet at the appropriate time can lead to something like this. >> over in mod q, markus cash, also known as drama, has reached a boiling point of his own. >> you're not locking these doors. >> he's gotten

i got to go. obviously it isn't too pretty now. ank you for everything. i appreciate everything and mean it. i do love you and miss you. love you, mel. i don't know how i feel about it. it's just -- i don't know. i just hope she gets it. >> reality is also hitting hard for ja-norris hayes. >> never been in segregation before. >> after he was attacked by another inmate wielding a sock full of batteries hayes was moved to segregation to await his disciplinary hearing. while he didn't instigate the fight, he could get charged for the upper hand. ignoring those to stop fighting while the deputy assigned to the unit waits for backup. it's up to the deputy officer to decide how long hayes must stay in segregation. >> did you fight back at all? what did you do there? >> blocked it and rushed to defend myself. >> right. >> i ended up on top of him. >> right. >> and that was it. i came -- >> when you ended up on top of him, were you punching into him at that point in time? >> i can't say. >> all right. because that's what officers -- >> defe

uh, listen, i-i-i got to run. i got to make sure the guys have got the hookers. hookers? ookers"? i didn't mean-- yes, you said "hookers." he didn't say "hookers." i'm walking ricky out. you had to open your mouth. you had to say something. you had to say "hookers." ooh, doc, i'll pay my bill. doc, don't hurt me, please. i'll kill you. oh, please, i'm-- no, doctor, please, i'm--i'm poor. i'll break your legs! i'll rip out your guts! i'll break you in half! now shut up and get out of here! okay, all right. go. okay. oh, listen, i'm gonna see you saturday night for the boogah--boogah-- oh, out! mrs. phillips, you're next. (rick) i got it. i got it. thunk! okay, who serves? it's your turn, dad. (rick) it's long. it's to the fence. it's to the wall. it's good. (man) rick. yeah. hit the ball easier, son. you don't have to kill it. uh, maybe we should go in now. no, we will at least finish this set. you ready? yo! ugh! [imitates crowd cheering] yes, cleveland wins the pennant! thump! one of these days, i'm gonna burn the thompson court right to the ground. [ bird chirps ] [ snor

i got to say-- (cheers and applause) i have got to say i am disappointed. this is a monumental issue that could affect the economy for a generation of americans. four days until the country could default and these clowns in washington are using the lord of the rings to say that john mccain is sauron, that is ridiculous, mccain is clearly saru mann. there he is. look, he lights up. he lights up s that not awesome? okay, now you see, saruman is in league with sauron back here, all right. he's in league with sauron who is actually obama, okay. and the hobbit, the hobbits aren't the tea party, the hobbits are cantor-- kantor and boehner, okay, and let's say lieberman just on appearances. and gandalf is the tea party right here, okay. you shall not pass legislation raising the debt ceiling! (cheers and applause) and then mccain is all-- ,-- the cave troll is, i don't foe but it's awesome. let's say nancy pelosi, i don't know. and oh, i also have a pinball machine over there, lord of the rings pinball machine. it's a limited edition and that is the american peopl

when i first got her, all she wanted to do was cuddle. ow, she's basically learned that she can get petted whenever she chooses. so i'm on her schedule now. i want her to be healthy. i want her to be happy. it's kind of like being the parent of a newborn, i guess. i've never had kids. but she's like my kid. >> as such, brown has enrolled gia in a training program to become a therapy cat. >> we're taking gia up to rtu, and basically going to let the guys up there, who are outside of population because of mental health problems, going to let them have some interaction with some cats. i've seen how the cats help people in population, the calming effect. and i thought it would be kind of cool to let them guys have that interaction also. this is gia. >> gia? >> yeah. >> a little one. that's a beautiful little cat. >> she's 15 weeks old this week. >> 15 weeks? >> little kitty cat. >> she won't bite you. she's never bitten anybody. how long have you been back up here? >> about two months. >> look like you're going to come off soon? >> probably wh

i ain't got nothing on me. what i got, a grenade? ain't got nothing on me. >> then you have no problem doing it right. >> no, i'm not doing it. i just did it. i don't have anything on me. >> do it right. >> i'm completely naked, i ain't got nothing. no. >> do what we ask you to do. >> no. >> because he was so close to the door, i couldn't tell if he had just reached the end, i don't want to squat and cough anymore, i have done it enough or if in a weird way he was trying to hinder his chances of getting out. >> i don't got to go to this [ bleep ] meeting. >> yes, you do. >> no, i don't. you think i'm stupid. i've been doing this a lot longer than you. a lot longer than you. probably still wearing diapers when i was doing this. thinking i'm stupid. all you guys were wearing diapers when i was doing this. >> just follow the directions so we can go. >> i don't have anything. >> then turn, squat, and cough. >> i don't have anything and you know it. >> sanchez eventually complied with the rest of the strip search. but was still angry abou

>> jimmy: everyone loves tarts. >> i got that when i was 10.crazy slide, eat pop tarts all day, which i got sick of. i slid dowow the slide into a thing of chocolate. i was fake. but i got home and i got a rash all over my body and it was -- >> jimmy: you're allergic to fake chocolate? >> yeah, i think i am. >> jimmy: and you got a job on "west wing" as a kid, which is a big deal. was that your first -- >> rob lowe. my mom was excited. i mean, he's cute, right? >> jimmy: he is, yeah. and, did you talk to rob at all? did you get to -- >> yeah, i took a picture with him. i had a scene with him. and one of the girls -- i played girl number two, and s s was girl number one. it was an awesome part. and she taught me how to talk with my loutedclosed. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> i can talk with my mouth closed. >> jimmy: can you do it for us? >> all right. >> jimmy: what the hell, right? >> that's all i can say right now. >> jimmy: you learned that from girl number one? >> girl number one. and i did it in front of rob. >> jimmy: he liked that? >

i did try. -- i got put on the waiting list for some of those. i did try. this little university was willing to give me a four-year scholarship. i took a risk. it was one of the best decisions i made. it was one of the best experiences i had come up being in one of these small liberal arts colleges. it was completely on the opposite side of the world. >> you were one of the few asians there. there was a bristly joke -- bruce lee joke. >> do not talk to my wife. she has these pictures of me in college. my hair was down to here. they did not know what i was. i had a mustache, long hair, big glasses. you cannot tell if i was russian or indian. [laughter] you have to ask. i got a lot of those questions. when people found out i was chinese, and was one of five on campus. there was a lot of ignorance about chinese-americans on the campus. i had two jokes. i was either bruce lee's brother or a descendant of robert e. lee. [laughter] whenever i got really patriotic, robert e. lee. [laughter] that is how i got into college. [laughter] i used that opportunity in thos

i said, baby, i got to go, i got to hang up. at that time, ms. that means you, lashbrook. here is where i know i did wrong. i pointed up at the bubble, and i told her to curve her [ bleep ] with me, excuse my french. you all know i got a mouth when i get upset. or when i -- you know, there's no secret about that. i did hang up. i didn't stay on the phone for several minutes. it took me a few seconds to say, i -- i can't just hang up right on my wife, that would be rude and she was in tears and i don't want to be inconsiderate to the officer giving peay direct order. if i'm guilty of anything, i am guilty of verbal abuse. >> they didn't charge you with that. >> yeah. i'm not trying to be a pain in the ass or anything. >> i know you're not and i understand you not wanting to be disrespectful to your wife. but you still got to take responsibility for your actions. i mean really and i understand that. stuff happens. you admitted that you had to be told three times, three times, so that was enough times to lock down and i do -- you know, you have to d